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{"id":865,"date":"2017-02-17T20:02:22","date_gmt":"2017-02-18T02:02:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/frankdeleon.com\/?p=865"},"modified":"2017-02-17T20:02:22","modified_gmt":"2017-02-18T02:02:22","slug":"okinawa-part-seven","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/frankdeleon.com\/?p=865","title":{"rendered":"Okinawa – Part Seven"},"content":{"rendered":"<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Okinawa<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n Part Seven<\/strong><\/p>\n September-October 1966<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n The Event, Interrupted<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n Right after the Johnny Carson interview with Hubert Humphrey, the Democrat candidate for President, I must\u2019ve fallen asleep in the big overstuffed chair, despite waiting anxiously for Claudia Cardinale\u2019s turn on Johnny\u2019s couch.\u00a0 I heard a voice coming from faraway calling my name\u2014softly at first, then louder and with more insistence.<\/p>\n \u201cMr. DeLe\u00f3n!!\u00a0 Sir, could I talk to you, please?\u201d<\/p>\n I opened my eyes and the vague memory of where I was and why I was here just wouldn\u2019t come to the forefront of my memory.<\/p>\n \u201cSir!!\u201d\u00a0 This time the voice was much closer, and I forced myself to focus.<\/p>\n \u201cYe\u2026yes?\u201d\u00a0 I managed to mumble.<\/p>\n \u201cSir, could I have a word with you?\u201d<\/p>\n Taking a deep breath and blinking my eyes rapidly, a man\u2019s face\u2014slightly in need of a shave\u2014came into view.\u00a0 He was wearing rimless spectacles and had a funny looking white cap on his head.\u00a0 I pulled myself into a more upright position, and the man moved away from my face.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sure.\u00a0 Sorry, I must\u2019ve fallen asleep.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo problem.\u00a0 Hi.\u00a0 I\u2019m Doctor Rogers, and I\u2019m tending to your wife.\u00a0 It looks like I have a bit of bad news for you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh?\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong?\u00a0 Is my wife OK?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell\u2026yes, for the most part she\u2019s fine.\u00a0 It\u2019s the baby that\u2019s being stubborn.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cStubborn?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, I\u2019m afraid so.\u201d\u00a0 He turned his body slightly and sat down on the large left arm of the chair.\u00a0 \u201cIt seems that the birth is not going to happen\u2026at least not tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo, I came out to tell you that maybe you should go home.\u00a0 We\u2019ll call you if something changes.\u201d<\/p>\n I sat straight up, almost knocking the man off the arm of the chair.\u00a0 \u201cUh, so she\u2019s not ready to have it yet?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, everything seemed right on schedule, then her labor pains subsided quite a bit, so it seems we\u2019re into a sort of \u2018wait-and-see\u2019 mode.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd, I should go home then?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, you\u2019re certainly welcome to stay here, but I can\u2019t tell you when she\u2019s going to resume her labor.\u00a0 We\u2019ll try to induce, but there\u2019s no guarantee that she\u2019ll start right back up.\u00a0 I just thought you\u2019d be more comfortable at home, rather than trying to sleep here.\u201d<\/p>\n I looked around and found that the large room was empty and the TV was off.\u00a0 I tried to find the clock on the wall to see what time it was.\u00a0 \u201cWhat time is it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, it\u2019s about twelve-thirty right now.\u00a0 Do you have a long drive to get home?\u201d\u00a0 he asked.<\/p>\n I stretched and continued to gather my bearings.\u00a0 \u201cNo, it\u2019s not that far.\u201d\u00a0 I yawned, large.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, then!\u00a0 I suggest you go on home.\u00a0 If anything changes, we\u2019ll be sure to call you.\u00a0 It\u2019s my understanding that this\u2026um\u2026birth is not particularly welcome.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot as far as I\u2019m concerned.\u00a0 I really don\u2019t have anything to do with it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo then, it\u2019s best that you wait at home.\u00a0 OK?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure.\u201d\u00a0 He moved off the arm and stood up.\u00a0 I noticed he was wearing something that looked like a big white apron, tied off at the front\u2014and funny shoes that looked like white ballet slippers.\u00a0 I got up and stretched and yawned again\u2014this time a little noisily.\u00a0 \u201cOK, so I\u2019ll get a call\u2026when?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf anything changes in her condition.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK, thanks.\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor stuck his hand out to shake mine.\u00a0 \u201cGood luck.\u00a0 I know this isn\u2019t the best situation for either of you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026but, that\u2019s OK.\u201d\u00a0 And I walked out of the \u201cExpectant Fathers Waiting Room\u201d, and headed for the elevator.<\/p>\n The temperature had fallen quite a bit since we\u2019d arrived and I was shivering a bit by the time I got into the front seat.\u00a0 After all the miles I\u2019d put on this car in the past few days, it almost felt like an old friend.\u00a0 The drive back to Sharon\u2019s house seemed a little shorter than when we\u2019d taken off for the hospital, and before I knew it, I was turning left into her driveway.<\/p>\n I saw another car there, a green older model Ford, and remembered that Sharon had mentioned calling Brenda.\u00a0 I assumed this was her car.\u00a0 I opened the door, expecting to see her\u2014as all the lights were on\u2014but I stepped into an empty front room.<\/p>\n Suddenly, Sharon\u2019s bedroom door opened and Brenda stepped out.\u00a0 She was not the same girl that I\u2019d last seen so long ago in Winnemucca.\u00a0 Dressed in black bell-bottomed jeans, and a white western-cut long-sleeved blouse, she seemed taller, filled out; and, her long black hair had been permed into a cute semi-Afro style.\u00a0 She still had the same, almost transparent large blue eyes, and her once thin face was now nicely rounded out\u2014creating a pair of deep dimples on either cheek.\u00a0 I\u2019d once thought that she was a pretty girl, but she\u2019d blossomed into a beautiful woman.<\/p>\n She opened her eyes wide and threw her arms out into a warm welcoming hug.\u00a0 She bounced up to me, giggling.\u00a0 \u201cOh Frank!\u00a0 My God, you look great!\u201d<\/p>\n I hugged her back\u2014hard, taking in the light sweet scent of her perfume.\u00a0 \u201cBrenda!\u00a0 You look pretty good yourself!\u201d<\/p>\n Still holding me tightly, she pulled her head back taking me in with her eyes.\u00a0 Suddenly, she smiled, pulled me back in, and planted a big juicy kiss right on my lips!\u00a0 Surprised, I tried to pull my head back a bit, finally surrendering to her insistence.<\/p>\n \u201cThere!!\u201d\u00a0 She said, throwing her head back.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve been wanting to do that for years, but I always thought you were too hung up on Sharon!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell\u2026uh\u2026\u201d I stuttered.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know what to say.\u00a0 Thanks, I guess!\u201d<\/p>\n She laughed heartily.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I see you haven\u2019t lost your sense of humor.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell,\u201d I said, disengaging myself from her grip.\u00a0 \u201cThere hasn\u2019t been a lot to joke about lately.\u201d<\/p>\n She stepped back and look of sadness came over her face.\u00a0 \u201cOh Frank\u2026God\u2026this is so awful.\u00a0 How can you stand it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean, Sharon getting pregnant?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, yeah\u2026no!\u00a0 Everything!\u00a0 I mean, you just don\u2019t deserve what she\u2019s done to you.\u00a0 And believe me, she\u2019s paid for it too!\u201d\u00a0 She walked over to the couch and sat daintily down.\u00a0 \u201cEveryone has just about written her off\u2026she\u2019s like the black sheep of the family, I\u2019ll tell you.\u00a0 I was the only one she ended up talking to, and that\u2019s because I just felt so sorry for her\u2014and her pathetic situation.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, well I don\u2019t know too much about it.\u00a0 She never wrote me while I was gone\u2014well, except for the letter that I got in July when she told me her condition.\u201d\u00a0 I sat down on the other end of the couch.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah!\u201d she said, forcefully.\u00a0 \u201cAnd even then, she didn\u2019t want to do it!\u00a0 She had to be forced, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t know that.\u00a0 All she said was that everyone, including her lawyer had advised her to write me and tell me about what was going on with her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, well she was in denial for the longest time\u2014claiming that she just didn\u2019t know what had happened, when she damn sure knew what caused her problem.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, in her letter she didn\u2019t know who the father was and we haven\u2019t had a chance to talk about it\u2014in fact, we\u2019ve really not talked about anything since I came back.\u00a0 We did speak a little during dinner last night, but all she seemed interested in was finding out about Okinawa.\u00a0 She made comments to the boys and me about being excited about going to a foreign country, you know, and stuff like that.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t feel that I should bring up her pregnancy in front of them.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh!\u00a0 Are you planning on sending for them after all this is over and you go back?\u00a0 You\u2019ve still got a couple of years to spend over there, right?\u201d<\/p>\n That question brought on a great feeling of sadness and sorrow\u2014and my throat tightened up, causing me to pause and swallow hard a couple of times.\u00a0 My memory instantly replayed the scene a few weeks prior when, after I\u2019d asked for an appointment, I found myself sitting in front of one of the Assistant Adjutant Generals at Naha Air Base.\u00a0 I had showed him Sharon\u2019s letter, which he read several times over; then, finally looking up and asking me what it was that I wanted to do.\u00a0 Without hesitation, I told him that my first inclination was that I had no desire to continue being married to her, but I wanted to know what my options were.<\/p>\n After referring to a couple of large black, red-trimmed volumes, he advised me that under the \u2018Soldiers and Sailors Civil Relief Act\u2019, I had the right to file for an uncontested divorce, and my absence at any, and all, court proceedings would be allowed due to my military service obligations.\u00a0 In other words, I could file for divorce, offer a reasonable amount of monthly child-support (which could be increased or decreased by the presiding judge), have any alimony demand quashed (given the defendant\u2019s egregious actions), and have a judge render a final judgment\u2014all with my not having to be present at any of the proceedings.<\/p>\n After about another hour of discussion I told the AAG that I would make my final decision after I returned from Reno.\u00a0 He thought that was a good idea, and advised that whatever I decision I came to should be properly and carefully considered\u2014as the result of that decision would be permanently binding on all parties.<\/p>\n On the long flight home, I had all but made up my mind to file for divorce.\u00a0 It had come down to this: I felt that I could never again trust Sharon.\u00a0 And, if my trust in her was gone, then I had no business being married to her.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, uh\u2026well, like I said before,\u201d I stuttered, as Brenda\u2019s interest piqued, \u201cI haven\u2019t had a chance to talk to her about that, or anything else.\u00a0 I guess once this is all over we\u2019ll have to have a serious discussion.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I\u2019ll tell you what I think! She fucked around on you, then denied the obvious to everyone here!\u00a0 So as far as I\u2019m concerned anything you decide to do, short of forgiving her and hauling her unfaithful ass back with you, would be entirely justifiable!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell\u2026we\u2019ll see\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh yeah, and that bullshit about her not knowing what happened?\u00a0 That\u2019s a crock.\u00a0 She told me and Sherry\u2026you remember Sherry don\u2019t you?\u00a0 She was Sharon\u2019s bridesmaid.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s living here in Reno now, working at one of the casinos.\u00a0 Anyway, she told us that she\u2019d been invited to a Christmas party by someone none of us ever met; and she ended up getting drunk.\u00a0 She said she woke up and this guy was on top of her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh God.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, she claims she was so drunk she just let him do it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cReally?\u00a0 So in truth, he raped her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOne would think!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDid she ever report it to the police?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo!\u00a0 Her excuse was that she was too embarrassed.\u00a0 Can you believe that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cKinda sounds like something she\u2019d say.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, well I think she knew what she was doing all along.\u00a0 Just didn\u2019t think she\u2019d get knocked up.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cProbably.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnyway, the phone call\u2014did she already have the little bastard?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHuh?\u201d The question shocking me in its bluntness. \u201cOh, no.\u00a0 The doctor told me to come home because her labor pains had subsided, and they weren\u2019t sure just when she was going to give birth.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo, you\u2019re just supposed to just wait here until, what?\u00a0 She pops?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat else can I do?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRight!\u00a0 OK, I have an idea.\u00a0 How long has it been since you\u2019ve had a glass of good scotch whiskey?\u201d<\/p>\n It was then I remembered that Brenda\u2019s choice of drink was scotch.\u00a0 \u201cWell, Okinawa may be on the other side of the world, but they do have scotch whiskey there.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHa!\u00a0 That may be, but I\u2019ll bet it just doesn\u2019t taste the same as it does when drinking it in Nevada.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou may be right there.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo, here\u2019s what we\u2019re gonna do: Since I couldn\u2019t find a damned thing to drink around here, I\u2019m gonna run out and buy us a bottle; and you and I, old buddy, are going to get old-fashioned shit-faced!\u00a0 What\u2019dya say to that?!\u201d<\/p>\n Actually, I didn\u2019t have anything to say about that, so I just asked a lame question.\u00a0 \u201cSo, what would be open this time of night?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAre you shitting me?\u00a0 This is Reno!\u00a0 Everything\u2019s open!\u00a0 Boy, you\u2019ve been gone too god-damned long!\u201d<\/p>\n And with that, she jumped up and retrieved a fancy black rawhide leather jacket that had been hanging on one of the kitchen chairs.\u00a0 I noticed that she was wearing a pair of really expensive-looking western boots.<\/p>\n \u201cIt won\u2019t take me but a jiffy, then we\u2019ll\u2014by God\u2014put this night away properly!\u201d<\/p>\n I reached into my pocket to give her some money.<\/p>\n \u201cNo! \u00a0No you don\u2019t!\u201d She said\u2014shaking her finger at me. \u201cThis bottle\u2019s gonna be on me.\u00a0 It\u2019s been a long time since I\u2019ve bought a handsome man a drink.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK,\u201d I laughed.\u00a0 \u201cBut if you find one out there fitting that description don\u2019t you dare bring him home!\u201d\u00a0 She laughed loudly.\u00a0 So instead of money I pulled Sharon\u2019s car keys out and threw them to her.\u00a0 \u201cHere, you better take Sharon\u2019s car.\u00a0 I parked it behind yours in the driveway.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRight!\u00a0 I\u2019ll be right back.\u201d\u00a0 She grabbed me by the cheeks with one hand and planted a noisy kiss on my mouth.\u00a0 \u201cHold that thought!\u201d And, she walked out.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n She brought back a fifth of Cutty Sark.\u00a0 \u201cI remembered it was your favorite.\u201d she said, after putting the bottle down on the dining table.\u00a0 \u201cLet me find us a couple of glasses and a pitcher of water, and then let\u2019s see how much damage we can do to that baby.\u201d<\/p>\n We talked and we drank, and she filled me in one what she\u2019d been doing since we\u2019d last seen each other way back in what seemed decades to me.\u00a0 She\u2019d moved to Reno, and was living there when Sharon had returned and I\u2019d flown off to Okinawa.\u00a0 Some good-looking cowboy named Roy, who\u2019d been working the rodeo circuit had swept her off her feet and they\u2019d married.\u00a0 Two years, and two kids later, she discovered that during those trips when he was competing, he\u2019d fathered a number of other kids with other women in a couple of other states.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, but don\u2019t worry,\u201d Brenda said while taking a healthy swig off her lightly-diluted scotch and water.\u00a0 \u201cHe ended up paying big for his fucking little indiscretions.\u201d\u00a0 In addition to a healthy chunk of change up front, she ended up with some land in Idaho and a generous monthly child support payment.\u00a0 \u201cI ended up doing OK, but you know the sad part is that I really loved that asshole\u2014and even with all that went down, I still really miss him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, that\u2019s too bad.\u201d I said.\u00a0 \u201cBut I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll find someone else.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHa!\u00a0 Well, if I were looking\u2014maybe.\u00a0 But no, not for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo where are your kids now?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRoy\u2019s back off the circuit for a while after cracking some ribs, so the kids are with him for a couple of weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh.\u00a0 So, you always dress like this when you\u2019re just hanging around the house waiting for your half-sister to call?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh no.\u00a0 I was getting ready to go out western dancing with some of my girlfriends when she called.\u00a0 Hell, if you were home for good I\u2019d take you out to the dance hall and show you off.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cStop it!\u201d I said, a little embarrassed. \u201cI have other things I need to worry about right now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I guess you do.\u00a0 Too bad.\u201d<\/p>\n I don\u2019t remember exactly when we decided we\u2019d had enough, but the shrill ring of the light green wall phone brought my senses back abruptly.\u00a0 I was lying, face-down on the couch, one arm under me and the other resting on the floor.\u00a0 With every ring, my head throbbed, and as I pushed myself upright, I felt a little light-headed and a lot nauseous.<\/p>\n The wall that the phone was hanging on really looked far away, and I wasn\u2019t sure I was going to be able to walk all the way over there to answer it.\u00a0 I looked around for Brenda, but she was nowhere to be seen.\u00a0 I got myself to my feet, leaned forward, and pointed myself in the direction of where the phone was jangling noisily.<\/p>\n \u201cHello?\u201d I said, through what felt like cotton balls in my mouth.\u00a0 \u201cHu\u2026hello?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMr. DeLe\u00f3n?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUh\u2026yes?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHold please.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d I asked, looking for a chair where I could sit myself down.\u00a0 \u201cHello?\u201d I said again.\u00a0 Then I remembered that the tinny female voice had said to hold.\u00a0 Pinning the receiver to the side of my face with my right shoulder, I reached for one of the dining table chairs and pulled it over to me.\u00a0 Sitting down, I felt a bit steadier.<\/p>\n \u201cMr. DeLe\u00f3n?\u201d Another female voice asked.<\/p>\n \u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThis is Doctor Rogers\u2019 nurse\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUh, OK.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, sir\u2026Doctor Rogers wanted to let you know that your wife gave birth this morning just after six.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh.\u201d\u00a0 I just didn\u2019t know what else to say.<\/p>\n \u201cMr. DeLe\u00f3n?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDid you understand what I said?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah\u2026Sharon had the baby.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes sir, that\u2019s correct\u2026a little after six today.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAll right.\u201d\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t sure what else I should be saying, but the thought that went through my head just then was that if these were normal circumstances I would probably be ecstatic.\u00a0 Probably.\u00a0 \u201cOK, so what happens now?\u201d I finally thought to ask.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I think what the important thing to tell you is this,\u201d the nurse continued, \u201cIf you\u2019re planning on visiting her this morning, the doctor suggested that maybe this afternoon, or maybe early evening would be better.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh?\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Is something wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I\u2019m not at liberty to discuss the particulars, but she didn\u2019t take to the procedure very well, I\u2019m afraid.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean, there were some problems with the delivery?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, not the delivery.\u00a0 Sir, I really can\u2019t discuss this with you.\u00a0 But I can tell you that she\u2019s presently under heavy sedation and is in no condition to receive any visitors.\u00a0 At least not for now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK, I don\u2019t understand.\u00a0 Is she OK, or not?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDr. Rogers, or the other resident will call you back with more details later today.\u00a0 Will you be at this number?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sure.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen the doctor decides she\u2019s up to seeing you, he\u2019ll call.\u00a0 Right now, he just wanted to let you know that she\u2019d given birth.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAll right.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK, sir.\u00a0 Someone will call you later.\u00a0 Goodbye now.\u201d<\/p>\n And she was gone.<\/p>\n I stood and hung up the phone.\u00a0 I sat there for a few minutes trying to understand what had just happened, when Brenda cracked open the bedroom door.<\/p>\n \u201cHey\u2026\u201d she said, eyes squinting and obviously in pain. \u201cWas that the phone?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo\u2026is everything OK?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUm\u2026kinda\u2026I think.\u00a0 That was the nurse.\u00a0 She said Sharon had given birth, but then told me not to plan on going to the hospital to visit her until I got a call later.\u00a0 Something must\u2019ve happened because she was under heavy sedation but she wouldn\u2019t tell me what was wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh God!\u00a0 I hope she\u2019s OK.\u00a0 What about the baby?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe baby?\u00a0 Oh\u2026I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I guess they must\u2019ve taken it away.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTaken away?\u00a0 What do you mean\u2014taken away?!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou know\u2014that\u2019s what Sharon wanted to have done.\u00a0 I thought you knew\u2026she signed papers to give the kid up for adoption.\u00a0 Shit, I had to sign them too\u2026something about my being the legal father.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWHAT?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou didn\u2019t know?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNO! No one knew!\u00a0 God damn her!\u201d\u00a0 And she slammed the door shut.<\/p>\n I staggered back to the couch and sat down.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know what to think.<\/p>\n Regret, Hysteria, and Pleas for Forgiveness<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n I spent the rest of the morning trying to sober up.\u00a0 Brenda came out of the bedroom wearing one of Sharon\u2019s robes and made a long trip to the bathroom.\u00a0 As much as it hurt for me to move too fast I decided that I should take advantage of Brenda\u2019s absence and go in to wake the boys.\u00a0 I seated them at the table and went into the kitchen to grab some milk and cereal.\u00a0 Just thinking of eating made my stomach quiver and roll.<\/p>\n Brenda finally came out, greeted and kissed the boys and said she was going to go get dressed.\u00a0 I told her that the doctor was going to call me later to let me know when I could go see Sharon, and Brenda suggested I call her when that happened.\u00a0 She also said she\u2019d come back and pick up the boys and keep them at her house while I went to the hospital.<\/p>\n \u201cAlso,\u201d she added, \u201cI guess I\u2019ll have to make some calls when I get home to cancel Ricky\u2019s party this weekend.\u201d<\/p>\n The word \u2018party\u2019 sunk slowly into my scotch-soaked brain.\u00a0 \u201cParty?\u00a0 Oh\u2026oh my God\u2014yes, his party!\u201d\u00a0 My hand flying to my head.<\/p>\n Ricky looked up from his cereal and asked, \u201cIs it my birthday yet, Aunt Brenda?\u201d\u00a0 Beebe stopped his spoon as he was guiding it into his mouth and yelled, \u201cParty!\u201d\u2014spitting Cheerios half-way across the table.<\/p>\n Brenda, quicker on the draw than I was, said, \u201cNo Ricky, not yet.\u00a0 Maybe tomorrow, or maybe the next day\u2014but not today.\u201d\u00a0 She looked up at me with pooched lips, made a sorrowful frown as she shook her head slowly.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah son, and Grandma and Grandpa DeLe\u00f3n sent you some presents from Houston.\u00a0 So when it\u2019s your birthday you can open them\u2014but not today.\u00a0 Is that OK?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUh-huh\u2026\u201d he said, slightly disappointed.\u00a0 \u201cWill I have cake too?\u201d<\/p>\n Beebe yelled out, \u201cCAKE!\u201d and spit more Cheerios out.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, everyone will have cake.\u201d I said.<\/p>\n As Brenda retreated back into the bedroom, I was left to ponder this deplorable fact:\u00a0 My wife had given birth to an illegitimate child on our son\u2019s birthday.\u00a0 Could this situation get any worse?\u00a0 Regrettably, it could\u2014and it did.<\/p>\n After Brenda left I took the boys into the bathroom and ran a hot bath for them.\u00a0 They were still at the age where they both played well together in the tub, and that came as a great relief for me.\u00a0 Anytime I bent down to adjust the water or to scrub their backs, I thought my head was going to explode, or I was going to throw up all over the bathroom.\u00a0 By the time they called out to me to tell me they were ready to get out of the tub I was beginning to feel a bit more human.<\/p>\n There didn\u2019t seem to be much food in the cupboards so after the boys were dressed I told them I was going to take a shower then we\u2019d all go to the store.\u00a0 That really seemed to get them excited.<\/p>\n After I showered and dressed, I was very disappointed when I tried to find clothes for them to wear for the trip to the store.\u00a0 A search of their small dresser yielded just a few t-shirts\u2014most of them in not very good shape, and a couple of pairs of old jeans and some too-small corduroy pants.\u00a0 I did the best I could and made sure that their little coats covered up the condition their shirts were in.<\/p>\n I still had some money left over from what my dad had given me so I tried to buy stuff that the boys seemed to like.\u00a0 Unfortunately, I wasn\u2019t able to get everything they wanted.\u00a0 We got home around noon and the boys decided that they wanted hot dogs for lunch.\u00a0 Still a little queasy from the night before, it took all my willpower to keep my stomach in check while preparing their lunch.<\/p>\n At about two-thirty, Ricky advised me that this was the time that mom insisted they go into their room for their nap.\u00a0 I was all for that, and thought that after they were down I would probably partake in that same activity on the couch.\u00a0 Just as I was getting myself comfy, the phone rang.<\/p>\n Thinking it might\u2019ve been Brenda, I made my best effort to sound cheery as I answered.\u00a0 Instead, it was the hospital.\u00a0 They told me that I should plan to visit my wife today, but not earlier than 6:30 pm that evening; also, that I should check in with the floor nurse before going to Sharon\u2019s room.\u00a0 I told them I\u2019d be there and asked if she was all right.\u00a0 The nurse on the phone sounded very evasive, and while ignoring my question repeated the instructions for my checking in when I arrived at the hospital.<\/p>\n I called Brenda and she suggested that I bring the boys over to her house so I wouldn\u2019t be rushed when I went to see Sharon.\u00a0 \u201cThey can stay the night here in case they want you to stay overnight with her, or something\u2026\u201d she mused.<\/p>\n \u201cI hope not.\u00a0 But I\u2019ll let you know one way or the other once I get there,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n I arrived at the hospital a few minutes early and decided to go into the gift shop to see if I could find something small to give Sharon when I saw her.\u00a0 Although I was still very uncomfortable and didn\u2019t quite know what to expect, I sure didn\u2019t want to make her feel any worse than she probably already did.\u00a0 I bought her a very non-committal get-well card, and a handful of pink and white flowers in a small crystal vase.\u00a0 Everything came to less than five-dollars, but I was getting close to being broke again.<\/p>\n Walking back into the lobby I looked for the check-in desk, and failing to find anything that looked like one, I opted to go to the information desk instead.\u00a0 The lady instructed me to take the elevator up to the maternity ward, and there would be someone there to check me in and direct me to my wife\u2019s room.<\/p>\n When the elevator door opened, the first thing I saw was a large glassed-in room that was full of infants in small light-blue and pink, round baskets.\u00a0 Each basket had a card displaying their names and date of birth.\u00a0 There were several men lined up, noses pressed to the glass\u2014most pointing and waving to the babies\u2014most of whom were sleeping.<\/p>\n To the right, I saw a large desk with a sign that said, \u201cNurse Station\u201d, so I turned and headed in that direction.\u00a0 There were several nurses, but they all seemed to be either reading, writing, or doing both, to clipboards that they each had in their hands.\u00a0 I stood there until one of them took notice.<\/p>\n \u201cCan I help you, sir?\u201d She asked me, suspending her note writing temporarily and looking at me in an almost cross manner.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, my name is Frank DeLe\u00f3n, and I was asked to check in before I\u2019m allowed to see my wife.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd, your wife\u2019s name is\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSharon\u2026Sharon DeLe\u00f3n.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh\u2026!\u201d\u00a0 A frown instantly overtook her previously annoyed expression.\u00a0 \u201cOh\u2026yes.\u00a0 Just a minute.\u201d\u00a0 Her body tensed a bit.\u00a0 \u201cJust wait right there.\u00a0 I\u2019ll get someone to help you.\u201d<\/p>\n She put the clipboard down and hurried out from behind the desk, heading down the hallway where I assumed the rooms were.\u00a0 She glanced back once, and quickened her pace.\u00a0 She ducked her head into a couple of rooms, then finally paused and entered one of them.<\/p>\n I quickly noticed that the rest of the nurses had mostly ceased the intense interest in their clipboards and were gazing surreptitiously, but intently, at me.\u00a0 I cleared my throat and tried to assume one of my most nonchalant poses.\u00a0 With the little vase of flowers and the card clutched in my hand, that was a tough thing to pull off.<\/p>\n A few minutes later, the nurse re-appeared\u2014this time with a doctor in tow.<\/p>\n \u201cMr. DeLe\u00f3n?\u201d\u00a0 Said the doctor, who looked like he\u2019d just graduated from high school.<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d\u00a0 He reached out shake my hand.<\/p>\n \u201cOK, we need to have just a little bit of a chat before we let you go in to see your wife, OK?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUh, sure.\u201d<\/p>\n He led me behind the nurse\u2019s station to a small office with just a desk and a couple of chairs.\u00a0 He motioned for me to sit to the side of the desk while he stood, leaning on the edge.<\/p>\n \u201cI think you need to know that your wife\u2019s had kind of a bad experience.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell frankly, I\u2019m not surprised.\u00a0 The baby\u2019s illegitimate, and she\u2019s given it up for adoption; so, I think that in itself is pretty bad.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m afraid it\u2019s a little worse than that.\u201d<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t know what else to say, but I started to get a really bad feeling about all of this.\u00a0 \u201cI guess you\u2019d better just tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou know that the procedure that she agreed to was to never see, touch, or even hear the child\u2019s first cries, right?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I didn\u2019t know it was that detailed.\u00a0 I just thought she wasn\u2019t supposed to see it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, that\u2019s true.\u00a0 But there was a bit of a glitch.\u00a0 Let me tell you what happened.\u00a0 Because the delivery was delayed until early this morning\u2026I think it was about three minutes after six when she gave birth, the team of nurses assisting had been changed out.\u00a0 The new team apparently wasn\u2019t briefed sufficiently\u2026at least the head assisting nurse wasn\u2019t\u2026and when Dr. Rogers delivered the child he handed it to that nurse to prep.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat means she was supposed to leave the delivery room with the child, go into the next room and do the prep, then take it away. \u00a0That way, your wife\u2014already a little bit sedated\u2014would not be aware of the child.\u00a0 Unfortunately, the nurse\u2014as I said before\u2014had not been briefed sufficiently, and instead of leaving the delivery room with the child, returned with it wrapped in a blanket and presented it to your wife.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, not only that\u2014but before Dr. Rogers was able to intervene, the nurse told your wife that she was the mother of a healthy baby boy!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK, so now she knows it was a boy.\u00a0 I don\u2019t see how that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMr. DeLe\u00f3n, do you understand what the term bonding means?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUh, well no, not really.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe mother\/child bonding process is very complicated, but it\u2019s also very personal.\u00a0 That\u2019s why it was forbidden for your wife to see or touch the child.\u00a0 The moment the nurse put the child on your wife\u2019s bosom she realized that that baby was hers\u2014and not someone else\u2019s.\u00a0 So she instantly bonded with the child.\u00a0 Understand?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, I think so.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cConsequently, when the mistake was corrected, and the child was taken away, your wife\u2026well, let\u2019s just say, she didn\u2019t take it very well.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, she immediately tried to get off the birthing table and chase after the nurse and child.\u00a0 She had to be restrained\u2014and ultimately sedated\u2026heavily.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh God.\u00a0 How is she now?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, we think that she will eventually accept that the child is gone forever, but that\u2019s really going to have a lot to do with you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMe?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u00a0 See, I\u2019ve been briefed on you and your wife\u2019s situation, and given the stress and guilt that she\u2019s been under for the entirety of her pregnancy, she was\u2026and is\u2026on the verge of a serious nervous breakdown.\u00a0 Add to all that the experience she went through this morning and, well\u2026I think you understand.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhere is she now?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s been placed on another floor, obviously away from the maternity floor, in a private room.\u00a0 For her safety, and the safety of our staff, she\u2019s physically restrained\u2026that is, her arms and legs are belted down and she\u2019s under moderate sedation.\u00a0 We lightened the amount of sedation to allow for your visit because we feel that you may have a calming effect on her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow so?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s extremely fragile right now\u2026mentally speaking\u2026and will have to be evaluated by one of the psychiatrists on our staff before we consider discharging her.\u00a0 But before that happens we\u2019d like to see how she relates to you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know what to say.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know it\u2019s tough on you, but I would ask that any animosity that you may feel for her right now be put aside.\u00a0 What she needs now is understanding and kindness.\u00a0 She\u2019s been through a lot, and I\u2019m afraid we didn\u2019t help in that regard.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCan I see her now?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, when you think you\u2019re ready.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI see you brought her a gift.\u00a0 That was thoughtful of you, but remember that in her condition she may not understand your motives.\u00a0 Regardless of what she says, just stay calm and be gentle with her.\u00a0 Can you do that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI think so.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGood.\u00a0 So, if you\u2019re ready we can go up to her floor now.\u201d<\/p>\n We walked out of the office, and under the nurses\u2019 veiled gazes and walked over to the bank of elevators.\u00a0 The doctor chose a floor two levels up, and in a few seconds the door opened.<\/p>\n This floor was very different from the one I\u2019d just left.\u00a0 While the maternity ward was painted and decorated in bright colorful tones, its walls plastered with cartoonish-like decals, this one was plain and almost colorless.\u00a0 Light gray walls, subdued lighting, and dark gray spongy carpet on the floor gave this level a feeling of quietness and restraint.\u00a0 It was so quiet one could hear the hissing of the heated air as it was being pushed out of the registers and into the hallway.<\/p>\n I was led to the center of the main hall and to a very different-looking nurses\u2019 station.\u00a0 The head nurse was seated behind a tall dais, and when we arrived she was speaking on the phone.\u00a0 Even though I was just a few feet from her I could not hear her voice.\u00a0 It was then I realized that something on this floor restricted sound from traveling as it normally would.\u00a0 It was as if the air was still and dead.<\/p>\n The nurse hung up the phone and focused her attention on us.<\/p>\n \u201cThis is Mr. DeLe\u00f3n, and he\u2019s here to visit his wife, Sharon.\u201d<\/p>\n The nurse stood and reached out to shake my hand.\u00a0 \u201cMr. DeLe\u00f3n\u2014you\u2019ve been made aware of your wife\u2019s condition, have you not?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes ma\u2019am.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFine.\u00a0 I\u2019ll escort you to her room but I may not enter.\u00a0 I see you have some flowers for her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, and a card.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, she may not be able to open the card today due to her restraints, but leave both items on the table next to her and we\u2019ll make sure she gets them when she\u2019s better.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo, when you walk in you will see that her arms and legs are tied down to the bed with leather straps.\u00a0 Don\u2019t be alarmed.\u00a0 They\u2019re there for her own safety.\u00a0 She\u2019s\u2026well\u2026 she\u2019s been flailing about quite a bit.\u00a0 You\u2019ll also see that her knees are raised and her legs spread apart under the sheet.\u00a0 We\u2019ve placed a type of heating lamp, and it\u2019s focused on her pelvic area.\u00a0 During the birth the doctor had to make an incision to accommodate the baby\u2019s head and shoulders, and the lamp helps dry the stitches.\u00a0 Because of her past violent movements she\u2019s already torn them out a couple of times.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe don\u2019t think she\u2019s in pain, except the small discomfort in her pelvic area, so don\u2019t be concerned with that.\u00a0 It\u2019s her mental state that is a little worrisome now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAll right.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m just telling you these things so you won\u2019t be confused when you see her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK.\u2019<\/p>\n \u201cNow, we\u2019re not sure how she\u2019ll react to your presence, but I\u2019ll be right outside the door in the event she gets violent.\u00a0 Under no conditions are you to attempt to remove her restraints.\u00a0 Is that clear?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK.\u00a0 Doctor,\u201d the nurse turned to the resident, \u201cdo you have anything further for Mr. DeLe\u00f3n?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I think you\u2019ve covered everything well.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just go ahead and return to my floor now\u2014there\u2019s no reason for me to be here any longer.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK, that\u2019s fine.\u00a0 Mr. DeLe\u00f3n, are you ready?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, I think so.\u201d\u00a0 She came out from behind the dais and motioned for me to follow her.\u00a0 She stopped in front of a very heavy-looking wide wood-grained door which she quietly pushed open and stepped aside.\u00a0 I walked in, and although the nurse had said she wasn\u2019t going to go into the room, I sensed her just behind me.<\/p>\n The room was small, just enough room for a bed, a small metal nightstand, and one chair.\u00a0 The curtains were pulled tight over the one window, even though a deep darkness had already descended on the city.<\/p>\n I saw Sharon in the bed right off my left.\u00a0 She was on her back, heard turned toward the window, arms splayed out to her sides, and she was lying very still.\u00a0 Her knees were drawn up and I could see a strong light reflecting between her legs under the sheet.\u00a0 That seemed to be the only thing in the room that was giving off light.<\/p>\n I couldn\u2019t see her face very well from the foot of the bed where I was standing, so I moved quietly to her right side, and glanced to see if she was sleeping. \u00a0The nurse tapped me on my left shoulder, momentarily startling me, and motioned for me to put the vase and flowers on the little metal table.\u00a0 I moved toward the table, being careful to place the vase softly on its surface to avoid making any noise.\u00a0 It was then that I was able to get a good look at her face.<\/p>\n Her eyes were closed, and although she appeared to be sleeping, she had a very pained expression on her face.\u00a0 I turned to see if I could pull the chair close to me so I could sit down, but the nurse was already quietly carrying it to me.\u00a0 She put the chair down, motioned for me to sit, and then she quietly stepped out of the room\u2014leaving the door slightly open.<\/p>\n I sat down and looked at Sharon closely.\u00a0 Her breathing seemed ragged, and she appeared to have aged overnight.\u00a0 The puffiness in her face had all but disappeared, but the circles under her eyes had darkened considerably.\u00a0 Her right arm jerked slightly, and that\u2019s when I noticed the strap around her wrist.<\/p>\n It was leather, about two inches wide, and the buckle appeared to be heavy gauge steel.\u00a0 Between the leather and her wrist there was a layer of what looked to be flannel\u2014apparently so that the edges of the strap wouldn\u2019t cut into her skin.<\/p>\n As angry and abysmally disappointed I\u2019d been with her after coming home, I couldn\u2019t help but feel a deep sorrow for what she was going through.\u00a0 After watching her for a few minutes, I found that I wanted to touch her and hold her hand.<\/p>\n Reaching slowly for her right hand I found that I could only grasp the tips of her fingers.\u00a0 As soon as we touched she turned her head toward me and opened her eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cOhhh\u2026Frank\u2026oh\u2026my love\u2026\u201d she whispered, and I saw that her lips were severely chapped and raw.<\/p>\n \u201cShh\u2026that\u2019s OK, everything\u2019s OK.\u201d\u00a0 I said, moving my other hand and placing it on top of hers.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t say anything…I\u2019ll be here for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOhhh, Frank\u2026!\u00a0 Ohhh\u2026my God\u2026what have I done\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNothing\u2026you\u2019ve done nothing.\u00a0 In a couple of days, I\u2019ll take you home and you\u2019ll\u2026everything\u2019ll be fine\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, no, no\u2026.oh God\u2026oh Frank,\u201d she whispered in a high tortured voice.\u00a0 \u201cIt was a boy, Frank\u2026a boy\u2026oh my God!\u00a0 And they took him away!!\u201d\u00a0 Her voice cracked, and a sob came ripping out from deep in her chest.\u00a0 \u201cOHHHH!\u00a0 MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE FRANK, WHAT HAVE I DONE?\u201d<\/p>\n The abruptness of her wail took me completely by surprise, and I found that she was squeezing my hand with almost superhuman strength.\u00a0 I looked down at my hand and saw that she was pulling up on the leather straps making the buckles rattle.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, hey\u2026\u201d I said, a little bit panicked. \u00a0\u201cTake it easy, everything\u2019s OK.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFrank, Frank, oh Frank.\u00a0 I\u2019m so, so, sorry for what I\u2019ve done.\u00a0 Please, please forgive me\u2014oh, I just want to kill myself!\u00a0 OH GOD!\u00a0 Frank!\u00a0 Do you still love me?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLook, everything\u2019s going to be OK, you\u2019ll see.\u00a0 Just think about getting better, OK?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNothing will ever be the same\u2014ever!\u00a0 I\u2019ve ruined our lives and the life of our sons\u2026and the baby\u2026oh, the baby! What have they done with my baby\u2026ooh\u2026.\u201d\u00a0 Her voice trailed off.<\/p>\n Suddenly she began viciously pulling up on the straps on her wrists; and by the way the bed was shaking I assumed she was also pulling up on her legs.\u00a0 She jerked her head off the pillow and the tendons in her neck stood out precariously\u2026her teeth clenched and her face was a mask of anger and frustration.<\/p>\n \u201cGOD FRANK!\u00a0 HELP ME TAKE THESE THINGS OFF!!\u201d\u00a0 She screamed hoarsely, \u201cHELP ME FOR GOD\u2019S SAKE!!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Sharon I can\u2019t\u2026I can\u2019t.\u00a0 You need to lay back down and relax, OK?\u201d\u00a0 I stood up and tried to push her back down onto the bed by her shoulders, but she was stiff as a board.<\/p>\n \u201cAre we having a little episode?\u201d\u00a0 I heard the nurse\u2019s voice behind me.<\/p>\n \u201cUNNG\u2026!\u00a0 GET…THESE\u2026THINGS\u2026OFF!!\u201d\u00a0 Sharon, grunted and I saw spittle running out of the side of her mouth.<\/p>\n I stood up as the nurse pulled me back and away from the edge of the bed.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, now, dear!\u201d she said, in a low sing-song voice, moving smoothly in front of me. \u00a0\u201cKeep this up and we\u2019ll have to put you back to sleep, won\u2019t we?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUNNG..!\u201d Sharon grunted.<\/p>\n I saw the nurse reach for a wire that was hung on the back of the bed.\u00a0 She pushed the button on the end.\u00a0 \u201cMister DeLe\u00f3n, could you step out for a few minutes, please?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUh\u2026sure,\u201d I said, not knowing what else to do or say.\u00a0 As I stepped back I realized that Sharon still had one of my hands in a vise-like grip.\u00a0 I carefully undid her fingers and pulled my hand away.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll just wait out in the hallway.\u201d\u00a0 As I turned towards the door, I saw it open.\u00a0 A male nurse, carrying a large syringe hurriedly stepped in.\u00a0 I went out into the hallway and pulled the door closed behind me.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n The female nurse came out a few minutes later and told me that I could go back in and see Sharon for just a few more minutes.<\/p>\n \u201cThe sedative should be kicking in pretty soon; then she\u2019ll be out for a few hours.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow long is she going to be this way?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n \u201cHard to tell, but we\u2019ll know more tomorrow.\u00a0 The staff psychiatrist will be here for an evaluation. \u00a0So for now, say goodnight to her and then come back tomorrow evening.\u00a0 I\u2019ll make sure the doctor calls you beforehand so you\u2019ll know what to expect.\u00a0 She just needs to get over this, then she\u2019ll be all right.\u00a0 It\u2019ll probably be just a couple of more days.\u201d<\/p>\n I walked back in and Sharon was lying on her back, her head turned away from me.\u00a0 I walked up to the side of the bed and touched her shoulder.\u00a0 I could see that her eyes were open, but she appeared to be again staring at the closed and curtained window.<\/p>\n \u201cHey\u2026I\u2019ll try to come back tomorrow to see you, OK?\u201d<\/p>\n No answer, and I saw beads of sweat and a non-stop trail of tears rolling onto the wrinkled pillowcase.\u00a0 Her breathing seemed extremely erratic.<\/p>\n \u201cOK, I\u2019m gonna go now, but I\u2019ll be back, OK?\u201d I said, hoping that she was hearing me.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t move.<\/p>\n Taking a deep breath, I turned and walked back out of the room.\u00a0 The nurse put her hand on my shoulder and said, \u201cShe\u2019ll be a little better tomorrow, you\u2019ll see.\u00a0 Now you go home and get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n I wanted to tell her I wasn\u2019t tired, but instead just shook my head and headed down the hallway.<\/p>\n Walking out of the building and into the parking lot I felt more confused than anything else, and I felt like I was going to burst into tears.\u00a0 Up until the moment I had seen her in that state, I had pretty much made up my mind about what I was going to do.\u00a0 Now\u2014I wasn\u2019t so sure.\u00a0 I reflected on how helpless and how tortured she seemed, and I wondered if the plans I\u2019d made would eventually drive her over the edge.\u00a0 I decided that what I needed now was a drink and some time to think.<\/p>\n When I got home I called Brenda and partially filled her in on Sharon\u2019s condition.\u00a0 I left out the part about the restraints.\u00a0 She suggested keeping the boys until the next day because they had already had dinner and were getting ready to go to bed.\u00a0 I agreed, my mind set on that little bar I\u2019d seen just down the street.<\/p>\n After having a few drinks and trying to think things over, I found that I had not changed my mind at all.\u00a0 As sorry as I felt about Sharon, I concluded that she\u2019d done what she\u2019d done all on her own\u2014and I just couldn\u2019t see myself trusting her ever again.<\/p>\n About an hour later, I got back to the house and headed for the couch.\u00a0 Just before falling into a deep, dreamless, sleep, I made some tentative plans for the next few days.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u00a0I called Brenda when I woke up the next morning and asked her if she could keep the boys with her for the next couple of days\u2014or at least until Sharon got home.\u00a0 I told her I just wasn\u2019t up to looking after them\u2014and besides, the hospital could call me anytime and ask that I return to the hospital.\u00a0 Further, I had no idea how long they were going to keep her there.\u00a0 From what I saw, it could be weeks.<\/p>\n My concerns also included my eventual return to Okinawa.\u00a0 In order to make it back before being declared AWOL (Absent without Leave), I would have to leave no later than October 3rd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Not knowing when Sharon was going to be discharged put me in a real bind.\u00a0 Since I had no way of contacting my commander, I would just have to play it by ear and see what happened.<\/p>\n I got no calls from the hospital the following day, nor did I hear from them on Thursday.\u00a0 I finally made a call to inquire about my wife\u2019s condition and to ask about a discharge date.\u00a0 After being put on hold and transferred several times to different floors, I finally found myself speaking to Doctor Rogers.<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019ll be ready to go home tomorrow.\u201d he said abruptly.<\/p>\n \u201cTomorrow?\u00a0 Friday?\u201d I asked, a little bit surprised.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Friday.\u00a0 I\u2019ll check on the exact discharge time, but I\u2019m assuming she\u2019ll be ready to go sometime after ten in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh\u2026uh\u2026so, she\u2019s OK now?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I don\u2019t know her exact condition, but I\u2019m assuming she\u2019s better now.\u00a0 The doctor will be prescribing some medications for her before she leaves.\u00a0 One for any post-discharge infection and the others to help stabilize her mental state.\u00a0 But, to allay any of your concerns, she seems to understand now what her situation is\u2014so, she should be much calmer.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK, so I can just go up there around ten and she\u2019ll be ready?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShould be.\u00a0 But, why don\u2019t you call around nine and ask for the discharge nurse.\u00a0 That way, if something happens you won\u2019t make a trip for nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK.\u00a0 Should I get anything for her for when she comes home?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, nothing special.\u00a0 She\u2019s still a bit weak and will be on bed rest for a few days, but besides that she should be good to go.\u00a0 No special diet or anything like that\u2014just make sure she takes her medications.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK.\u201d<\/p>\n The following morning, a brightly sunlit but bitterly cold day, I called the hospital and after receiving assurances that Sharon was indeed ready for discharge, I got in the car for the short drive and pulled into the same circle driveway as I had a few nights ago.\u00a0 Sharon was sitting, just outside the sliding door, in a wheelchair.\u00a0 Bundled up against the cold blustery wind, she was wearing the red coat I\u2019d first seen her in at the Reno airport.\u00a0 A green hospital blanket was wrapped around her legs and on her feet were a beige pair of hospital-issued footies.\u00a0 A male attendant was standing behind her steadying the wheelchair against the wind.<\/p>\n I got out of the car and walked up to her.\u00a0 She looked up, eyes squinting against the sunlight, and smiled weakly.\u00a0 I looked down, and saw that in her hands she was tightly clutching the card and the little vase of flowers that I brought her.\u00a0 Before I could say anything, the attendant handed me a clipboard and asked me to sign the form that was attached, but flapping crazily in the wind.\u00a0 After I returned the clipboard, he placed it into a pouch on the back of the wheelchair and proceeded to roll Sharon towards the car.\u00a0 He handed me a small white bag with three small bottles full of pills.<\/p>\n After I opened the door, I helped lift her off the chair and into the seat.\u00a0 As I began to pull out of the driveway, Sharon looked at me and said, \u201cThanks for coming to pick me up.\u201d\u00a0 I noted how hoarse her voice was.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, no problem\u2026\u201d I responded, not sure why she was thanking me.<\/p>\n The rest of the trip back home was accomplished in complete silence.<\/p>\n Once I got her into the house, I helped her into her bedroom and onto the bed.\u00a0 She seemed to be very weak and in some pain.\u00a0 The night before, I\u2019d washed the sheets and made the bed in preparation for her return, and I had also tried to straighten up the room as well as I could\u2014making sure her closet doors were closed.\u00a0 After propping her head up on a couple of pillows I asked her if she was hungry or wanted some water.<\/p>\n \u201cOh\u2026maybe, if you don\u2019t mind, could I have some soup?\u00a0 I\u2019m a little hungry.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t eat breakfast this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure, I can get that for you in just a few minutes.\u00a0 You want some crackers too?\u00a0 I went to the store the other day and got some, among other things.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, that was so sweet of you.\u00a0 Yes, crackers would be good.\u201d<\/p>\n I walked out of the room and went to the kitchen to prepare her meal.<\/p>\n While waiting for the soup to warm up I tried to think of what I should say to her.\u00a0 There was just so much we needed to discuss, but with my impending departure\u2014and her just getting home\u2014the timing was extremely awkward.\u00a0 By the time I walked back into her bedroom with soup and crackers on a tray, I had decided to not say anything for awhile.\u00a0 She, however, had apparently come to a different conclusion.<\/p>\n As I finished helping her prop herself up on the bed and positioning the tray on her lap, I asked if she needed anything else.\u00a0 She took a deep breath, looked at me wide-eyed, and whispered hoarsely, \u201cForgiveness.\u201d<\/p>\n This took me so much by surprise that I could only stand there holding the paper napkin in my hand\u2014truly, not knowing what to do or what to say.\u00a0 Her eyes filled and overflowed with tears, and her lower lip began quivering uncontrollably.\u00a0 Her chest heaving, she looked at me pleadingly\u2014longingly\u2014her head cocked slightly, and she whispered: \u201cOh\u2026please, Frank.\u00a0 I\u2019m so sorry.\u00a0 So\u2026so sorry\u2026But\u2026but, please\u2026oh\u2026please forgive me and don\u2019t leave me.\u00a0 I love you so much\u2026I don\u2019t know what I\u2019d do if you were to leave me\u2026oh God\u2026I\u2019m so lost\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n She managed to say these words between choking sobs.\u00a0 Her hands suddenly flew to her chest, as if she was afraid her heart was going to come flying out, and her fingers tightened into tight little white fists.\u00a0 As the sleeves of the light blue sweater she was wearing fell away, I saw the mean black and blue bruises on her paper-white wrists where the leather cuffs had dug in during her post-partum ordeal.\u00a0 No longer able to restrain herself, she completely surrendered to her emotions and broke into loud heart-rending sobs.\u00a0 I had never seen anyone cry so bitterly, and it affected me profoundly.<\/p>\n No longer able to contain myself, I muttered, \u201cI\u2019ll be right back\u2026\u201d, and walked quickly out of the room\u2014closing the door softly behind me.\u00a0 I made it as far as the dining room table and collapsed onto one of the chairs.\u00a0 I buried my head in my arms and, without being able to stop myself, gave in to my own emotions.<\/p>\n All the pain, all the hurt, and all the disappointment that had been building in me for almost a year came flooding up and completely overwhelmed me.\u00a0 My eyes burned as my own tears poured out and my throat ached painfully as my own sobs racked my body.\u00a0 The bitter sentiment that pained me the most was that I knew, deep down in my heart, what I would have to do.\u00a0 And, the result of that decision would not only tear us apart, it would keep me from seeing my boys grow into young men.\u00a0 The sweet love that had been born in our young and innocent hearts just a few years ago in that little town in Nevada had now been ripped out, pounded into dust, and laid asunder by forces and circumstances that neither of us had seen coming.\u00a0 And the heartbreaking thought that cut deep into my very core at that moment, and on that table, was knowing that we would never, ever again, be husband and wife.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n On Saturday, October 1st<\/sup>, 1966, a small birthday party was held for my son Ricky to celebrate his 4th<\/sup> birthday, and of the children that had been invited from the neighborhood, only three showed up.\u00a0 The lack of attendance didn\u2019t seem to bother him though–he being more interested in the gifts that he received.<\/p>\n Brenda and Sherry, with their children also attended, and for me it was a bittersweet experience spending time with both of them.\u00a0 Sharon had mostly recovered, at least physically, and although she put on a happy face during the party, I could see the sadness deep in her eyes.<\/p>\n After the party, and after everyone left, the boys went outside to play with Ricky\u2019s new toys and I helped Sharon clean up.\u00a0 Afterwards, she retired to her bedroom and I retreated to the couch.\u00a0 I sat there for the longest time trying to build up enough courage to tell her what I needed to say.\u00a0 Finally, deciding that there would never be a better time, I got up and knocked on her door.<\/p>\n She was in bed and had been reading a book when I stepped in quietly.\u00a0 She smiled and thanked me for helping make Ricky\u2019s party enjoyable.\u00a0 I sat on the foot of the bed and asked her if she wanted to talk.\u00a0 Her only response was a barely perceivable nod.\u00a0 I asked if she had anything she wanted to tell me before I said what I had to say.\u00a0 She said that she really didn\u2019t have anything to say except that she didn\u2019t want me to leave her.<\/p>\n I nodded, and took a deep breath.\u00a0 As I began to talk she crossed her hands on her lap and lowered her head.\u00a0 I began by telling her that I had decided to leave Reno the following day and return to Okinawa, because there was no longer anything else I could do here.\u00a0 I also advised her that before leaving Okinawa, I had sought out legal assistance to determine my rights in light of what I had learned after reading what she\u2019d written in the only letter she\u2019d sent to me in almost a year.\u00a0 Then I told her that, although it would break my heart, I had made the decision to file for divorce once I arrived back at my base.<\/p>\n I continued, and said that although I truly forgave her for her indiscretions, and I still loved her very much, the past, current, and future circumstances made it impossible for me to want to continue our marriage; especially in light of our having to be separated from each other at least the next few months.<\/p>\n My trust in her, I said, which had already been shaken severely back in Olathe, had finally been completely decimated by her illegitimate pregnancy.\u00a0 For the rest of my life, I would always wonder where she was, and who she was with, when late coming home from some errand in which she had been delayed by a perfectly innocent reason.\u00a0 I would constantly be on edge if the phone were to ring, and once I answered, the party hung up.\u00a0 And lastly, I was ashamed to think that I would forever be considered to be, by all those who knew, an object of derision and referred to as the cuckolded husband.<\/p>\n Perhaps it was selfish for me to think of my feelings in this regard, but it was more than I could ever bear.\u00a0 Better for both of us to go our separate ways and forge new relationships than to remain together and forever have this incident sitting conspicuously between us.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not asking you to agree with me, nor do I expect you to understand why I just don\u2019t let bygones be bygones.\u00a0 It just is what it is.\u00a0 I know myself well enough to understand that I will never recover that deep sense of trust that I once had for you\u2014and without that trust I know that our marriage is doomed.\u00a0 I\u2019m so sorry, but I can\u2019t see us in my future any longer.\u00a0 My one and only regret is that I will forever lose the joy of seeing my sons grow up.\u00a0 I only ask that you try to be a good mother to them and to shield them from the harm that this incident may bring their way.<\/p>\n As for me, I will try\u2014in my limited capacity\u2014to be a good, but distant father.\u00a0 In the end, our sons will end up as the grand losers in all of this.\u00a0 And if I knew of any other way to resolve this without condemning the boys to a life of living with only one parent, I would.\u00a0 But sadly, I can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n With that, I stood up and walked out of her bedroom.<\/p>\n That evening I called and made civilian air reservations for my flight out of Reno to Oakland for the following day.\u00a0 From there, I would use military transportation to return to my base.<\/p>\n Sharon did not come out of her bedroom for the rest of the evening, and I called the boys in once it got dark.\u00a0 After changing their clothes, I took them out for a fast food hamburger dinner before bringing them home and seeing them for the last time.<\/p>\n In the morning I got up, showered and changed into my uniform.\u00a0 I called a cab, and twenty minutes later I was on my way to the airport.\u00a0 Two days later I was back at my base in Naha, Okinawa.<\/p>\n The End<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n Epilogue<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n When I returned to Okinawa I proceeded with my divorce from Sharon.\u00a0 In a matter of weeks, I received the final signed papers, and I was again single.<\/p>\n My five dear friends were all very supportive and helped me through the expected ups and downs\u2014but especially during those moments when my resolve weakened because I thought I may not have done the right thing.<\/p>\n But, one by one, those wonderful, loyal friends began to leave Okinawa for one reason or another, and by the end of 1966 they were all gone. \u00a0I was the only one left, rooming alone in that big noisy barracks.<\/p>\n Nat had had enough of the Air Force and decided to take his discharge and return to Philadelphia.\u00a0 He married his high school sweetheart and went to work for the Federal Aviation Administration, as a civilian Air Traffic Controller.<\/p>\n Smokey also took his discharge in early December and returned to his home in Minneapolis.\u00a0 Once there, he found that while he\u2019d been on Okinawa, his wife had been carrying on a torrid affair with his best friend.\u00a0 After beating her to within an inch of her life and spending over a month in jail, he divorced her.\u00a0 After one letter, I never heard from him again.<\/p>\n Roomie, Ramie and Peewee all received orders from Army Headquarters reassigning them to combat positions in Vietnam.\u00a0 Within a few weeks of my returning to Okinawa in October, they had all been transferred out; one by one, Roomie being the last to go.<\/p>\n In late December of 1966, I heard that their old commanding officer who was still assigned to the Army side of the Air Defense Center had received some tragic news.\u00a0 All three of my friends had been killed within days of each other\u2014even though they were all at different bases. \u00a0Roomie and Ramie had each died of small arms sniper fire while on patrol near Danang, and Peewee had been killed when a Vietcong soldier, dressed as a farmer, threw a hand grenade into his jeep just outside of Saigon.<\/p>\n I wondered just how much more heartbreak I could take.<\/p>\n In February of 1967, I was promoted to staff sergeant and became eligible for off-base housing.\u00a0 Despite not having a family on the island, I was allowed to rent a small two-room Okinawan house located just outside of the base\u2019s south gate.\u00a0 I lived there until I got married and was reassigned to Bergstrom Air Force Base in Austin, Texas, in January of 1968.<\/p>\n 1972<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n In May of 1972, I saw my sons for the first time since my divorce.\u00a0 Sharon had eventually married a man named Kip, and was still living in Reno with him; and I, also now remarried, had been working as an Air Traffic Controller in Houston with the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) since 1969.\u00a0 As fate would have it, I had married that rude little Okinawan girl who used to work the snack counter in my barracks at Naha Air Base.\u00a0 Her name was Kazumi, and she turned out not to be that rude after all.<\/p>\n After requesting an overseas assignment to an FAA facility on the island of Guam in 1971, I was finally approved to go in late April of 1972.\u00a0 I told my wife, Kaz, (my nickname for her), that on our way to California on the way to drop our car off for shipping to Guam, I wanted to make a side trip to Reno to see the boys.\u00a0 She thought that would be a good idea and readily agreed.\u00a0 I got Sharon\u2019s phone number from my parents and called her to ask if I could spend an afternoon with the boys.<\/p>\n We drove into Reno on a sunny and warm day in early May and checked into a hotel.\u00a0 I left Kaz there for the day and drove to pick up the boys at Sharon\u2019s house.\u00a0 We spent the afternoon at an amusement park, and the early evening went to a movie the boys wanted to see.\u00a0 After dropping them back off at Sharon\u2019s house around seven, I returned to the hotel where my I\u2019d left my wife.\u00a0 The next day we continued our drive to the shipping docks of St. Pedro, California to turn our car in for shipment to Guam.<\/p>\n 1978<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n I had now been on Guam for six and a half years, and had been promoted to Air Traffic Training Officer in 1976.\u00a0 In early 1978, I had submitted a bid for a vacant Military Liaison Specialist position at the Honolulu Air Route Traffic Control Center, on Oahu, Hawaii, and had finally been notified of my selection in May of that year.\u00a0 My reporting date was set for October 31st<\/sup>.<\/p>\n On September 9, 1978, about a month before my departure to Hawaii, I received an unexpected phone call from Sharon.\u00a0 The call came as Kaz, the kids, and I had just finished a late dinner at our home in Perez Acres, in Yigo, Guam.\u00a0 We were clearing the dishes when the phone rang.\u00a0 I answered, and heard a very weak female voice on the other end.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t understand what she was saying, so I asked her to speak up.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, OK.\u201d she said, a bit louder, \u201cFrank, this is Sharon.\u00a0 I\u2019m calling you from Reno.\u00a0 Can you hear me OK now?\u201d<\/p>\n I was momentarily shocked.\u00a0 \u201cSharon!?\u201d<\/p>\n Kaz, who was cleaning off the dinner dishes, looked up suddenly with a quizzical look on her face.\u00a0 She mouthed the name, \u201cSharon?\u201d\u00a0 <\/em>I nodded yes.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, Sharon!\u00a0 Hey, how are you?\u201d\u00a0 I could not imagine why she should be calling me.\u00a0 \u201cIs everything OK?\u00a0 I mean with the boys?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh yes, the boys are fine, and they send their love.\u00a0 Listen, I\u2019m sorry for calling you, but\u2026what time is it over there?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUh, it\u2019s a little after nine in the evening, on Saturday.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I hope I\u2019m not calling too late.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, no that\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI won\u2019t keep you long, but I just need to tell you something very important.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, there\u2019s no way to sugar-coat this, so here goes.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been diagnosed with breast cancer.\u00a0 And, uh\u2026it\u2019s apparently very advanced.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s a little funny because, I don\u2019t know if you remember when we were married I once told you that if I ever got breast cancer I\u2019d just have to die.\u00a0 Do you remember that?\u201d<\/p>\n Unfortunately, I did\u2014and I was thinking just that when I heard the words, \u2018breast cancer\u2019.\u00a0 \u201cYes, I do\u201d.<\/p>\n \u201cWell\u2026\u201d she paused for such a long time that I thought the call had been disconnected. \u201cUh\u2026there\u2019s no other way to say this, but the doctors tell me I have stage 4, and only have about nine months to live.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u00a0 Oh, my God!!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, crazy huh?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026no!\u00a0 My God Sharon, could they be wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh God.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, well anyway, that\u2019s not the main reason I called.\u00a0 I need to know that when I finally pass if you\u2019re willing to take the boys.\u00a0 I mean, to live with you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMy God, Sharon\u2026of course.\u00a0 They are my sons\u2026of course!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, thank God.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut excuse me for asking, your husband\u2026?\u00a0 He\u2026he, doesn\u2019t want\u2026you know, custody?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, he doesn\u2019t.\u00a0 He says they belong with their father and he doesn\u2019t want anything to do with them after I\u2019m gone.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, of course. \u00a0He\u2019s right.\u00a0 When are you planning to send them over here?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh no.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have any plans to do that until\u2026you know\u2026when I\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I know\u2014sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI just wanted to make sure you were good with them returning to their father.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course.\u00a0 And maybe this will all be unnecessary\u2026you know\u2026 the diagnosis may be wrong after all.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, that\u2019s so nice of you to say.\u00a0 But no.\u00a0 It\u2019s not wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt was so nice hearing your voice, Frank.\u00a0 Thank you so much.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be in touch, bye.\u201d<\/p>\n And the line went dead.\u00a0 I stood there, wondering if what I\u2019d heard was real.\u00a0 Kaz came up and asked what the call was about.\u00a0 After we put the kids to bed we stayed up late talking about this and planning what we would do.<\/p>\n The following month, I completed the purchase of a new Lincoln Town car that I\u2019d made through the military auto purchase program on Guam.\u00a0 I had decided to fly from Guam to Houston (to visit my folks), then to Dearborn, Michigan, to take delivery of my new car.\u00a0 I then planned to drive it back to California and have it shipped directly to Hawaii, so it would be there when I arrived to start my new job.\u00a0 On the drive from Michigan to California, I decided to call Sharon and tell her that I wanted to pass through Reno and visit the boys for a day.\u00a0 She thought that would be a great idea and gave me directions to the house they now lived in.<\/p>\n When I drove in to Reno, I stopped at a phone booth to ask her if I it was convenient for me to drop by and pick up the boys.\u00a0 She told me it would be fine, and that the boys were anxious to see me.\u00a0 As I pulled up to the address she\u2019d given me I saw an old lady sitting on a lawn chair on the front lawn of the house.\u00a0 I assumed it was probably Sharon\u2019s mother-in-law, and I casually waved hello as I walked up the concrete walkway leading to the front door of the house.<\/p>\n To my surprise, the old lady called out my name.\u00a0 I stopped, a bit shocked, and took a closer look.\u00a0 It was then that I saw it was Sharon.\u00a0 She was frighteningly emaciated, skin hanging off her arms and face, and scraggly wisps of hair sticking out of the cheap scarf she\u2019d wrapped tightly around her head.\u00a0 Had it not been for the distinctive shape of her nose, I would have never recognized her.<\/p>\n \u201cFrank!\u00a0 She rasped weakly, \u201cIt\u2019s me\u2026Sharon.\u00a0 Come here.\u00a0 Let me take a look at you.\u201d<\/p>\n I stepped off the walk and onto the thin lawn. I saw that the cancer had taken its toll on her and I could only wonder how much longer she could hold on.<\/p>\n She smiled weakly and told me how well I looked.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve always been so handsome, but as you\u2019ve gotten older you\u2019ve really turned into a great-looking man.\u201d<\/p>\n I thanked her and attempted to return the compliment.\u00a0 \u201cWell, you know, you look really good yourself,\u201d I lied, embarrassed that I couldn\u2019t think of anything better to say.<\/p>\n 1979<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n Almost exactly ten months later, I received another call from Sharon.\u00a0 By this time, I was already in Honolulu, in a house I\u2019d purchased from an air traffic controller who\u2019d taken reassignment back to the mainland.\u00a0 The house was located in an exclusive area named Hawaii Kai.<\/p>\n Prior to leaving Guam, Kaz had decided not to accompany me to Hawaii right away, as she was deeply involved with the management position she had with a large company on Guam, Duty Free Shoppers.\u00a0 <\/em>She kept the kids, as Ken was doing well in school, and Christine was still too young to travel.<\/p>\n Sharon\u2019s call caught me by surprise one afternoon while I was in my office at work.\u00a0 My secretary buzzed me and said there was a call from a Sharon waiting on line one.<\/p>\n \u201cHello?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHi Frank, it\u2019s me, Sharon.\u201d\u00a0 Her voice was raspy and very, very weak.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, hi.\u00a0 How are you?\u201d<\/p>\n Oh, not too good, but better than expected.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, OK.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLook, I need to ask you a favor.\u00a0 I know we talked last year about the boys, and I was wondering if you\u2019re willing to take one of them now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTake one\u2026now?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, here\u2019s the problem: I am not doing real well, having to get oxygen treatments often, and doing my chemo, and unfortunately, the boys are not behaving very well.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThey are constantly fighting and at each other\u2019s throats.\u00a0 Kip, my husband, is at his wit\u2019s end, and neither he nor I can control them anymore.\u00a0 I need to have them separated.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I see.\u00a0 That\u2019s terrible, but how do you propose to do this?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, if you take one of them now\u2014that is, fly him to where you live now in Hawaii, then that would really solve my problem.\u00a0 Can you do that?\u00a0 Do you have room at your house?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, the room is no problem.\u00a0 My wife decided not to come to Hawaii right away, and I live in a two-story, four-bedroom home over here.\u00a0 So, yes\u2014I have plenty of room.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGreat.\u00a0 Which boy do you want to fly over?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUh\u2026Sharon\u2026I can\u2019t make that decision from over here.\u00a0 Who do you suggest?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, frankly I\u2019d prefer that you take Rick.\u00a0 I can pretty much control Beebe, but Rick has just been a handful.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK, that\u2019s fine with me.\u201d<\/p>\n Since it was summer vacation, both boys were out of school.\u00a0 When Rick flew in to Hawaii a couple of weeks later I was ecstatic and anxious to see him.\u00a0 Although we\u2019d not seen each other for several years, we seemed to hit it off just fine.<\/p>\n At 4:40 am on Thanksgiving morning, November 22, 1979, as I was getting ready to go to work, the phone rang.\u00a0 It was Kip\u2014Sharon\u2019s husband.\u00a0 He told me that Sharon had passed away a few hours earlier after being rushed to the hospital.\u00a0 Before I could express my condolences he abruptly asked me how soon I could arrange to have Beebe flown to my home in Hawaii.\u00a0 I told him I could probably get him a ticket for the following weekend.\u00a0 He seemed pleased and told me he\u2019d call me back as soon as the funeral arrangements for Sharon were made.\u00a0 His plans were to put him on an airplane the day after she was buried.<\/p>\n When she died, Sharon was 34 years, 7 months, and 18 days old.<\/p>\n The night before we knew of Sharon\u2019s passing, I had discussed with Ricky that after I got off work on Thanksgiving afternoon I would let him choose the restaurant where we\u2019d eat our Thanksgiving Day meal.\u00a0 Now, instead of looking forward to enjoying a turkey dinner, I was filled with dread knowing that as soon as I got home I\u2019d have to tell him about his mother.<\/p>\n When I arrived home I saw that he was ironing a pair of shorts and a new Hawaiian shirt that I\u2019d bought for him after he\u2019d arrived on the island.\u00a0 I asked him to sit down and listen because I had some news I needed to share with him.<\/p>\n Afterwards, I said I would leave it up to him to decide how we spent the rest of the evening.\u00a0 If he just wanted to stay home and mourn his mom that would fine with me.\u00a0 He thought about it for a few seconds and said that he\u2019d prefer we continued on with our plans.\u00a0 \u201cI knew she was going to die, and although I\u2019m sad, I\u2019m happy she\u2019s finally at rest.\u00a0 She\u2019d been suffering a lot before I left,\u201d he said, sagely.<\/p>\n The following weekend, on a Sunday evening, Ricky and I drove to the Honolulu Airport to pick up his brother, Beebe.\u00a0 For the next year, the boys and I lived contentedly on the island.\u00a0 They learned to surf, experimented with various Hawaiian dishes, had girlfriends, and enjoyed conversing in the local dialect.\u00a0 In 1980, we returned to Houston where I resumed my career as an air traffic controller.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n OK, that\u2019s it.\u00a0 So, are you\u2019re wondering if all my future adventures have been as stimulating as those which I experienced when I was younger?\u00a0 Well, the answer to that is, yes and no.\u00a0 My life, from 1980 up to this point, has been no different than what most people experience: moments of dead boredom interrupted by periods of sheer terror, with months of sadness, broken by weeks of happiness.<\/p>\n But this has been my life; and all these experiences that you\u2019ve been reading about made me who I am: not good, not bad\u2014just me.<\/p>\n FDL, Shawnee, Kansas\u2014February 2017<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Okinawa Part Seven September-October 1966 \u00a0 The Event, Interrupted Right after the Johnny Carson interview with Hubert Humphrey, the Democrat candidate for President, I must\u2019ve fallen asleep in the big overstuffed chair, despite waiting anxiously for Claudia Cardinale\u2019s turn on Johnny\u2019s couch.\u00a0 I heard a voice coming from faraway calling my name\u2014softly at … Continue reading Okinawa – Part Seven<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-865","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/frankdeleon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/865","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/frankdeleon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/frankdeleon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/frankdeleon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/frankdeleon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=865"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/frankdeleon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/865\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":866,"href":"https:\/\/frankdeleon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/865\/revisions\/866"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/frankdeleon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=865"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/frankdeleon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=865"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/frankdeleon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=865"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}