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Metamorphosis

Metamorphosis

 

Frank Heads West

 

Ten minutes after pulling out of the downtown terminal, the thirty-five-seat Vista-Liner bus was smoothly cruising westbound on US90 towards San Antonio.  Although it was a bit smaller than Greyhound’s vaunted Scenicruiser, the German manufactured Kässboher model VL100’s ride was buttery soft—its powerful Detroit Diesel 8V-71 effortlessly pushing the sleek aluminum alloy body up the gently sloping landscape toward Texas hill country.

In addition to the twelve newly minted Air Force recruits, about ten other folks had boarded the bus in Houston; most probably heading to San Antonio but surely a few with final destinations even further west.  Since there were a few seats to spare most of us chose to sit by ourselves—each sinking into our own world of uncertainty and fear.

During the haste and confusion of the enlistment process earlier in the day no one had found the time or opportunity to introduce himself to one other, and now seated quietly in the dimly-lit bus in our high-backed upholstered seats, most of us alone and staring out the window, it seemed that there really was no opportunity to do so.

As the softly growling diesel pushed us further west, the night’s deep darkness quietly wrapped itself around the bus, its inky black sheath pierced by the rumbling coach’s bright twin beam headlights.  On either side, far in the distance, the night’s murkiness was randomly perforated by the star-like twinkling of thousands of sentinel porch lights, silently guarding their otherwise unlit homesteads.

Fighting off a growing drowsiness, my forehead resting comfortably on the cool window glass, I let my mind wander, soon finding itself dredging up those ephemeral memories of events that had ultimately put me on this bus.  I came to the shocking conclusion that the determination that had pushed me to go through with this enlistment astounded me as much as it probably did everyone else that knew me in those days.

But what no one could ever know, or feel, was the bitter disappointment and crushing disillusionment that had grown within me due to my parents’ almost dogmatic dedication to the Pentecostal church, and particularly its flawed leadership.  Add to that their ever-escalating and most violent verbal quarrels, and my mother’s sudden obsession with extracting her pound of flesh—one dollar at a time—for having given birth to me, pretty much convinced me that something drastic had to happen.

Since my graduation from high school I saw that I was going nowhere fast; if I didn’t make a move to change my circumstances I would end up living my life out in this ghetto neighborhood.  Somehow I just couldn’t (and wouldn’t) picture myself married to some ever-pregnant neighborhood girl, surrounded by a covey of snotty, whining ragamuffin brats, and spending my free time drinking cheap beer while sitting on the porch in a pair of dirty khakis and a grayed-out “wife-beater” undershirt.

The frustration I was feeling knowing that I had no future there finally took its toll on me, and as I turned eighteen that August of 1960, I found I just couldn’t take it anymore.  So without fully realizing the enormity of the decision I was about to make, I began to make plans to leave home forever.  The day that I decided to put my future into my own hands will forever exist to me as a seminal moment in time; I will always remember this “fork in the road” event as the defining moment when my life changed forever.

As far back as I could remember I had always followed, without question, the decisions made by my parents.  I had never been a rebellious kid, not even during those terrible hormone-filled early teen years when parents and their offspring typically square off as the hardwired ideologies of their two very different generations clash noisily as they grind by each other.  Since I had been sociologically quarantined in a religiously induced “time-out” during those particular years, not only did I not have much of an ideology, sadly it would take me a few more years to finally develop one.  Consequently, by the time I reached the “age of consent” I was several years behind my peer group in social development, and not really equipped to face the pressures and temptations that typically face young people out on their own for the first time.  And because of this lack of preparation (call it immaturity) I caused myself, and others, a lot of psychological agony and made a lot of bad decisions.

A sudden change of tone in the bus’s engine quickly brought me out of the funk that I’d settled into for the last hour or so.  As the driver coaxed the powerful transmission down a couple of gears, the darkness outside began to surrender itself to rapidly passing brightly lit signs announcing various gas stations, liquor stores and motels.  As the small, brilliantly illuminated buildings increased in number the bus slowed and the engine in the rear gave out a low complaining moan.  We lurched to the right as the coach pulled off the main road and onto a large concrete parking area already filled with several other large buses and a sprinkling of cars.  The lot fronted a cluster of tightly grouped neon-lit structures, each announcing their particular brand of cheap and greasy fast food.

“First stop!”  The driver’s gravelly voice announced over the bus’s tinny speakers. “Exit the coach carefully please!  We’ll be here for fifteen minutes, so please make sure you’re back in your seat and ready to go at that time.  Food and snacks at the various stores outside and bathrooms in the back.  FIFTEEN MINUTES!”  A sharp hissing sound came from the rear as the air brakes decompressed and a slow shudder passed through the body of the vehicle as the engine droned and clunked to a final stop.

The majority of the passengers began to stir and stretch, finally getting out of their seats and easing out into the narrow aisle.  As I stepped out I saw that several of the guys from my group were standing in the aisle intently staring in my direction.  It was then that I remembered that I was the money man and would have to fund their food and snack choices.  As I carefully walked towards the front of the bus, one by one, the group fell in behind me.  I worried that somehow I’d end up short of money before we even got to San Antonio as I didn’t know how many more stops we’d make or how many more hours we’d be on the road.  As I stepped off the bus and onto the slightly damp concrete I decided that since I was in charge of the group, and more importantly, the money, I’d be making the food and snack choices from here on out.  I stopped to make sure all the group was together, then motioned for them to gather ‘round.

“OK,” I said to my sleepy-eyed charges, “we’ll need to pick one place only to get whatever food or drink you all want.  That way I can pay for everyone at the same time.”

“How about that 7-11?”  One of the guys asked.  “I need to pee and their restrooms are usually pretty clean.”

“Fine with me,” I said, “is that OK with the rest of you guys?”

I got blank looks and a couple of nods, so I turned and headed to the green, red and white striped store with the ragged group in tow.

A few minutes later and a few dollars lighter, I settled back into my seat sipping on a Coke and munching on a couple of “Texas Peanut Patties”—basically pink round caramelized sugar discs embedded with peanut halves.  Great for the teeth.

 

Maggots and Other Nice Things

 

After a few hours of mostly dark and smooth highway—and after making a few more stops for bathroom breaks and such, I finally succumbed to a numbing slumber coming on the heels of the mountainous sugar high created by a few more “Peanut Patties” and a couple of “Payday” bars.

From very far away I heard, “….Antonio main terminal…”  Then, “…on to El Paso with final destination, Los Angeles (pronounced ‘las eng gah leez’).  Everybody off for a head count.”

Shaking off the heavy mantle of sleep I slowly realized that I was staring into a bright overhead light positioned right outside my window.

“Hey, mister group leader…” I heard from my left.  “Hey, we gotta get off now.  You want help with the folders?”

I took a deep breath and tried to get my brain engaged.  Turning my head I saw one of the guys from my group looking quizzically down at me.

“Hey, come on now. We gotta go.  The other guys already got off and are waiting for you!”

Scooting off the seat I extended my left leg out to find the center aisle.  “OK, OK. I’m up.”  I managed to say.

During the long trip the stack of folders had managed to shift towards the back of the overhead and part of the cord had come loose.  With a little help I was able to round up the folders and lift them off the rack and down onto the aisle seat.  There, I quickly re-tied the cord and hefted the stack in front of me as I dragged myself to the front of the bus and out the door.

The terminal was larger than the one in Houston and even at this late hour was bustling with buses arriving and departing, passengers milling about, some pulling outlandishly large pieces of luggage, while others had no luggage at all.

Finding the rest of the group loitering by the large doors leading to the interior of the terminal I did a quick count to make sure no one had gone AWOL on me.

“Anybody see a blue Air Force bus anywhere?” I asked to no one in particular.  A couple of heads wagged ‘no’.

“All I seen is these Continental buses here.”  One of my charges said.  “Maybe it’s out on the street somewhere.”

I looked both ways and saw that the terminal pretty much took up a whole city block.  If the Air Force bus was on one of the streets we’d have to do some walking to find it.

Picking the street closest to us I picked up my stack of folders and headed in that direction.  Clearing the large bus entrance doors I stepped out onto the sidewalk, looking right and left.  About a half a block to our right, parked on the curb, was a large blue school bus with the letters, ‘USAF’ painted in large white block letters along the rear exit doors.

“That’s it!” I said to no one in particular, and started walking rapidly in its direction.

As I got near the front of the bus the two front doors swung open.  I slowed a bit and looked behind me to make sure everyone was still headed in the same direction.

“Hi,” I said tentatively to the rather large black man dressed in a tightly starched green uniform—a highly polished high-top boot casually resting on the lever that operated the doors. “Is this the bus to Lackland Air Force Base?”

“Who’s asking?” he said, raising the bill of his matching green cap to expose his bright white eyeballs.

“Uh, Frank…no, basic airman DeLeon—group leader from Houston.  And these are my guys.” I threw a quick thumb over my right shoulder as I tried to balance the folders on my left knee.

“OK, ‘Group Leader’ dee-lon.  Get yo ass up here and gimme d’em folders.”

Shooting a quick look behind me to again make sure no one had panicked and tried to escape, I climbed up the two steps and handed the stack to the driver.

“Put d’em on da floor and take that string off.”

I softy dropped the stack and undid the tidy bow that I’d spent some time perfecting earlier.

“Gimme the folders one by one.” The driver said, stifling a yawn.  I noticed that on his sleeve was sewn an insignia with a blue and white star with four stripes, formed somewhat like wings.  I wasn’t sure if he was a sergeant or something else.

Taking no chances I said, “Yes sir!”  In my best military voice.

“Shit boy, I ain’t no sir!  I’m just Smitty.  Now when we get on the base, anyone you see with anything d’at even looks like a fucking stripe on his sleeve, you better say ‘sir’.  Otherwise yo ass is grass.”

Hmm…, I thought.  There’s that ‘ass/grass thing again. Must be an Air Force thing.

“OK.”  I said quickly.

Looking at the first folder he asked, “So, youse dee-lon, right?”

“Yes s…., yes!”

“OK, since youse the group leader, you take this here first seat on the right.”

I grabbed the brightly polished hand pole and swung myself into the right front seat, happy to finally be rid of those damn folders.

Smitty began to call out the names on each folder, asking the respondent to sit in a particular seat on the bus.  Soon he slammed the doors shut, deposited all the folders in a large metal basket directly behind his seat, and fired up the engine.  Twenty or so minutes later we were being waved onto the base by a sharply dressed gate guard.  He had stepped out of a small dimly lit building with large windows, next to which a large red sign announced, “ALL VEHICLES MUST STOP!!!”  Taking a position between the building and the sign, the guard, wearing a light tan long-sleeved shirt, matching colored pants neatly bloused into his highly-polished black high top boots, stood ram-rod straight, left arm extended straight out, hand high signaling for us to stop.  Smitty turned the bus’s headlights off while slowing to a crawl.  In a split second the guard’s left arm dropped behind his back as his right arm magically popped into view in a Nazi-like salute straight out from his body.  The arm then suddenly bent at the elbow and snapped in towards his chest.  At the same instant Smitty switched the headlights back on, and accelerated the bus abruptly, snapping my head backwards into the seat’s rigid backrest.  As we zoomed by the guard I realized that he’d been wearing dark sunglasses under his gleaming white helmet and was sporting a pretty large black semi-automatic pistol at his waist.  Pulling myself back into a sitting position I wondered if I would ever come close to looking as sharp as that guard did, or if sometime in the near future I’d also be given a gun.

My thoughts were cut short as we made a sharp turn and came to an almost screeching stop.  Standing on the corner were two men, each wearing short stove-pipe looking caps and dressed in green, highly creased uniforms.  They were standing at what I’d learned was “parade rest”, and they looked extremely unhappy.

Smitty pulled the door open and the younger of the two men stepped in to the bus, right foot on the floor and his left still on the first step.

“Smitty?  What’cha got here?”  The man asked, his cap pulled down so low over his eyes the bill almost touched the tip of his nose.

“Oh,” Smitty began, while at the same time reaching over his shoulder and pulling the stack of folders up from the wire basket.  “…just a few pounds of fresh meat.  Here’s the scoop on ‘em.”  He handed the stack to the man who promptly passed it on to the other man still standing on the curb behind him.

“Listen up!”  Smitty suddenly yelled to the back of the bus.  “These are your DI’s.”  (drill instructors).  Pointing to the sergeant just inside the bus he said, “This here’s Sergeant Prince.  And the gentleman behind him is Sergeant Rice.  You’ll be going with them for the rest of your journey tonight!”  I thought maybe I should get up and introduce myself as the group leader but fortunately thought better of it.

As Sergeant Prince slowly turned his head up and to the left, one of the recruits—a heavy, slightly overweight black guy with very large expressive eyes, who was sitting in the seat directly behind Smitty, stood up quickly and extended his right hand.

“Hey there, Sarge!  How’ya doin tonight?  My name’s Austin, and I’m from Houston. I’m sure glad to meet you!”

I saw Smitty’s mouth drop open and his eyes go wide.  As I glanced over to Sergeant Prince I thought I might have seen a glint of hellfire begin to illuminate the underside of his cap’s bill.

Without seemingly moving his jaw or his lips, I heard Sergeant Prince roar: “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME, YOU FUCKING MAGGOT?!”

Austin all but fell back into his seat but managed to stutter out, “Wha…um…wha….maa…?”

Sergeant Prince stepped up to the floor of the bus with both spit-polished and immaculately laced shin-high combat boots, and pulled himself up to his full-blown height of about five feet and eleven inches.  Placing his perfectly manicured hands on his hips and bending slightly at the waist he bellowed at a now horribly frightened Austin: “DO YOU HAVE A FUCKING DEATH WISH?  YOU PIECE OF DOG SHIT!!  HOW DARE YOU ADDRESS ME AS ‘SARGE’.  HOW DARE YOU ADDRESS ME AT ALL!!  YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SURVIVE THIS FUCKING NIGHT, COCKSUCKER…MUCH LESS BASIC TRAINING IN MY FUCKING BELOVED AIR FORCE!!”

Austin stood there frozen—half leaning forward, right arm extended, his hand loosely hanging off his now very limp wrist.

“G-gu-gosh sarge, I’m sorry.  Ah’s just tryin’ to be frenly…” he managed to utter.

Prince took a very well measured half step—putting his nose just about two inches away from Austin’s.

“SORRY?  YES, YOU ARE SORRY!  A SORRY PIECE OF SHIT!!  AND, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT HAND DOING THERE?  DO YOU WANT ME TO PUT MY DICK IN IT?  DO YOU WANT TO JACK ME OFF?”

Austin instantly dropped his hand and broke into a big toothy smile.

“Damn sarge, that’s funny.  Naw, I was just gonna shake, you know, your hand.  Haw, yo dick in my hand…jack you off…”  Austin managed to get his nose around past Prince’s face and look back at the rest of us, “hee, hee that’s really funny.”

Even though I was still in my military infancy I knew that Austin had just marked himself as the “goat” for the next six weeks.

Prince did what I thought would be impossible: he actually got even closer to Austin’s nose without touching it.

“OH, YOU THINK I’M FUNNY, IS THAT IT?  YOU THINK I’M A FUCKING COMEDIAN SENT HERE TO ENTERTAIN YOUR BLACK ASS?  YOU ARE A PATHETIC MOTHERFUCKER WHO DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE BREATHING THIS GODLY UNITED STATES AIR FORCE AIR!!”  The spittle flying out of Prince’s mouth, back-lit by the street light on the opposite corner of the intersection, was literally bouncing off Austin’s face.

Out of the corner of my eye I detected a slight movement a bit to my right and saw that the other drill sergeant, Rice, had stepped up into the bus.  In a low but non-threatening voice he said, “I think Airman Austin needs to step out of the bus now and show us just how many push ups he can do while the rest of us go off and enjoy a bit of midnight chow.”

Prince closed his mouth but did not move his face a millimeter back from Austin’s.  He was breathing hard, eyes peeled, nostrils flaring and his lower lip pooched out over his upper.

Austin had grabbed on to the vertical hand pole and was standing back almost on his heels.

“Sergeant Prince.”  Rice said softly but firmly.  “I think Austin needs to give us about a hundred right now.  Let’s offer him the opportunity to show us his manliness.”

Prince took a step back and Rice stepped out of the bus.  With no change in his facial expression, Prince let a bit of atmosphere fill back in between his face and Austin’s.

“Step out here, maggot!”  Prince ordered, as he stepped backward off the bus and on to the cement curb.  “NOW!”  He growled.

Eyes peeled, mouth half-open Austin took a couple of tentative steps forward, left hand wiping his face hurriedly.  “Yes, sir!”  It was the first thing he’d said or done right that evening.

After Austin had exited the bus Sergeant Rice stepped in.  Looking at us from under the bill of his cap, arms crossed with his legs slightly spread, he stood there staring intently as we heard Sergeant Prince order Austin to the ground.  It was then I noticed that the Rice had one more stripe on his uniform sleeve than Prince was wearing, making him the senior officer of the two.

“Listen up!” he said in a low, yet forceful voice.  “When I say so, you will exit this vehicle through this front door and form up on…” he turned and looked at me.  I jumped ever so slightly.

“What’s your name?”

“DeLeon…sir…” I responded.

“DeLeon!”  Turning back to look at the rest of the now shocked recruits he repeated, “You will form up on Airman DeLeon.”

As I stepped off the bus, following Sergeant Rice, I tried to keep my eyes averted from where Austin was laying prone on the dewy grass breathing hard after having completed maybe ten or twelve push-ups.  Prince was haranguing him, calling him every vile name he could think of, apparently trying to inspire him to complete the rest of the ninety or so push ups that he still had left.

“Stop here!” Rice abruptly directed, pointing to a spot on the dark ground.  “And stand at attention!”  I stood stock still, hoping that what I was doing now somewhat closely resembled the ‘attention’ position he required.

“All right, the rest of you line up behind DeLeon and stand at attention like he is!”  He voiced these orders while standing directly in front of me and looking back over my right shoulder.  For the first time since arriving on the base I now got the opportunity to get a good look at Sergeant Rice.  While Prince was just short of six feet, looked incredibly fit, and seemed to be no more than thirty, Rice appeared to be at least ten or fifteen years older and looked a little softer.  In spite of having his green DI cap literally screwed onto his head and wearing his haircut high and tight, I could see that what hair was visible was a fine steely gray.

“Don’t bunch up, Godammit!”  Rice said loudly, “Leave about two feet between you and the guy in front!  You can gauge the distance by stretching your right arm straight out in front and placing your hand on the guy’s shoulder in front of you”.  I felt a hand tentatively touch my back then anchor itself on my right shoulder.  “Once you got your distance let the guy go.  I don’t want any fucking romances starting up here tonight!”  The hand instantly left my shoulder.

As he looked over my head, squinting as he assessed the uniformity of the line, I noted that Rice had a pretty deep-set of crow’s feet shooting out from the corners of his stony blue eyes.  And even though his exterior demeanor was hard and resolute I somehow sensed that beneath that façade lived a kind and soft-hearted man.  A few weeks from now I would find that my assessment of Sergeant Rice’s true character would prove to be pretty accurate.

“I know you all don’t know how to march properly…yet…but when I give the order you will start on your left foot and move forward—in step!  We’ll be marching to the chow hall; about two blocks away, to have a little midnight breakfast.  I know it’s late, but I imagine you’ve had nothing but shit to eat since you left Houston, so we’re going to feed you a righteous Air Force meal before you bed down for the night.”

He made one last look back over my head, then executed a neat little ‘about face’ in front of me.

“SQUAD!  FORWAAARD…MARCH!”  Then, every time his left heel hit the ground: “YOUR LEFT—YOUR LEFT—YOUR LEFT—RIGHT—LEFT!”

And so, the pathetically ragged line of misfit-looking teens began to move forward; led by a skinny and very nervous Latino kid as he marched briskly away from his old life and into a new, and hopefully exciting one.

As we marched, leaving the bus and Austin behind us, Sergeant Prince’s voice echoed melodically into the night: “IS THAT ALL YOU GOT AUSTIN, YOU FUCKING MAGGOT?  YOU CALL THAT A PUSH UP  ?  DON’T FUCKING LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, I’M NOT YOUR FUCKIN’ MOTHER!  GIVE ME TEN MORE, ASSHOLE!  UP, DOWN—UP, DOWN—UP, DOWN……”

Pushing Prince’s voice out of my mind I tried to concentrate on my marching rhythm.  Occasionally the guy behind me would get out of step and the toe of his shoe would bite down on one of my heels, momentarily also putting me out of step.  After a few times I found that if I did a little skip I would magically fall back into step with Sergeant Rice.  Wow!  I thought.  I’m getting the hang of this marching thing.

I felt my stomach tighten then growl softly as we were marched in the direction of a large brightly lit building; then pleasantly into a delicious aromatic wave of frying bacon wafting lazily in the damp night air.  (Your left—your left—your left—right—left…)

 

The Three S’s

 

The noise was deafening.  At least a hundred—maybe even two hundred, mostly men along with a slight scattering of women, were sitting at four chair tables arrayed in neat rows in the enormous building aptly named, “Main Dining Hall”.  We marched in through a door that would’ve probably allowed a fully-loaded cargo plane to taxi in and park with no problem at all.  There seemed to be no windows and the ceiling was at least thirty feet high, dotted with large canopied high-wattage lights placed about six feet apart from one another, giving the interior of the building a bright and slightly harsh appearance.  Once through the door Sergeant Rice made a slight right turn and guided our group to a large counter that was marked, “Civilians and Non-Carded Trainees”.

Sitting behind the counter a beefy airman, not much older than me but wearing a neatly pressed green fatigue uniform and sporting two wing-like stripes on this sleeve, greeted Rice cordially and presented him with a form on a clipboard and a pen.

“Evening, sir.  This group yours?”  On his shirt, just over his breast pocket his name tag said, ‘Schneider’.

“Yup,” Rice responded as he began to fill in some blank spaces on the form, “there’s a few more at the barracks bedded down already.  Prince brought’em in earlier. ”

“How many?”  The airman asked.

“Eleven here, from Houston, and one on the way later with Prince.  Full course.”  Rice instructed.

“OK,” Schneider said, “no problem.  Section C twelve will be yours tonight.”  He took the clipboard and pen from Rice and pulled the paper form off adding it to a stack already on the counter.

Rice looked back at us.  “OK, listen up!”  Pointing to the right side of the building, “Over there is the serving line.  Follow me there and grab a tray.  I won’t be eating, but follow me down the line.  Take as much food as you want, but,” then he lifted his head slightly so we could all see his eyes under the bill of his cap, “you will eat everything you put on your tray.  If your eyes are bigger than your stomach and you order more than you can eat you will pay dearly!  Every tray will be as empty when you finish eating as it is when you first pick it up!  DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”

A scattering of ‘yes, yes-sirs, yup and uh-huhs’ echoed out from our group.

From the back of our ragged line I heard, “Can we get seconds?”

Rice moved to his left to try to see who had asked the question, then quickly decided just to answer to the whole group.  “There will be NO seconds!  But you may pile as much food as you think you can eat at one time.  But, again!!  NO LEFTOVERS!

Satisfied that we all understood he turned and headed toward the serving line.

Because this meal was technically breakfast (it was a bit after midnight), all manner of American breakfast fare was being offered.  Toast was being dumped into a large cloth-lined basket from what appeared to be an open-ended oven housing a metal conveyer belt.  The white bread was being loaded from the rear by a very bored cook sitting on a high stool surrounded by scores of plastic bagged loaves.  I grabbed a couple of slices and moved on.

Piles of oranges, apples, bananas were arranged behind “spit guards” at the beginning of the line.  Following were deep open refrigerators with racks of boxed milk, chocolate milk, a variety of juices, and yogurts.  Bacon, sausage links, sausage patties, and fried ham steaks were piled on large metal pans that were constantly being refilled by men dressed completely in white, their heads covered by matching white paper caps.  They seemed to all be streaming in non-stop from a room behind the serving line, no doubt housing several giant stoves and ovens.

As I slid my metal tray along the three highly polished metal tubes I was just visually overwhelmed by the amount of food that was being displayed, all for my taking.  The aroma was heavenly, and the variety was astounding.

I had never, ever, seen this much food—freshly made and all in one place—not even when our church had once hosted a weekend conference and the kitchen sisters in the dining room had served over two hundred people.  I remember thinking that that particular feat was awesome!

After putting a couple of strips of crispy bacon, a sausage patty and a link on my plate, I arrived in front of a flat metal cooking grill.  It was about four feet wide and three feet deep, and on its spitting hot surface were at least three dozen eggs.  Four cooks were tending the grill, each with a large flat-handled spatula: one chopping and turning a mound of scrambled eggs, while another flipped the dozens of eggs, one after another, while the third was continuously breaking eggs over the grill, shoving one group to the scrambled side and the other to the “sunny-side up group.  The fourth cook was yelling as we approached the grill: “scrambled, well, medium, or sunny side up?  Let’s go!!  How many?”  Once you made your choice he’d deftly scoop the eggs with his spatula and slide them onto your metal tray.  It was a swirling, non-stop egg ballet—a veritable egg assembly line of the highest caliber.

After having two eggs, over-easy, plopped onto my tray I scooted left and arrived at the waffle/pancake/French toast station.  The grill here was about half the size of the previous one, but it was just as full of pancakes cooking away in various stages of completion.

Two cooks here—one pouring the batter while the other one flipped and served.  “How many?  Come on, I ain’t got all night! One? Two? Three?”  Mindful of Sergeant Rice’s admonition I meekly asked for one.  “Just one?!  Shit, not even worth my time…,” and a perfectly round golden-brown pancake flew onto my tray, landing on top of my eggs.

The waffles were being dumped into one of the large rectangular silver pans as they were popped out of the six or so slowly-rotating black waffle irons, and gleaming metal pitchers of hot maple syrup were placed on white folded cloth towels just past the grill.  I passed on the waffles, drowned my pancake in syrup and slid on to the next treat.

This one boggled my mind a bit.  Yet another bored server was standing behind a large stainless steel cauldron that was filled with a thick white gravy-like substance with what appeared to be pieces of browned hamburger meat floating on top.  He was stirring it lazily with a large wooden spoon and as I slid up to his station he asked, “Shit on a shingle?”

“Pardon me?” I said a bit confused.

He looked up from his stirring and asked again, this time a bit impatiently, “I said, SHIT ON A SHINGLE—S.O.S, or not?”

I hesitated for a couple of seconds, and as I sensed that he was about to say something unintelligible again I said, “No thank you,” and moved on.

Since I was the first of my group to get through the line I grabbed my tray and looked for Sergeant Rice.  I spotted him standing near the far corner of the huge dining room with his hand in the air.  As I approached him he pointed at the first of three, four seat tables.

“These are ours,” he said.  “When everyone’s done…” and he looked at his watch, “say, twenty minutes from now, put your trays in the scullery window and form up outside again.  Think you can handle that, DeLeon?”

“Yes sir,” I answered quickly, not being too sure what a ‘scullery’ was, but knowing better than to ask.  “But what about Austin?” I wondered out loud.

“He’s coming through the line now,” Rice said, pointing his head in the direction of the serving line.  “Make sure he eats fast.  I want to see everyone outside by zero-zero-thirty, because you all need to be bedded down by zero-one-hundred.  Understand?”

“Yes sir,” I said confidently—again, not too sure what zero-zero-thirty was.

I didn’t realize just how hungry I really was until I began to eat.  Then it seemed I didn’t get enough on my tray.  I thought how I should’ve tried the S.O.S.

Austin came walking up to our tables with Prince on his heels and boy, did Austin look bad.  His face was shiny moist and rivulets of sweat were still dripping down his forehead and off his chin.  His jeans had huge wet spots on the knees and his shirt was literally sticking to his skin, due either to sweat or from the dew on the grass he’d been laying in.

“Find your seat over there, dickhead,” Prince growled, pointing at the last empty chair at the third table, “and you got exactly ten minutes to finish all that shit you decided to pile on your tray.  And don’t you dare leave one fucking crumb!!”

“Yes sir, boss…I mean, Sergeant Prince…sir.”  Austin stammered, and quickly shuffled over to the table.

“DELEON!!”

I almost choked on my mouthful of pancake, but managed to swallow quickly.

“SIR?”  I said quickly as I put my fork down and stood up as fast as I could, nearly upending my chair.

“Did Sergeant Rice give you instructions?”

“Yes sir,” I responded, “he said to have everyone finished and out front by…zero-zero-three-zero.”

I didn’t dare look Prince in the face so I just looked off to his right—again hoping I was standing at attention.

“Finally!  Someone who can take and remember orders!  You do know what zero-zero-three-zero means, right?”

I froze momentarily, but suddenly I realized that I was staring at a large clock that was hanging over the big entrance door.  Instead of being numbered with the twelve on top and the six on the bottom, I saw that there were two zero’s where the twelve should’ve been—and the twelve was at the bottom where the six should’ve been.  The little hand was now just to the right of the double-zeros, and the big hand was where the ‘three’ should’ve been.  I concluded that it was now about zero-zero-fifteen; or twelve-fifteen AM.

“Yes sir,” I now said with a bit more confidence, “I’ll have them out in about fifteen minutes.”

“Good,” Prince said, “and make sure Austin’s completely done with his chow, or he’ll have Hell to pay!”

“Yes sir!”  I turned to look at Austin, and I wasn’t sure if he was scooping food into his mouth at a frightening rate because he was that hungry or because he was trying to finish on time. No matter, I had decided that one way or the other he’d be done and we’d all be outside by twelve-thirty.

We were all five minutes early, waiting out by the large entrance doors.  I didn’t know how long the gigantic dining room was open, but the parking lot was full of cars and people in all sorts of uniforms, and even some civilians kept pouring in.  I decided this had to be a twenty-four hour operation.

I heard Sergeant Prince before I saw him.

“OK, airmen!  Let’s try to form up two-by-two.  I want the tallest guy at the left-front position and the shortest one at the right-back position.  Everyone else fits in according to height.”

It didn’t take long for Prince to lose his patience as we jockeyed around trying to figure out who was taller than whom, and which one of us was going to be the runt in the back.

“Goddammit you fucking yokels! Can’t you tell who’s taller?”

He grabbed a couple of us by the collar and dragged us around into position until he was satisfied that we were finally in line correctly.  I ended up being the fourth in the first line.

Heading to the front of our double line Prince spun around and called us to attention.

“AH-TEN-HUT!!”

We did our best to look attentive.

Doing another one of those neat little turns Prince was now about two paces in front of the tallest of us on the left line with his back to us.  Rice took up a position at the rear.

“FOR-WARD….HARCH!!”  (I think he meant ‘march’, but it sure sounded like ‘harch’).

Not all us remembered to start off on our left foot, and for the next twenty or thirty feet there was plenty of stumbling and a lot of double-skipping coming from the twelve of us—and a whole lot of swearing coming from Sergeant Prince.

Mercifully we finally arrived at a group of about six low-slung buildings, three on each side of a large concrete pad with their front doors facing each other.  We were stopped at the second one on the left.

“GROUP HALT!!”  We stopped…sort of.

Prince asked us to turn to our left and face the front door of the building.  “This here, gentlemen, is going to be your home for the next six weeks.  It is building ‘B’ located in quad Delta.  Do you think you can remember your new address?”

A bunch of very scattered ‘yes-sirs’ bubbled out from our group.

“We’re going to march you in there and you’ll be assigned a bunk.  You’ll have about five minutes to take a piss, wash your face, strip down to your skivvies, get in the rack and be dead asleep.  If you’re not, the night guard in the barracks will report to me and I’ll have your ass doing push-ups until the sun comes up!  IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?!!”

The ‘yes-sirs’ came out a little less enthusiastically and a bit more whiney.

“Questions?”

Austin, who ended up as second tallest in the left line raised his hand.

“What was it that I said that you couldn’t understand, Austin?” Prince asked, as he took a step forward.

“Well…sir.  What if one of us has to also take a…you know… a doo-doo?”

Mentally rolling my eyes, I figured we’d find Austin dead on the concrete in the morning.

“AUSTIN?  DID YOU LEARN ANY FUCKING ENGLISH IN SCHOOL?” Prince had all but run around the front of the line and was now yelling in Austin’s left ear.

“Yasser! I shore did!”  This, Austin delivered while looking straight ahead.

“YOU HAVE FIVE FUCKING MINUTES…FIVE FUCKING MINUTES…FROM THE TIME YOUR BUNK IS ASSIGNED UNTIL YOU’RE SAWING LOGS!  IF YOU CAN WORK A SHIT IN THAT AMOUNT OF TIME THEN GOOD FOR YOU.  OTHERWISE, YOU’LL BE SLEEPING ON THE FUCKING QUAD!!”

Prince’s face was almost purple and his fists were knuckled up.  He slowly looked up and down the line trying to see if anyone else had anything else to say.  No one did.

Later, after having been ushered into the large well-lit structure we were assigned our bunks; and having taken care of all personal business in the less than personal ‘latrine’, Sergeant Rice came out of a room at the end front of the building on whose door was a large sign that said:  “RICE”.  Prince had long since disappeared into the other one that said, “PRINCE”.

“LISTEN UP!”

We all stopped doing whatever we were doing.

“At zero-four-fifty-five, you ladies will be gently awakened by me, and/or Sergeant Prince.  At zero-five-hundred you will be in formation out on the quad.”  He paused for effect, but all he was getting from us was twelve puzzled looks as we all apparently tried to do the math.

“That means,” he said dramatically, “that you have exactly five minutes to shit, shower, and shave,” he paused again, rolling his eyes over the group, “make your bunk, dress yourselves in your nasty civies (civilian clothes), and be formed up on the quad for roll call.”

I didn’t sleep too well that evening due to a combination of my over-worn clothes, the thin uncomfortable mattress, and having to endure the sounds and smells of thirty, or so, other men all thrown together into a characterless single floor wooden building.

Earlier, and just before I’d slipped between the slightly starched sheets I’d visited the rest room, now known to me as the latrine, and I was stunned at what I saw.  It was a large rectangular room with open doorways at each long end.  Taking the two wooden steps down onto a white tile floor, the opposite wall was lined with about twelve wash basins—complete with a one foot square mirror centered over each one.

Built into the wall on the right, and all the way to the floor, were twelve long white enameled urinals—about three feet apart from one another.  Protruding from the opposite, or left wall, were about fifteen shower heads, with hot and cold water faucet handles under each one.  In that area the floor was angled down to allow the water to flow into three large circular drains cut into the tile floor.

But what shocked me more than anything else was the line of ten plain black-seated commodes, sitting not more than two feet apart from each other and jutting out from the wall opposite the basins.  In all my life I had never been naked in front of anyone else and now I was expected to “shit, shower, and shave” in front of strangers.  I worried that I wouldn’t be able to complete the act of bowel voiding while thirty other men were in the same room, all showering, shaving, and peeing at the same time.  I wondered if my drill sergeants would allow me to “go” in the middle of the night while everyone else was sleeping.  Common sense told me no.  So then I thought, maybe I’ll talk Austin into asking them for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gone, and Soon Forgotten

Gone, and Soon Forgotten

 

 

December 16, 1960, 11:50 AM – 1:45 PM

 

I recall the cool mid-winter Houston breeze sifting through my thin white shirt as I quickly climbed the widely spaced flat stone stairs in front of the giant granite monstrosity known as the Federal Building. Walking through its enormous brass and finely engraved glass doors I looked around the large open foyer trying to find anything that might tell me where I was supposed to go. I spotted a hat-rack looking device in the center of the floor with a rectangular white cardboard sign perched on top with “USAF” printed in block letters, followed by an arrow directing me to bear right.

In a corner, next to a bank of elevators, and sitting behind a small metal desk, was a young uniformed airman—looking not much older than me. As I approached he looked up smiling, and politely asked my name. Searching through one of the two large stacks of stiff reddish brown cardboard binders on each side of his desk, he handed me one—my name neatly stenciled on the front cover—and asked that I carefully review each sheet of neatly catalogued data contained therein. I would later recall that this was the last time, for a long time that anyone would speak to me politely.

After leafing through the aptitude tests, interview data, and birth certificate facsimile, I initialed the front cover with a fat black grease pencil, handed the folder back, and was motioned to find a seat on one of several wooden folding chairs arranged against a back wall. Two other pimply-faced, wide-eyed enlistees were already there, nervously studying their hands as I took a seat next to them.

After a while most of the chairs were filled and the young airman stood and asked us to gather by the last elevator. When the car arrived we piled in and rode down a couple of floors. Grinding to a bumpy halt the doors opened revealing a dank and dimly lit hallway, its floor covered in a bizarre pattern of black and white checkerboard tile.

The young airman stepped out and motioned us to exit to the right. He walked briskly ahead of our little group and down the hallway until we got to an oak door festooned with a shiny brass push plate.

“OK.” he said, assuming a stance next to the door that I would later learn was ‘parade rest’. “Once you go through that door, find a locker, undress down to your shorts, and put your clothes, shoes, and valuables inside it—watches, rings, everything. You’ll see that each locker already has a lock with a key on a leather strap, so lock it up and secure the key onto your wrist. Note that the key and the locker have identical numbers, so you’ll be able to find and retrieve your stuff later. Questions?” No one said a word.

“All right, in you go!” he said, pivoting smartly to his left and pushing the heavy door open.

It was a large dark locker room, long wooden benches set between at least twenty rows of double-stacked lockers. Everyone scattered to different areas to find a locker that was a respectable distance from everyone else’s, and I was no different.

Having stripped down to my shorts after stuffing my khaki pants, white shirt, shoes and socks into the metal locker, I snapped the lock and removed the key—taking care to wrap the stiff leather band holding it securely to my wrist.

Walking to the end of the row of lockers I saw the airman standing by an exit door while holding it open. As I approached the door he said, “Step to the right and get in line please…alphabetically!”

A few moments later, after exchanging last name first letters, I took my place behind four other young men; the first standing in front of a white door with a sign that said, “Examination Room”.

The door popped open and the first guy in line, probably with a last name starting with an “A”, was asked to walk in. In ragged sequence we all moved up one space and waited. Although the room, painted a dull and incomprehensible combination of beige and dark gray, was not particularly cold, everyone seemed to be shivering anyway.

When it was my turn in front of the door I felt pretty stupid standing there, facing a white door at parade rest (legs spread out comfortably, hands behind my back). Then, the door opened and I took a step into the room.

There were three men in the room. Two, wearing long white lab coats over plaid shirts and khaki pants and standing, while the other, seated at a table and writing on thin amber colored sheets of paper, was dressed smartly in a crisp blue United States Air Force uniform.

In my best military heel-to-toe forward march, I approached a solid red line on the floor. One of the fellows on the left in a white lab coat (number one) gave me a quick once over and asked me to pull my shorts down to my thighs. What?

While I was briefly contemplating his request, the other white lab coat on my right (number two) reached up, pulled my jaw open and jammed a large wooden stick down my throat.

“Say, AH!!”

“Ahhrrgg…” was the best I could do, trying mightily not to projectile vomit onto his face.

Blindly pushing my boxers down modestly to my pubic hairline I felt a firm hand grab the waistline of my shorts and yank downward. Next, I felt an uncomfortably warm and very soft hand grasp my penis. Oooh.

“Ahhrgg?” I gagged and tried to look down to see what number one was doing.

“No tonsils, huh?” number two asked.

“Uh, guh,” was all I could manage to say while at the same time trying to push my eyeballs to their lower limit to see what number one was really up to down there.

“I’m gonna peel’er back!” number one announced to no one in particular—and I apprehensively wondered just what that meant. A second later I found out and I didn’t like it. I believe I was also now standing on my tippy toes.

As number two pulled the stick out from my throat he pushed my head back and shone a strong light into my nostrils. “Nasal problems?” he asked gruffly.

“Doh…” I responded.

“Good! Now hold your head still while I look into your ears.”

Number one loudly announced to the room that he was “unpeeling”, and suddenly began a rough, yet slightly erotic, massaging of my testicles. Never having had this type of service performed in roughly eighteen years, my testes executed a neat little retreat and popped neatly back up into my body.

“Come on boy, drop’em back down and don’t you dare get a hard on!” he said, threateningly.

“Huh?” I said, a bit confused because I really didn’t know where they’d gone, and I sure as hell didn’t know how to call them back down either. Plus, I wasn’t so sure I could restrain those delicious little pulses of energy that I was starting to feel down there. “Uh, OK.” That coming out a little weakly as I tried to concentrate on the cold plastic pointy thing painfully jammed into my right ear.

“Fuck, never mind!” he said and stuck a thick index finger into my left upper scrotum.

“Turn your head to the right and cough!”

“What?”

“Jesus! Turn your fucking head to the right and cough!”

I didn’t think he realized that his buddy still had a sharp object tightly inserted into my ear. “My ear is full.” I complained.

“COUGH!”

Just then my ear went empty and I quickly turned my head to the right and produced a hacky-wheezy little sound that would never be defined as a cough.

Jamming his finger into my upper right scrotum he yelled, “TURN YOUR HEAD TO THE LEFT AND COUGH!” I made a supreme effort to produce a manly deep-throated cough, with maybe a little phlegm thrown in for effect, but again was only able to make the same sound again—albeit a bit more strained.

“Pull your shorts up and look at the chart on the wall! What do you see?”

“Big letters on top and smaller ones on the bottom.” I replied honestly, never ever having taken an eye test.

“Smart ass!” number one said. “Read line four from left to right.”

OK, now when someone says ‘read’, I’m assuming there are words there.

“I don’t see words—only letters.”

“READ THE FUCKING LETTERS, SMARTASS!”

I spit out, “A, O, B, G, R” and I was hoping I passed. If he’d asked for line three, or even two, I would’ve done those too. But I assumed he wanted only the big letters.

Number one spun me around, looked deep into my eyes and asked, “You ever have the clap?”

“Wh…what?”

“The clap! You ever get a dose of the clap?”

I was so nervous that suddenly I had no earthly idea what he’d just asked me. “I don’t know. What is it?” I wanted to explain to him that since I’d never left the state of Texas I couldn’t have possibly contracted any exotic foreign disease—but he persisted.

“Gonorrhea, asshole! Or syphilis. Ever get them?”

“No, but I have had asthma, though.” I responded helpfully. “My last episode was three years ago when I was fifteen. But I think I put that down on my application.” I added confidently. After all, I didn’t want to get washed out of the Air Force for withholding important health history information.

“Jesus!” number two snorted.

“Yeah, this guy’s a fucking moron.” number one hissed.

Number two deftly inserted his pointy plastic tool into my left ear. “Hold still, dammit! You got scarring on your eardrums. Did you know that?”

I really didn’t feel like discussing my ears with number two at this point, I was a bit more interested in producing a more pleasing manly-like cough for number one, should he request another; and I was still a bit mystified about the clap thing.

“Hey!” number two yelled. “You got scarring. Where did you get it?”

“Oh,” I said thoughtfully, “I’ve always had ear infections.”

“Can you hear me alright?” number two yelled into my right ear.

“Yes.” I responded through the ringing in my ears.

Number one released my genitals to my great relief, (and maybe just a wee touch of disappointment), and told the spiffy looking officer at the table, “He’s 1A—if not a little dumb.”

“One A,” the officer said slowly—studiously writing very carefully onto the amber sheet clipped in the brown folder.

Number one, and for good measure number two, both pointed at a side door, and number one said, “Go through there, open your locker, dress yourself, and wait in the lobby with the other morons. Think you can do that?”

“Sure!” I said assertively, all the while surreptitiously feeling for the key still strapped to my wrist. I marched out as proudly as I could in my white boxers, my ears still ringing and my ego, just a bit bruised.

 

Hurry Up and Wait

  

Having dressed and regrouped just outside of the locker room, I, and the other Air Force inductees were marched into the elevator and taken to a large conference room located on the next floor level up. A large crystal chandelier hung in the center and there were probably enough chairs to seat at least a hundred people. On the far end of the room was a lectern emblazoned with the City of Houston, Harris County seal, and on either side stood the United States flag and the Texas state flag. We joined several other groups of wide-eyed and foot shuffling young men, who were apparently joining several other branches of the military—as each group was shepherded by a young non-commissioned officer dressed in the corresponding service uniform.

We all sat quietly, with no one making even the slightest attempt at conversation, when a door at the front side of the room suddenly opened. A gray haired military officer in a colorful Marine Corps dress uniform, chest dripping with rows of medals, stood stock still at the door.

Suddenly one of the military escorts stood and yelled, “ATTENNN…HUT!!—and snapped into a rigid knees locked, arms pasted to each side, head held high posture.

Well, maybe not quite as precise as the military guys did, but we all stood up slowly and looked straight ahead.

Having waited a beat or two, the officer then strode smartly to the center of the room stopping in front of the lectern. He rapidly turned to face us and snapped his heels sharply. With his steely blue eyes he seemed to study each separate group intently while standing ramrod straight with his chin out. Finally, focusing his stare at the center of the group, he finally spoke:

“Gentlemen. I am Colonel Rogers, United State Marine Corps, and I have been briefed that each of you has successfully completed all the military pre-enlistment requirements. Therefore, I have been proudly charged with the responsibility of administering the oath of enlistment to each of you, so that you may begin your career as official members of the Armed Forces of the United States of America. [He paused, his eyes again surveying the group.] You shall repeat, after me, every word—inserting your full name after I say the word ‘I’, of this solemn oath. Are there any questions?” (No). “Is there any reason you may not want to take this oath?” (No). “Does anyone have any objection to swearing this oath to Almighty God?” No one said a word. “Then gentlemen, raise your right hand and repeat after me:”

The Oath

“I, Frank De León, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.”

We all lowered our arms and waited for the colonel to speak. “Gentlemen,” he said quietly, “you are now members of an elite and distinguished fraternity. You are soldiers, sailors, airmen and coast guardsmen; all in the service of the greatest country in the world…the United States of America! Please accept my congratulations.” [Hooyah!!] With that, he snapped a sharp salute, spun left and marched out through the door from which he had entered.

From the back of the room, a shrill command: “AT EASE!! And everyone in the room took a seat. 

Recollections

It was kind of silly, I guess, but at that moment I felt very proud of myself, and maybe a little giddy too. For the first time in my life I felt a deep sense of belonging—and a feeling of serious responsibility. I had never been very confident of my abilities, and having someone tell you every day that if you don’t live your life a certain way you will end up burning in hell, sure didn’t lend itself to my developing a healthy sense of self-worth.

As I sat in the corner of that conference room waiting for who knows what, I slowly began to fathom the enormity of the decision that I had made; one that I knew would not only physically transport me away from everything and everyone I’d ever known, but also introduce me to a whole new lifestyle.

Try as I might, I could not visualize what my life would be like from this point on, but what I did know was that I would no longer be forced by anyone to participate in a lifestyle that to me had become so distasteful and repulsive. The incident at Templo Bethel when Villa had humiliated me and Estella in front of over two hundred people—berating us for “sins” that we had not even come close to committing had driven a permanent wedge between the Pentecostals and me. Even though I hadn’t seen her in at least a year, I still mourned losing Estella in the way I did; and it would take several years of booze and bad relationships before I was finally able to get past her memory forever.

As I sat there I recalled the small gifts I had received as a result of my association with the Pentecostal church during the past five or six years: an appreciation for music, my love of the guitar, and my father’s sobriety. But these things literally paled in comparison to my other experiences with sheer hypocrisy, greed, and the church’s cruel and selfish manipulation of an entire class of people, just for the benefit of a few.

And then, of course, there was the issue with my parents. Yes, my father no longer drank, but things had not really changed for the better once he turned Pentecostal. He still didn’t place any priority on his family—least of all my mother—and instead of spending his money on drunken friends as he’d done for so many years, he now did the very same thing with his church buddies.

Because of his selfishness and self-centered drive to become a reverend at all costs, and to put on display his grandiose generosity to everyone other than those in his family, we were made to live in rental dumps and subsist on the ragged edge of poverty. In the end, there always seemed to be plenty of money to shower on Villa and the rest of his cronies, but yet there hadn’t even been enough money for him to spring for a lousy cap and gown for my high school graduation.

And so, as I sat there thinking and getting angrier by the second, I made a solemn promise to myself: With my life at a critical crossroads and knowing what I now knew, I bitterly vowed never to associate myself with any religious movement for as long as I lived, and to shun anyone who even appeared to be religious.   My involvement with two separate religions had left me empty, disappointed, and mostly angry.

Although my personal experience with Catholicism had been brief and fleeting, I had seen plenty of instances where men in our neighborhood who were wife-beating, drunken monsters Monday through Saturday, meekly made their trek to Mass to have their sins “forgiven” by some white collared agent of God. Holy redemption from heinous acts against loved ones in exchange for a few Hail Marys and a liberal accommodation to the church. Disgusting.

Just sitting there thinking about all of this sent a bitter wave of disgust through my body and revulsion rose and passed through my heart, forcing my head down into my hands.   A hard shudder all but shook me off the chair.   Looking up and blinking rapidly, my eyes stinging just a little bit, I tried to swallow and soothe the lump now steadily growing in my throat. Taking a long deep breath I lowered my gaze to the floor, hoping that none of my fellow inductees had noticed.

In those few seconds my life and the outlook on my future began to take shape. Here I was standing at the precipice of my present life as a pitifully dependent adolescent, but I was ready to take the next step and transform myself into a young man on the verge of manhood. I clearly understood that the decisions I would make from this point on would determine who I would end up being, and I promised myself that, good or bad, I would forever own those decisions. Of course I had no way of foretelling the amount of pain and disappointment that some of those decisions would bring into my life or how much I would suffer, but somehow, at that moment I knew that this was what I had to do.

***

The officer that I’d seen in the examination room came into the conference room through the side door accompanied by a pudgy, red-faced little man stuffed into a tightly-fitting Air Force uniform, carrying a handful of papers.

“Air Force inductees,” the officer bellowed, “This is Sergeant Gentry,” cocking his head in the direction of the rotund little fellow following in his wake. “He’s got some paperwork, some vouchers, and some instructions for each of you to read and acknowledge—so let’s move over to the back of the room so he can get this paperwork distributed.”

We all stood up and followed the two uniformed men to a back corner of the room. There, on the floor, now all neatly stacked and fastened together with heavy cording, the reddish-brown folders containing all of the information on our physical exams, test results, and personal information. We gathered around the two men, in a loose circle, waiting for further instructions.

Pulling out a folded sheet of paper from the inside breast pocket of his uniform jacket, Sergeant Gentry unfolded it carefully and studied it for a few seconds. Clearing his throat he looked up and addressed us.

“OK, airmen,” then he paused, “that’s what you are now you know. You’re basic airmen in the service of the U.S. Airforce!” He let a few seconds pass for that information to sink in. Looking back down to the sheet of paper, he continued, “At sixteen hundred hours—four o’clock for those of you don’t know military time yet—you’ll be driven by van to a local Luby’s Cafeteria for chow.” He glanced back up and added, “at the expense of the Air Force, by the way. At seventeen hundred we’ll reconvene here to gather up your records, then after a head count you’ll be loaded back into the van for a ride down to the Greyhound Bus station. There, at nineteen hundred you’ll board a bus bound for Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas. Between the time we get back from chow and when the van pulls out you’ll have a chance to call your folks, girlfriends, wives, and so forth, to let them know that you’ll be departing from the Greyhound Bus station. That way, if they want, they can come up and see you off. Otherwise, it’ll be at least six weeks before you’ll be allowed to see family or friends.” His eyes popped up from the sheet of paper—and with a little grin added, “You see, you’ll be too fucking busy learning how to be righteous military men and unlearning how to be civilian pussies for you to even think about anything else.”

A few of us let out a nervous chuckle.

“There are a bank of pay phones in the lobby of this building,” he continued, “and if you don’t have ten cents for the call, the Air Force will give you a dime. OK, who needs one?”

As the majority of the group pushed forward to receive the coin that the sergeant was peeling out of a paper roll of dimes, I was really undecided whether or not to call my parents. Our parting had not been pleasant, to say the least, so I really wasn’t sure how they would react to my asking them if they wanted to drive to the bus station to say goodbye. As the last of the group received his dime, I decided to go ahead and give it a shot. I stepped up with my hand out and was the last one to get a dime.

“Hello, mom?” I asked tentatively.

“Yeah?”

“Oh, uh, it’s me. I just thought I’d call to tell you that I’m leaving tonight at seven from the Greyhound terminal.”

“Yeah? So what?” Her voice sounded dead, not angry…just dead.

“Well,” I continued, “if you and dad, and maybe Ricky, want to come here and see me off. Most of the guys I’m leaving with are having their parents come up to say goodbye. So I just thought…”

“I’ll ask your dad when he gets home from work,” she said curtly, “anything else?”

“No…I just thought…”

“I’ll ask him, bye.” Click!

I felt tears welling up and I fought hard to keep them down. Putting the phone back in its cradle I heard the thin dime release, and with a sharp metallic clang drop deep into the phone’s coin box. Taking a deep breath I looked around and saw the other guys cheerfully talking into their phones—smiling, laughing, and some whispering into the handset, hands cupped, shielding their secret conversations from other prying ears.

I stepped away from the phone bank, shoving my hands into my pants pocket and looking around to see where I could just sit down.

“HEY YOU! Airman DeLeon, isn’t it?”

Startled, I looked to my left to see Sergeant Gentry pointing at me with one hand while holding the stack of reddish brown folders in the other.

“Yes sir?” I managed to respond. “Yes, I’m DeLeon.”

“You’re now AIRMAN DeLeon!” He boomed.

“Yes sir. Airman DeLeon!”

“Come here!” Waving me over. “I’ve appointed you group leader. You know what that means?”

“No sir!”

“It means I’m going to give you these record folders, and you’re going to be responsible for them until you deliver them to your drill sergeant at Lackland.” He held the folders out for me to take. “You will guard these like you guard your gonads! You understand?”

I really wasn’t too sure what gonads were, but I got the gist of his charge. “Yes sir!”

“You lose these, get them out of order, or fuck them up in any way and your ass is grass! Get it?” He thundered.

Well, there were now two things I’d never heard before, but again I understood perfectly.

“Yes sir!” I took the folders and almost dropped them, surprised at the weight.

“No fuckups, right?” He pressed.

“No sir, none whatsoever! I understand!”

Holding the folders by the loop in the thick cord with one hand with the other under them, supporting their weight, I stood there uncomfortably shifting my weight from one leg to the other.

“AIRMEN!!” Sergeant Gentry yelled from behind me, and I jumped a little bit. “Form up outside by the street, alphabetically (I would get very used to this type of ‘forming up’) and shortly there’ll be a blue bus come up. Get in, sit down, shuddup, and get ready to go to chow!”

We hurried out into the late afternoon, and I was surprised at how dim the day had gotten. After a bit if confusion trying to line up alphabetically we finally got it figured out.

“Where the fuck is DeLeon?” I heard Sergeant Gentry yell just as I was setting the pile of folders down on the sidewalk between me, and the guy in front.

“Here sir.” I said, as I raised my hand helpfully.

“What the fuck are you doing there, for God’s sake? You’re the group leader, god dammit. You belong at the front of the fucking line. Jesus!!”

“Oh,” I gasped. “Sorry, I didn’t know. I just got in line alphabetically.” I picked up the stack of folders and scooted up to the head of the line.

“LISTEN UP, AIRMEN!” Gentry bellowed, his voice echoing down Rusk Avenue as he looked down the line of terrified young men. “This here,” sticking a stubby nicotine- stained finger in my face, “is Group Leader DeLeon. He’s hot shit! And you know why?” He really didn’t expect an answer, even though a couple of dumb shits tried raising their hands. “Because he’s got your fucking lives in his hands. These folders he’s holding represent just who the fuck each and every one of you are. If he fucks up and loses them, or gets them out of order, you will be so fucked for the rest of your Air Force career!”

I didn’t really think he meant that as it sounded, but then again maybe he did. A frighteningly real picture popped up into my imagination featuring me being court-martialed and then summarily executed because I’d somehow fucked up the folders. I was now sweating profusely and my teeth made a little grinding sound.

Looking over my shoulder as I took the front position in the front of the line I met the leering stare of eleven other guys. I could hear them all asking the same question: “Just how the fuck did he get to be in charge?” Well, I sure as hell didn’t know either.

 

The Long and Lonely Road

 

Dinner (or chow, as I would later learn to call any food destined for my stomach) proved to be a bit more adventurous than good. As the bus pulled up to the Luby’s Cafeteria I recognized the restaurant as one my mom had taken me to several years prior when financial times were better. We’d taken in a matinee movie, and afterwards instead of making our usual trip to Kress’s Department Store for fresh hot chili dogs and a Coke, my mother had taken me to this Luby’s. I recalled my amazement and slight confusion as I was presented with multiple choices for salads, soups, entrees, and finally desserts. Leaving nothing to chance, my mother made all the food choices for me, but I nevertheless left the restaurant highly impressed.

As instructed, we entered the cafeteria, with me and the folders in the lead, and the rest of the troops following in alphabetical order. And that’s when the problems started. As I approached the beginning of the food line I was supposed to select a tray and silverware, then slide the tray down the line while pointing out my food choice to the uniformed waitress behind the counter. It was those damned folders. They were too heavy for me to hold in one hand, yet at least one hand was necessary for me to grasp a tray and silverware.

I made the quick decision to put the stack of folders down by my feet allowing me to use both hands for the tray and utensils, and push the stack along the floor with my foot as I moved down the line. That worked right up until I got to the veggies section—then the stack of folders fell over.

The cord holding all the folders together began to slide off, and one by one the folders began to spill out onto the red tile floor. As I abandoned my search for just the right veggie to go with my Southern Deep Fried Chicken, and I dove down to try to save as many folders as I could from spreading out onto the dining room floor. A panicked gasp exploded from the group behind me as they saw their lives sliding around on the floor.

I felt like an idiot crawling around the floor trying to corral all the folders and re-stacking them while the dinner line behind me grew ever longer and several of my fellow basic airmen left the food line to help put the stack of folders back together. Finally, a fellow whom I assumed was the shift manager for the cafeteria came over, and with his assistance we were able to get all of the folders tied back up again. By now I had no doubt the dinner line probably extended all the way out onto the sidewalk.

After finishing our meal we were herded back out to the van and driven back to the Federal Building and asked to wait in the lobby for the next vehicle that would take us to the Greyhound Bus terminal.

It was a little after five when we got back to the Federal Building, and according to the sergeant’s previous instructions we still had about two more hours to wait before we were to depart Houston on our way to Lackland Air Force Base, in San Antonio. We’d been taken back down to the large conference room and told to wait until someone came down to tell us when to go back up and out the front to re-board the van.

Since I had no watch, and there didn’t seem to be any kind of clock in the large room, I was forced to just sit there and wonder what time it was or try to sneak a peek whenever someone in our group wearing a watch came by on his way to the men’s room. I would soon learn that this was a common occurrence in the military: hurry like crazy to one destination, only to wait there interminably for further orders before proceeding at the speed of light to the next—only to wait some more. I never did get used to the ‘hurry up and wait’ part of military life.

When not wondering what time it was I occupied my mind trying to imagine what my parents and my brother might be doing. Now that I had time to think I began to feel a bit uncomfortable with how the parting had gone with my parents. Even my brother seemed a bit distant that morning as I was getting ready to leave, and my mother didn’t speak to me at all. At the time it hadn’t really bothered me too much, as I’d expected her to pout and act all hurt; besides, as the morning wore on the excitement of the day had occupied most of my attention. But now a little feeling of regret began to worm itself into my consciousness and a nasty sense of anxiety starting churning deep in my lower gut.

Sitting there, I began to think about my brother and the almost truncated relationship we had always shared. Eight years of age between us made it almost impossible for us to share common feelings or emotions, but more than that everything about us was about as diametrically opposed as it could get.

Physically, my complexion was lightly olive and my skin was smooth and mostly unscarred, while his was ruddy dark, tough, with a generous covering of fine black hair. Even then, at the age of ten, his upper lip was already heavily shadowed with the early beginnings of a dark moustache; and it would be another two or three years before I even thought I might have enough growth under my nose to cultivate the thinnest of one.

On my head I had straight dark brown hair that usually refused to do anything but surrender to gravity regardless of how much pomade it was smeared with, while Ricky had thick, deep black, naturally wavy hair that needed no assistance whatsoever in staying wherever it was put.

But it was his big-hearted and generous personality that was his strongest quality. As I’d been the only child for eight long years I found it extremely difficult to share even the smallest of possessions, and sorely resented the fact that suddenly I was no longer the center of attention. While I was wary, careful, shy, and pretty much a weakling, he was loud, robust, daring, muscular, and unbelievably strong. I was careful with what belongings I had, and hated to share anything; while he was careless and clumsy, and loved to show off and lend anything he may have been lucky enough to have scored from our parents.

Further, prior to Ricky’s birth we were still relatively financially stable, as my dad’s earnings still exceeded his predilection for binging on weekends, and I still enjoyed shopping trips downtown on Saturday with my mother—often finishing off the day with a trip to the old Iris Theater for a twenty-five cent Hopalong Cassidy movie.   However, shortly after my brother’s birth in 1950, my mother came down with recurring bouts of kidney stones, and the resulting medical expenses, added to my father’s drinking, completely overwhelmed us financially, quickly bringing an end to the Saturday day trips, movies, and my nice little seersucker suits worn over white silk shirts.

Sadly, Ricky’s life began in abject poverty, and pretty much continued that way until he married and finally moved out on his own. As a child he never got to know what it felt like to wear nice clothes or to experience the joy of a toy-filled Christmas. Whenever she was stressed out, I would often hear my mother berating Ricky and linking the year of his birth with the beginning of our family’s descent into crushing debt. “We were doing just fine,” she would yell at him while shaking her left fist, “until you came along. Now look what you did to us!” True to his nature, he would just look up at her with his huge dark brown eyes, give her a loving smile, and eventually send her into a giggling fit as he chased her around the house trying to hug and kiss her. I can truly say that I can’t recall ever seeing him sad or angry.

For the next eight years, as I traveled the world in the service of my country, I didn’t see much of my brother, but every time I returned home on leave I would be astonished to see just how solid he’d grown. By the time I left the service in 1968, he was eighteen years old and was a solid six feet something; probably pushing the scales well over two hundred pounds. Always the pacifist, and to the deep disappointment of several school football coaches, he consistently turned down any offers to play linebacker, or any other position, explaining that he could never stand to hit anyone else for fear of inflicting pain and injury.

Once while I was home on leave and Ricky was in the seventh grade, he came home from school, his face bruised and battered. I asked him what had happened and his response was that it was nothing and I shouldn’t worry. I continued to press him on the matter until he finally opened up.

“Well,” he started tentatively, “a couple of guys wanted to fight me after school and I didn’t want to, but they caught up with me before I got on the bus and beat me up anyway.”

“What!?” I exclaimed, angrily. “I hope you beat them to a pulp!”

“No,” he said meekly, looking at the floor while rubbing his face, “they were kinda small and I didn’t want to hurt them. Anyway, it’s OK, I think they got it out of their system and shouldn’t bother me anymore.”

I was shocked. “What do you mean, ‘they were kinda small’? It sounds to me like they ganged up on you. Are you going to report them to the principal?”

“Nah, it ain’t worth it. It’s OK, they really didn’t hurt me.”

Later, I spoke to my mother about this incident and she told me it wasn’t the first time this had happened. Because he refused to fight back, even the smallest bully had no trouble getting up the courage to challenge Ricky, knowing that he wouldn’t fight back. She had spoken to the principal several times but she was told that Ricky had refused to identify anyone. That’s just the way he was.

On November 1, 1971, a phone call from his wife woke me at six in the morning. His wife, Sylvia, in full panic hysteria, tearfully said that Ricky’s horribly mangled body had been found next to his completely demolished four-month-old Honda motorcycle, a full six hours after he’d crashed it while driving home from work.

 

***

 

“AIRMEN!” Sergeant Gentry’s semi-soprano yell rudely jerked me out of my funk and scared me just this side of peeing in my pants. “LISTEN UP! We will be leaving here shortly to go to the bus station. BUT!!” He was standing there waving a sheet of paper wildly in the air. “There’s been a slight change in your itinerary.” (He pronounced it ‘itinary’). “So when I finish here you may want to call whoever…(long pause for effect)…and tell them the good news. The Greyhound bus that was taking your asses to San Antone has broke down in bum fuck Egypt somewhere. So the Air Force has decided that you will instead be taking a Continental Trailways bus to your destination!”

One of the boys in our group raised his hand.

“Question?” Sergeant Gentry asked.

“Yes sarge, are we still leaving from the Greyhound Bus Terminal?”

Not ever having set foot in a basic training base, or having had the misfortune of meeting a short-tempered, frustrated serial killer drill instructor, I nevertheless instinctively knew that boy was in deep trouble.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME?” Gentry’s face turned a deep reddish purple and his eyes bulged—just millimeters away from launching explosively out from their sockets. His short stubby legs took two giant steps taking him within an inch of the boy’s face. “DID YOU JUST ADDRESS ME AS ‘SARGE’?”

“Yes, sarge.” The boy whispered.

Still doing his frighteningly real impression of a highly pissed off puffer fish, Gentry hissed, “You fucking maggot! I am SERGEANT GENTRY to you! DO YOU HEAR ME? Not even my fucking mother calls me ‘sarge’. ‘Cause if she did, you know what I would do to her?”

Even as scared as I was, I was really interested to hear this.

“…N-n-n-no.” The boy stammered.

“I’d get her ass out and make her run ten miles in brogans with a full combat pack, you jerk-off! Then when she got back I’d make her clean her commode with a toothbrush and a little spit. And you know what? She’d do it too! Even if she is seventy-five fucking years old!”

“S-s-s-sorry.” The boy mumbled, now looking nervously at the floor.

“Now, you fucking idiot—did you just ask me if we were going to drop your dumb ass off at the Greyhound terminal so you could get on a Continental Trailways bus? Is that the gist of your question?”

“Yes…sir.”

Gentry took a step back and began a slow decompression. He looked around at the rest of us, now looking slightly less purple. “Can anyone guess where we may be going? Hmmm?”

Not one hand went up. But I would think that by now we all knew the answer.

“I’m not going to dignify this fuck-off’s question with a righteous answer. Now, get off your asses and start making calls. I got another roll of dimes for those of you who are fucking broke. OK, who needs one?”

I reluctantly raised my hand.

The first time I called home, the phone rang and rang until I decided that no one was going to answer. In the space of the next ten minutes, or so, I must’ve dialed my home number two dozen times, with the same result. When everyone else had made their calls and returned to the conference room, I was still there—dialing over and over.

“Hey, airman group leader!” It was Sergeant Gentry. “You forgot your number?”

“No sir,” I responded, “no one seems to be home. Or maybe they’re outside and can’t hear the phone ring.” I started to drop the dime down the slot and try again.

“OK, that’s enough, airman! The van is outside and we need to move out.

“Oh, all right,” I said, a bit dejectedly. “I don’t think they were coming to see me off anyway.” I retrieved the dime, picked up the stack of folders, and handed the coin back to the sergeant.

“Piss them off, did you?”

“They didn’t want me to join the military, so they were a little angry when I left—especially my mother.”

“She’ll get over it! They all do!” He said as he stuffed the dime back into the paper roll. “You watch, when you finish basic training everything will be forgiven. You know why?”

“No.”

“Because when they see just how splendid you look in your Air Force uniform, and how the service did a much better job of making you a man than they ever thought they could, they’ll be impressed.”

“I guess.” I said, glancing over at him and wondering if he had looked splendid twenty or so years ago—before he got round.

The short ride to the Continental Bus terminal was spent with no one saying anything, as most of us took in the view of a city I’d not see again for the next five months. As we pulled up to the curb at the bus terminal, Gentry got out and instructed us to wait just inside the terminal doors. A few minutes later he returned and gave me a voucher with all of our names on it.

“Your bus will pull into slot thirty when it arrives. After everyone gets off, your group leader will give the new driver this here voucher and you’ll get on…in alphabetical order! Questions?”

Everyone just stood around, mostly with their hands in their pockets, looking around the bus terminal with vacant disinterested stares. A couple of them just looked at the floor and shrugged their shoulders.

“OK, group leader!” Gentry said to me. “This is where I get off. From this moment on you’ll be in charge until your drill instructor meets you at the training base. When you get to the bus terminal in San Antone, take the group out the front door and look for a blue Air Force bus. It’ll look like a school bus. Tell the driver who you are and give him this voucher.”

Great! I thought. Another voucher.

“He’ll drive you to the area on the base where you’ll be housed—and that’s where you’ll be handed off to the DI. Make sure you’re sitting in the front of the bus so you can give him the folders. Any questions?”

“No sir.”

“Good. Very last thing.”

He reached into his pocket and took out two bills: a twenty and a five.

“This is for any type of expenses you and the group might run into on the trip. There’ll be a couple of stops along the way—for bathroom breaks, and so forth—and this money is for drinks or snacks your group might need. Get receipts, and turn them, and any leftover money, in to the drill instructor. The receipts and the leftover money must add up to twenty-five dollars. Understand?”

“Yes sir, I think I do.”

“OK, because you don’t want to start your Air Force career in jail for embezzlement.”

He playfully punched my shoulder and handed me the money. Now, in addition to worrying about the folders, the vouchers, and not being able to contact my parents, I had to worry about keeping track of loose change and receipts. This group leader gig was starting to get worrisome.

 

Hello Auntie, Goodbye Houston

 

A little before 7PM a sleek Continental Trailways bus, painted in southwestern hues of beige, red, and black, pulled into slot thirty—its massive airbrake system hissing and sighing the behemoth to a smooth gliding stop. Above the gleaming windshield an oblong black and white sign read “Houston”, but soon it would be replaced with one reading “San Antonio”.

The large passenger exit door swung open and the uniformed driver, adjusting his cap as he descended the stairs down to the oily pavement, pulled a large key out of his jacket and headed to the side of the bus to unlock the baggage stowage compartment.

A few seconds went by before the first of the thirty-something passengers began to exit the bus and head over to retrieve their luggage. A few, mostly young and mostly men, came out carrying all their belongings in small gym-type satchel bags and saw no need to queue up behind the line of mothers, babies, and senior citizens waiting patiently as the driver pulled bag after bag out onto the cement; but instead looked around curiously before setting off for some predetermined destination.

A couple of guys from our group walked up behind me as I stood inside the terminal and joined me in looking out through the stenciled plate glass window waiting for our bus to be converted to a San Antonio-bound coach.

As some of the passengers leaving the bus made their way into the terminal, from behind me I suddenly heard: “FRANKIE!!”

Startled, I looked over my left shoulder to see who’d yelled my name, and I saw my aunt Lydia standing there, eyes wide and mouth agape.

“Frankie? What are you doing here?” she asked as she made her way through the crowd, lugging a bulging fabric-lined suitcase.

“Oh, hi Aunt Lydia. What are you doing here?”

“My goodness,” she exclaimed, “I’m just coming back from a little trip to Dallas, where I was visiting my sister-in-law for a couple of days.” She put the suitcase down and the guys that were standing with me dispersed, “come over here and give me a hug. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!”

She was a very small woman, older and thinner than my mom; she was given to wearing dapper little dark hats with a small half-veil resting on her forehead. When young, she’d probably been a very beautiful woman, and even now with her smooth dark skin accentuated with bright red full ‘Betty Boop’ lips and gorgeous light-brown eyes perfectly highlighted in black eyeliner, she cast quite a figure. Along with a strong hug, she laid a smoochy kiss on my cheek.

“Yes, I know,” I said to her, “but you know how my dad hates to visit relatives, and vice-versa.” I stepped back and rubbed my face where I knew she’d left half of her lipstick.

“Oh yes, how well I know! But…are you going somewhere?”

“I’m leaving tonight on that bus,” pointing at the coach from where she’d just disembarked, “to go to San Antonio.”

“My goodness! Why are you going there?”

“I’ve joined the Air Force, and that’s where I’m going for basic training!”

Caught a bit by surprise, her lips parted a bit and she brought her hand up to her mouth. “Oh, Frankie! I don’t know what to say. Your mother didn’t say anything to me or the other sisters.”

“No, she didn’t know until a couple of days ago. I kept it from her.”

“But, why?”

“Well tía [aunt], I knew she’d try to talk me out of it and I just didn’t want to go through the hassle—you know.”

“Did she get mad at you when you told her?”

“You could say that.” I said with a smile.

“Oh, but her and your dad are coming to see you off, right?” As she was saying this she was looking around the terminal.

“No, I don’t think so. I called to tell her that I was leaving from the Greyhound bus terminal at seven o’clock, and asked if she wanted to come see me off. She said she’d ask my dad. But then, at the last minute our departure was changed to this one.”

“Did you call her back to tell her?”

“I tried, but there was no answer. So, even if they did try to see me off they’re at Greyhound and I’m here at Continental Trailways.”

“¡Ay, pobrecito [Oh, poor you]! Well then,” she looked around for a seat, “I guess I’ll just stay here and see you off myself!” She grabbed her suitcase and dragged it next to a nearby seat. “Here! Let’s sit here. What time is it?”

I picked up my stack of folders and put them next to my leg as I took the seat next to her.

“Oh my goodness! What are those?” She asked.

“They’re our records…um…each folder belongs to one of the twelve of us who’re going tonight. I was made group leader so I’m responsible for them until I deliver them to our drill sergeant.”

“I always knew you would end up being some kind of leader! You were always so smart…just like my Adolph Junior. You know he was in the Marines don’t you? He was a corporal—and I think that’s a leader, right?” She jutted her chin out proudly and grabbed my hand tightly.

I had no idea what a corporal was, or what one did in the Marines, but I nodded in the affirmative anyway. Adolph was her youngest, and her only boy. My other two cousins, her oldest daughters, were Olivia and Yolanda. Of course I never got to know them very well since we didn’t visit each other very much. All I knew was that Adolph had gotten in some kind of trouble in the military and had only served a couple of years before coming home. Since then my mom had mentioned that he was studying somewhere to be an architect. The girls, a couple of years apart, were into Mexican Norteño music; supposedly having already cut a couple of records as a duet. Since I wasn’t into that type of music then I had no idea what they were doing now.

So there I sat, making small talk with my aunt while the rest of my charges did the same with their family and loved ones. At ten minutes past seven a loud scratchy metallic sound echoed through the terminal:

“Leaving from gate 30, Continental Trailways announces the immediate departure of its first class express service from Houston to San Antonio, Texas. Now boarding through gate 30—ALL ABOARD!”

I stood up slowly; making sure the cord on the folders was secure.

“Where’s your suitcase, Frankie?” My aunt asked as she got up, looking around.

“I don’t have one.”

“What? Are you planning to come right back then?”

“No,” I said, half chuckling, “I was told that I wouldn’t need to bring anything as the Air Force will be providing me with everything I need. As soon as we’re issued uniforms we have to mail our clothes and shoes back home. We were told that we won’t be needing civilian clothes for a while.”

“Oh,” she cooed thoughtfully, putting her finger to her lips, “I can’t remember if Adolph Junior did that or not. I think we sent him off with a full suitcase.”

“Maybe the Marines are different.” I speculated.

“Maybe.”

“OK, tía, I have to get at the head of the line so I can give this voucher to the driver.” I bent down to give her a little peck. As I lowered my head she wrapped both arms around my neck and pulled me down hard.

“¡AY FRANKIE! WE’RE GOING TO MISS YOU SO MUCH! CUÍDATE [take care] MIJO. I LOVE YOU! I’M SO GLAD I GOT TO SEE YOU OFF. AT LEAST YOU’RE NOT ALONE!” All this while she hung on to my neck and yelling almost at the top of her lungs. As I pulled away I saw a couple of dark tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Thank you tía. I love you too. Thanks for waiting to see me off.” I turned and headed out the door.

After getting our voucher stamped, finding a seat, and stowing the stack of folders in the overhead rack, I found a window seat on the right side of the bus and settled in. The diesel engine rumbled to life, and as we pulled away from the terminal I picked out my Aunt Lydia in the crowd, hysterically waving a white handkerchief back and forth and crying like a baby.

Hit The Road, Jack!

Hit The Road, Jack!

 

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise

 

On Wednesday, December 14, 1960, I was home watching my mother prepare the lunch my father had insisted be on the table and ready to eat as soon as he got home. Now that he was back to working full-time hours at Younger Brothers—his dreams of becoming a Pentecostal reverend having been temporarily dashed, thanks to me—he would occasionally borrow one of the company pickups to ostensibly make parts runs for the diesel shop he was now back to managing full-time. During these runs, and if he had time, he’d make a stop at the house and have a quick lunch before returning back to work. This day he’d called around ten in the morning and told my mother to have something ready because he was planning on swinging by around noon. Both I and my brother were home that day; me, because on the previous Friday I’d quit my job at Texas State Optical, and he was recuperating from a nasty case of the flu.

Just before noon the green and white Ford pickup pulled up to the front of our house and my dad rushed into the house whistling some nondescript little tune. Having already set the table, all that my mother had left to do was to transfer the stack of hot flour tortillas to the table, and spoon out the watery red tomato and rice dish she called “sopa” into a large serving bowl. The refried beans had been on the table for a while and as they’d cooled they’d taken on a bit of a waxy look.

The three of us waited patiently as my father stood at the kitchen sink scrubbing his hands with the thin bar of Lava soap and finally drying them off with a ragged dishtowel. Pulling his chair out from under the table he sat down heavily directly across from me, looked around and stated flatly, “Let us pray”.

I had long ago given up on praying for anything, so prior to our meals at home I just bowed my head and stared at my empty plate. Ricky, sitting to my left, kicked my leg softly with his foot and made a silly face as I stole a quick look in his direction. My father, as was now his custom, went on and on pontificating about all manner of things—first thanking God for our health and the salvation of his soul—then preaching a mini sermon, impressing only himself, while our guts made growling noises. My mother by now had run out of prayer words, and probably patience, and had begun repeating, “Sí, Señor, sí Señor”, to press her case for closure.

Finally running out of things to say to God he brought his soliloquy to a merciful end with about a dozen ‘amens’. After we all had our plates filled and had begun to eat I took a deep breath and decided that this was probably the right time for me to ask the question that I’d been dreading to ask for the last two weeks.

I cleared my throat. “Dad, what are you doing around this time on Friday?”

“Um, what? Friday?” he asked, a bit puzzled. “I don’t know. What time Friday?”

“Around eleven thirty, or so.” I responded, lowering my head as I stuffed a chunk of bean filled tortilla into my mouth.

“Well,” he answered slowly, “I guess if I can I’ll come home for lunch. Why?”

Here it comes, I thought (almost aloud). “Well, I need a ride downtown on Friday.”

“A ride? Downtown? Where downtown?” He stopped chewing and was looking at me curiously.

My mother, about to put a bean refill on her plate, stopped and mumbled, “Friday?” I expected her to look away, quickly point her left index finger into space and say, “Mira!!”

My brother, who knew why I was asking, put his tortilla down and let an “Uh oh!” slip out.

“OK,” I started cautiously, “I need to be at five-fifteen Rusk Avenue at twelve noon on Friday.”

That got his attention. Wrinkling his brow and blinking rapidly he looked up toward the ceiling, and repeated, “Five, five, five-fifteen Rusk?” Now looking directly at me he asked, “Isn’t that the address for the federal building?”

“Yup.”

My brother decided that this would be the perfect time for him to refill his water glass, so he noisily pushed his chair back and slid off, glass in hand, heading for the sink.

“Why do you have to be at the federal building on Friday?” His eyes now steady on me he started to lean slowly forward.

“OK, I need to be there by noon so I can take my final physical, sign some papers, and take the oath of induction.”

Silence all around, and as I sat ramrod straight in my chair a little rivulet of sweat slowly ran down my neck.

Ricky broke the silence with a quick turn of the squeaky water faucet over the sink.

“What papers?” “What oath?” What in God’s name are you talking about?” He was getting angry very rapidly.

“Yeah!! What oath?” my mother added for emphasis.

Taking a deep breath and looking directly at him, I verbalized the words I’d been practicing for a few days: “OK, I committed to join the Air Force two weeks ago—right before I quit my job at Texas State Optical. Day after tomorrow, on Friday, after I sign the papers, and hopefully pass the final physical, I’ll take an oath and then leave for basic training in San Antonio.”

For a second I thought he was going to leap across the table and stab me with the fork he was now holding tightly—knuckles turning white. Instead, he slammed it down on the table, sending kernels of soggy orange-colored rice in all directions.

“The hell you are!! I’ll be Goddamned if you’re going anywhere, Pancho!” he bellowed. “You hear me? Nowhere!!”

Trying, for the first time in my life, to show unyielding determination in what I believed in, I stared defiantly back at him and said firmly, and probably a little disrespectfully, “Sorry, too late! And I’m afraid you don’t have a say in this at all anymore. This is now between the United States government and me. I’ve taken and passed all the tests, and I’m committed to the enlistment. Besides, I’m eighteen years old now so by law I can now legally make my own decisions.”

He sat stock-still, lower jaw jutted out and trembling ever so slightly. I continued, “But if you don’t want to give me a ride downtown then that’s fine. I’ll take the bus. I thought since I’m leaving home for good you and mom might want to see me off. I guess I was wrong.”

My mother suddenly came to life and loudly threw her two cents in. Grabbing my right shoulder, her fingernails digging in painfully and shaking me with every word, she growled, “Listen you!! Over my dead body!! You hear me? Over my dead body!! You’re not going anywhere, mister!!”

I turned to look at her and saw the hate blazing from her eyes.

“You will NOT leave!” she continued yelling, now trembling with rage, spit flying from her lips. “You owe me, you ungrateful ass! You owe me for all the sacrifices I’ve made for you and all the money you’ve cost me. And you need to pay me back! You hear me? You need to PAY ME BACK BEFORE YOU GO ANYWHERE, DESGRACIADO!!” [Disgraceful one]

Trying hard to maintain my composure I stood my ground and answered softly, “Mom, I’m sorry you feel that I owe you something—but actually I don’t. I didn’t ask to be born, nor did I intentionally get sick when I was young just to gall you or to cause you or anyone else financial problems. Regardless of what you think of me, or what you say to try to make me feel bad I’m still leaving and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

With that I pushed my chair back, stood up and walked out of the kitchen. Stepping out onto the back porch and into the cool afternoon, I slammed the screen door behind me.

 

Eighteen months earlier….

 

Nobody Here But Us Chickens

 

The Houston spring and summer days of 1959 were a little cooler and dryer than usual; a welcome respite from the usual brutally hot and steamy days that were only occasionally interrupted by a violent afternoon thunderstorm.

A few weeks after my humiliation at Templo Bethel, and after an extremely frustrating evening shift at the Mexican restaurant, I decided to quit. That night, after bussing a table for ten, I tried to enter the kitchen carrying the heavy tray and slipped on a wet spot on the tile floor. The entire tray of soiled dishes, glasses and silverware hit the floor and scattered in every direction. As I clumsily scurried on hands and knees trying to retrieve the clattering mess I was given a rousing standing ovation from the amused patrons. As the applause died down I heard the manager’s shrill voice screaming, “LEON!!!!” Resisting the urge to punch him in the mouth, I instead stood up, ripped off my apron, and walked out the front door—leaving the mess on the floor for someone else to clean up.

Unfortunately, after a couple of weeks of unemployment I realized that if I wanted to have anything for myself—such as shoes that didn’t fall apart when they got wet, or decent clothing—I would have to buy them on my own; and with my own money. Besides, when I told my mom I’d quit she asked me how I was going to continue to pay her back, since she’d been taking half of my paycheck every week. I told her I didn’t know, and she wasn’t happy.

After looking unsuccessfully for a few days for another after school part-time job I ended up making one of the very worst decisions of my life. Accepting my mother’s advice I submitted an application at a place called the “Houston Poultry Company”. She told me that she had heard from one of the sisters at church that this particular company was hiring (anybody), and was currently paying ninety-five cents an hour as a starting salary. But the bonus here was that at the end of each week on payday the company would allow each employee to take home two freshly processed chickens. When I came home from my interview and told her I had been hired on the spot as a general laborer my mother squealed in ecstasy—surely dreaming about just how many different ways one could cook a chicken—or two—every week.

The foreman who had interviewed me said that I would be working from four until eight-thirty, Monday through Friday; including a thirty minute unpaid lunch break. And if I wanted to, I could come in all day on Saturdays. He suggested I wear a white T-shirt, khaki work pants or jeans, and heavy rubber soled shoes because the work could get a little wet and messy.

Because the shift hours would not allow me enough time to go home after school, I was forced to endure a forty-five minute city bus ride to the plant wearing the same clothes that I’d worn that day. And no, I didn’t think of bringing myself a change of clothing on that first day.

Arriving a few minutes before my shift was to start I reported in to the floor supervisor, and after clocking in I was immediately sent to the general foreman’s office. Looking up from some spreadsheets he was studying on his metal desk he looked me over with great interest.

“I thought you were told what type of clothes to wear.” he stated, looking a bit confused.

“Yes sir, I was.” I responded sheepishly.

“Well?”

“Well, I just got out of school and rode the bus here.” I explained.

“But, you’re wearing brown dress shoes, dress pants and a long sleeve white shirt.” He leaned back in his little armless rolling chair and scratched his almost balding head.

I looked down at myself. “Yup, I am sir. This is what I wore to school today.” I smiled. “See, I don’t have enough time to go home to change, so I had to come here straight from school.”

He leaned forward resting his elbows on his untidy desk and gave me a pitiful look. “I don’t suppose you brought a change of clothing with you?”

“Uh, no.”

Well, you’re going to mess up those clothes, son. See, I had you assigned to train on the stripping machine today, and there’s a whole lot of water there. But you’re just not dressed right for that.”

“Sorry,” I said, “this is all I have to wear today.”

He looked like he was in great pain for a few seconds, and finally said, “OK, look,” as he stood up, “I guess I could reassign you to help with the Extraction Team…and…um…get you a pair of heavy rubber gloves, and maybe a rubber apron. That way maybe you won’t get wet…but you may get some shit on you.”

OK, now he really had my attention. “Excuse me?” I managed to say as he hurried past me.

“Come with me!” He said impatiently as he headed for the door.

After donning a huge black rubber apron that was so long it actually dragged on the floor in front of me, and being given a pair of rubber gloves that weighed at least a pound each, I was escorted to the back of the long aluminum building where a large steel door opened onto a concrete loading dock.

Huge Peterbilt and Kenworth diesel trucks, on whose trailer beds at least two hundred wooden coops full of live chickens were chain strapped down, were backed up, awaiting the “Delivery Team”. That team’s job was to climb up to the top row of coops, unhitch the chain-locks, and load each coop onto a track of rolling metal wheels. Then they would roll down into the building where the “Receiving Team” would deftly pull them off the track and restack them, six high, inside the building.

The Extraction Team, consisting of four men: a fat black man, probably in his forties named Samuel; two wiry meth-head looking white guys in their late teens, whose names I never got; and a large muscled heavily-tattooed Hispanic man nicknamed Bruto, who never said a word but just glared hatefully at everyone. (I decided right then that he’d probably been assigned there just to scare the chickens to death, thus saving the company one very valuable step in the lengthy processing cycle.)

The foreman explained that it was the responsibility of each member of this team to select a coop from the stack—stuffed with at least a dozen claustrophobic panic-crazed chickens—open a small hatch at the top, reach in with one hand, and after finding a hen’s two feet, and yank her out, feet first, then hang her upside-down, on a metal shackle that was slowing moving overhead toward the “cutting lady” at the “bleeding station”.

The cutting lady, a morbidly obese black woman who didn’t talk to anyone, sat in front of a large stainless steel triangular shaped table, and wielded a large and very sharp Exacto knife. As each upside-down chicken passed by she calmly grabbed its head and passed the blade through its neck, severing the carotid. The blood, pouring out of the incision, would now flow onto the slightly inclined metal table, ultimately pouring into a large fifty gallon barrel, that when filled was sent for processing elsewhere. The slowly moving conveyer then would transport and submerge the hen, now fully bled out, into a large tubular container of boiling water, killing any parasites and softening up the feathers in preparation for its next stop at the stripping station, i.e., the feather removing machine.

“There’s a few more steps involved before we cool and package the processed hens,” the supervisor explained, “but for now that’s really all you need to know.”

“OK,” I said, a bit overwhelmed.

“Any questions?”

“No.”

“Well then take a position with the Extraction Team. I think they’re about ready to start an unload sequence.”

As you’ve probably already guessed, things didn’t go so very well.

First, I discovered that because the black rubber gloves I got were so thick and heavy, when I reached into a coop trying to push my hand towards the bottom and under the chickens, I wasn’t able to grasp a chicken’s two feet because I couldn’t fully bend my fingers. So instead of having one chicken’s two legs I ended up grabbing one foot from two different chickens. Realizing that I couldn’t really grab anything with them on, I removed the gloves. This turned out to be not a very wise decision on my part as the chickens were ready for that move.

As soon as I dove my bare hands down into the coop I found out why gloves were preferred: first, at the bottom of the coop was about an inch of green and slimy chicken poo; and second, sharp beaks and sharper claws were ready to fight off anyone’s blind groping and searching for their scaly feet.

After several attempts, my hands and arms now bleeding from several deep scratches and bites, I finally succeeded in grabbing two feet belonging to the same chicken. Holding on as tightly as my injured hands would allow I yanked her out of the coop, upside-down, and I held my prize out in front of me for all my coworkers to admire. To my horror I was instantly blinded sided as my face and head were savagely pummeled by the hen’s rapidly flapping wings. Reacting to this attack as anyone would who’s getting the hell wing slapped out of him, I swung around and threw the chicken away as far as I could.

You know, it’s true that chickens don’t really fly very well at all—especially when launched by their feet—slingshot like; and this one ended her short-lived flight by landing awkwardly right on the back of Bruto’s big bald and beautifully tattooed head. Still flapping her wings wildly she dug her claws in to steady herself, thus causing Bruto to let loose of his two expertly extracted chickens, who lost no time in making a break for the great outdoors once they hit the floor.

The two meth head boys yelled something unintelligible and took off, all elbows and knees, in hot pursuit of Bruto’s fugitive chickens. Meanwhile Bruto, now wearing my chicken as a wildly flapping white hat, reached back violently and ripped her off his now bleeding neck. This move sent her off on her second unexpected flight the day.

Because two rogues and one flying chicken had temporarily taken the majority of the Extraction Team out of commission, all poultry processing came to an abrupt halt at the Houston Poultry Company. Without the Extraction Team extracting and hanging chickens upside-down on the moving shackles, the entire poultry processing operation had been severely compromised.

Having thrown the main breaker shutting down all operations, the floor supervisor arrived at our station all red-faced and sweating, demanding to know from anyone: “Just what the fuck’s going on here?” Every eye turned on me.

Standing next to my assigned coop, now minus one chicken, I inspected my wounds. Long deep vertical scratches ran from my elbows to my wrists. My hands were covered in chicken poop, and my eyes stung from the wing whipping I’d received. My apron strings had come loose from behind me causing my apron to hang loosely on my neck; and from my face down to my shoes I was splattered with green chicken shit.

Bruto was giving me the best death stare he could come up with while rubbing his neck and checking his hands; and had the supervisor not arrived as soon as he did I may have surely suffered some real life-threatening injuries.

“Ese pendejo threw a fucking chicken at me, jefe [boss].” he said gruffly. “I’m bleeding on my neck, ese. Check it out!” OK, now he didn’t seem so tough, just a little whiney.

“OK,” the supervisor said as he started to walk toward me, “let’s all calm down and get the line running again.” Looking at me from head to foot, he said, “You look like shit…literally. Are you OK?”

“I think so. I just got scratched up a bit.”

“Right.” as he looked carefully at my red streaked arms. “Let’s go back up front to the office and I’ll put some stuff on those scratches so they don’t get infected.”

By the time we reached the office the processing plant was humming smoothly again.

After washing off as much shit as I could in the small sink in the office bathroom, the supervisor swabbed down my arms with some cotton puffs soaked in alcohol. It stung like hell.

“So I think for the rest of the shift,” he said, putting the alcohol and box of cotton back in a cabinet, “I need to put you someplace else.”

I followed him out, walking through several sections of the plant until we got to a large set of glass topped doors.

“In here we got the “Pin Feather Team”, he said pointing at the doors. “I think you’ll do fine…only women work here.” I wasn’t sure what he meant by that.

As he opened the door my ears were assaulted by a very loud low hum combined with a weird slapping sound. Closing the door behind us he had to yell to make himself heard.

“SEE, THE HENS ARE STILL UPSIDE DOWN ON THE SHACKLES BUT THEY’VE ALREADY BEEN THROUGH ONE OF TWO STRIPPING MACHINES. WHEN THEY ENTER HERE YOU HAVE TO GRAB ONE BY THE NECK AND LOCK HER HEAD ON THE CENTER PART OF THE SHACKLE. SEE? JUST LIKE THE LADIES ARE DOING.”

There were six women, three facing three, standing on a platform about two feet high. Between them the now de-feathered hens, still hanging upside-down, were moving slowly on the conveyer. They had just exited a huge machine consisting of two giant counter-rotating rollers with long rubber fingers—the source of the loud hum and slapping sounds. The rollers’ rubber fingers had literally beaten the soaked feathers off each chicken as it had passed between them.

Approaching the Pin Feather Crew, the chicken would now be grabbed by the neck and its head pulled up between its feet and locked onto the shackle. In the same motion the hen’s legs would be disengaged from the shackle and dropped. Now the chicken was right side up and hanging on the shackle by its neck.

Without any pause each woman would now peer closely at the passing chicken’s neck, and with thumbs and index fingers proceed to manually pull out any remaining feathers (pin feathers) still attached to the bird’s neck. Immediately after leaving the nimble fingered crew the bird would enter another identical feather-removing machine; but since the chicken was now right side up, the rubber fingers on those rollers would beat off any remaining feathers in the opposite direction.

Watching the six women work on those chickens was like watching a synchronized military rifle drill team perform: grab hen’s neck and swing head up and lock on shackle (hut)—disengage both feet from shackle and let them swing loose (hut)—now focus closely on hen’s neck and rapidly find and pull out tiny pin feathers with fingers before it gets too far away from you. (Boo-yah!)

“SEE HOW EASY IT IS?” the foreman yelled in my ear, startling me.

“Yeah.”

“WHAT?”

“OH, I SAID ‘YEAH’!”

“GOOD! NOW GET UP THERE AND START PULLING SOME PIN FEATHERS, BOY!!”

Addressing the crew he yelled, “SEÑORAS—THIS IS FRANK! HE’LL BE WORKING HERE FROM NOW ON, SO MAKE SOME ROOM FOR HIM!”

Amazingly, all six made a coordinated side step to the left, leaving a space on the platform for me to get up on. (Hut!)

It took me a good while to get into the rhythm but by the end of the shift I was pulling out pinfeathers with the best of them. (Boo-yah!)

***

Waiting at the bus stop that evening I was bone tired and my scratches were beginning to itch. The ends of my thumbs and index fingers were red, raw and sore; and I just didn’t see how I was going to be able to do this every day after school.

Although it was close to nine o’clock the Rapid Transit bus was almost full of mostly black and weary looking passengers. Climbing painfully up the steps I dropped my fare and looked hopefully for an empty seat. Seeing one near the back and on the left side of the bus, I grabbed the upper hand rail and headed in that direction.

It was an aisle seat—the window one being occupied by a napping well-dressed grandmotherly black woman. I swung myself in and dropped heavily onto the thin flat plastic covered cushion.

Looking up toward the front of the bus I noticed that more than a few of the passengers I had passed had taken an unnatural interest in me. Mostly they all looked annoyed. Thinking that maybe they had just noticed some of the scratches on my arms—now partially covered by my semi rolled-up sleeves—I decided to ignore them.

It wasn’t until my seat partner jerked herself out of her nap, looked angrily at me with bloodshot blinking eyes, and exclaimed, “Lordy boy, you stink!”

With that she got up, hit my left leg with her knee and said, “Move boy, I ain’t sitting here smelling yo stinky ass all the way home!

I let her out, watching her walk precariously up toward the front of the bus, finally stopping near the driver and grabbing the upper hand rail. Swinging to and fro to the motion of the bus’s momentum she turned and glared at me menacingly. Not really knowing how to react I just slid over to the window side freeing up the aisle seat for anyone who may want to sit. I rode all the way home with the whole seat to myself.

I really didn’t know I stunk. But given that I’d been sprayed with chicken shit, beat about the head and shoulders by a shit drenched chicken, and spent the better part of three hours in a humid room picking off pin feathers from wet naked chickens, I could see how that might just be possible.

Four days later, bearing many more scratches, puncture wounds in various stages of healing, and four very sore and swollen fingers, I told the foreman that I would not be returning to work after my shift was done. He smiled knowingly, shook my hand, and walked me out to the time clock. Retrieving my time card he said I could leave now but that he’d go ahead and give me credit for the day.

“Sorry it didn’t work out for you, but stop by anytime next week to get your check.”

Oh, and just as I was starting to walk out the door he presented me with two packaged up, freshly processed, fryers.

Although my mother was disappointed that I couldn’t make the grade as a chicken processor, she was, however, thrilled with the two free chickens I brought home that day.

Me? I couldn’t look a chicken in the eye for a very long time.

 

“Do As We Say…”

 

After the incident at Templo Bethel I found myself slowly developing a deep-seated anger towards the church and its doctrines, and taking a more critical view of the religion to which my parents had become enslaved.

Although I was attending services less due to my having to work part time in order to earn money for myself, my parents still forced me to attend church whenever I had an evening off or a free weekend. This often led to loud arguments, mostly between my mother and me, and added to my growing frustration with both of my parents and their completely inflexible mindset.

I had never been much of a rebel as a teen, but suddenly after having celebrated my seventeenth year, I began to openly question some of their more fundamental beliefs—much to their surprise and apparent discomfort.

For example, I began by insisting to be shown where it was written that everyone except “saved” Pentecostals were condemned to hell when their lives ended. I asked them why the Pentecostal women were required to wear certain types of clothing all the time, but the men had no such restrictions. But I think what really rankled my parents more than anything else was when I kept asking them why, now that Christ had saved their souls, they still openly displayed intense hatred toward, and made disparaging remarks about, certain (if not all) minorities?

But it was the sheer unbridled hypocrisy that I observed every day, coming mostly from the church leadership that eventually sounded the final death knell to any hopes of remaining an active member of this religion.

The rules by which the general membership were required to live by apparently didn’t apply to Reverend Villa or the lieutenants within his inner circle. As an example, television sets in our religion were completely forbidden. One could not own, or have the desire to own one, or even be in the same room where one was placed. The sheer mention of televisions or the programs they transmitted were considered grievous sins, and could only be absolved by a complete drenching in the Holy Spirit in a special service.

So, one Saturday afternoon I had been at home finishing up a history class project that was due on Monday. The previous day, while riding home on the school bus, a girl named Silvia, a homely but very nice daughter of one of Villa’s close cronies from the church, who happened to be in my history class, asked me if I could help with her project. Because I wasn’t sure when I’d be done with mine I told her I’d call her the following day to see where she was on the project and to see if she still needed help.

Having finished with my project, I tried calling her house several times but (way before call waiting) got a busy signal each time. Since my dad was home studying up on his bible and mom was taking a nap, I decided to risk it and ask if I could use the car to drive to Silvia’s house instead. She lived less than five miles from our house and I promised not to be away for more than a couple of hours. Amazingly, he agreed and in no time I was on my way.

Arriving unannounced, I parked the car in their driveway and began walking to the front door. Passing a couple of open windows prior to reaching the door I heard what sounded like a sports announcer talking over some loud crowd noise. Glancing to my right as I passed by the windows I couldn’t help but notice that sitting in their living room was a large television set. With their backs to the window sat Silvia’s mom and dad, deeply engrossed in watching a nice Saturday afternoon college football game.

Quickening my step I reached the front door and tentatively rang the doorbell. Shuffling feet, hushed whispers, and something akin to the sound of heavy furniture being dragged along a wooden floor followed the instantaneous muting of the announcer’s voice.

The front door cracked open and I saw an eye peering curiously at me.

“Oh, Frankie,” said Silvia’s mom, opening the door a bit more exposing half a set of lips, “you should’ve called.”

“I tried,” I explained, “but the line was busy.”

“Oh, Silvia must be on the phone. What do you want?”

“Uh, Silvia asked for my help with her history project and I tried calling to see if she still needed help. Since the line was busy and it was getting a bit late I thought I’d drive over instead.”

The door opened a little wider, now revealing Silvia’s mom’s full torso. From behind her I heard a door close and some heavy male throat clearing. After looking over her shoulder she turned back to me and said, “Wait here and I’ll see if Silvia can see you.”

“No, that’s OK, let Frankie come in!” Silvia’s father said in an overly loud voice, as he walked up behind his wife.

“Come on in! We were just talking about getting supper ready,” he explained—not too convincingly. “Can you stay?” He pulled the door wide open and reached out to shake my hand.

“Well,” I said, haltingly, “I don’t think so. I’ll just see if Silvia still needs help. I promised my dad I’d be home soon. But thanks anyway.”

Stepping into the front room I casually looked over to where the TV had been but saw nothing other than empty space. But on the wall facing the couch was a closed closet door under which an electrical wire snaked out—its plug firmly inserted into a wall outlet.

“SILVIA!” her mom yelled. “Come out here honey, Frankie’s here to help you with your history project.”

After appearing from the kitchen area, Silvia walked me out the back door to their small deck.

“You should’ve called, you know.” She chided, while putting her project on the table.

“I tried, but your line was busy.”

Lowering her voice, “Did you see it?”

“What, your TV?”

“Shh! Yes!” In a harsh whisper, looking back towards the back door.

“I heard it before I saw it. It’s big.”

“My uncle owns a furniture store downtown and he gave it to us for my parents’ anniversary. He had it on his sales floor as a demo, so it’s kinda used.” Still spoken in a low whisper.

“Do you watch it?” I asked quietly.

“Sometimes. I like ‘American Bandstand’.” She said stifling a little giggle with the back of her hand.

“Girl, you and Dick Clark are going straight to hell!” And we both started laughing maniacally.

***

About a month later, one evening after work my dad came home driving one of the Younger Brothers’ green and white pickup trucks. As he walked in he asked me and my brother to come out and give him a hand with something he needed moved out of the truck and into the house. As we walked out to the driveway I saw an RCA television set strapped down in the bed.

After we got it into the house and plugged in, and without being asked my father explained, “Mr. Younger was going to give this old set to one of the niggers in the shop but I told him I’d take it instead. Those burr heads wouldn’t know what to do with something this modern anyway.”

I groaned.

“Well anyway,” he continued, “I got it so we can all watch the ‘Wednesday Night Fights’. They come on at eight o’clock you know, and if you want we can get some ice cream to eat while the fights are on. So, what d’ya think kiddo?”

Not waiting to get an answer to his question, he let out a little whoop then raised his fists up into a defensive position while jumping around on his toes. Ducking and weaving like some title contending welterweight he started shadowboxing all around the room. Pretty soon he was playfully sparring with Ricky and me, while my mother, purring ‘…mira’, petted and rubbed the wooden console lovingly as if it were a new pet dog.

Needless to say, in the end we watched more than boxing on that old set; but on the positive side it did save me from attending anymore of those boring prayer circles and bible study classes on Wednesday nights.

Oh yeah, that was a really fun time for all us hell-bound sinners.

 

Disney Trumps Jesus

 

Due in part to my growing dissatisfaction with the church, its rules, the blatant hypocrisy I began to notice, and my interest in earning my own money, I began to attend services less and less. After the gig at the Mexican restaurant and my short-lived employment at the poultry processing plant I decided that I would vet my next part time job thoroughly before even considering submitting an application. One day, during our lunch break, one of my lunch buddies suggested that I check out the Shamrock Hilton Hotel. Her older brother, she said, having just returned from a hitch in the Navy, had been hired as a maintenance man and was making a pretty decent wage. He had mentioned to her that because a large expansion was in progress there were lots of job opportunities.

The hotel, located at the intersection of Main Street and Holcombe Avenue, was known as the very swankiest in the city, and catered to many visiting politicians, actors, recording artists and all manner of famous personalities of the time. Knowing this sort of terrified me a little, while at the same time raising my curiosity. Further, if somehow I did get hired, I would have to take two different buses to and from work.

In spite of my apprehensions, a few days later I decided to give it a go, and within a week I was the Shamrock Hilton’s newest dish scraper, dishwasher loader, floor mopper, and general kitchen gofer. Surprisingly, the pay, a buck twenty-five per hour, was way more than I had ever imagined making, but I told my mom it was a dollar per hour and lied when I also told her that they paid in cash. This would allow me to cash my check at the hotel’s cashier window and give my mother a smaller percentage of it than I had been forced to give her before. Sweet.

About a month after starting my job at the Hilton I overheard a couple of waiters talking about some movie that they’d seen the previous weekend. They seemed pretty excited about it so I asked them what movie they were talking about.

“It’s a Disney movie, ese: ‘20,000 Leagues Under The Sea.’ It was here a couple of years ago but it’s so good they brought it back again to the Majestic Theater, downtown.” One of the waiters explained.

“Oh,” was all I could come up with. I wondered why I’d never heard of the movie before, but then remembered that a couple of years ago we were pretty heavy into the church scene and I probably wasn’t thinking much about anything else.

But for the rest of the evening I kept thinking about the movie, and the more I thought, the more curious I became. During one of my short breaks I went into our little break room and rummaged around for a copy of the Houston Chronicle, hoping that the entertainment section hadn’t found its way onto the usually wet floor of the men’s room.

Luck was with me that day as I found an almost complete copy of the whole newspaper sitting on one of the tables. Glancing through the movie section I found the Majestic Theater’s listing of the movie, complete with dates and times. But what was most fortunate was that in a column to the left of the listing there happened to be a complete review of the movie. Folding the section and tucking it under my arm I determined that it was time for me to do some serious toilet-time reading.

The reviewer was nothing less than ecstatic of the film, expounding on the realism of the special effects, and extolling on James Mason’s excellent portrayal of Captain Nemo, and Kirk Douglas’s great job as Ned Land. But what really hooked me was the description of the movie’s villain: a giant, ship wrecking squid. Wow!! I could not image how that thing would look on the movie screen—and in Technicolor!

So I found the more I thought about it the more obsessed I became with this movie. But, being God-fearing Pentecostals, I knew that my parents would never allow me to go to any movie at all, no matter how great it was. Even though I kept my thoughts about it to myself, I was plotting and trying hard to come up with some kind of plan that would allow me to commit a movie-watching sin. Would it be even more of a sin to ask God for a little help here?

As things turned out, late on a Friday evening as I settled in for the long ride home on the second of two buses, I found a discarded copy of the Houston paper on a seat. Ignoring the news sections, I looked for and quickly found the entertainment section. Perusing the Majestic’s show schedule for the following weekend my eyes caught a small picture of Christ on the cross highlighting another theater’s show schedule.

The Kirby Theater was located on Main Street, about a block and a half away from the Majestic. It was a considerably smaller venue, mostly specializing in foreign films, independent productions, and B movies; and it usually showed mostly black and white films on its small square screen. It did not feature a cartoon at the beginning of each feature film, as was the norm at the bigger and premium first run theaters, but the admission and the price of concessions were considerably cheaper.

The ad that I was looking at announced the beginning, that very night, of a two-week run for a movie named The Life Of Christ. A small blurb under the scheduled show times said simply, “Christ’s life from birth to death—A must see for all Christians”.

Well, there it was—the answer to my prayers! Now all I had to do was to come up with a foolproof plan and present it to my parents in a way that would get them to grant me permission. Easier said than done.

For the next few days I made sure to be on my best behavior; for instance, not making faces or rolling my eyes when my dad made comments about other drivers, such as, “…those damn black nigger bastards…stupid wetbacks think they’re still driving in Mexico!” All this while driving to and from church.

Also, when I was home I made sure to volunteer to help my mom with dinner, or chased her away from the sink when it was time to do the dishes. My brother, bursting with curiosity, finally took me aside and asked me what had come over me.

“I’m working on a plan, Rick. Just don’t say anything.”

“What kind of plan?” He asked. “Does it include me?”

“Nope, just me—for now.” I answered smugly. “Just be patient. If this works we may be able to do something we haven’t done in a long time.”

“Like what?”

“You’ll find out this weekend. Now stop asking!”

Finally, on the following Wednesday about an hour before the Gillette Wednesday Night Fights came on TV, I told my dad I’d be happy to go to the store to make the ice cream run. Giving me a bit of an odd look, he hesitated slightly then dug into his pocket for some money.

“OK, Pancho. You can take the car, but just go to the ‘Shop N’Go’ up the street.”

“Sure, dad. But I’ll buy the ice cream tonight.”

“What?” He said, as he stopped counting the change in his hand.

“No problem. You always buy, so now that I’m working I’ll return the favor.”

Ramming his hand back into his pants pocket he turned and directed his attention to tuning up the old TV set. “Suit yourself. But don’t get anything other than vanilla.”

Just before the preliminary bout was about to start I made a really innocent face and began employing my hopefully well-thought-out plan.

“Hey Dad,” I started as I scooped some vanilla ice cream into my massive bowl, “Look, I know we’re prohibited from going to the movies—because of their sinful content, and all. But, what if there’s a movie that has no sinful content? What then?”

“There ain’t no such thing, Pancho. Hollywood’s full of whores and sinners. And all the movies they make are full of debauchery and temptation.” He said, his eyes narrowing as he looked up at me over his bowl.

“Well, that’s true about most movies, dad. But what if Christians made a movie and it was dedicated solely to depicting the life of Christ. Wouldn’t that be an exception?”

Putting his spoon down, he slowly turned and looked at me as if I were insane. “Yes son, it would be an exception, and a complete impossibility! Those damn heathen sinners don’t care anything about Jesus. All they care about is sex and money. Anyway, let’s watch the fights.”

“Dad,” I began to insist, “There is a movie out right now, and it’s playing at the Kirby Theater; it’s called, ‘The Life of Christ’. According to the review, it chronicles Jesus from birth to crucifixion. Really.”

With his eyes glued to the set and his bowl full of Blue Bell vanilla ice cream balanced on his knees, he quietly said, “I don’t want to talk about this now, Pancho. I wanna see that nigger get knocked on his ass. Look at how he’s mugging around and acting all smart assed.”

Well, that was the end of round one for me. I knew that for the next hour or so, he would be completely absorbed with the pugilistic action on the small black and white screen. Ricky and I had learned that it was never safe to be within his punching range when the fights were on. He would get so completely wrapped up in the boxing match, that unconsciously he would take on the role of one of the fighters, (usually the white one if it was a racially-mixed match), and punch and counter-punch the air before him—almost completely in sync with the real fight. Head weaving, elbows tucked in deflecting body shots, then suddenly flashing a wicked left jab followed by a whistling right cross, he would totally lose himself in the action. If one decided to get up, say to scoop another helping of Blue Bell, and by doing so inadvertently stepped in front of him, it was entirely possible that one of his left hooks would put you down for the count.

At the end of each round, he would sit back in the wooden kitchen chair and search around his feet for his ice cream bowl, his eyes never leaving the screen. It was not until a Gillette Razor Blade commercial was safely airing that he’d sit back, take a deep breath and shovel in a few spoonfuls. That’s when, if needed, we’d run to the bathroom or refill our own ice cream bowls.

My mother, on the other hand, hated boxing. When the fights were on she would take her bowl of ice cream into the kitchen and, while slurping away she would noisily turn pages in her bible and read passages aloud. Usually, during the sixty-second rest period between the third and fourth round she would get up and quietly walk into the front room and stand stoically behind us watching the Gillette commercial on the quivering little screen.

About ten seconds after the bell had sounded and the fighters were beginning to circle each other, she would suddenly decide that her bowl needed a refill. Swooping in from behind, she would daintily step directly into my father’s line of sight, completely blocking his view of the fight, and bend over to retrieve the carton of ice cream from the floor. This would drive my father insane and he would yell impatiently at her as he bobbed and weaved, “Woman!! Get the hell out of the way! You must be drinking muddy water—I can’t see through you!!”

Seemingly un-intimidated, she would pooch out her bottom lip, ball up and shake her left fist while delivering her very best comeback line: “Aww, shuddup you!”

Trying to maintain his concentration on the fight, my father would—while still intensely air boxing, slide around on his chair, first one way and then the other, trying to look around my mother’s skirts.

When she was satisfied that she had raised his irritability factor to the proper level she’d smoothly glide off back in the direction of the kitchen. With a swooshing of the heavy fabric of her simple cotton dress she would smartly march away, and while looking over her shoulder say, “¡Viejo pendejo!”

Later that evening after the fights were over and the TV was safely stowed away in its hiding place, I brought the subject up again.

“Look dad.” I said, as I held out the section of paper containing the Kirby Theater’s movie schedule. “See? This is the movie I was talking about. And here,” pointing to the review in the column to the left, “is what this guy wrote about the film. It really looks good, and seeing it would probably enhance my overall knowledge of Jesus and His life.”

To my great surprise he took the paper from my hand and started reading.

“Hmm, well I’ll be damned.” He said, squinting at the small print.

“Yeah,” I added anxiously. “It really looks good.”

It had taken some doing, but in the end I had finally convinced my dad that my being allowed to see the Jesus movie at the Kirby Theater would not be sinful, nor would it corrupt or demonize my soul. Of course, I’d never had any intention of seeing that movie in the first place. What I needed was cover that would allow me to travel, on a bright Saturday afternoon, to downtown Houston by a Rapid Transit bus, and deftly bypass the Kirby, walking the short distance down Texas Avenue directly to the brightly lit Majestic Theater. Once there, I was convinced that I would satisfy my overblown obsession with that wonderful Disney movie and return to my home a happy and satisfied young man.

Sadly, my well-planned deception did not work out as well as I’d anticipated, and the resulting blowback would hammer yet another nail in the coffin that had once been my father’s highflying ministerial dream. It would also confirm to the true believers at Templo Jerusalén that I was no more than an unrepentant sinner whose soul was in dire need of holy salvation—if not outright exorcism.

***

It was a short walk from my house to the bus stop that day, but even before reaching the little open-air shelter I was already experiencing some serious stress issues.

In spite of making several visits to the bathroom before leaving the house, a few minutes after beginning my walk I felt my suddenly and mysteriously full bladder begin sending SOS signals every time my shoes pounded the pavement. Further, my mouth had suddenly gone completely dry, causing my tongue to stick to the top of my mouth, and making me gag a little bit as I tried to breathe normally.

I also began to experience a strange thumping in my chest, with what thirty years later would be diagnosed as paroxysmal atrial tachycardia (an unusual but non-fatal fibrillation of the atrial chambers of the heart), and I felt a sudden urge to evacuate my bowels—a lot.

By the time I reached the shelter I was in 911 panic mode. Not daring to sit down, fearing that everything would let loose, I looked across the street and saw the little market that supplied us with our weekly gallon of Blue Bell ice cream. Throwing caution to the wind I dashed across the street and burst through the heavy iron screened doors.

The Indian storeowner’s son was on duty, and before he could utter his usual singsong salutation, I all but screamed, “WHERE’S YOUR BATHROOM?”

His eyes widened and I thought I may have seen him start reaching for the sawed off shotgun his father kept on a shelf right under the register.

“QUICK! WHERE’S THE BATHROOM?” I pleaded, now in genuine distress and stomping my feet frantically.

Perhaps realizing that I was more of a danger to myself than I was to him or the half dozen browsing customers, who were now frozen in place, he meekly pointed to the back while still keeping one eye on his father’s old but trusty weapon.

Squeezing my buttocks as tight as I could, while simultaneously holding my lower front penile area with my right hand, I did a quick Charlie Chaplin type shuffle towards the back of the store.

“But sir, that bathroom is for employees only, please!” he managed to say as I blew by him.

“S’okay, I’ll clean it up!” I screeched.

Ten minutes later I exited the now slightly malodorous privy, and although my lower gut and bladder issues had been satisfied, I still had the bumpy-thumpy thing going on in my chest—and now my head was starting to really hurt.

“Mister?” The young Indian storekeeper worriedly asked. “Are you going to be alright, or should I call an ambulance?” He really looked concerned. “You are sweating, and look very pale.”

“Uh, I’m OK now. Thanks for the use of the bathroom.” Not knowing what else to say I walked out and headed across the street to the bus shelter.

Two stops before I was supposed to get off in downtown Houston I felt a couple of crampy twinges deep in my gut and I needed to pee again. Holding on, I stumbled off the bus into the bright sunshine and very busy Saturday pedestrian sidewalk traffic.

The Kirby Theater was one stoplight dead ahead, and from where I was I could clearly see its protruding white marquee announcing, “The Life of Christ”, in slightly askew black plastic letters.

As I stood on the corner of Main Street and Texas Avenue, the Kirby Theater was no more than twenty yards dead ahead on Main. But as I looked off to my right I couldn’t help but notice the Majestic’s gaudy gold and white marquee, with bright flashing lights; it was calling me: “This is where you want to be.”

Against my suddenly better judgment, I crossed Main Street and headed towards the Majestic, leaving the Kirby behind. I hoped there was a bathroom very close to the ticket booth.

***

The movie was preceded by a newsreel and a Tom & Jerry cartoon. Sitting near the center, but in an aisle seat—just in case—I settled in with my large popcorn and Coca-Cola. Someone behind me sneezed and I swear it sounded like he said “Hallelujah!” Nah, must just be my imagination.

As the movie started, I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching me. I casually turned my head and scanned the brightly illuminated faces but recognized no one. A few scenes later, when the giant squid was enveloping a large ship with its gigantic tenticles and dragging it down to Davey’s Locker, I swore I heard someone call my name.

“Frankie, que haces?” [Frankie, what are you doing?] OK, now that spooked me and I twisted my head back, left then right. I then realized that the sound had come from right above my head and there sure as hell wasn’t anyone there.

OK, now this was starting to worry me. Instead of concentrating on the movie I began to nervously scan the matinee crowd around me. Surely, someone from school had recognized me and was trying to do a number on my mind. OK, it was working.

But try as I might I didn’t see anyone.

Suddenly having to pee again, I put my coke and popcorn on the floor and headed back up to the lobby. As I entered the men’s room I noticed that I was shaking and I was feeling lightheaded and nauseous. This was not going too well.

Reentering the theater I had kind of lost track of what was going on with the storyline, so as I took my seat in the dark while trying to watch the screen, I knocked my coke cup over with my foot. With the theater floor’s incline I saw people in front of me quickly look down between their legs, then hurriedly raise both legs—followed by an angry look behind them to see who the klutz back there was. Row after row of people in front of me sequentially did the three-step maneuver until my coke finally ran its course.

Scrunching down into my seat and trying to eat the rest of my popcorn without a drink to wash the dry salty kernels down, proved to be almost impossible. Since my mouth was still dry all I accomplished was to clog my esophagus with backed up half eaten popcorn and subsequently choke myself.

A coughing fit, coupled with pathetic squealing sounds coming from my throat as I tried to suck in air to keep from passing out, pretty much got everyone’s attention. No matter how many ships the giant squid sank, or how many close-ups of Kirk Douglas’s arching eyebrow and jutting chin hit the screen, most of the patrons in my general vicinity were instead seriously concerned about the skinny kid about to choke to death.

I came to the painful decision that it was time for me to throw in the towel. I got up, spilling the rest of my jumbo popcorn tub on the couple in front of me, and noisily hacked my way back to the dark auditorium’s exit.

I headed for the bathroom to see if I could manage to stick my head in the hand basin and pour water down my throat. A few minutes later, finally able to breathe, I straightened up and saw myself in the mirror. It was not a pretty sight.

After drying my hands, face, head and the front of my shirt with about two dozen brittle and scratchy paper towels, I headed out to the lobby.

The Majestic Theater’s lobby fronted Texas Avenue. As I exited through the heavy clear glass doors and into the bright sunshiny day I shaded my squinting eyes with my right hand and stepped out onto the sidewalk. Standing still for a couple of seconds to get my bearings and my sight, I noticed that the normally steady moving auto traffic on Texas was dead stopped. Glancing to my right I saw that there had been an accident at the corner of Main and Texas, and the two wrecked cars were completely blocking all traffic. Great, I thought. I’ll probably have to wait forever for the bus now.

Then off to my left I heard someone yell: “Hey Brother Frankie. What are you doing there?”

Thinking that I may still be imagining things, I nonetheless looked to my left. Sitting in the stalled traffic, not five feet away from me, was a black 1958 Dodge sedan. Hanging out of the rear window wearing hugely silly toothy grins were Ruben and his sister, Betty Rodriquez. They were hysterically waving their hands. Gawking from the passenger window, mouth open and eyes peeled wide, was Mrs. Rodriguez; and lastly, behind the steering wheel sat Reverend Sergio Rodrigues—the new pastor who had been assigned to our church to replace Reverend Villa. He looked very unhappy and was slowly lowering and twisting his head so he could read the Majestic Theater’s gaudy marquee in its entirety.

Although my bladder was completely overworked and very empty, I suddenly had to pee.

 

Under New Management

 

In 1959 Reverend Villa had finally left our church for South Texas and the Puerto Rican reverend from New York had taken over as pastor. He was a light-skinned, short and stocky, very animated man (picture Lou Costello), who spoke Spanish in a clipped run-on style that made it hard to understand him at times—particularly when he got excited or carried away by the Holy Ghost. He seemed to favor dressing in cheap-looking, ill-fitting, double-breasted suits that apparently didn’t pay regular visits to the dry cleaners, as evidenced by the jagged chalk-white sweat rings arcing down in several layers under his arms. His hair was wavy and gray-flecked brown, clipped almost to the scalp on the sides, making his ears look larger than they actually were.

Married to a dark-skinned and even shorter and stockier woman who loved to cook, often helping almost full time in the church’s kitchen, he was also father to three very spirited teenagers. Elizabeth (Betty), the eldest, who was seventeen, played a mean piano and had probably entered puberty at a very early age. To describe her as shapely and very sexually mature for her age would be an understatement. Long black hair, usually worn loose, framed large expressive brown eyes and pouty red lips. All the appropriate bumps and curves were more than generously distributed on her body, and whenever she walked into church, raw female pheromones literally oozed from her in all directions. Even the most devout male church member had difficulty keeping his eyes off her bounteous breasts and rhythmically swaying buttocks as she walked up to the piano at the start of each service. The two trumpet boys and I made sure to always have our legs properly and protectively crossed during Betty’s heart thumping ascent to the piano. Brother Cantú, of course, was oblivious to any of this—instead, spending those heated few seconds tuning up his huge bass guitar.

Ruben, sixteen years old, had inherited his father’s wavy hair and his mother’s complexion. Mischievous and impish by nature, he could always be counted on to tell a good joke, more often than not bursting into a boisterous saliva-spraying laugh as he giggled out the punch line. He played the saxophone but refused to play it in church. Perhaps his love of rhythm and blues, jazz, and anything by Sam Cooke had something to do with his attitude.

Reverend Rodriguez’s third child was named Lucinda, or Lucy for short. Thirteen, and presently favoring her mother in stature and complexion, she would soon lose her remaining baby fat and enter into direct competition with her older sister’s beauty and raw sexuality. She also played the piano, though not as well as Betty, and was currently taking trumpet lessons. Her personality was more subdued than those of her siblings, but at times she would unexpectedly display a healthy sense of humor.

As far as the church activities were concerned nothing changed much after Villa left. Membership seemed to stay about the same but in my opinion the services seemed a bit less refined than they’d been under Villa’s direction. Reverend Rodriguez’s oratory style seemed less lofty and earthier; and at least for me it was hard getting used to his New York Puerto Rican accent and his rat-a-tat delivery—which often left me wondering just what the hell he was trying to say.

Ruben and I seemed to hit it off right away, even though he was a year or so younger than I was. He had a pleasing personality, and I particularly enjoyed the stories he told me about his experiences while living in the Bronx. Having never traveled more than a hundred miles from Houston, I was fascinated as he related some of the adventures he’d had in the New York school system, and I strained to imagine what his classes may have been like as he described the many different ethnic groups intermingling, sometimes not so peacefully, while attending their inner city PS (Public School).

Although I was working fairly regularly at the Hilton, I still attended church when I had some days off. The Rodriguez kids were diametrically different from the Villas in every possible way. Ruben was easy going and funny while the Villa brothers were pretty much profane bullies. Where Joni had finally ended up being aloof and standoffish to me, Betty and Lucy were earthy, fun to be around, and painfully blunt.

One Sunday after the morning service there was cake and ice cream being served in the large dining room in celebration of Mrs. Rodriguez’s birthday. After the cake was blessed, the birthday song sung, and the ice cream doled out I decided to walk out onto the large concrete steps outside the church to sit and enjoy the unseasonably cool weather. Carrying a paper plate with the cake and ice cream, I walked through the door and saw all three Rodriguez kids already sitting outside.

Squeezing in between Ruben and Lucy we began chatting mostly about what we were doing in school. Betty, a senior, was grousing about how, because of the religion she wasn’t able to attend any senior activities.

“You know, in New York, the congregation was more understanding and let a bunch of things slide.” She complained. “But my father told us we’d have to tighten up our behavior because people down here weren’t quite as civilized.”

“I don’t think it has anything to do with being civil,” I interjected. “People here, especially in the church are a little more conservative. I think it has more to do with their financial status than anything else. Poor people tend to be more afraid of authority and are easily manipulated.”

Betty had been sitting on the concrete steps opposite me, but now she quickly got up and pushing Ruben aside, flopped down next to me. God, she even smelled sexy.

“You know,” Betty said, as she slid her ample buttocks next to my bony ones, “for a dumb Texan you’re pretty perceptive.”

I felt my face get a little hot.

“Oh…” I stammered, “I don’t think it’s all that. I’ve just been around these folks now for a couple of years and I think I know them.”

Her big brown eyes ratcheted onto mine, and as her lips began to form a little smile she said, “Yeah, I’ll bet you do. Is that why you thought you could get away with sneaking off and taking in a leisurely afternoon movie? Because, why? You thought no one would be smart enough to catch you?”

With that, she threw her head back and laughed heartily, joined by her brother and sister.

“You should’ve seen the look on your face, you dope! It was priceless! We all thought you were going to crap in your pants right then and there!”

Little did she know just how close to the truth she was.

Ruben chimed in, “We asked my dad not to say anything to anyone about seeing you come out of the show, but he and my mom thought it might be some kind of trap set up by some of the members of the congregation that didn’t like it when my dad got assigned pastor of your church.”

“Yeah, thanks.” I said softy. “I caught holy hell when I got home.” Ruben’s comment finally sunk in. “What trap?”

“You know,” he explained, “he saw a sinful act and then if he did nothing about it that would prove he was being guided by the devil. So he had to call your parents—he really had no choice.”

“Well,” I took a spoonful of cake, studying it and picking my words carefully, “even though I pissed off my mom and dad, and they took it out on me but good, I think they’ll end up being the losers after all. Probably most of all my dad.”

I spooned the cake slowly into my mouth, watching their reaction.

Ruben started to say something but Betty quickly shushed him. “No Ruben—cállate! We don’t know anything. And if we do we’re not allowed to say.”

“OK,” I said cautiously, “before Villa left my dad felt that he was in line for a recommendation for him to get his reverend’s license. With my screw-ups I think I may’ve caused him to be dropped from consideration. At least that’s what I think.”

A few moments went by with no one saying anything, but Ruben and Lucy kept looking up at Betty.

Finally, Betty said, “Hey, let’s walk out to where your car is parked. There are too many ears around here. Anyway, what’s done is done.”

We all got up, putting our empty plates and plastic spoons on the large brick wall that bordered the steps up to the church’s front entrance, and headed out to the parking lot at the side of the church.

When we got to where our car was parked, Lucy and Ruben hopped onto the Ford’s fender and Betty and I just walked around and rested our elbows on the hood.

“OK,” Betty started, “you know my dad doesn’t realize that he talks really loud, so unless we’re not home we usually hear everything he and my mom talk about. When we first got here from New York we spent a few evenings over at the Villa’s house getting introduced and all, and my dad and Villa went off in private to talk about the transition I guess.”

“Tell him about Villa’s two sons!” Ruben interjected.

She shot him a quick inpatient look. “Wait Ruben! I’ll get to that—OK?”

“Anyhow, we didn’t hear anything they talked about, but the following week when my parents thought we’re already sleeping…”

Lucy piped up. “Yeah, they always think we’re sleeping when they talk about all the good stuff.”

“¡Cállate!” Betty growled. “Let me finish! Anyway, I guess your dad had some problems with the church money. Do you know anything about that?”

My heart jumped, but I tried to keep my face expressionless.

“Not really,” I lied.

“Well, I guess he did but I don’t know exactly what.” She continued. “There were some suspicions that there was some money missing, but when Villa decided to do some kind of investigation…”

“Audit.” Ruben interrupted. “That’s the word dad used: audit.”

“OK, Ruben—audit!” Betty was getting a bit angry. “Can I finish now?”

I really didn’t want to hear any more about what she had to say. I was starting to get pretty uncomfortable with what had been said so far, and I was afraid to learn any more than what I already knew.

“So,” she continued, “the audit” (heavy emphasis on the word for Ruben’s benefit) I guess turned out OK, but there are still some suspicions about your dad. Did you know anything about that?”

“NO!” That came out too fast and too loud. “I mean, not really.” In a softer tone, “He just asks me to carry the money box to the car sometimes.”

“So your movie caper…and…oh yeah, and something about you making out with some country chick during a service…”

“That’s not what happened! All we did was talk and Villa went all rat fink on us in front of the whole congregation.” I started feeling that uncomfortable lump in my throat. “So you know about that?”

“Look, don’t sweat it, we don’t care about that. What we’re trying to tell you is that your dad is being looked at right now…but not because of anything you did. OK?”

I didn’t want to hear anymore. “OK, look I don’t care and I don’t want to hear anything else. As soon as I graduate and get a little money together I’m leaving.”

Ruben looked really interested suddenly. “You’re running away?”

“No, nothing that stupid. Where would I go anyway? I have my plans made and my mind made up. I just need to finish school first.” Then I realized that I’d never told anyone about my plans. “But you can’t say anything to anyone about this. Please.”

“Anyway,” Betty said, “our dad is going to ask everyone to resign their posts and then he’s going to put people in different jobs in the church. I don’t think your dad is going to be treasurer much longer.”

“That’s fine with me.” I responded, relieved with the change of topic.

The loud sounds of voices carried on the warm breeze announced that the birthday party had broken up. Small groups of people started filing out of the church and heading out to the parking lot.

“Well, here they come.” Lucy said, as she looked over her shoulder.

“Yup,” I said, brushing off my pants. “Time to head out to the car.”

“Oh,” Betty said quickly, “remind me to tell you about the Villa brothers next time. You’ll really enjoy hearing this—I promise.” With that, she spun around, and skirts flying set off to find her parents with Ruben and Lucy close behind.

Although I didn’t particularly care too much for Reverend Rodriguez, particularly after he’d ratted me out to my parents, he did seem a bit more down to earth than Villa had been. My dad, however—at least in the beginning—seemed to not take to him as well as he had to Villa. Several times, in conversations with my mother while driving home from church, he openly criticized the reverend for his way of speaking, or at other times for his choice of topics for the sermon.

“Guys like him,” he said one night when he seemed especially irritated, “wouldn’t have lasted the night back in the days when I was out on the street drinking with my friends.”

I thought that was a little harsh, but decided that since I didn’t have a dog in this fight I’d just ignore the comment. As time went on, however, I noticed my dad’s attitude and opinion slowly changing back to ass-kissing mode, probably because he was still very much in the hunt for his reverend’s license; this even after he had been booted out as treasurer

 

Education Begins to End, But Learning Begins

 

I worked at the Hilton Hotel until late February of 1960, when I at last found it increasingly difficult to balance my schoolwork with the busy evening hours I had been assigned to work. I had been promoted out of the kitchen as general gofer to busboy—working in that position for a few weeks—then to full waiter in one of the hotel’s fine restaurants. That had been a “battlefield promotion”, and had occurred when several full-time waiters neglected to show up for work.

Reporting in to my shift that evening, I was told by the maître d’ to request a waiter’s uniform at the dressing station just outside the locker room instead of my usual white shirt, pants and apron. I stepped out ten minutes later dressed in tuxedo pants, white ruffled long sleeve dress shirt, a white silk bow tie, and a waist-cut black tuxedo jacket with short tails. Looking in the full-length mirror near the locker room exit door I decided that I indeed was looking very handsome, but with no experience as a waiter, I wondered how long I’d last.

Surprisingly, the job turned out to be easier than I would have ever thought. The headwaiters, distinguished by their white tuxedo jackets, were the ones who took the actual food orders from the tables. They also delivered and opened the bottles of wine requested by the customers. When the food was ready, the waiters, those of us in the black jackets, would arrange the plated meals on large silver trays and deliver them to the guests. Overseeing the whole operation was the maître d’—dressed in a full-blown black tuxedo, shiny patent leather loafers, and wearing an aloof, and extremely bored, mustachioed expression. Very French!

I discovered that delivering the food was much easier than bussing the tables full of half-eaten entrees, cleaning overflowing ashtrays, changing tablecloths, and sweeping crumbs off the floor. Plus, the after meal tips were fantastic. Out of each dollar the headwaiters got forty-five cents, waiters, forty cents, and the bus boys fifteen cents. And all on top of our hourly salary! The maître d’ was tipped by each guest as he maneuvered them to their tables and he didn’t share.

The only downside to this new job was the hours. As a busboy/dishwasher, I was normally able to punch out after my four or five hour shift. But being a waiter—and short staffed as it was—I was often called upon to work well after midnight. The Hilton’s unofficial restaurant guest policy was that as long as there were people seated in the dining room the restaurant would remain open.

Also, sometimes there were private parties held in some of the conference rooms such as wedding receptions that required at least two or three regular waiters, and at least one bar waiter, to be assigned. Usually, this was great duty for several reasons: First, there was usually a lot of alcohol being consumed, making for some really great tips, and these were never shared with the other waiters. Secondly, the food catered for these affairs was customarily very exotic, but best of all, always served in great quantities. This made for a lot of untouched leftovers that were greedily consumed by the staff. I had my very first ever Baked Alaska during one of these functions.

One night, because one of the senior waiters decided to call in sick that evening, I was assigned to work with two other waiters at a private party that had been set up in one of the penthouse suites. It was a sixteen-year birthday party for one of the daughters of a prominent Houston family, and although there were adults present, they were heavily outnumbered by the birthday girl’s mostly female clique.

After the main meal had been served, the birthday cake consumed, and the presents opened, the majority of the chaperoning parents decided that they would rather be downstairs at one of the hotel clubs drinking and dancing to the house band’s music—leaving the boisterous teens to their own devices.

First, all at once everyone seemed to have found a hidden pack of cigarettes somewhere on their body and lit up. Not long after that, the open bar, manned by one very nervous bar waiter, was quickly overwhelmed by a few rowdy boys, asking for and chugging bottles of beer. Some of the girls, all giggly and wide-eyed went for the wine, while a couple of harder-looking ones settled for half full bottles of bourbon and whiskey.

This, of course, soon led to a loosening of their probably already pretty loose morals, and within a short time pairs of them, having spent equal amounts of time downing liquor and making out, started disappearing into the large bedrooms and bathrooms. Since the boys were outnumbered by the girls, they were “forced” to do double, and sometimes triple duty. A couple of them never returned to the main room, having either passed out due to their overconsumption of alcohol, or from sheer exhaustion.

Because it was a private party, we had been instructed by the headwaiter to stay in the room until the host released us. At that point we were to take down the bar and help the bar waiter with his cleanup. Since all the plates, glasses and silverware had already been bussed down to the kitchen, the three of us just stood at very sloppy attention checking out the action.

Not being very socially adept, I found all this behavior very confusing, to say the least. Of course I knew about the “birds and the bees”, but seeing kids, pretty much my age, acting with such wild abandon frightened me a little, while at the same time making me very curious. My two co-workers, a little older and obviously a whole lot more experienced in this type of behavior, stood quietly, hands folded over their crotches, with little leering smirks riding under their well-trimmed moustaches, all the while making quiet little obscene remarks in Spanish.

I was suddenly relieved when the guy to my left poked me in the ribs and told me to go help the bar waiter.

“Do what?” I asked, looking to see what the problem was.

“Just go, ese. I think there should be two guys up there in case some chick decides to make trouble for us.”

What the hell does that mean? I thought. “OK,” I said, “but what do I do? I’m too young to serve alcohol.”

“Godammit, just go!” Being the rookie here I really couldn’t argue, so I took off toward the bar.

About halfway across the room I was abruptly intercepted by a petite little brunette in a very pink, hoop-skirted, chiffon-like dress.

“Hey!” She said, pushing a drooping bang out of her eyes. “What’s your name?”

She reminded me a little of Annette, from the Mickey Mouse Club—but in a boozy kind of way.

“Frank…uh…Miss.”

“Frank? Like Frankie Valle?” One of her false eyelashes was coming loose and flapping about a millisecond behind each eye blink.

“Well, yeah, I guess.” She had pretty blue eyes that kept darting, ever so slightly, left and right.

“Groovy! What’cha doing here? I don’t know you, do I?”

I didn’t recall serving her so I thought I should come clean. “No, I’m a waiter, ma’am.”

She squinted her eyes trying to focus in on my face. I decided that maybe she wore glasses and chose not to wear them.

“A waiter? You mean like the two Mexicans over there?” She pointed at my leering partners. “And don’t call me ma’am! That’s what people call my mother.”

“Yes ma–, yes.”

“Wanna drink?” Her left arm swung a bottle of white wine up from behind her billowing skirt.

At this point in my life I had never even tasted wine, or for that matter, beer. My closest brush with alcohol was when I was about five years old. I remember my father teaching me how to play dominos then letting me take a sip from his glass full of Four Roses whiskey. I don’t recall what it tasted like, but I do remember I couldn’t breathe for a few seconds.

“No, I can’t drink. I’m working. Sorry.” She looked all pouty.

“You’re not cool.”

“Sorry.”

Looking up I noticed the bar guy was wildly waving me over.

“Excuse me. I have to go help the bartender.” And I took a step trying to get around her.

“Wanna mess around?” She cooed.

Again, at that point in my life I wasn’t really sure what “messing around” really meant.

“Sorry, I gotta work.”

Someone had turned down the lights in the main room, and although it wasn’t totally dark it was quite subdued.

Heading quickly toward the bar I thought I heard the rustling of skirts behind me.

“Hey! You’re not queer, are you?” She said, in a tone that wasn’t exactly angry, just kind of hurt.

I stopped and turned to see her standing there, head cocked, bottle of wine in one hand, with her other hand perched high on her hip—bottom lip pooched out. With one of her knees thrust out I couldn’t help but picture her as an angry little teakettle.

“Look, no!” I said, a bit impatiently. “No, I’m not queer, OK? I just gotta go help the bar waiter.” I turned and headed to the bar, leaving her standing in the middle of the room.

The maître d’ had instructed us to finish our cleanup and close the bar down by midnight, so with two of us putting things away and cleaning up we were done well before that. Since the party had been bussed earlier, once after the meal and then after the cake, we didn’t have much in the way of dishes—just a few napkins and several rather large pieces of birthday cake. Those would be gone before the elevator doors closed on our way down from the penthouse level.

As I was helping roll the portable bar through the door one of the other waiters called my attention to something behind me. It was the little brunette. Apparently having lost the bottle of wine she was standing in the foyer right outside the large front room with both hands on her hips.

I asked the bar waiter, “Can you push this out to the hallway while I talk to her for a little bit?” I turned and walked back to her.

“You’re leaving and you didn’t even ask my name,” she said, with a little sulkiness in her voice.

“Ah, sorry. What’s your name?”

“Now you’re making fun of me!”

I suppressed an annoyed deep breath. “No I’m not. OK, what’s your name?”

“Amanda.” She stuck her hand out almost to my face, palm down, and I wondered if she wanted me to kiss it.

“Hi Amanda.” I reached out and held her hand with both of mine.

She pulled herself really close to me, now gripping my hands with both of hers. “Can you come back after you take that stuff down?” Close up she didn’t look much older than fourteen or maybe fifteen.

“No, I don’t think so. We’re not supposed to be on this floor unless we’re working.”

“I won’t tell, honest!”

“Amanda! Look, I don’t want to get fired, and if the other guys tell the head waiter that I’m…you know, talking to one of the hotel guests then I’m in hot water.” I dropped her hands and stepped backward through the door. She let her hands fall onto the front of her dress and she looked like she was going to cry.

“That’s just my luck,” she said, looking down toward the floor and twisting a heel into the carpet. “I find one cute guy that I think likes me and he can’t wait to dump me. Shit!”

“Sorry, I don’t mean to, and I really have to go.” I glanced nervously over my shoulder to see where the bar waiter was. Still waiting for the elevator to make it to the top floor.

“Maybe I can meet you downstairs when you get off work and we can go for a ride in your car. You are getting off work now, right? I can be down by where they valet the cars and you can pick me up. Then we can just ride around town for a little while. OK?”

Well, that pretty much did it for me.

“I can’t!” was all I could say, and I spun on my heel heading for the elevator that had finally and mercifully arrived.

 ***

On the long elevator ride down to the hotel kitchen, and later on the bumpy trip home on the bus, I did a lot of thinking about this encounter, and about me in general. I had never thought of myself as attractive, and other than my mother and my aunts, only one female in my whole life had ever expressed a positive opinion about my physical appearance. And for what it was worth, she was gone for good, thanks to the church.

I had always been self-conscious about my looks. Whenever I looked in the mirror all I saw was a skinny boy with sunken squinty eyes and a mop of long fine unruly hair. As I thought about Estela on that long ride home that night I slowly realized that during our short relationship I’d never given any thought as to what she may have seen in me. I’d taken for granted that she cared for me as deeply as I’d cared for her and that was that. Of course, for me there was no question of what I’d seen in her: I thought she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen: funny, intelligent and graceful beyond belief. Surely she could’ve done so much better than me—and probably did.

After Villa had so cruelly ripped apart our budding relationship I understandably suffered a bit with the heartbreak of losing Estela forever and the bitter shame of being publicly humiliated by Villa’s completely unfounded accusations. Obviously, any doubts that I’d harbored previously about my self-worth had been blown to astronomical levels as a result of these experiences.

But now, the seemingly innocuous events that transpired that night at the Hilton, involving a little girl named Amanda, helped put me on a long and slow healing process that would eventually restore my self-confidence greatly. An attractive non-Hispanic female, from a well-to-do family, actually thought I was cute; and furthermore, really thought I owned a car. Yup, things were definitely looking up.

 

The Lens Maker

 

I continued to work at the Hilton through about March of 1960. Because of the night shifts during the week and the required church attendance on the weekends, I was finding it difficult to concentrate on my schoolwork during my senior year. I thought that the little stash of money that I had secretly saved up would be enough to carry me through at least June—but then I knew I’d have to get serious about getting another job.

By mid-June I was a Jefferson Davis Senior High School graduate. Although I didn’t actually attend the ceremony due to lack of money and transportation, I did get my diploma in the mail. So officially having run out of money I reluctantly began a job search—but with a twist. In the past I had only considered jobs that required little thinking and a lot of labor. Bussing, and even waiting tables didn’t require a lot of mental acuity, but consequently didn’t pay too much either. No, this time I was going to use my newly acquired self-confidence and my hard-earned high school diploma and shoot for the stars.

I began by scouring the daily newspaper classifieds for job openings. The one word I kept running into was “experience”—something I didn’t have much of. Not astute enough to have even drafted a simple résumé I called several companies and just innocently asked if they were hiring. The vast majority pretty much hung up on me when I admitted I had no idea what position I wanted to fill, but a couple referred me to their Personnel Department for further information. One was Southwestern Bell.

I called the company several times, only to be transferred to the wrong department or person, but finally wound up talking to an employment specialist. After answering a couple of basic questions and providing my name and social security number, I was given a date and time to report for an interview at their offices on Main Street. I was given the address of the building on Main Street, the room number, the time to report, and the name of the person that was to conduct my interview. It was suggested that I wear a suit, or at least a dress shirt and tie.

Never having owned a suit of my own I opted to spend my last few dollars on a new shirt. I did have one decent pair of black slacks that I thought I could iron to perfection, and I could always commandeer one of my dad’s best silk ties. I was all set.

The night before the interview I could hardly sleep. I tried to imagine what kind of questions a “personnel specialist” from the phone company would be asking a low-level ex-restaurant employee. Nor could I even envision for which what kind of job I would even be remotely qualified.  My knowledge of telephones was limited to being able to dial the black rotary unit in the front room and visually recognize the thin black line drooping off the black knotty post in front of the house as the telephone wire.

When I did finally fall asleep I dreamed that I was working in a great high-walled room with thousands of large black phones ringing constantly. My job was to answer each one and tell the calling party to hold for Mr. Smith. I was pleased that after I had answered twenty or so phones, I had the job pretty much nailed down. Nothing to it, I thought. This was going to be easy. Now all I had to do was pass the interview.

The appointment for my interview was at ten o’clock in the morning. At nine o’clock, I stepped onto the Rapid Transit bus near my house, and after paying my fare, showed the driver the little slip of paper on which I’d written the building’s address.

“Yup, I know where that’s at,” he said.

“Oh, can you tell me when we’re close so I can get off there?” I asked simply.

“Ya think this is some kind of fucking taxi?” he growled, showing me his crooked tobacco stained teeth. “Sit down, you’re holding me up!”

I heard a couple of chuckles from the mostly black male passengers in the back, and I felt my confidence start to fade.

“OK,” I said quietly, sliding onto the long seat directly behind the driver. “It’s on Main.”

My plan now was to keep my eyes peeled as soon as we got into the central part of the city and look for the numbers of the buildings on Main. I figured once I saw the building numbers get close to the one I needed I’d ring the bell on the bus and get off. Easier said than done.

Turning onto Main I strained to find the numbers denoting the address of the buildings as we sped up the street. Most were hidden in the outer alcove of the office building and hard to see, and others were impossible to find. I finally saw one but wasn’t sure if the numbers went up from that one, or down. I rode for another ten minutes or so. As the bus made a left turn off of Main I began to panic.

“Are we close to this address?” I ventured to ask the driver as I held the paper over his right shoulder for him to see.

Glancing at me through the large rear view mirror he gruffly said, “Yeah, about a mile back.”

I jumped off the seat and took the two steps to the front exit door.

“BACK BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE, ASSHOLE!”

“I need to get off…now.”

“I SAID, GET BACK BEHIND THE LINE!”

“OK.” I said, taking half a step back.

He stopped the bus about half a block later and I got off, not really knowing where I was.

Not ever having owned a watch I had no idea what time it was, but I started walking back towards Main Street, retracing the bus route in reverse and walking as fast as I could. Passing a clock shop I looked inside and saw that it was nine thirty-five. I had no idea how much further I had to go. I decided to go in and ask someone where, and how far, the address on the paper I had in my hand was. The answer I got was not good news.

Forty minutes later, breathing hard and sweating profusely, I entered the marbled lobby of the Southwestern Bell building. Being that I was already late for my interview I made the quick decision to find the men’s room and try to do some emergency freshening up.

Looking in the mirror I saw that my hair, on which I’d spent more time than it deserved that morning, had reverted to its normal “go wherever” look. I had no comb, so I tried in vain to douse it with enough water to attempt to paste it back down to my sweating scalp.

There wasn’t much I could do with my sweat-stained shirt, so I tried to wipe down my back, chest, neck, and underarms with wads of stiff brown paper towels to see if I could at least prevent the shirt fabric from gluing itself back onto my body.

Approximately thirty minutes after my interview had been scheduled to start I opened the frosted glass door with, “Personnel” stenciled on it and approached the very busy looking, middle-aged woman wearing black cat’s eye glasses, sitting at a large wooden desk.

After I told her who I was she simply said, “You’re late!” and asked me to sit down at one of the metal chairs along the wall opposite her.

A few minutes later she called my name and pointed to a wooden door with “Interview Room” printed in gold lettering, to her left. I stepped in, trying to look fresh and dry.

“Frank, uh, Dee-long. You’re late.” said the fat, bald man with freckles on the top of his head as he stared with deep interest at my shirt.

“I’m sorry,” I stuttered, “I got lost.”

“Oh, you from out of town?”

“No, I’m from Houston.”

“But you got lost, right?”

“Yeah, the bus driver didn’t tell me where to get off.”

“Bus driver…OK. Hmm…right. Have a seat, this won’t take long.”

And sure enough, it didn’t.

***

I walked out through the heavy glass doors of the Southwestern Bell office building and into the hot mid-morning sun. I stood momentarily on the sidewalk watching the pedestrian foot traffic, mostly businessmen in suits—some carrying important looking briefcases—hurrying to and fro, going about their business. I wondered if far into the future I’d end up being one of these men, walking purposely, head down and deep in thought, to some office hidden away in one of the many cavernous concrete buildings lining Main Street. Deep in my gut I knew that that would probably never happen. But at least I was sure of what I probably would never be doing later in life: working for Southwestern Bell.

Having nowhere to go, and not wanting to board a bus home this early in the day, I pulled my tie off, stuffing it in my front pocket, and just started walking aimlessly, pausing at a couple of jewelry store windows to admire the carefully-arranged displays. Pausing at a stoplight, I looked up to see the Kirby Theater’s white marquee jutting out over the sidewalk with shaky black plastic letters announcing the title and show times of their currently running feature. A little pang of guilt shot from my stomach and into my spine, and I quickened my pace.

I crossed the heavily-trafficked Texas Avenue and turned left, passing the gigantic Ritz Hotel, whose building took up almost an entire city block. Bellboys, valets and doormen were whizzing around in constant motion—carrying luggage, opening doors, and driving guests’ cars through the hotel’s voluminous indoor parking garage doors. Glancing to my left and across Texas Avenue a large red sign in the shape of eyeglasses caught my eye:  “Texas State Optical”. And in smaller white lettering near the bottom of the sign it read: “Processing Laboratory.”

Under the sign I expected to see a large and colorful window display featuring various styles of eyeglasses, and maybe some stylish frames placed on a couple of featureless mannequin heads. But all I saw was a heavy black steel door with a metal sign attached that read: “Authorized Personnel Only”.

At the end of the block I crossed the street and walked back up Texas until I got to the door. To the right of the door there was a doorbell type button under which someone had written: “For Entry—PUSH (hard).” Of greater interest to me was a handwritten card that had been taped under the button that announced, “Now Hiring Lens Processors! (No experience necessary) Push the button and wait!!  This means you!!!” Now this, I thought, was more up my alley.

An extremely obese Mexican man, out of breath and huffing mightily, opened the door after I had pushed the button a couple of times and waited a few minutes.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“I want to apply for the job.” I pointed out.

“What job?” he asked.

“The one on this card stuck here. ‘Lens Processor’.”

Holding on to the doorframe he leaned out, twisting his huge head to read the little sign. “Oh, that one. OK, come on up. You have to talk to the boss. I just run the lens-o-meter.”

“Oh, okay.”

About an hour later, having met Ben, the “boss”; a tall man with thinning white hair dressed in a stiff white lab coat, I was officially an employee of Texas State Optical, Inc.

The pay was less than what I had been earning at the Hilton, but getting to work would only require one bus ride, and it was a Monday through Friday, full eight-hour daytime job.

Ben showed me around and said he’d start me on the “diamond wheel”, where I’d train with a guy named Gilbert. Walking me over to where a young, thin Hispanic man was hunched over a spinning wheel, he explained that this was the position, and this was Gilbert.

Gilbert was holding in both hands a glass lens which he would rhythmically press onto the gleaming gray stone wheel two or three times, after which he’d then carefully inspect the result by holding the lens very close to his eyes. Then he’d pick up an empty eyeglass frame and hold the glass lens up to the frame—gauging the shape and size of the lens.

The wheel reminded me of a medieval sword sharpening stone, albeit this one was powered by an electric motor and had a small copper pipe suspended directly over it with water constantly dripping onto the spinning surface of the wheel.

“See,” Ben explained, “this stone wheel is impregnated with diamond dust, so by pressing the edge of a heavy prescription lens onto its surface you can manually shape it to the patient’s frame. We do this for prescription lenses for which we don’t have stencils, or maybe the lens is too thick to go through the automatic lens-shaping machine. Also, the dripping water lubricates and cools the wheel ‘cause it does get hot when you press the thick glass lenses to it. And it’s messy, so you’ll be wearing a rubber apron like he is. It’s very precise work but Gilbert is an expert at it, and after a few weeks you will be too. What do you think?”

I thought it was better than having no job at all, and OK, I didn’t have to think too much either.

 

Frankie Leaves The Nest

 

One Wednesday afternoon in September, I asked for the rest of the day off from my lens-grinding job. I’d made an appointment with an Air Force recruiter and I was scheduled to take a battery of written examinations to measure my aptitude level and help determine what job I would be most effective in while in government service.

When the results came back I found that my test results determined that I would make one dandy radar operator, and as a second choice a pretty capable air traffic controller. (Oddly, that rang a long silent bell buried very deep in my memory). The recruiter explained that the quota for air traffic control inductees had already been met so the Air Force had tentatively assigned me to the USAF Air Defense Command as a SAGE (Semi-Automatic Ground Environment) radar operator. My first assignment should be at the SAGE Center at Omaha, Nebraska, I was told, but first I would have to successfully complete a little training. Initially, I would be assigned six weeks of intensive basic training, to be conducted at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas; then, sixteen weeks of radar and elementary computer training at Keesler Air Force Base, in Biloxi, Mississippi. My induction date was set as Friday, December 16, 1960; and I was committed to a four-year enlistment. All of these meetings and arrangements were made without the knowledge of my parents or my employer.

Although the lid hadn’t blown off yet, the military situation in Vietnam was intensifying rapidly. During one of my visits to the Air Force recruiter I asked about my chances of being sent overseas and ending up in some jungle crawling through the undergrowth dodging bullets. He smiled and reassured me that airmen assigned to my career field are not usually inserted into combat situations. On my way out he patted me on the back and told me that the closest I should ever get to combat would be by arm wrestling someone for a beer at some airbase military club.

***

I gave my notice at the Texas State Optical Processing Lab during the last week of November. I told Ben that I’d joined the Air Force and would be leaving for basic training around the middle of December. Instead of being upset he shook my hand and congratulated me heartily. He told me that when he was a young man he’d tried to join the military but had not passed the physical due to bad eyesight. Instead, he went on to college with the intention of becoming an optometrist, but instead ended up running a lab for TSO. He was happy, but whenever he saw someone in uniform it still bothered him that he wasn’t able to serve his country.

I had long ago decided that the military was my only means of escape; had my home environment been other than what it was, my life would have turned out very differently. There existed several very valid reasons why I knew I had to leave.

First, I knew that as long as I stayed in Houston and lived with my parents I’d never have the opportunity of going to college. Although I hadn’t taken all the required high school subjects to qualify me for admission to college, I always felt that if I could somehow come up with the money I would take night courses that would enable me to enroll. Further, my parents, especially my mother, would never allow me to just go to school and not work. She was obsessed with the belief that I should compensate her monetarily for the time and effort she expended in raising me.

But probably the biggest reason I needed to distance myself from my family and Houston in general, was my growing hatred of any type of church participation. Although it was the church that had provided me with the opportunity to learn and play the guitar, I had lost all interest in playing church music, in or out of church.

I had discovered rock and roll, and the folk music of the sixties: Bob Dylan, Peter, Paul & Mary, The Browns, The Everly Brothers, and others, and relished learning the chords and memorizing the lyrics to their music. Any attempt I made to learn or play this type of music while my parents were at home was met with threats of eternal damnation and accusations of heresy.

Every church service I was forced to attend was now spent with me thinking bitterly about Villa and the humiliation I had experienced at this hands, and the heartbreaking loss of Estela. Everywhere I looked I saw hypocrisy within the church, and I began to voice my observations and opinions of the religion and its members regularly at home. It had gotten so bad that one day my father came home and asked me to come out and see what he’d done. We walked out to his car and he proudly pointed at the back bumper where he’d slapped a bumper sticker that read, “Christians Aren’t PERFECT—Just FORGIVEN!”

On the day of my departure, I was surprised when I saw my father pull into our driveway in the green and white work pickup. My mother had spent the morning avoiding me and praying out loud for the Lord to strike me dead. I gave all my stuff (very little) to my brother, as the recruiter had advised me not to bring anything with me when I went to the induction. From this day forward the Air Force would meet all my needs, and if it didn’t, then I really never needed it anyway.

“Come on Pancho,” my father said softly, “I’ll drive you into town now because I have to get the truck back to the shop.”

“OK, I’m ready.”

I tried to say goodbye to my mother but she turned her back and refused to talk to me. I gave Ricky a brotherly hug, and headed out of the house.

All the way to the Federal Building my father said nothing. Neither did I. Pulling up to the front of the building he looked into his side view mirror and said, “Hurry up and get out. I can’t park here.”

I stepped out of the truck and turned to say goodbye. As I started to wave, he gunned the engine and drove off without saying a word.

My final pre-induction physical was administered and I passed with flying colors.

I was five feet, eleven and one-half inches, and weighed in at one hundred and twenty-seven pounds.

Ten minutes later, along with fifteen other recruits, I raised my right hand and swore the oath.

 

 

The Beginning Of The End

The Beginning Of The End

 

Holy Merry-Go-Round

 

When 1958 rolled around the DeLeón family had become faithful and ever present members of the Nueva Jerusalén Pentecostal church.  We attended just about every service that was offered, in addition to traveling a couple to three times a month to churches that were members of our Council (Latin American Council of Christian Churches) in south and east Texas.  Being groomed to someday become a licensed reverend, Villa put my father on a fast track, taking on the role of his personal envoy and being sent to represent him at church services in such exotic locales as Sugar Land, Rosenberg, Alvin, Alice, Edna, Galveston, and El Campo.

With a couple of exceptions, most of these churches were very small, having no more than twenty or thirty regular members, and they were located in mostly rural areas where the male and juvenile membership labored in the cotton fields, factories and cattle ranches.  The wives, moms, and daughters took in washing, ironing, or worked as domestic help in homes belonging to well to do ranchers and local businessmen.

The pastors, for the most part either very old or very young—and in either case not very well educated—could not possibly support themselves or their families on the tithes of their membership, so they supplemented their pastoral salaries by holding down menial minimum wage Monday through Friday jobs, or selling fruits and vegetables grown in small plots on their church property.  But in spite of their hand to mouth existence they, and their congregations, were all extremely gracious and unaffectedly sincere.  There would always be a special dinner, usually prepared at several of the members’ homes (due to the lack of a church kitchen) and served to us and the pastor prior to the beginning of the service; and the entire proceeds of the night’s offering was always given to my father before we left.

For a while I was confused as to why the pastors and congregations treated us so well, but finally decided that it probably had to do with the pastors’ fear that we were there to keep book on their church operation and would be reporting everything back to HQ.  I later discovered that the reason these sorties were arranged by Villa were to provide my father with some face time with the outlanders.  The more familiar he was with these country churches the easier it would be for him to transition from lowly church official to future reverend status.  Plus, once ordained he would probably be assigned to one of these churches in order to begin his ministry, and thus his familiarity with the folks would ease his acceptance by the congregation.

After arriving at the church and prior to the beginning of the service my father would be introduced as an honored guest for that evening and offered seating on the stage or altar in a place usually reserved for the pastor.  My mother and brother would be ushered to one of the front pews and I would be escorted up to where the pianist (if they had one) or other musicians were seated so I could join in with my guitar.  This I didn’t mind so much because sitting on the stage looking out to the congregation gave me a great vantage point to check out the local female talent.  One very endearing and, in the end, heart rending romantic liaison resulted from these trips—but more on that later.

These constant and never-ending excursions to the outlying churches, in addition to our nightly attendance at our own church, took up the majority of any free time I may have had after school and on weekends.  Consequently, and in addition to putting me under heavy pressure to complete homework assignments and class projects, I was forbidden from participating in any type of social activity that normal teens my age were enjoying.  Dating, attending school activities such as sporting events, dances (prohibited by our religion), hanging out with friends, or just laying around listening to rock and roll on the radio (also prohibited), were completely out of the question.  The mere mention of my wanting to attend some other-than-church activity would guarantee a huge butt chewing by both of my parents—and would always end with a sermon promising me that my sinful and worldly desires would result in my spending eternity in the pits of Hell in the company of Satan and his demons

Struggling to maintain my grades I was forced to complete my school work late at night in the dimly lit kitchen usually right after returning from church services; fighting sleep and fatigue while my parents and my brother were sound asleep in their beds.  My memory of school days at Jefferson Davis High School are mostly a blur as I remember constantly falling asleep on the bus to and from school, and fighting to stay awake during class.  It was not uncommon for me to ask my teachers for bathroom breaks then spending five or ten minutes with elbows on my knees, my hands supporting my head while at the same time trying not to slip off the pot while I caught a few winks.

At our church I was now considered a regular member of the band.  Keeping my promise to Marcelo, I swallowed my pride during a couple of Sunday night services and performed by singing a hymn solo during the ‘special hymns’ section of the service while accompanying myself on the guitar.  To my surprise Joni began to warm up to me again, although in a strictly platonic manner, and even her brothers, who by now had decided that I didn’t pose a threat to their sister, began to seek me out before and after church to chat and joke around.

At the end of each service, and long after the congregation went home, my father and Reverend Villa would retire to one of the side offices while we just sat around in the dining room waiting.  To pass the time during these long meetings, and since there was no one around, I would sneak back into the empty church and began to experiment with the piano.  Transposing my knowledge of guitar chords to the piano keyboard I quickly discovered that I was able to put chords together with my right hand (majors, minors, 7ths and 9ths) while sounding out the bass equivalents with my left.  It certainly wasn’t actual piano playing—that is, melody carried by the right hand and chord support with the left, but then again my audience was not that music savvy either.  Further, the majority of our hymns, and all of the coritos, were in major keys and structured in easy three chord progressions.  In the end my voice carried the melody and both of my hands banged out the supporting chords.

Continuing his quest for a coveted reverend-ship my father decided to give up his post as president of the Sociedad De Hermanos and run in a special election for church treasurer.  The previous treasurer had resigned his position and suddenly moved to McAllen, Texas, to be with his family after being diagnosed with terminal cancer.  My dad was a shoo-in and was elected unanimously with only a voice vote.  Things were really looking up and it looked like all the stars were aligned for his eventual promotion to reverend.

Then the bottom fell out.

 

That’s All Folks

 

During an especially well attended Sunday night service there seemed to be an intensely pervading sense of anticipation among the church leadership.  Earlier that day, during the morning’s Sunday school class, the young brother teaching us about Solomon and the horrendous decision that God had forced him to make, seemed oddly distant and distracted—repeatedly losing his train of thought and often giving rambling and disjointed answers to questions posed by his students.

The “after Sunday school lunch”, which had become a regular event since moving into the new church, was particularly extravagant that day.  The usual fare of bean tacos, spicy cheese enchiladas and crispy tostadas had instead been replaced by heaping platters of flour coated deep fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and several different choices of boiled green vegetables.  Hot steaming stacks of freshly made soft flour tortillas were covered in white and blue-checkered cloth towels and were evenly spaced along the center of the picnic-style tables. For dessert, someone had even donated several fruit pies along with a couple of large bags of Mexican pastry.

Sitting with my family at one of the long wooden tables I noticed that my dad had barely touched his plate and seemed quietly pensive during the meal; his fingers absently caressing his shirt’s breast pocket unsuccessfully searching for that non-existent pack of unfiltered Camels.  Finally, looking quickly at his watch he gulped down his cup of black coffee and abruptly stood up.   Easing in behind my mother he bent down and whispered to her that he would be in a meeting with Reverend Villa and we should wait for him on the church steps.  Before she could manage an answer he stepped away and hurriedly walked out of the dining room and back into the main auditorium.  Never letting a food chance slip away, my brother carefully watched as my dad left, and then hastily reached across the table.  He grabbed my father’s still full plate with his left hand and placed it in front of him, while at the same time he pushed his own bone filled plate to where my dad’s had been.  I shot him a glance indicating my disgust, which he returned with a leering grease ringed smile.

The meeting lasted so long that when my father finally emerged he announced that we only had enough time to drive directly home, change clothes, and return to the church in time for the start of the evening service.  On the trip back to the church Ricky kept asking my mother if we were going to have enough time for him to have dinner before the evening service started.  He piped down when my mother assured him that once we got back to the church she’d ask the cooking sisters to see if they could scrape up a leftover tortilla or two.

The service that evening, normally directed by one of the senior church members of our congregation, was instead officiated by a loyal member of Villa’s inner circle, Reverend Juan Rocha, a pastor from one of our sister churches in Galveston, Texas.  Taking the pulpit as the pre-service music was finishing up he asked the congregation to stand and join him in prayer dedicating this service to the Lord.  Just a few minutes into the prayer, and before anyone could really get too possessed by the Holy Spirit, he motioned to Joni to begin the next hymn.  She turned to us, mouthing the title of a particularly solemn hymn, and softly sounded out the key in which it was to be played.

The first few chords of the hymn, accompanied by Joni’s soft alto voice, had the desired effect on the crowd and their prayers and supplications slowly began to subside.  Reverend Rocha began verbalizing ‘amen y amen’, one right after the other, further quieting the people down, and as the last ‘gracias a Dios’ was sounded he motioned everyone to take their seats.  The odd beginning to the service, along with the abbreviated prayers, made the evening service seem more businesslike and less spiritual.

The reverend continued to direct the service in a strangely clipped and truncated manner until it was time for the offering to be collected.  After a short prayer, dedicating the offering to God, he called on a couple of young female members of the Jóvenes De Cristo [Youths for Christ] to come to the front and begin passing the baskets around.  While this was going on Joni led us in a rousing “norteño” style hymn.  This seemed to awaken and draw the congregation back into their normal spiritual rhythm, and for the first time that evening the tambourines came out in full force.  It was during this hymn that I saw Reverend Villa slip quietly onto the altar area through one of the side doors and almost tip-toe across the stage; all the while singing along to the rousing hymn.  He paused, smiled at Reverend Rocha and took his place in front of an empty chair next to my father.  They shook hands and Reverend Villa patted him gently on the shoulder.

As the baskets, now filled with gleaming coins and crumpled bills, made their last pass through the congregation, Reverend Rocha signaled the hymn’s end and waved everyone back down into their seats.  Staring stoically into the crowd he patiently waited for the shuffling, coughing, and throat clearing to finally subside.

Holding tightly to each far upper corner of the pulpit he looked deeply into the congregation and began to speak softly.  He started out by reminding everyone that the church we were now attending existed not only because of a lot of prayer and a lot of sacrifice, but also because of the guidance and vision that Reverend Villa had maintained during his tenure as pastor of the church.  No one, including himself, had ever dreamed that they would ever be worshiping in such a grand place, and they had God first, then the good reverend to thank for this honor.

A loud chorus of holy affirmations came flooding up from the crowded auditorium as Reverend Rocha stepped away from the pulpit.  Villa slowly stood up from his chair, and holding his ever-present white leather bible close to his chest, turned to the officials sitting to his left and smiled broadly.  They all suddenly stood up and began to applaud.

Like a wave that began as a slow ripple, rolling rhythmically from the first row and growing until it reached the very last one, the entire congregation stood and joined in the applause.  Unexpectedly feeling out of place sitting down, I saw Brother Cantú, then the trumpet boys, followed by the drummer and finally Joni, stand.  Putting my guitar down I also stood up.  The adulation went on for two or three long minutes until Villa, arms raised as in surrender, slowly began to motion them all to sit back down.

Ten or fifteen seconds after the last of the congregation sat down Villa began to speak.  A few words in, and large tears started rolling down his cheeks as the news that we all somehow knew was coming was revealed.  He tearfully explained that he would soon be leaving our church to become the special assistant to the president of the Latin American Council of Christian Churches in Kingsville, Texas.  I later found out that the president, a fellow named Francisco Guillen, already in his mid-eighties, was expected to retire (or die) soon, and that Villa, having been groomed for this position for years, would be in place as special assistant to eventually inherit the mantle of leadership.  This was a move that had not been decided on in haste.

As Villa’s words hit the audience most of the women in the audience gasped, some fell on their knees violently shaking their heads back and forth, and others just stared in frozen shock.  Men gaped like zombies, and children, probably sensing the strange and uncomfortable atmosphere, scurried up onto shaking laps.  Handkerchiefs flew out of pockets and purses, and a restrained and painful wailing began to emanate from the hall.

My father, shoulders drooping, head hanging down and supported by his right hand’s thumb and forefinger had joined his chair-mates on the stage and was crying like a baby.  I began to feel a bit uncomfortable watching him like that so I averted my gaze and settled in on Joni.

She, on the other hand, was the picture of calmness.  Sitting comfortably on the piano bench, arms and legs crossed she looked calm—no, bored; right leg over left—swinging up and down.  Not sure of what I should be feeling or doing, I sat back down and lifted my guitar back onto my lap, running through some chords in my mind.

Reverend Rocha by now had somewhat composed himself and was blowing his nose mightily into his yellowed hankie.  After examining his deposit he folded the handkerchief and stuffed it into his front coat pocket.  Shooting a glance toward us he did a little figure eight with his index finger.  Joni immediately uncrossed her legs, turned to us and softly said “G”.  Without further hesitation she launched into a cheery and bouncy little corito that in the past had never failed to lighten the congregation’s mood and raise their spirits.  Soon, everyone was clapping in time, the tambourines were trilling and the crowd was back in their Holy Roller mood.  Even my father, nose red and eyes a bit swollen, was clapping in time to the music, singing away, and looking to the heavens.

With everyone back in Pentecostal mode Villa took the pulpit for the Sunday evening sermon.  He didn’t disappoint.  In high gear, midway through his oration he loosened his tie and went for the home run.  It was righteous chaos and the Holy Spirit descended upon the crowd with a vengeance.  Fiery foreign tongues were shrieking from the three-deep throng at the altar and the reverends and reverends-in-waiting were circulating amongst the devoted encouraging all to greater heights.  We were cycling through every lively corito we knew to the point that the trumpet boys finally blew themselves completely out.  Blowing the spit out of their trumpets they finally just collapsed on their chairs—and mopping the sweat off their faces sat exhausted, legs akimbo looking up at the ceiling.

The service went well past midnight and I knew that I’d be suffering for it all next day at school.  In the car, on the way home I asked my dad if he knew when Villa was leaving.

“Oh, maybe in a month or so.” He said.

I wondered out loud who was going to replace him.

“Some guy…Puerto Rican, I think…from New York.”  He answered, a little detached.  “Rodriguez—Sergio Rodriguez.  He’s been pastoring a church there from our council, and they say he lives somewhere they call The Bronx.”

How odd.  I thought.  I’ve never met anyone from New York, and never even imagined we had a sister church there.  Further, what’s a Bronx, and what in the world is a Puerto Rican doing living there anyway?    

Yeah, I was that clueless.

 

Just A Little Case of Embezzlement

 

The Reverend Villa’s eminent departure turned out not to be so eminent after all.  As one month rolled into another no further mention was made of his reassignment to South Texas and the church-going settled into an unsettled routine.  My dad, anticipating a surprise announcement naming him as a reverend any day now, began to cut his hours down at Younger Brothers; taking half days off here and there, and every once in a while entire days, or sets of days, off.  Those he used to hob-nob with, and accompany Villa, and a couple of other reverends, on day trips to various outlying churches.

On more than one occasion he would be gone for a couple or three days, and upon his return would explain to my mom that having finished their business in one town, Villa had decided to press on to Dallas, or McAllen, or San Antonio—or wherever.  Anyway, he told her impatiently, he was doing God’s work, and it was not proper to question that.

Problem was, God’s work didn’t pay as well as Younger Brothers work, and so we gradually started to regress back into the lean years of old.  My dad’s paychecks, pitifully small due to his many absences, began to fall ruefully short of our household expenses and we began to fall behind in almost all financial categories.  The bitter arguments about money, or the lack thereof, started up again after having been almost non-existent since my parent’s conversion to Pentecostalism.

During one particularly nasty quarrel my mother confronted my dad after learning that he’d not only given Reverend Villa an expensive shotgun for his birthday, he’d also hosted a lavish birthday dinner at an upscale Mexican restaurant for his family and a large group of Villa’s entourage.  The event had occurred while my mom, brother and I were attending a bible study class one Saturday afternoon.  Her sources had informed her that the bill for the meal alone had exceeded well over a hundred dollars; that being even before my father had generously tipped the entire restaurant staff.

Her voice breaking and her eyes brimming with angry tears she demanded over and over for him to reveal the source of the money that he’d so recklessly spent on someone other than his own family.  At first he insisted that all of this was none of her business and that she had no right to demand anything from him.  He kept insisting that he was performing God’s will and being guided by the Holy Spirit; and having been shown the righteous path he must take, no one on this earth had the authority to question his actions.

Several times during the vicious row he tried to disengage by turning and walking away from her, but like a mad bulldog locked in on her quarry she followed him closely, fists clenched and jaw jutted, matching every step of his retreat with one of hers in her advance.

She cornered him in the kitchen yelling at him at the top of her lungs, berating him, and demanding to know how he could afford to give gifts to his friends; and worse, feed them at swanky restaurants, while blatantly ignoring the welfare of his own family.  Finally giving in to her, he turned to face her and made a startling confession.

He said he was using his own paychecks, not to entertain anyone, but to try to stay up with the household bills as best he could.  The money he was spending for the gifts and such was coming from the church treasury that he’d been elected to oversee.  When he found himself long on personal church related entertainment expenses and short on money he found it easy to turn to the treasury and reach into its deep pockets.  So, for some time now he’d been skimming some of the church’s funds to use for these expenses, and since he didn’t have anyone overseeing him directly he wasn’t too worried about getting caught.  But not to worry, he assured her, it was not his intention to use the funds and not ever replace them.  Just as soon as we were back on our feet, and prior to the quarterly conference when the books were audited by the council leadership, he would make good and fully replace the squandered funds.

“Bob!!” My mother said, fear deeply woven into her trembling voice.  “What are you thinking?  And just how much have you taken?”

My father looked up over my mother’s head and saw me standing just outside the kitchen entrance.  “Pancho!  Get back into your bedroom or go outside!  And take your brother with you!”  He suddenly looked and sounded very angry.

“OK.”  I responded quickly walking backward and bumping into Ricky and knocking him on his butt.

“What’s going on?”  Ricky asked as he got to his feet.

“Nothing!  Let’s go outside and shoot some baskets.”  I pulled him by the arm and headed out the back door.

Even out in the back yard I could still hear their voices, rising and falling—sometimes talking over each other—but always very angry.  As I bounced my ball and took free throw shots on my self-built backboard constructed with some old lumber that I’d found in the garage, I tried to make sense of the words I’d heard my dad say.

Taking money from the church funds?  Well, I knew that since he’d been elected treasurer the proceeds of every offering, after having been counted in the back room of the church, had been put into a locking metal box that was subsequently put into and locked in the trunk of our car.  A couple of times, when he had to stay behind to talk to Villa about something or other, he’d asked me to carry the box out and lock it in the trunk.  It was heavy and the thin steel handle hurt my fingers as I lifted it up and put it into the wheel well that had not held a spare tire for years.

“…told you I’ll put the money back….when…”  The words floating out through the kitchen window as my old basketball popped the strings at the bottom of the yellowing net.

“What if…with the new pastor…he’ll know…” all in a quivering voice.

Not wanting to hear more I started running a series of layups followed by some fade-away jump shots; but my brain kept asking me questions.

After shagging of few of my errant shots Ricky had retreated under the house and had probably fallen asleep on the cool bare earth.  Deep in the pit of my stomach I felt an uncomfortable gnawing sensation, and the concentration I was trying to maintain on my jump shot execution began to waver.  The voices that were coming from the house had stopped.

Running to retrieve the ball after it had clanged off the rim and bounced sideways and away from me, a strange new and very unsettling thought seeped into my brain:  I don’t want to live here anymore!

Arriving home from school one Friday afternoon I was surprised to see a Younger Brothers pickup truck in the driveway.  Worse, upon entering the house I was shocked to see our meager belongings haphazardly packed into cardboard boxes.  I ran into the kitchen where my mother was standing in front of the sink looking out the window.  Her back to me it seemed as if she’d not heard me, in spite of the noise I had made throwing my books on the floor and calling her as I ran to find her.

“Mom!  Why are there boxes in everywhere with our stuff in them?”

She continued to stand there, stock-still.

“Mom?”  I called to her, and then I noticed a very small tremor pass between her shoulders.

“Mom?  What’s happening?”

She turned around slowly, and I saw the tears streaming down her face.  At that moment I thought that I’d never ever seen her so sad.  “We’re moving, mijo.  Pack your things in the boxes I left in your bedroom.  Hurry, so we can load them up for the next trip to the house.”

“Where are we going, Mom?  Am I going to have to change schools?”  No answer.

Her eyes, brimming with tears slowly looked downward, and the tears spilled out onto her cheeks—then off, and made little splashes on the linoleum floor.  Her chest shuddered and she made a small mewing sound.  “Oh…mijito.  I don’t know.  No se.  Dios mio.”

“Mom…I don’t understand.  Why are we moving?  Where are we going?  Mom?”  I felt a lump growing in my throat.

“Mijito,” she said sadly.  “I don’t know, I just don’t know.  Please go put your clothes and things in the boxes and help Ricky too.”

By eleven that night we had finally made the last of countless trips, carrying and stacking boxes at the rental house that my dad had apparently contracted without my mother’s knowledge.  It was a small “shotgun” three room house, in a run-down neighborhood in southeast Houston.  About a block and a half east what is now called the La Porte Freeway, it was in a completely different school district that would require my transferring out of Jeff Davis High School.

My brother and I would again be sleeping in the kitchen on our old rollaway beds and keeping our clothes in cardboard boxes.  Because the house was so small my mother’s wringer tub washing machine had to also be stored in one corner of the tiny kitchen; and before we could drag and set up our beds at night the washer had to be rolled out into the middle of the room blocking any possible access to the bathroom.  That made for a few stubbed toes in the middle of the night when our bladders needed relief.

Since I already had my driver’s license I drove our 1955 Ford Fairlane that last moving night with my brother while my dad, accompanied by my mother, drove the Younger Brothers pickup.  As I kept up with the green and white truck, bed filled with our final load, Ricky asked, “Frankie, why are we moving?  I liked that house a lot.”

“I don’t know Ricky.  Mom wasn’t able to tell me and dad wasn’t talking.”

“Well,” he continued, “am I going to go to the same school?

“I don’t think so.  I know we’re in a new district now, but I don’t know what schools are here.”

“Oh man, I liked my school too.”  He said, a little sadly.  Yawning, he drew his legs up onto the seat and laid his head on my lap.  “Yeah, I did, Frankie.  I liked my teacher too.   I really did.”  He sighed deeply and in less than a minute he was sleeping soundly, leaving me to ponder his questions, and mine.  On the radio, Conway Twitty was telling me that “It’s Only Make Believe.”

 

Puppy Love

The arguments between my parents over my father’s use of church money intensified over the next few weeks, and it seemed the only time they weren’t at each other’s throats was when we were attending one of the services in our church, or visiting some other outlying church.  The car trips to and from the services were conducted in total silence, with my mother usually just looking out the window, face stern with her bottom lip permanently pooched out.  My brother and I could sense the tension between them so we kept quiet, mostly communicating with each other in the back seat with hand signals and silently mouthed words.

My father had stopped talking to not only my mother, but to my brother and me as well.  If I dared ask him a question around the house, about anything, he would just mumble, “Go ask your mother.”

Once arriving at a church, and as soon as they exited the car, they would both shift into normal Holy Roller mode and revert back to their “born again” personalities—that is, as long as they didn’t have to talk to each other.  Leaving the car they would drift off in different directions; he, seeking his reverend-bound male compatriots, and she, her gabby sisters in Christ.  That would leave me, struggling to retrieve and lug my guitar and amplifier from the trunk of the car into the church, and Ricky mostly to his own devices.  More often than not he would just sit in the car by himself until my mother called him to join her because the service was about to start.

One Sunday evening after a long drive to one of our churches in Alvin, Texas, where my dad, now in serious training for his reverend’s license, was scheduled to deliver a sermon.  The little church was pastored by a very young man with a wife and a couple of kids.  Word was that he’d caught the Reverend Guillen’s attention while he was visiting Mexico, and the old man had recruited him on the spot to lead the little church.  I assumed he was illegal, or maybe on a worker’s visa, because he was installed as pastor just a few weeks after arriving in Alvin.  Because he had no car for transportation he and his family had to depend on the generosity of his congregation for the first few months of his assignment; and worse, neither he, nor his wife and kids, spoke a word of English.

On that day I had been sitting up on the stage tuning my guitar when I glanced up to see a small group of people coming through the front door.  They immediately attracted my attention because of the way they were dressed, and in the way they carried themselves as they entered through the front door.

For the most part, the membership of these outlying churches, usually located in small rural towns surrounding the Houston metro area, could all be lumped into one demographic: Hispanic, distressingly poor, uneducated, and upper middle-aged and older.  For the most part his or her general demeanor could be described as subservient, with an inborn willingness to blindly follow anyone who displayed any modicum of leadership.  They had probably entered the country illegally at one time or another and seemed satisfied to quietly melt into the local population, finding work in accustomed settings such as farming, ranching, or domestic labor.

The family entering through the front door bore no resemblance to any of the aforementioned characteristics.  Three females, two of them teens, and an adult who I assumed was their mother were led by a tall dark-skinned adult male.  He was dressed in a stylish tan western suit set off by glossy black boots, and was carrying an expensive looking beige Stetson hat in his left hand.  His wife, looking about twenty years younger, and much lighter skinned, was resplendent in a classy black dress, a black silk shawl draped casually over her carefully coiffed jet black hair and crossed fashionably at her waist. Wearing black high heel patent leather shoes, that were probably better suited to a classy night club rather than a plain wood framed church, she seemed to float—left arm hooked to her husband’s right—as they slowly made their way into the small auditorium greeting the earlier arrivals.

But what had really caught my attention was one of the two girls who was following closely behind the adults.  Walking just to the right, and about half a step behind them, a stunningly beautiful young girl was leading her much younger sister by the hand.  Her hair was somewhere between a deep red and chestnut, and had been pulled back into a long ponytail.  A precisely cut set of bangs rested artfully on her forehead that set off her perfect almond-shaped dark eyes and finely chiseled cheekbones.

“¡Pancho!”  Came from behind me and startled me back to reality.

I turned my head to see my dad walking up to me from where he’d been sitting on the stage.

“Oh,” was all I could think of to say. “Uh, just tuning up my guitar.”

“Mira, come with me.  I want to introduce you to los hermanos Ramírez.”  He said, as he put his hand on my back urging me off my chair.

“Who?”

“Put your guitar down.  I met Brother Ramírez some time back at another church and I think you’ll like them.  Come on, let’s go say hello.” He sounded insistent.

Why I needed to know them was beyond my comprehension, and why my dad had to do with these people was a mystery, but if meeting them meant getting closer to that girl who was I to argue.  I set my Gibson down and quickly followed my dad down the two steps at the side of the stage onto the floor.

“¡Hermano y hermana Ramírez!  Dios los bendiga.  ¿Como han estado?”  […God bless you.  How’ve you been?]

Rigorously shaking first the man’s hand, then his wife’s, he turned and said, “Este es mi hijo Frankie.”  [This is my son, Frankie].

I would’ve preferred “Frank”, but I was willing to let it pass.

“Hi.”  I managed, while shaking their hands and trying to keep my eyes off their older daughter.

“Mucho gusto,” the man said in richly accented English.  “So you’re the young man that plays the guitar and sings hymns at your father’s church in Houston?”

“Oh, sometimes.  I’m still trying to learn to play the guitar a little better.”  I responded, feeling a little bit self-conscious.  I kept wondering when my dad would’ve had the opportunity to spend enough time with these folks to have brought my name up—as they seemed to know a lot about me.

“And a beautiful guitar it is.”  He said, pointing to my gleaming Gibson resting on its side by my empty chair by the piano.  “Frankie, let me introduce my wife Yolanda, and my daughters—Estela y Rebecca.”

I had already shaken his wife’s hand, but I did it again anyway, struggling to keep my eyes on her instead of her daughter.  Estela, I thought.  What a beautiful name.

Releasing Mrs. Ramírez’s hand I looked to her left and my eyes locked onto Estela’s.

“Hi Frankie, it’s so nice to meet you.”  Her right arm reached out, dainty hand palm down, exquisitely delicate fingers slightly curled and trembling ever so slightly.  Time all but stopped and as I willed my hand to reach for hers I recall—first anticipating, then wondering—what the touch of her hand on mine would feel like.  Our fingers touched, and at that precise moment everyone and everything around us disappeared.  I felt as if I was floating and remember having no sensation of what was up or what was down.  My entire being was now focused on Estela and for that brief moment nothing else in my life mattered.  I was smitten for the very first time in my life.

“Uh, yes me too.”  Was my pathetic response, but it was the best I could do under the circumstances.  Her hand in mine felt magical and my heart was racing.  Suddenly I worried that maybe my hand was sweaty, so I slowly disengaged but continued to stare into her dark brown eyes.

“Are you going to sing a hymn for us during the special hymn section of the service?” She sweetly asked.

My God, I thought, her voice is wonderful!

“Um…No…I don’t think so.”  Stammering a little, and starting to re-enter reality I realized that her sister, mother, father, and my dad were all staring strangely at me.  I stepped back half a step and unconsciously put my right hand into my pocket.  “Well, maybe—if there’s time.”

A shockingly stiff slap on my right shoulder and my dad answered, “Sure he will!”  And that settled it.

As my listening comprehension returned I realized the adults were now chatting with one another—leaving me, Estela, and her sister slightly isolated and staring at one another.

Racking my newly emptied brain for something to say to keep Estela engaged and looking at me, the moment was shattered when Rebecca abruptly asked, “Are you saved?”

“What? Me?”  I responded, a bit shocked.

“Becca!”  Estela said with more than a little annoyance in her voice.  “You just can’t go around asking people that you don’t know things like that!”

“Why not?” She persisted, crossing her arms over her chest.  “Daddy says we shouldn’t get familiar with people who aren’t saved; they’ll lead you to the devil.”  Hmm, she had no idea.

“Well Becca,” I said, with a little grin, “I promise I won’t lead you to the devil, OK?”

Estela let out a little chuckle, and my heart soared as I realized just how beautiful her smile was.  She wore no makeup and didn’t need to.  Her skin was smooth, just a shade up from what could be described as an olive complexion, and not a hint of acne.  Her upper lip was slightly shaded with a delicate growth of fine facial hair, framing her delicate mouth around perfect white teeth.  She had large expressive brown eyes, and when she smiled she crinkled her nose and tilted her head ever so slightly giving her a pixie-like look.  She seemed to favor wearing her long brown hair in a ponytail or up in a bun; and much like her mother, commanded the attention of any room she entered.  Truly, I had never seen such a dazzling female in all my short life—and that included Joni.

Prior to this time in my life I had not had any real (or unreal) romantic contact with females.  In school, I found that I got along better with girls than I ever did with boys, but all those relationships were always strictly platonic.  For example, during my high school years I found myself always having lunch with about four or five of girls, rather than spending the time with guys.  The jocks and the nerds would always sit at their own tables or gathering in back-slapping and loud groups; and having nothing in common with either I soon found myself gravitating towards girls who were also neither cheerleaders, bimbos, nor future class presidents.

Our little lunch group found that we were not interested in the latest gossip: who was dating whom, or whose heart the quarterback of our school’s football team was currently breaking; and during our thirty minute lunch break we would usually meet at a predetermined spot on the front campus lawn and spend the time chatting about anything other than school.  Because of my fear that even this affable group of friends would not understand the craziness that the Pentecostals considered as normal behavior, I shied away from discussing the subject.  They seemed to be satisfied when I explained that my parents were members of a very religious order and that I was expected to obey every tenet of that religion.

If I had ever found any girl in school that I may have wanted to pursue I could never have done so because of the restrictions that the church and its lifestyle had placed on me.  How could I have ever maintained any kind of romantic relationship with a girl outside of our church when I was prohibited from any kind of dating, dancing, or un-chaperoned involvement with the opposite sex?

In church Joni had been a pleasant distraction for me, but from the beginning I think I understood that because of the position her father held in our church, and her two hovering brothers, she would forever be completely out of my league and utterly unattainable.  I would have to satisfy myself with just enjoying the view.

Estela, on the other hand presented me with a completely different set of alternatives.  Belonging to the Pentecostal religion she was an accepted member of the overall congregation, and her parents, although devout and tithe-paying members of an outlying church, were not installed in leadership positions and thereby politically non-toxic.  It offered me the best of all worlds.  Now all I had to do was to try to win her heart.

After the service, and while I was putting up my guitar, my dad walked over and told me that the pastor had invited us to stay awhile and join him and his wife for some coffee in their pastoral house.  I was a bit annoyed because this development put a huge crimp in the plan that I had been formulating all night during the service that I thought may help me get to know Estela a bit better.

My plan included hurrying up packing my guitar and amplifier, and then quickly melting into the departing crowd.  Once outside I could possibly catch up with her somewhere in the church’s parking area before she left with her family.  If I could somehow separate her from her sister and mother on the way to their car, I could maybe get some valuable information from her: like her phone number.  Now with the invite there was no use in my hurrying since I’d be expected to put my instrument in the car right away and hurry to join my mom, dad, and brother at the pastoral house.

As I walked to our car I tried to see if I could spot the Ramírez family; but since I had no idea what kind of vehicle they drove, the odds of my finding them were pretty scarce.  Since there was no real parking lot—everyone just pulled up to the front of the church and parked on the front lawn—the headlights from the ten or twelve cars that were all trying to back up and pull out onto the main road at the same time blinded me just enough to where all I could really make out was our own car.

Slamming the trunk lid on our Ford I put my head down and headed in the direction of the pastor’s house located just to the back of the church.  In a rather dark mood from having my plans ruined I neglected to see the nice new Pontiac Chieftain parked behind and to the right of our car.

The pastor’s house was small (but still larger than the one we now lived in) and had a fairly large kitchen in the back.  There seemed to be quite a little group gathered in there as I heard my father’s laugh and a few other voices I didn’t recognize.  Head down, I walked up the steps and pulled open the screen door.  Stepping into the warm kitchen I was a little overwhelmed with the nutty aroma of Mexican coffee and the tinkling of coffee cups on saucers.  Looking up to try to find my parents I suddenly found myself staring directly at Estela’s angelic face.

“It’s about time you got here,” she said with a smile.  “I almost went out to look for you but then I remembered that you probably had to put your guitar in the car.  Took you long enough though.”

“Well…” I sputtered, “I didn’t know…you know…that everyone was going to be here.”

“Well,” she replied while handing me a small cup of coffee on a saucer, “not everyone, of course.  Only us important people.”  Tilting her head down and looking up at me she gave me the most deliciously mischievous smile.  “Get it?”  Then she threw her head back and snickered in the cutest way.

Standing there with one hand holding the saucer and the other hand holding the cup, I could do nothing but just look and her and smile.  I wasn’t sure if the surge of pressure that was welling up in my chest was because I wanted to laugh or because I may want to cry.

Making an effort to sound normal I said, “Yeah, I get it.”  That was about all I could manage at that moment.

There was a little table with two chairs set up against one wall that was probably used by the pastor’s small children.  Estela pointed to it and without a word walked over pulled out one of the chairs and sat down.

As I moved towards the table I looked around for the first time since I’d entered the kitchen and saw my dad, the pastor and Mr. Ramirez in deep conversation.  Mrs. Ramirez had engaged my mom, and Ricky and Becca were hanging out by the small counter where some pastries were stacked on a small tray.  I set the cup and saucer down on the table and sat opposite Estela.

Elbows on the table and hands framing her chin she said, “Well, we don’t have too much time so tell me all about yourself in about thirty seconds then I’ll tell you all about me.  Deal?”

“What’ll I do with the other twenty seconds?”  I joked.

“Ha!  That was supposed to be my line, you sneak!”  We both laughed a bit too loud, and I sensed her mother’s eyes on us.

We both talked briefly about our schools and she wanted to know how I learned to play guitar.  I asked how long her family had been attending that church (two years), since I hadn’t seen her in my previous visits.  She looked at my brother and asked if it was just the two of us—and I asked the same of her and Becca.

Then my father called my name.  “Pancho!  Let’s go.  You have to get some sleep.”

“Pancho?”  She asked, tilting her head sideways.  “That’s cute.”

“Well, I don’t think so, but that’s what they call me sometimes.”

I reluctantly pushed away from the table.  “Guess I’d better get.”  I said, as my dad, followed by the pastor, then her dad, went through the door and out onto the small porch.

“When will you be back?”  She asked, suddenly serious.

“I don’t know.  I really don’t.”

“If I gave you our phone number would you call me…I mean, just to talk?  Oh, but you live in Houston so it would be long distance…” she trailed off, suddenly pensive.

It was more that I had ever imagined and I was elated.  “Yes, I promise I’ll call.  But I don’t know when.  I mean, what would be a good time?”

Placing a finger on her lower lip, she said, “Well, maybe any time after three in the afternoon.  Becca will probably answer—she always runs and gets the phone when it rings.”

“Oh, OK.”  I replied.  “I’ll just ask for you, right?  But what if your mom or dad answer?”

“Just tell them who you are.  I think they like you anyway…I can tell.”

My chest was starting to hurt and my throat was closing down fast.  Mercifully, she pulled what looked like a little two-inch pencil out of her tiny purse and dug around for a scrap of paper.

“Ah, here we go.”  As she spread the paper across her palm and wrote her number.

She folded the scrap several times and held it out to me with her thumb and forefinger.  “There!”

“You want mine?”  I asked, almost as an afterthought.

“No, not now.”  She replied.  “When we talk for the first time you can give it to me then.  Anyway, good girls don’t go around calling boys, you know.”  She gave me a charmingly silly grin.

“Oh, right.”  I agreed.

I shoved the little scrap of paper into my pants pocket.  “Well, I guess I’ll see you next time.”  I said—not knowing what else to say.

“Not if I see you first, silly boy.”  With that she walked quickly by me—so close I thought we’d actually touched.  Then she was gone through the door.

My mother, Mrs. Ramirez and the pastor’s wife were slowly walking towards the door when my mom looked around to see where Ricky was.

“Oye, Frankie.  Where’s your brother?”  She asked, eyes darting.

“Umm, he was over there by the cookies when I last saw him.  Maybe he went out to the car.”

I pushed the screen to allow the ladies to exit before me.  “I’ll run out to the car; he’s probably there.”

Hurrying to our car I caught a glimpse of Estela as she was getting into the back seat of that shiny new Pontiac.  I quickly waved, and getting a bit concerned about my brother looked to see if I could see him in the back seat.

Reaching the car I saw him curled up on the back seat.  “He’s here Mom!”  And I walked around to the other side to get in.

The ride home was quiet, the same as it had been for a few months until my dad finally broke the silence.

“You like that little Estela, don’t you, Pancho?”  He asked, as I caught his eyes in the rearview mirror.

“She’s OK.”  I responded, feigning disinterest as well as I could.

“Yeah, well I think you think she’s more than OK, you rascal.”

“Leave him alone Bob!”  My mother snapped, sounding very angry.  “Stop embarrassing him!  That’s what you do best, criticize and embarrass us!  And you, of all people!”

My dad shot a vicious look in her direction.  “What do you mean by that?”  He asked angrily!

“Ha, act like you don’t know!  Acting so holy when you’re with your pals.  If they knew that you’re sneaking around taking money that doesn’t belong to you, I wonder what they’d think?”

Well, that did it, and the war started.  For the rest of the car ride home, and for at least an hour afterwards they argued—yelling abuses at each other.  Inevitably, the subject of the church money came up and the now familiar insults and accusations took flight.

They continued to fight well after getting home and while my brother and I set up our beds in the kitchen.

“Why do they have to fight so much?”  My brother sighed quietly as he crawled into his small bed.  “It makes me so sad.”

“Me too.” I agreed.  “But, at least they’re not yelling at us.  Be thankful for that.”  I added.

Finally, after the lights had been out for some time and I had dozed off only to be awakened several times by their bickering, they—probably exhausted by the intensity of the disagreement—finally quieted down.  Soon I heard my mother’s soft and regular snoring.  I lay there wondering why they, after claiming to having been saved and professing their love for Jesus, could still show such hatred toward each other.

Burying my head under the pillow and squeezing my eyes shut as hard as I could, I tried to picture Estela.  And, on the rollaway next to mine, my brother, oblivious to our parents’ loud threats and hurtful accusations, slept peacefully.

 

Betrayal

 

Returning home from school few days after our trip to the Alvin church I saw that my mother was in a particularly good mood so I decided to ask her if I would be allowed to use the phone occasionally to talk to Estela.  After putting my books down and walking into the kitchen I found her standing by the stove stirring a pot of beans and getting ready to roll out some of her fat little tortillas.  She was humming some tuneless melody as I pulled out a chair and sat at the kitchen table.

“Hi mom.  What’cha doing?”

“Hi mijito—oh, just making some beans and getting ready to cook some tortillas.  “¿Quieres poly-pop?  I just made some and it’s in the ice-box.”  She asked cheerfully.

“Not now, but maybe later.  Where’s Ricky?”  I wondered out loud.

“He’s home somewhere…probably under the house.  You know how he likes to play down there.  I had to make him a tortilla because he was hungry when he got home from school.”  She said wiping her forehead with the top of her hand.

“He’s always hungry!”

“Si, he’s not skinny like you, that’s for sure.”

“Mom, do you think I could use the phone to call someone a couple of times a week?”  I thought I’d go ahead and ask while she was still in good spirits.

“Who, mijito?”  She’d stopped stirring and was looking at me with a curious little smile on her face.

“Uh, just a friend, you know.”

“¿De veras, mijo?  ¿Quién?” [Really?  Who?]

“OK, mom!  Estela!  I want to call Estela!”

“Ah, Estela.”  She said, pointing the wooden spoon at me.  “Bueno, I think that should be OK—pero not for a long time, mijo—I think Alvin’s long distance.”

And so, for the next few weeks Estela and I began our relationship via the newly installed big black rotary phone in the front room.  Since we really didn’t know each other very well, had virtually no friends in common, and lived in different cities, our conversations usually ran out of steam two or three minutes in.  After that we’d just be content in asking each other where in the house we were, or what our parents and/or siblings were doing, or asking if we missed each other when we attended services at our different churches.

I asked her about her family and learned that her dad was a ranch foreman for one of the large ranches owned by a wealthy auto dealer and was located on the outskirts of Alvin.  Since most of the ranch’s employees were Mexican, Mr. Ramírez pretty much ran the whole show.  Sometimes, when the cattle and horses were herded into the Houston stockyards for market he would spend a week or so away from home.

When she asked me about my family I gave her the abridged version, avoiding any mention of the violent arguments my parents seemed to relish—both “pre” and “post” salvation.  After running out of things to say we would have long periods of breathy silence that should’ve made us uncomfortable, but didn’t.  Then during one of those many stretches of silence, and for the first time ever, she said, “Oh Frank, I miss seeing you so very much.”  I thought my heart would burst—and before I thought it, I heard myself saying, “Me too, Estela—me too.”

As part of the agreement I’d made with my parents, I promised that I’d reimburse them the accumulated long distance charges with the proceeds of a little part time job that I’d managed to land at a Mexican restaurant.  So as not to interfere with church services I’d agreed that I’d only work on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays—from five until nine in the evening.  Also, my mother had insisted that I give her twenty-five percent of my earnings every payday to “compensate” her for all the past expenses she had incurred by raising me.  Although I thought that grossly unfair I reluctantly agreed.

Working at the restaurant was grueling work, bussing messy tables and occasionally running a giant automatic dish washing machine—and all for one dollar an hour.  Because of its distance from our house I had to take a bus to and from, and by the end of my shift I would board the homebound Rapid Transit smelling like a giant greasy taco and nursing my scalded fingers.

But the thing I hated the most about the job was what the restaurant manager insisted on calling me.  When I was hired he told me that there were already three other employees there named Frank, and so to differentiate among us all he created different nicknames for each us.  From there on out I was to be known as “Leon”.  So every night that I worked I was supposed to respond to “Leon”; but for the life of me I just couldn’t get used to it.  After calling out “Leon” several times, and me not responding, he’d come racing over to wherever I was and berate me for not listening.

“Leon!! I need table seventeen bussed NOW!”  Or, “Leon!!  Paco has to take a smoke break so I need you to run the dishwasher! HURRY!”  To this day I hate the name Leon.

But, after all was said and done, I understood and accepted that these unpleasant experiences were small sacrifices that I had to endure to make it possible for me to stay in touch with Estela.

For the next few months we visited their church about every two weeks, or so—and usually on Fridays—and I recall literally tingling with anticipation as the day came closer.  Once there, and when not concentrating when playing accompaniments to the hymns and coritos, my time would be spent stealing glances at Estela as she sat with her family.  After the services the pastor would always invite us and the Ramirez family to his little home for coffee, and I would cherish the few minutes that I would be allowed to share with Estela.  Obviously, all we could do was talk to one another, and other than a very brief handshake, no physical contact ever occurred.  But for us, it seemed quite enough.

During one of our mostly silent phone calls, I suggested to Estela that maybe she could talk her parents into attending a few of our church’s Sunday night services, and that way we could see each other more.  She agreed to talk to her mother.  The following Sunday night as I was setting up with the other musicians on the stage, I looked up to see the Ramírez family enter our church and take their seats near the front.  When my father noticed them he waved to me to join him as he walked over to greet them to the service.  I was more than willing.

As time went on I began to notice a change in Estela’s parents toward me.  Instead of ignoring me and speaking only to my mom and dad, they made sure to greet me warmly and seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say.  So, I was just a little surprised when, during one of our visits to their church, they both hugged me warmly and called me “mijo” [my son].

Even with all the arguments still going on at home between my parents, the physical demands that my part time job was making of me, and the pressure of completing my school assignments to keep my grades up, I recall those days as some of the happiest I have ever experienced.  I now believe that I had truly fallen deeply in love with Estela, and she with me.  Even without seeing each other very often we spoke of the existence of an invisible bond that had developed between us; and that bond grew stronger as the weeks and months wore on, and 1958 came to an end.

***

In March of 1959, our council of churches decided to hold their quarterly conference at one of our larger churches in Houston.  Templo Bethel was located in a neighborhood called Magnolia Gardens, and was pastored by an elderly reverend named Andrés Guerrero, who had been there for many years.  In fact, a couple of times my father had mentioned that if Reverend Guerrero kicked the bucket anytime soon, he felt that because of his loyalty (and no doubt bribery), the council may see fit to install him as pastor there.  All he needed now was to somehow expedite the date of the coveted promotion to reverend, so that he’d be ready to take over.

Being the pastor of an established church like Templo Bethel, being just a bit smaller than Templo Jerusalén, would not only be a godsend but it would pretty much put an end to our stretched-to-the-limit financial condition.  In fact, we would sitting pretty for many years to come.  I assumed that my father would be doing a ton of politicking during the conference.

The quarterly conferences, held during an entire weekend within each quarter, was mandatorily attended by all the pastors and church officers assigned to the churches in our region.  It usually kicked off on a Friday evening and concluded Sunday night with a giant evening service.  This particular church, almost as large as ours, had a big detached kitchen and dining room—so breakfast, lunch, and dinner would be served on Saturday, and breakfast and lunch on Sunday.

The main purpose of the quarterly conferences was for Reverend Guillen, and his inner ring of confidantes, to scour the financial books of every church to ensure that all the tithes and offerings were properly documented; but more importantly, to ensure that he was receiving a full ten percent of each church’s income.  This “tithe” was in addition to the council’s payment for his yearly salary, his monthly stipend to maintain his large residence, complete with domestic help, in Kingsville; and of course, his new Cadillac which was replaced yearly.  His children, grandchildren, and various other relatives also had their formal education funded, and while in college had their living expenses taken care of.

Although worship services were held on Friday night, Sunday morning, and Sunday evening—Saturday was reserved for the public airing of each of the church’s financial books.  In turn, each church’s treasurer, or pastor in the case of the very small churches, would take the pulpit—green and red ledgers in hand, and read aloud each financial entry entered for each day of the quarter.  The church council’s treasurer, a licensed CPA, would then compare each entry as it was read aloud with the entries that he had personally logged at the time of receipt.

All this check and cross check financial business, instead of being conducted by the primaries in private—or at least in a room by themselves—was instead conducted in the open church with a full congregation in attendance.  This, I was told, was mandatory so that the membership could see that all the church’s business was open and transparent and not conducted in secrecy.  To say that this was mind-numbingly boring would be a gigantic understatement.

The sessions were conducted in two-hour segments with a thirty-minute break in between, but even so it was pure torture to sit there with nothing to do but listen to dates and numbers for two solid hours.

The week before the conference I asked Estela if her parents were planning on attending.  She said she didn’t think so, as neither her father nor mother were church officials; and besides, the church membership was so small that their pastor would be able to handle their short financial disclosure in less than ten minutes.  I explained to her that my interest was not in their financial statements but in my being able to see and spend a little time with her.  She promised she’d talk to her folks again and let me know not later than that Friday.

At home during the week prior to the conference, my father seemed extraordinarily preoccupied with reconciling our church’s books.  The tension between my mother and father was so thick you could cut it with a knife, and Ricky and I concentrated on staying out of their way whenever my parents were in the house together.

What I didn’t realize then, and only came to understand many years later, was that because of my father’s constant dipping into the church treasury, he was having great difficulty making the books balance.  And my mother, never a shrinking violet, was making life hard for him by constantly reminding him that if anyone from the church ever found out, not only would we be excommunicated, it was very likely he would go to prison.

It is greatly ironic that before we became a family of devout Christians we had little or no money because my father was spending the majority of his paychecks on drinking and entertaining his friends.  Now, after divine salvation, we found ourselves in the same financial predicament due to my father’s habit of using church money to wine, dine, and buy expensive gifts for his church buddies.  Either way, we—his family—seemed to always be getting the short end of the stick.  In the end, I don’t know how he pulled it off, (although I suspect my uncle Frank must’ve come through with a huge loan), but come Saturday our church’s books were balanced.

The Friday night service preceding the conference at Templo Bethel was so well attended that after all the pews had been filled and standing room had run out, a large group of mostly latecomers actually participated in the service while standing outside.  To facilitate their participation, the reverend leading the service asked that all the windows and doors be left open so that the throng gathered outside in the front, and along the sides of the church, could partake in the service.

Since I was part of the church band my seat was guaranteed on the stage, and my father, being a church official, was seated behind the pulpit with all the other church council dignitaries.  My mother and brother were seated on one of the front pews accompanied by Mrs. Villa and her family.

During the prayer prior to collecting the offering I casually looked up and while scanning the large congregation thought I saw a familiar face.  Bowing my head down for a few seconds so as not to attract too much attention, I looked back up and saw Estela’s father standing against the wall next to the open front door.  Next to him was his wife, but as hard as I tried, I could not find Estela or Becca.  Then once everyone sat back down during the offering I saw the girls standing a few feet away from their parents.  Despite the distance from the stage to the front door Estela must’ve seen that I’d found her and, raising her hand discreetly, wiggled her fingers and gave me a beautifully big smile.  My heart swelled and suddenly the service became much more interesting.

After the service I didn’t bother putting my guitar in its case—just leaving it leaning on my chair.  I hurried out the side door hoping to find Estela in the large and milling crowd.

“Frankie, Frankie!”  I heard from behind me.  Looking over my shoulder I saw that it was Becca calling my name.

“Hey, kiddo!”  I cheerfully said.  “Where’s the rest of your family?”

“You mean, where’s my sister, don’t you?”

“Well…that too.”  I answered, with a little snicker.

“Mom and Dad are in the car waiting for us.  Estela told them she had to go to the bathroom.”

“Ah, OK.”

Becca tipped her head a little and glanced behind me.  “There she comes.  I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.”  She laughed out loud…proud of her little comment.

“Becca!  Stop it!”  Estela said with a little irritation in her voice.

I turned, and Estela was walking toward me, at the same time grimacing at Becca.

“Make yourself useful and go tell Dad I’m on my way.”  Estela ordered.

“OK, but don’t kiss too much!”  With that, Becca let out a loud childish giggle and ran off, elbows flying, towards the street.

“She’s so annoying!”  Estela said, exasperated.

“That’s what little sisters are for.”  I answered, smiling.

She waved her hand in front of her face, as if to shoo a mosquito.  “Oh, I know.  But, look.  I don’t have too much time since mom and dad are waiting.  OK, dad took off from the ranch for this weekend, after I nagged him so much, so we’ll be here tomorrow and Sunday.”

“Really?”  I said, trying to hold in my excitement.  “That’s great.”

“I know.  It’s just not fair that we live so far apart and can’t see each other more.”  She lamented.

I wanted so much to reach out and touch her face.  Instead, I forced myself to cross my arms.

“Yeah,” I said softly, “but thank God we can talk during the week.”

She looked behind me to my left and said, “Oh, oh.  Here comes your dad.  I’d better go.”

“See you tomorrow…” Was all I could say before she quickly turned on her heel and headed away from me.

Trying not to look too disappointed, or too interested in her receding figure, I turned to see my dad walking toward me accompanied by Villa.

“Hi dad.  Reverend Villa.”  I quietly said.  “Dad, do I have time to get some chocolate from the comedor [dining room] before we go?  Oh, and I gotta get my guitar, too.”

“Sure!”  My dad answered.  “I’ll see you at the car.”

As I walked by them I heard my dad continue his conversation with Villa, and I noticed Villa looking curiously at something over my shoulder.

We arrived at the church the next day at seven in the morning, even though the “accounting service” wouldn’t start for another two hours.  After having some tamales and menudo for breakfast I went into the near empty church to tune my guitar and practice a bit on the piano.

I’d been on the stage for about fifteen minutes when I looked out one of the side windows and saw Estela, Becca, and her parents walking into the comedor.  My heart jumped and I decided that maybe a nice cup of hot chocolate would be great right about then.

By the time I got my guitar put up and had walked out the door, I saw Estela come out of the comedor by herself holding a steaming cup of chocolate.

“Hi!”  I said excitedly.

“Hola, guapo.”  [Hello, handsome.]  Her answer accompanied with a loving smile.

I decided that I really didn’t need anything else to drink so we just stood right outside of the comedor talking quietly.  During our conversation several reverends and church members that I knew from other churches walked by and greeted us warmly.  But unbeknownst to me, there was someone inside the comedor who was watching us intently.

In what seemed too little time Estela said she should go and join her family in the church as the service was just about to begin.  She turned, walking to the front of the church, and I popped into the comedor to grab a polvorón [Mexican sugar cookie].

A few minutes later I was up on the stage with the rest of the band, having finished warming up the congregation with a rousing hymn.  After the congregation took their seats I expected one of the reverends sitting behind the pulpit to start the proceedings by first introducing the church council’s CPA, then calling for the first church’s treasurer in the queue to come up and put us all to sleep with an endless set of droning numbers.  Instead, he announced that Reverend Villa had a very important message to share with the congregation.

As Villa stood up from his chair and ambled toward the pulpit, white leather bible in hand, he shot a quick look in my direction.  I smiled—he didn’t.

He stood there, almost hugging the pulpit with both hands.  Then he started:

(Reverend Villa made the following comments to the congregation that morning in Spanish.  But, because I do not remember everything he said word for word, I will instead paraphrase what I do remember, in English).

“May the Lord bless you and yours this morning; and may He continue to bless our council of churches.  What we do today, and everyday, is dedicated to God, and the Son he sent to us to die on the cross for our wicked sins.

“Brothers, I have often spoken to the constant battle that rages every second of each day between those of us who have been saved by the blood of Jesus and baptized by the Holy Spirit, and the enemy of all that’s good and holy—Satan.

“Although we sometimes forget that he watches our every step, looking for any crack in our holy armor that he may penetrate and enter our hearts, he never rests nor does he tire.  If he sees even the smallest fault in our devotion he will breach that weakness and plant his vile seed.  And if we do not have the Lord as our constant protector, that seed will grow and darken our souls until we wither and fall to temptation and finally to eternal fiery oblivion.  Then, our souls are lost forever.

“As one of God’s chosen shepherds here on Earth, brothers, it is my responsibility to search for and root out those vile seeds of sinfulness.  Yes, it is a heavy charge, but I bear it because I am committed to protect the flock that Jesus has given me.  I am constantly on the lookout for those within my flock that would stray—first a short way, then after accepting Satan’s temptation, far away into sure danger and possible death.

“Today, my beloved brothers, I have seen Satan pulling one of our young lambs away from the safety of the fold.  And, in his wickedness, not satisfied with taking just one, the dark force laid his tempting trap for yet another.  This… brothers and sisters, I cannot allow.  I must act; I must raise the alarm; and finally, I must punish so that Satan’s future trickeries are not so tempting to these young souls.

Then, turning to face me, he solemnly said, “Little brother DeLeón, please stand.”

My heart stopped, and my legs turned to rubber.  Somehow, I stood and a deep throbbing pain began pulsing deep in my guts.

He continued:  “This young brother is someone I love so very much…almost as much as I do my own sons.  And because I love him and the Lord loves his soul, I must do what I have to do.

Then he looked out into the congregation.  After a few seconds he said: “Little sister Estela Ramírez, please stand.”

I was shaking like a leaf and I felt the bile rising in my throat.  I ventured a look into the audience and found my mother.  Her face was a mask of terror—her handkerchief held to her mouth and her eyes wide and brimming with tears.

Although the church was filled to capacity not a sound escaped the crowd.

A shuffle of skirts and Estela rose from her seat near the back of the auditorium.  She was sobbing and her mother and father sitting next to her had their heads down.  Becca was holding her hand over her mouth and crying softly.

Villa continued:   “The church is hallowed ground, so sayeth the Lord.   It is not a place for chicanery, nor is it a place for fornication—physical or mental.

“This, my holy brethren, is what Satan has tempted these two people to do.  And this is what these two young people are guilty of.  I have seen it with my own eyes.

“Perhaps the dark prince has convinced them that what they are doing is innocent.  It is not!  Surely, given enough time, and without holy intervention, Satan will eventually lead them from what they ‘innocently’ do today on the grounds of our holy place of worship, to eventual acts of depravity and debauchery.  This, I will not allow.  And I, as the ordained shepherd of this holy flock hereby step in between them and the great Satan.  He will not take their souls!

“Now brothers, let us all rise and pray for these two innocents.  Let us grab the devil by his very horns and throw him out!  For these souls belong to the Lord and they will not be sullied.”

As if they were puppets on strings, the entire congregation rose as one.  I felt as if I was going to faint, and in the space of those few minutes my shirt was soaked with sweat.  A great howl sprang from the congregation as all their voices combined to yell the devil out of the church.  I couldn’t move.

Unexpectedly I felt a hand touch my neck.  I turned, frightened and expecting to see Satan grabbing me and pulling me down into his fiery pits.  Instead I saw brother Cantú.  On his face was a kindly smile.  A tear rolled down his puffy cheek as he pulled me close to him.  In his deep gruff voice he said, “Don’t listen to any of this my little friend.  In the eyes of the Lord you have done nothing wrong.  Truly, you have done nothing wrong.”

He pressed his brown forehead onto mine and whispered, “That evil man will pay in hell for what he’s done to you and that little girl here today.”

As much as I wanted to answer, I could not.  My throat was clamped shut.  I pulled away from his grip and somehow took the steps off the stage and ran out the side door.

In the back seat of our car I was finally able to breathe.  A deep and bitter sob finally fought through and found its way from my broken heart, thundering out in the hot locked car.

***

I never saw or heard from Estela ever again.

Years later someone told me that the Ramírez family had moved out of Alvin, and had never returned to the little church.  No one seemed to know, or maybe they didn’t want to say, where they had gone.

In December of the following year I kept the vow that I had made to myself that fateful day sorrowfully locked away in that hot car at Templo Bethel.  Six months after high school graduation, and against my parents’ wishes and supplications, I left home and joined the United States Air Force.

I would never set foot in another Pentecostal church again.

Let The Music Begin

Let The Music Begin

 

Satan, From The Stretch

 

By the time I was a sophomore in high school my family was so well entrenched into the religion that we were now not only attending every single service that was held in the church during the week, we were spending most Saturday afternoons attending bible study classes; and most all day Sunday attending morning, afternoon (prayer circle), and evening services.

Within a few months of his conversion, my father (with the lobbying help of the reverend) had been elected president of the Sociedad De Hermanos (The Society of Brothers), a post that required him to ensure that the adult male membership was regularly attending the Thursday and Sunday night services, was active in recruiting new members, and most importantly, tithing at least ten percent of its earnings into the church coffers. The female and the integrated youth memberships had similar leadership posts and comparable responsibilities.

In fact, Reverend Villa had been so successful in building up the old church’s membership and wealth that by late 1957 he had been able to arrange the sale of the church building, along with its adjacent dining room, to an aspiring young black preacher and his budding congregation. During the few years that we had been attending our church the surrounding neighborhood had slowly evolved from a mostly Hispanic population to one now predominantly black. The black reverend’s growing congregation, lacking a proper meeting place, was elated when it was announced that their leadership had purchased our little church—especially because for the last few years they’d been holding their spirited services under a circus-like tent a couple of blocks away.

Both reverends considered the transaction a holy act of God.

With the proceeds from the sale of the church, and a healthy infusion of cash from the treasury, Reverend Villa was able to make an eighty percent down payment on a mortgage for a recently vacated Methodist Church. And with a couple of year’s worth of “special offerings” and a little arm-twisting on the tithing, the remaining twenty percent should be paid off.

The Methodist church’s previous owners, noting that their neighborhood had recently added a couple of fairly affluent but still very Hispanic neighbors, decided to quickly reassess their future “temple of worship” needs. After a meeting with the church elders they all agreed that the handwriting on the wall appeared to be written in Spanish. So taking quick stock of their finances they listed the building at a bargain price hoping for a quick sale. At the same time they went hunting for a more appropriate location, and in no time their realtor came back to the church leadership with the news that he’d found a newly vacated property conveniently located in a more…appropriate area. Clearly this was yet another act of God.

The Methodist church, easily four to five times the size of our old church, was barely ten years old, and its location in the still mostly white middle class subdivision was definitely a step up for our congregation. The property consisted of a main auditorium and two attached buildings that housed meeting rooms, classrooms, and a fully equipped kitchen and dining room.

Centrally heated and newly air-conditioned (a rarity during this time), the church’s main auditorium was finished with nicely upholstered theater style seating, a built-in sound system, a three-tiered altar area with a large pulpit, and a set of retractable hidden steps behind the pulpit that would allow the congregation to be able to fully view even the very shortest preacher. On one side of the altar, and on a slightly raised stage on the top tier, sat a large black grand piano (included in the deal), with plenty of room (and electrical hook-ups) for amplified instruments and two sets of drums. The floor was richly carpeted, the walls exquisitely draped, and the main auditorium was illuminated by several grandly ornate crystal chandeliers. During prayer circles, meetings, and meditation services, the chandeliers were left off and soft illumination was provided by what later would become known as track lighting—strategically installed in the church’s tall peaked ceiling.

It took just a few days to move into the new building, and most of that time was taken up with moving the kitchen equipment and utensils from the old dining room to the new one. Of course my father volunteered to help and ended up doing most of the work. Already planning to retire from his job at Younger Brothers, he took a few unpaid days off, borrowing a trailer from the paint shop to help move the larger items. On Saturday he pressed me into indentured servitude, sorting and putting away silverware, pots and pans, and the church’s ample supply of mismatched dining ware. I did get a nice supper afterwards from the grateful and very happy cooking sisters.

The following day the very first Sunday school service was held, and as part of the opening ceremonies Reverend Villa announced that from that day forward the church would be known as “La Nueva Iglesia Pentecostal de Jerusalén”. A spiffy new, and very expensive, sign saying just that would soon be delivered and would hang proudly over the two large oak doors leading into the main auditorium.

This church was so remarkably different from what the congregation had grown accustomed to that for the first few weeks of services instead of concentrating on the various aspects of the service, including the sermon, most of them spent their time—heads back and necks craned—gawking at the beauty and opulence of the exquisite mahogany woodwork, the luxurious carpeting and drapery, and the lavish lighting. It was not until Reverend Villa finally had all he could take and delivered a scathing Sunday night sermon titled, “Satan’s Clever Little Temptations”. In it he angrily pointed out to the highly distracted congregation that the devil could covertly but effectively work his evil black magic by simply diverting attention and focus from Godly matters to the seemingly harmless, but ultimately damning, admiration of beautiful earthly objects.

Using examples including the worship of golden calves, the salty transformation of Lot’s wife at Sodom & Gomorrah, Judas’s thirty pieces of silver, and even John the Baptist’s head-removing infatuation with the beautiful but deadly Salome, he bluntly reminded them all of man’s fatal and sinful lust for beauty and his resulting inevitable fall from grace. Villa, pacing furiously from one side of the altar to the other, harangued the membership (in magnificent eardrum splitting stereo); and with sweat flying and spittle spraying, reminded them that this type of sin, although just short of idolatry, would just as surely result in their permanent and eternal damnation deep in the pits of fiery Hell. I wasn’t even saved and it terrified the hell out of me.

The call to the altar at the end of the sermon that night was extraordinarily well attended, even attracting the usually disinterested trumpet players; and the customary “mea culpa” cries from the most devout of the group seemed extra-energetic and exceptionally vocal.

As my mother left her seat to join the kneeling, screaming, and wildly arm-waving throng at the foot of the altar, she shot me a look that said, “Get your sinful ass up and follow me to the altar or you’ll surely fry in Hell for eternity.” Cowed momentarily by her silent but deadly invitation, I started to get up when out of the corner of my eye I saw Joni leave her front row seat and glide deliciously up to the piano.

Fully aware that the devil had just thrown me a vicious curve ball, I nevertheless made a quick decision to go ahead and take a full swing at it anyway. See, from where I was sitting, even though I couldn’t see her face, I had a perfect view of Joni’s beautifully flawless legs. And as she manipulated the foot pedals I would surely score an occasional flash of her lust-provoking upper thighs. Ignoring my mother’s burning glare I slid back into my seat, crossed my legs and focused my attention on the drummer, the bass player and that beautiful shiny black grand piano. Hi Satan. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Frankie.

 

Frankie Gets An Ax

 

On the way home one evening, after a later than usual Sunday night service and a few months after moving into the new church, my father caught my eye in the rear view mirror while we were stopped at a traffic light and said, “¿Oye, Pancho? You awake?”

“Yup.” I answered disinterestedly.

“How’d you like to learn to play guitar?”

“What?! Guitar? Why?” I was dumbfounded.

“Well, I think you oughta learn to play so maybe you can sit up on the stage with those other fellows in the church.” He said, as the Dodge shuddered through the intersection protesting my dad’s bad habit of shifting to third gear directly from first.

“I don’t have a guitar, dad.” I asked, trying to talk over the moaning of the little engine. “How’m I gonna learn to play one without one?” I quizzed.

“Yeah,” my brother piped in from the other side of the seat, “he don’t have one, daddy.”

My mother spun around in her seat, “¡Cállate, Ricardo! Tu papá is not talking to you!” Then turning back to my dad, “Are you Bob?”

Looking quickly to his right my dad started to say something to her, but probably thought better of it. Instead he looked back up to the mirror. “We could buy you one, boy. A cheap one, you know—cheap.”

“How cheap?” I asked curiously, wondering about the quality and size more than the cost.

“Yeah viejo, how cheap?” My mother asked, now turning her full attention to my dad and cocking her head just so.

“Ay, I don’t know, vieja. I’ll have to find one first. I don’t know, maybe twenty-five dollars?”

“¡Estás loco, viejo!” (You’re crazy!) She yelled, startling me. “Twenty-five dollars is a lot of money. Where we gonna get that kind of money from, huh?”

I sensed a big fight coming on, and apparently so did my brother as he flopped over on the seat bringing his knees up to his face and squeezing tightly into a fetal position.

“Look vieja, if you don’t mind, I’m talking to Frankie now. So could you please just butt out and let me talk to my son without you trying to stick your two cents in?” He was getting a bit exasperated.

“Sure,” she replied in a singsong way. “Now he’s suddenly ‘your son’, now that you want to spend twenty-five dollars on a stupid guitar. Ha!”

“Got…” he clipped the full word short. “Dios mío, could you just pipe down, vieja? Please?”

“Fine!” She snapped her head forward and stared out the windshield. “Go ahead and talk to…your son! Fine!!” She crossed her arms angrily and whispered, under her breath but loud enough so she could be heard over the straining engine, “Estás loco, viejo pendejo.” (You’re crazy, you ignorant old man.)

Sucking in a very long breath he jammed the gearshift straight up into second gear, finally realizing that the car was about to stall out. “Dios, dame paciencia.” (God, give me patience.) He whispered to himself—and through the mirror I saw him rolling his eyes.

After a few minutes of silence, except for the strains of the Dodge’s tortured engine, “OK Pancho, listen. Tomorrow during my lunch hour I’ll borrow a pickup from work and I’ll check around to see what I can find. There’s a Jew pawnshop close to the paint shop and I know I they gotta have guitars. If I find one there I know I can bargain those cheap kike bastards down to a fair price. What’d you think?” (Even washing him in the blood of Christ didn’t seem to have cleansed him of his anti-Semitic comments.)

“OK.” I said softly. “But how am I going learn to play? Teachers cost money, right?”

My mother snapped her head to the left and with a snarl said, “Yeah Bob, teachers cost money!”

Completely ignoring her now, “OK, I’ll buy you a book. You’re smart. You can learn from the book. I’ll see if they have one they can throw in with the guitar.”

“Book, book, book! Learn with a book!” My brother mumbled from his dark side of the seat. I pinged him on top of his head.

“Ow!”

“Well,” I said to my dad as I tried to block my brother’s retaliatory kicks. “I guess that’ll be OK.”

“Sure,” my dad said, “you’ll learn to play, and before you know it you’ll be sitting up on the stage with the rest of the musicians.”

Wait! Hmmm, I thought, being able to sit up on the stage really close to Joni without incurring the redheaded brothers’ wrath. Well, that may not be so bad after all.

“OK.” I said, trying not to sound too interested.

I guess a couple of weeks went by when one late afternoon my dad came home from work and called for me from the porch.

“Oye Pancho, ven para acá.” (Come here.)

Putting down my homework I got up from the kitchen table and fell in behind my brother, who upon hearing my dad’s voice had speedily left my mother’s side where he’d been hungrily surveying her every move as she cooked up some watery rice with tomatoes and refried beans for dinner.

“We’re coming daddy!” My brother screamed as he flew through the screen door and onto the porch.

“¿Donde está tu hermano?” (Where’s your brother?) My dad asked as Ricky flew into his arms.

“Aquí estoy.” (Here I am.) I said as I came through the door and stepped out on the porch. “What’s going on?”

“Well boy, let’s take a look in the back seat and see what we got.” He responded cheerily as he turned and walked down the stairs toward the car as he swung my brother from one arm to the other.

“Go ahead and open the door, boy.” He instructed cheerfully.

I opened the door and pushed the front seat back up towards the steering wheel. On the back seat sat a black case, in the shape of a guitar.

“Is it a real guitar, dad?” I asked excitedly.

“Lemme see, lemme see!” Ricky yelled as he tried to squirm out from my dad’s arms.

“¡Cálmate Ricardo!” My dad said angrily. “Esa guitarra es para Frankie.” (That’s Frankie’s guitar.)

Reaching into the back and grabbing the handle I pulled out the black cardboard box. The lightness of the case surprised me as I thought that a guitar would be a little heavier than that.

“Let’s get it inside so you can open it and see how you like it. I’m sure you’re gonna be surprised.” My dad said excitedly.

Lugging the case up the stairs and into the house my dad put my brother down and followed me in.

Dashing around me as I pushed through the door, Ricky began yelling as he headed for the kitchen. “MOM! COME QUICK! FRANK GOT A NEW GUITAR AND IT COST A LOT!!”

Well, that certainly set the tone. Hearing my brother’s hysterical yells my mom came out of the kitchen still holding a large dark blue speckled porcelain spoon dripping runny tomato sauce.

“I knew it, Bob! How much did you spend on that stupid thing?” She asked breathlessly, sending thick droplets of reddish sauce airborne as she menaced us with the spoon.

“¡Ay vieja! Why do you have to be like that? I told you I would Jew those bastards down, didn’t I? God….” He stopped the curse short.

Ricky, having started everything magically disappeared by suddenly scurrying out the back door and was now no doubt crawling for safety under the house.

“Aw…. you!” Was the best she could come up with as she spun on her heel and retreated back into the kitchen with my dad following her closely.

Turning my attention to the black case I tuned my parents’ yelling out and looked to see how it opened. The case was made in the shape of a guitar, and after laying it on the floor I saw it had three latches: one on the neck, another midway down and the third on the bottom.

Snapping open the latches I lifted the top up and got my first look at the instrument. A slightly dusty and woody smell drifted up from the green felt-lined case, and lying snugly inside was a mid-size concert style six-string guitar. Lightly tinted blondish wood made up the main body, darkening to deep reddish brown near the round sound hole. An ebony neck sectioned with brass frets supporting six shiny gold strings.

Picking the instrument up with one hand on the neck and the other supporting the body, I noticed how light the guitar felt. In a concealed compartment in the case I found a small cardboard box with three different colored plastic picks in a waxed paper envelope. A colorful length of thick twine was coiled up at the bottom of the box, and after pulling it out and inspecting it, I determined that it was probably meant to be some sort of shoulder strap that attached to the neck and the little button-like attachment at the base of the guitar.

The yelling in the kitchen was subsiding a bit as I put the guitar down carefully and looked back inside the case. There was a large white envelope that contained a thin, but colorful, pamphlet. Pulling it out I saw the bold black title: “Your New CENTURY Guitar Instruction Manual—With Practice Songs And Chords Included!” The sub-title read: “Learn To Play In No Time!”

“Well Pancho? What do you think?” It was my dad asking, and I was a bit startled, as I hadn’t even noticed that the yelling had stopped.

“Oh gee dad, I don’t know what to think. It looks new.” I stuttered.

“Yeah boy, it’s brand new!” He said proudly. “And…” he paused for effect, “it was only twenty dollars! Those Jews wanted thirty-five dollars, since it was new, but I held my ground and ended up paying only twenty. Pretty good, eh boy?”

“Yeah,” I said, still inspecting the little guitar trying to read the label pasted on the inside through the sound hole. “But I thought that a new guitar would cost much more.”

“Well sure!” He added. “If it was a Gibson or a Martin—but that there’s a Century. Not a real famous brand, you know, but it’ll do the job. After all, you’re not a Carlos Montoya yet.” He ended with a chuckle while snapping his fingers and doing a quick flamenco heel stomp.

I had no idea what a Gibson or a Martin was; nor did I have the faintest idea who Carlos Montoya was. I was more an Elvis man during those days.

“Oh, right.” Was all the response I could think of.

Grabbing the guitar from me he sat down on the bed (their bedroom was part of the front room of the house) and cradled the instrument over his crossed leg. With his stiff right index finger he roughly strummed down across the strings, eliciting the most horrendous sound I had never imagined a guitar could make.

“Um, looks like it needs tuning up, eh boy?”

“I guess.” I ventured. “How do you do that?”

“Gotta twist these keys at the top of the neck until each string is tuned and sounds right. Read the book, boy. Read the book! I’m sure that’ll be right in the front.”

I picked the book back up and opened the thin cover. The first page basically congratulated me on my “wise purchase” and explained how I was just hours away from entertaining friends, family, and being the life of every party. The next few pages were devoted to explaining, via diagrams, how to hold the instrument, how to properly strum the strings, what each string’s assigned key was, and—finally—how to properly tune each string. First, it suggested that I tune it to a piano.

“Dad! It says I need to have a piano to tune each string!”

“Bullcrap!” He said. “You shouldn’t have to need a piano for that. Here, let me see the book.”

“Here, look!” I insisted, pointing to the words printed over the diagram of a piano keyboard. “It says to sound the low E on a piano and tighten or loosen the top string until its sound matches the piano’s.” I whined.

Grabbing the book from me he looked at the diagram then turned the page. “Here!” He said. “It says here that if you don’t have access to a piano you can use a ‘Chord-O-Matic’.”

“What’s a Chord-O-Matic?” I asked simply.

“Wait!” He said, as he continued to read. “OK, it looks like it’s a small harmonica; and when you blow in its six different holes the sound that each string should be making is produced. There! See? Don’t need no doggone piano!”

“Dad?” I ventured to ask. “Is there a Chord-O-Matic included with this guitar?”

“Well. Well, I’ll be da…. darned!” He exclaimed running his hand through his hair. “Those crafty little kikes got to me after all!”

“How?”

“Well, when I paid them for the guitar this one Jew-boy asked me if I wanted a Chord-O-Matic to go along with the guitar. Said he could let me have one for a few more dollars. Thinking that they were trying to pull a fast one and try to sell me some other instrument we didn’t need I told him that I already had one. Crap!”

“So how much did he say it would cost?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t ask.” He said a bit dejected now.

Probably attracted by the hideous sound the guitar had made when my dad strummed it, Ricky, knees smeared with dirt, came hopping into the room. “Wow, can I play it?”

“NO!” I exclaimed, and picked up the guitar to put it back in the case. “And, that also means you can’t take it out of the case either.”

Not satisfied with my answer he said, “Dad, can I play it?”

“No mijo. That’s Frankie’s guitar. Besides we need a Chord-O-Matic.”

“What’s a chordamakic?” Ricky asked.

“Nada mijo.” My dad said. “Just don’t touch Frankie’s guitar, OK?”

With that the guitar went back into the case and my dad slid it under the bed.

Yelling from the kitchen while making as much noise as possible while setting the table, my mom said, “OK, enough about that stupid and ugly sounding guitar. It’s time to eat.”

Never having to be called to the table twice, my brother leaped off the floor, leaving a dusting of dried mud flakes on the linoleum, and scurried into the kitchen yelling, “Mamá, I want muchos frijoles!”

My dad made a beeline for the restroom and I slowly got up, still leafing through the pamphlet. After a couple of pages, illustrating how to form chords, I came to the songs section. There were two songs with small chords printed above the music and the lyrics. The first song was “Old Black Joe”, and the second one was, “When The Saints Come Marching In.”

Oh yeah, my days of entertaining friends and family were right around the corner—and just as soon as I mastered those two hit songs I should be a real star.

 

Frankie Joins The Band

 

A few days later my father came home from work and presented me with a brand new Chord-O-Matic with which to tune my guitar. Similar in sound to a harmonica, it was flat and circular, and had six small holes along the outer edge—each corresponding to a particular guitar string note: E, A, D, G, B, E. Blowing into each hole would produce a harmonic sound, and all one had to do then was to tighten or loosen the string’s key until it produced the same sound.

Everyday, after school, (and before my homework), I would spend most of my time tuning and re-tuning the cheap little guitar, as it refused to stay in tune for more than an hour at a time. Between tunings I practiced my finger placements as displayed in the book for the various keys and their related chords. After a few days I found that the fingers on my left hand ached miserably and the tips of my fingers, save my thumb, were excruciatingly sore.

One day in school, as I pondered a tricky question while taking a test in Mr. Krohn’s[1] English class on Shakespearean literature, I was tapping my fingers on the desk when I noticed that the ends of the four fingers on my left hand were becoming…well, hard. Curious, I put my pencil down and began to study the tips of my fingers with tremendous curiosity, marveling at the degree of hardness by rubbing each one in turn with my thumb.

Mr. Krohn, whose eagle eyes never missed anything in his class, abruptly ripped me from my hypnotic digital fascination by quietly sneaking up behind me, and in his best stage projection voice bellowed:

“Mr. DeLeón!! By chance, hast thou written, on the tips of thy fingers, the answers to our noble quiz in microscopic print, and are now trying to decipher such without benefit of thy super-duper magnification tool?”

Snickers and guffaws from the rest of the students, most of who had also been startled by the loud and sudden outburst.

Dropping my hands down to my lap I meekly said, “Uh, no.”

“NO? Dost thou say…NO?” Striking an exaggerated stage-like pose. “I ask thou then: What dost thou seek that can be found at the tips of thy very digits?”

“Uh, nothing.”

“Ah, ignorance is not thy best cloak, sir. Let me examine those stealthy digits, if I may.”

Slowly pulling my hands out from under the desk I presented my fingers for inspection. The room had suddenly become excruciatingly warm.

Taking my left hand he turned it palm up and began to look closely at each of my fingertips—his face all the while twisted into a Sherlock Holmes-like caricature. Eyebrows arched and eyes bulging, he announced, while waving an arm theatrically, “Anon, I see nothing here but that a good nail file wouldn’t make quick work of.”

The class, now realizing that he was putting on a show at my expense, now began to laugh out loud.

“Ah, and these white spots on thy nails tell me you are in dire need of more goodly vitamins, good fellow.” He continued.

Ceremoniously laying my left hand down on my desk and resuming his Mr. Krohn persona he said, “OK now, back to the quiz. And that means everybody.”

Completely humiliated I unsteadily picked up my pencil and struggled to remember where I’d left off. But before completely re-immersing myself into questions dealing with Shakespearean drama, I made a mental note to remind myself to further examine my fingers when I got home.

***

Within a couple of months I had memorized a few basic chords on the guitar and had finally coördinated my right hand and arm to strum the strings in rhythm to the two songs I was trying to learn. Having taken choir in my freshman year I could read a bit of music, but I still needed to actually learn the melody to “Old Black Joe”, having never heard it before, so I had to tolerate my dad’s rendition of the song over and over again until I (and my mom and my brother) had at last committed it to memory.

After dinner on a Friday evening, as we were getting ready to leave for church, my dad asked me if I wanted to bring the guitar to the service.

“What for?” I asked stupidly.

“Well, so you can play it, of course.” He responded.

“Dad! I don’t think anyone at church wants to hear me play the guitar while I sing ‘Old Black Joe’!” I protested.

“No, of course not!” He said, raising his voice a bit. “But you can sit up on the stage and play along with the coritos and the hymns. No one will really hear you since the guitar is not amplified.”

“No, Dad!” I continued to protest. “The only chords I know are D, G, and C. I don’t even know what key they play the coritos in.”

“Well,” he continued, “you can sit up there and just follow along, you know.”

“No, dad. Sorry. I’m just not ready to do that.” I quickly ran into the restroom to avoid any further discussion. A few minutes later I heard my mother call for me to hurry because we were ready to leave.

We arrived at the church, and as usual, my dad took off to find Rev. Villa, while Ricky, my mom and I walked slowly from the parking lot and into the large dining room to have a cookie or two before the service.

I saw Joni talking amicably to Gilbert and spotted her two brothers lurking near the back doors, arms crossed, quietly surveying the crowd and keeping a close eye on their sister. Ignoring them, I busied myself reading last week’s Sunday school attendance statistics posted prominently on a fancy wooden display case hanging on one of the walls. Within a few minutes one of the sisters walked in from the main auditorium and rang a small hand bell signifying the start of the evening service. Finding my mother, and tearing my brother away from the large platter of Mexican cookies, I led them into through the main doors and directly to my most favorite (and visibly strategic) seat.

As Joni took her seat at the piano and began to play an introductory hymn we all stood to welcome the group of church officials as they filed onto the stage from a side door housing administrative offices.   Because of his position as president of the Sociedad de Hermanos, my dad was now required to enter the church with this group and take a seat on the stage. As he stood in front of his chair facing the congregation, clapping and singing along with the hymn he caught my eye and gave me a little wink. Odd.

The hymn ended with a loud chorus of “alleluias” and “gloria a Dios” from the gathered, and we all took our seats. Ricky, sitting to my mother’s right suddenly pointed and said, in an almost too loud voice, “Mamá, what’s Frankie’s guitar doing up on the stage?”

Snapping my head to the right intending to shush him, I froze as the meaning of his question filtered through my brain. My head ricocheted to the left and my eyes stopped and focused on the ridiculously tiny Century guitar sitting on the floor with its neck leaning on an empty chair next to Brother Cantú and his humongous bajo sexto. Looking slowly around, I noticed that everyone in the musician’s area, including Joni, was looking at me. The trumpet twins were rapidly fingering the valves on their shiny horns and grinning obscenely. The pit of my stomach froze and my bowels sent out an urgent SOS.

Regaining what little dignity I had left I turned to my mother and loudly whispered, “Mom, who put my guitar up there?”

Staring blankly ahead she slowly raised her left arm. Uncoiling her index finger and pointing it straight ahead she said, “Mira. O, Mira.”

As I sat glued to my seat and unsure of what to do next Reverend Villa made his entrance. Since this was a Friday night, the entrance wasn’t grand, nor was it made through the main doors in his usual grand manner. Walking in through the same doors that the preceding group of officials had used, he, nonetheless, glided in, in semi-grand fashion—toothy smile plastered on, and enthusiastically waving his large white bible clenched in his left hand.

Passing in front of my dad he stopped and whispered something to him while vigorously shaking his hand. Then they both looked over to where we were seated and smiled. This was not a good sign for me. Continuing on to the pulpit he waited patiently until the congregation’s shouts and ovations finally drifted off.

“¡Buenas noches, y que Dios les bendiga!” This set off another round of holy acclamations.

Raising both arms to quell the crowd he continued. “Tenemos una gran sorpresa esta noche, hermanos. Parece que Dios nos ha presentado con otra bendición en nuestra población humilde.” (We have a great surprise in store for us tonight. It seems that God has presented our humble population with yet another blessing.) Then, looking directly at me, he continued, “Por favor, si nuestro hermanito, Frankie nos pueda hacer el favor de subir al altar con los otros músicos por la Gloria de Dios. ¿Qué dicen hermanos?” (Could our little brother, Frankie, do us the favor of coming up to the altar and joining the other musicians for the glory of God? What do you say brothers?) The whoops and holy acclamations started again and, first a few, then the whole congregation rose to cheer me up to the stage. Even Joni was standing and quietly clapping her hands daintily. Brother Cantú was actually dusting the empty chair next to him with his tent-sized bandana and grinning broadly. Trumpet boys were leering and the drummer twirled his sticks looking a little bored.

I stood slowly, then my knees gave out and I sat back down in a heap.

“¡Ándale, pronto!” My mother said, a little too loudly.

Ricky was saying, “Go, go, go, go!”

Standing up again I very ungracefully edged out of my row and headed for the stage. Passing behind Joni I heard her say, “I can’t wait to hear you play…”

Great. I wondered if she knew how to kick off a cool riff on, “Old Black Joe.”

 

The Benefactor

 

That first night on the stage I spent most of the time vainly trying to figure out what key we were in and where the chord changes were. It didn’t turn out too well. After the service Brother Cantú kindly congratulated me for my courage in even coming up and told me how cute my little guitar was. Reverend Villa made a point of coming over also to say a few encouraging words, assuring me that it would get easier for me as time went on—and I learned more chords. Joni didn’t even bother saying anything. After the last hymn she just closed the piano up and walked off. I thought that maybe I should’ve suggested playing “When The Saints Come Marching In”, but then she would’ve probably played it in some weird key like F, or even B flat. My little book didn’t go past D major.

As I was looking around for my guitar’s case I heard someone behind me call my name. Turning around I saw a man, maybe in his mid-forties, whom I didn’t ever remember seeing before, walking toward me. He stood out a bit because he was dressed really well in a tucked in silky looking sport shirt and dark pleated slacks over glossy dark brown loafers.

“So, first night playing in public, huh?”

“Yup, I don’t think it went really well though.” I responded.

He put his right hand out. “Marcelo Ruiz.”

He was a short man; his face round, dark-skinned, and slightly pockmarked. He had an abundance of wavy black hair, and although his name was Hispanic, he looked more Asian—almond shaped dark hazel eyes, high cheekbones and a short wide nose. The hand he extended was adorned with a large gold ring topped with a shiny black stone. His nails were flawless and although his grip was firm, his hand was soft and warm.

Putting my guitar case down I extended my hand. “Frankie…uh…DeLeón.”

“Sure! You’re Brother DeLeón’s son, right?”

“Yes.” I answered simply.

“I saw you and your family at the other church a few times when you were first visiting, but I never got the chance to introduce myself. Well, it looks like the Lord reached out and saved them while I was gone.”

“Sorry?” I said, a little confused. “You were gone?”

“Yeah, well, I’m a merchant mariner. Do you know what that is?” He asked as he pulled one of the chairs up and sat down.

“No, not really.”

“Well, I work on ships and I’m gone sometimes for two or three—sometimes even six months. It depends on the trip. There’ve been times I’ve been gone for up to eight months.”

“Really?” I put the case down and pulled a chair up. “What do you do, and where do you go?” This was really interesting.

“Oh, I don’t do too much now. Since I’ve got a lot of seniority I usually just make sure the cargo logs match up with the cargo at the destination, as they were when we departed. I’m called a Cargo Master. And, yeah, I’ve really been just about everywhere.”

“That sounds cool.” I was really impressed. “But, do you get to go to church when you’re on a trip?”

“Not usually. See, the Lord saved me a long time ago when I was a young seaman just starting out. But because I travel a lot I don’t get to attend church very often. I just worship the Lord in my heart when I travel. That’s what I promised Him I’d always do, way back when.”

“I see.” I said. “Do you have kids?” I asked curiously.

He broke into a short jolly little laugh waving his well-manicured hand. “Oh no! I’ve never had time for that with my traveling all the time. Quickly turning a bit pensive he added, “ I’m afraid I’ll always be a life-long bachelor. Anyway,” he continued, “enough about me. I really wanted to talk to you about your future plans…I mean, about playing the guitar in church.”

“Um, I don’t really have any plans, really. I’m just learning now, and I’m not really very good. I just know how to play in three keys; so most of the time I spend trying to figure out if the song Joni’s playing is in a key I know. Then, I really didn’t know the chord changes. It’s hard.”

He smiled. “Yeah, I guess it is. But I have to compliment you on your courage to come up here not knowing what you were doing.”

“Well, I didn’t have much of a choice, really.” I confessed. “If I hadn’t, I would’ve heard about it from my parents when we got home. A little embarrassment here is better than being yelled at by my parents at home.”

He chuckled, and patted me on the shoulder. “Would you be willing to, or better said, would you like to take a few lessons?”

“Well, sure.” I answered immediately. “But, we don’t have the money to spend on lessons. My dad already got in trouble with my mom just for buying this guitar for me.”

He smiled, and looking up to where my dad was busy conversing with Reverend Villa and a couple of other brothers, he said, “What if I asked your dad to let me teach you—say every Saturday while I’m in Houston—at your house. I think I could do maybe an hour each week.”

“Well, I think that would probably be great, but really, we don’t have the money to pay you.” I explained.

“No, no. That’s OK. I wouldn’t charge you anything. See, I felt God move me tonight and I think He put the thought into my head when I saw you called up to the stage.”

“Yeah, that was embarrassing. Well, I don’t know.” I said. “For sure you’ll have to ask my dad.”

“Of course!” He said. “I’ll go ask him now.”

Marcelo patted me on the shoulder once again as he got up. “OK, I’ll talk to your dad and let you know.” With a quick smile, he gave me a little wave and got up. “See ya.” He moved to where my dad was still deep in conversation with Villa.

Of course my dad agreed, and the following Saturday Marcelo showed up at our house at one o’clock in the afternoon. He was driving a new two-toned beige Studebaker Commander Coupé that looked as if it had just been driven off the showroom floor, and it attracted more than a few of our neighbors’ attention as he cruised into our dirt front yard.

My mother had gotten me up early that morning and made me spend extra time cleaning the front room. “Next week,” she’d told me, “we’ll be living in a better house with a real living room.”

“Really?” I was surprised. “Where’re we moving to?”

“Oh, just up the street. You know that big house on the corner a block from the bakery?”

“Yup. Some Anglo family lived there. I don’t think they had any kids.”

“Right! OK, your dad made a deal with the owner after the people who were living there moved out, and we’re renting it for almost the same as we’re paying here.” She said proudly.

“Cool.”

“¡Ay! No me digas, ‘cool’. ¡No me gusta esa palabra!” (Don’t say ‘cool’. I don’t like that word.) She said, annoyed.

“OK, mom, but that’s what everyone says.”

“Not to me!”

As promised we began moving out on a Wednesday evening, and by the time we were ready to go to the Friday night service we were all moved in. As a bonus my brother and I got a bedroom to share as our very own. Of course it was a bit sparse, with just a couple of rollaway beds and an old worn out dresser. But it was my first bedroom and I was overjoyed with the privacy it afforded me.

***

As I waited on the porch he waved as he got out and walked to the back of the car and opened the car’s ample trunk pulling out a black guitar case. It looked almost twice the size of mine.

“Hi, Mr. Ruiz.” I said as he walked up the stairs.

“Hey, hi Frank; and please call me Marcelo.” He stretched out his soft skinned right hand.

“OK. Come on in.”

I invited Marcelo to sit in our rickety armchair that mom had thrown a sheet over to cover the worn spots, and I pulled up one of our kitchen chairs.

Laying his guitar case on the floor he popped the four latches and opened it up. Inside lay the most beautiful guitar I had ever seen. Deep brown body that faded to almost black with a beautiful sunburst center, it shone like it had been layered in deep acrylic paint and hand polished for days. As he gently raised it out from the case I looked at the brand: Gibson.

“Wow, that’s really beautiful.” I said admiringly.

“Oh, well she’s a bit old. It’s a model L00, flat top. Want to hold it?”

I wasn’t even sure how to properly hold my little Century so I wasn’t about to take a chance on his Gibson.

“Oh no.” I gasped. “Maybe later when I get better at playing.”

“OK, let’s start with the basics first.”

That first lesson lasted a little over an hour and not once did we even attempt to play either guitar. Instead, he coached me on the proper way to sit or stand with the guitar; tune, hold, strum the instrument, and how to hold the pick. I learned that there were several types of picks, and many different thicknesses—each affecting the sound and feel of the strings.

For homework he had me memorize the key that each string was in, and the three-chord progression for each major key. “Next week,” he promised, “I’ll introduce you to the associated minor chords.”

For the next three months Marcelo visited and tutored me on the guitar. A few times he let me practice on his beautiful Gibson, but most of the time I had to struggle on my little Century. I was amazed at the difference in the feel of the two different guitars. While I had to exert heavy pressure on the strings of my guitar to press them into the fret board to produce the desired note, it seemed that I just barely touched the strings on the Gibson to make the same sound.

During this time I continued to play along with the church’s musicians on the stage. I quickly got over my stage fright as I gained more confidence in my ability to follow along and even anticipate the keys and chord changes that each hymn and little coritos required. Although I remained unplugged (no amplifier) I did my very best to make myself heard over the other instruments.

During one of our lessons Marcelo brought with him a cardboard cutout of a piano keyboard, and with that he taught me how to tune my guitar to the church’s piano before the service started. It wasn’t long before I was experimenting with the piano—forming chords that I was familiar with on the guitar with the piano keyboard. Plus, I found that with my newly developing talent I was scoring a bit more face time with Joni. Although her demeanor towards me began to warm up a bit, she continued to remain strangely aloof—keeping our conversations centered mainly on musical subjects.

Marcelo usually only attended the Sunday and Friday services, so each Saturday, he would review my performance from the week before, offering up hints and suggestions to make my accompaniments more effective. After each lesson he would spend a little time telling me about his past voyages aboard ship and describing the various countries he had visited. After a while I began to dream about someday being able to travel to foreign lands and learning about new cultures. But I knew I didn’t want to do it from a boat. Sailing was never my favorite pastime. I would have to think about some other way.

Finally, one Saturday he let me play the Gibson for most of the lesson. I was getting pretty good at executing chord changes smoothly without having to pause my strumming, but when I played his guitar it seemed as if I didn’t even have to think about the chords. After the lesson, and as I was putting away my little guitar he asked me how I liked playing the Gibson.

“Oh, I really love it!” I answered. “The finger action is so smooth that I hardly have to exert any finger pressure to get a clean chord sound.”

“Well, that’s the mark of a well-made guitar, you know.” He said. “Yours will eventually become harder and harder to sound out chords because the neck is all wood, and the tension of the strings will warp it, as it has no neck support built-in. The Gibson has a metal rod running through the neck to keep it from warping—so it’ll stay true forever.”

“Wow!” I exclaimed. “Maybe someday when I’m older and have a job I’ll be able to buy one of these for myself. Until then, I’ll just have to take good care of my little cheap one.”

He looked at me kindly and put his hand on my shoulder. “You know, I wanted to tell you sooner but I thought I’d just wait until today.”

“Tell me what?”

“I just got a new marine assignment, so I’ll be leaving next Thursday.” He said, half smiling.

“Oh…” Was all I could think of to say.

“Can you guess where I’m going?”

“No, I don’t have the slightest idea.”

“Well,” he started, “the ship I signed up with will be leaving Galveston, and we’ll head south until we get to the Panama Canal.”

“Oh yeah,” I said knowingly. “We studied that in my history class last year.”

“OK, then we’ll sail west and north docking in San Pedro, California, for a couple of days to pick up cargo. Afterwards, we’ll sail to Hawaii, then visit several Asian ports of call.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“It’ll be about six months, maybe more. Depends on the weather.” He answered.

“That long, huh?”

“Yeah, so while I’m gone I expect you to continue improving on your guitar playing. You have all the basics down now, so all you need now is a lot of practice.”

“OK, I’ll try.” I said, a little disappointed now that I realized I wouldn’t have a personal instructor.

He got up and asked, “Can you get your mom and dad? I want to say bye to them.”

“Sure,” I responded. “I think dad’s outside working on the car and mom should be in the kitchen.” Although our new rental was old, it was roomier than our old house; and someone sitting in the living room couldn’t just turn around and see the kitchen.

“OK.” Marcelo said. “I’ll pack up while you go and get them.”

I ran out the front door and found my dad, as expected, working on the car that my uncle Frank had sold to him just before he left for California. So far it was the best car we’d ever had: a 1955 Ford Fairlane—two-tone powder puff blue and white.

“Dad, Marcelo’s ready to leave but he wants to say goodbye before he goes.”

My dad, in his usual white “wife-beater” undershirt and khaki pants, looked up from under the hood. “Say bye to him for me, I’m busy.”

“No dad!” I said, a little too aggressively. “He’s leaving for about six months on a trip, so you have to come say goodbye now!”

He stepped back from the car, wrench in hand. “Six months? Where’n the devil’s he going—the moon?”

“Funny dad. No, he’s going on one of his trips—somewhere farther west than even Hawaii.”

“Hawaii? OK, let me clean my hands and I’ll be right in.”

I ran up the back stairs through the back door that opened up into the kitchen. Mom was rolling out some of her fat tortillas.

“Mom, come say bye to Marcelo. He’s leaving and won’t be back for about six months.”

“¿Y tu papá? ¿Donde está?” (And your father? Where is he?)

“He’s coming, but he’ll probably walk around the house and go in through the front door.”

“Bueno. Allí vengo.” (All right, I’m coming.) She grabbed a wash cloth to wipe the sticky dough off her hands.

I quickly ran back through the small dining room (yes, we even had one of those now) and into the front living room.

“They’re coming, Marcelo.”

“Good.” He said.

He had packed up his Gibson and had put the case on the chair.

“So now I need to tell you something and ask you for a big favor.” He said seriously. “First, when I return I expect to see you in church playing the guitar without having to look at your left hand. Next, you have a good voice, so I would like for you to practice some hymns that you can sing while accompanying yourself. When you think you’re good enough I want you to sing that hymn on a Sunday night in church during the special hymns part of the service. Can you do that for me?”

“Gosh, I don’t know. I guess.” I said, a little nervous.

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but I’m going to give you something that should help.” He reached over and picked up the Gibson in the case and held it out to me.

“She’s yours to practice on, to play, and to take care of. At least until I get back.”

My eyes began to burn a little and suddenly I got a little lump in my throat.

“Mr. Ruiz…” I stammered.

“Marcelo.”

“Marcelo, I, I, can’t…I, don’t know..”

“Sure you do.”

Mom and dad came into the room, both wiping their hands for different reasons.

“Ah, buenas tardes hermanos.” Marcelo said, holding his hand out for my dad to shake.

“Brother, I hear you’re going away on a trip?” My dad said, pumping Marcelo’s hand.

“Yes. Have to get back to work. But I’m leaving my guitar with Frankie. I hope you approve.”

Both of my parents just kind of stood there with blank looks on their faces.

Finally, my dad said, “Hermano Ruiz, that’s a really expensive instrument and I wouldn’t want him to damage it while you’re gone.”

“He won’t—of that I’m sure. I think he loves that guitar more than I do. Besides, he’s got some, well, homework…to take care of while I’m gone.”

“¿Si?” My mother managed to say.

“Yes.” Marcelo said. “I’ll let him tell you about it later. Now, I have to get a couple of other things out of the car. Would you excuse me?”

He turned and walked out the front door. The three of us just walked slowly and watched as he opened his trunk.

“Frankie!” Marcelo called out. “Come out here and give me a hand.”

I ran down the steps and around to the back of his car. From the trunk he pulled out and handed me a small amplifier, then he reached in and took out a small cardboard box.

“This is an electrical pick-up that you’ll install over the sound hole. I’ve already had a receptacle installed on the guitar where you can plug in the amplifier. It’s small, but I think it’ll help you make yourself heard when you play in church. With these you’ll be able to be heard over the trumpets and the rest of the musicians—especially brother Cantú and his big bass guitar.

I was stunned, and just couldn’t find the right words to say. So, I just stood there holding the little box containing the pickup and unashamedly cried a little. Marcelo grabbed me by the shoulders, pulled me close and hugged me. I believe this was the first time ever that I’d been hugged by another male.

“Just take good care of her until I come back—and make me proud.” He said as he stepped back with his hands still on my shoulders.

I glanced up at my parents, who were still standing on the porch—my father with his arms crossed and wearing a strained little smile, and my mother just looking confused. Marcelo patted me heavily on the back and walked slowly up to the driver’s door.

“¡Adios hermanos! Cuídenlo.” (Take care of him.) He said to my parents—waving as he got into his car.

One final wave as he pulled away from our house.

As I sadly waved back I had no way of knowing that it would be the last time that I, or anyone else, would ever again see Marcelo Ruiz.


 

[1] Mr. Charles Krohn left Jefferson Davis Senior High School a few years later and went on to become a very successful actor. His film credits include:  Futureworld (1976), Sugar Hill (1974), The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training (1977), Red Alert (TV Movie, 1977), and Adam: His Song Continues (TV Movie,1986). He and his wife are major benefactors at the Alley Theater in Houston, and until lately starred in, and directed, the theater’s production of Charles Dickens’, A Christmas Carol. He was last employed as Professor of English at St. Thomas University, in Houston, Texas.

From Sinners To Saints…Part III

From Sinners To Saints…Part III

 

A Hint of Things to Come

 

After returning home from our having lunch at the Mexican restaurant I quickly changed clothes and went out into our little back yard to sit quietly on the steps leading out from the back door.  I was trying to decide if I had enough time to do my book report, complete twenty-five math problems, and work on my history assignment in the two hours I had before having to get ready to leave again, when my mother came out and asked if I wanted a baloney sandwich before getting ready for the evening service.

“No, I’m still not hungry.”

“¿Bueno, entonces quieres un vaso de poly-pop?  Tu hermano is having one.”  (Do you want a glass of Kool-Aid?  Your brother is….) My mother always called Kool-Aid, “poly-pop; and no, I don’t know why.

“Sí.  I guess.”  I responded, a little dejected.  “Mom, I didn’t do any homework on Saturday thinking that I could do it on Sunday night.  Now I’ll have to stay up all night to get it done and probably fall asleep in school tomorrow.  Why do we have to go back to church tonight?”

“Look,” She said pointing her finger at me and lowering her voice almost to a whisper.  “All I know is that your father is home this weekend, and that I owe to that little church and those people; especially el Reverendo Villa.  So don’t go ruining this by making your father angry.  He was really mad at you in the car, and I was afraid he was just going to drop us off and go out drinking.”

“So, now it’s my fault he drinks?”  I responded, matching her whisper.

“No, but I don’t want anything to make him angry enough to take off like he likes to do.”

I didn’t know what else I could say to her so I just shrugged and said, “Fine.  What time do we have to leave?”

“No se mijo, but I think maybe around six.”

Well, I thought, that left me with about ninety minutes to see how much of the book report I could punch out.

I heard the screen door close behind me and listened as my mom’s shuffling steps retreated back into the house.  “¿Oye viejo!”  She yelled.  “You want some coffee?  I can make some for you.”

“Yeah!”  He yelled back from the front room of the house.  “Bring it out to me in the front yard.  I want to take a look at the parking brake on the car before we have to go.”

Great, I thought.  Maybe he’ll dick up the car and we won’t be going anywhere after all.

Not being in the mood to get into my books right then I decided to sit there and think things over.  I had noticed a slight change in my father’s attitude in the last couple of days, and for sure he hadn’t gone on one of his usual weekend benders, but he was still smoking his normal two to three packs of Camels every day, so I couldn’t help but wonder just how long he’d hold out before he succumbed to whatever pleasure he derived from drinking down those bottles of Four Roses Whiskey straight—without the benefit of a glass.

He had displayed an unusually benevolent temperament towards my mother since Friday; actually conversing with her for more than just a few minutes, and not baiting her into one of their knockdown drag-out arguments.  But his almost violent reaction to me earlier in the car had taken me by complete surprise.  Usually he never had much to do with me or Ricky, as far as discipline was concerned—that was usually my mother’s specialty; and for the most part he was always civil and liked to joke with us more than anything else.  He also never seemed too concerned with my performance in school—never asking me anything about my course loads or even what subjects I was taking.  While my mother carefully looked over my report cards, scrutinizing every detail and asking why a “B” was not an “A”, and…“that conduct grade, it should be higher…” he would just casually glance at the card and quickly scrawl his signature on the back.

I had never been afraid of my father in the same way as I was of my mother.  Getting on her bad side usually meant that there’d be hair pulling, pinching, slapping, and most of all, yelling.  This, by the way, went on all the way through my teenage years but stopped abruptly after I graduated from high school and started working.

For the most part my father had never really displayed a “bad side” to me; so, after an episode of having been disciplined (whipped) by my mother, it was normal for me to tearfully protest my “abuse” to him whenever he came home from work.  After hearing me out he would usually just pat me on the head, or (less frequently) give me a little hug and tell me he’d have a talk with her.  Those small discussions always made me feel better, probably because I was just looking for some sympathy, but mostly because I actually thought he’d intercede on my behalf and read my mother the riot act.  In reality he was just paying me lip service and staying above the fray.

All in all though, and until I left home in December of 1960, my father and I got along pretty well—particularly before times got hard with the medical bills and my mom’s unplanned, and financially devastating, pregnancy.  After my brother was born and my mother came down with kidney stones our life went downhill fast, and pretty much stayed there.

Well before those events came to pass there were two particular experiences involving me and my dad that will forever stand out in my memory.  The first, pleasant and prophetic; the other, frightening and tragic.  So for just a little bit now, and before I continue detailing what transpired that Sunday afternoon and evening, I’d like to digress and revisit those experiences; both of which would end up having a profound effect on me and my future.

Reflections

The Airport

Hobby Airport, located south of the Houston Metro area off the Old Galveston Road (now I45) and Telephone Road, was the only major airport that served my hometown for many years before the Intercontinental Airport (now George Bush Intercontinental Airport) was built in 1957.

One day, probably around 1949, my parents and I were in our car returning from a day-long fishing trip at the free piers at Galveston Island when I happened to see an airplane flying very low in the sky.

“Daddy, daddy, look at that airplane!”  I yelled excitedly from the back seat.  “Where’s he going?  Is he going to crash?”  I quickly scooted from the right side of the backseat to the left to keep the rapidly descending plane in sight.

“No mijo,” my dad responded as he craned his neck towards the windshield to find the plane.  “He’s probably just landing at the airport over there.”  He pointed out the left window.

“An airport?  Is there an airport over there?  Is it close?  Can we go see?  Please!”

“Yeah, it’s the Hobby Airport, but I don’t know if we have time to go over there.”

“Please daddy?  Please!”  I begged.

He looked at my mom and shrugged his shoulders.  “What do you think, vieja?  We can turn left here on Telephone Road and drive by the airport for a little while.  It’s still early and  I think they have a little parking area where we can stop and watch the planes take off and land.”

“Oh, I don’t care.”  Mom said off-handedly.  “As long as we don’t stay too long…I have to go to the bathroom soon.”

“OK.”  He said.  “There’s a Gulf station about a block from the airport.  We can stop there and while you go to the rest room I’ll get us all a Coke.  Then we can park for a little while and watch the planes.  What do  you think, Pancho?”

“Oh yeah!”  I yelled with glee.  “And are we really all getting a Coke?”

“Sure.”  He said, as his eyes smiled at me in the rearview mirror.

And so it was that on day my fascination with airplanes, and aviation in general, began. Practically every weekend after that day, until the drinking finally and permanently ended our trips, I would beg my father to take me to the Hobby Airport where I would sit on one of our old car’s front powder puff fenders and dream of someday piloting one of those beautifully graceful flying machines.  I would especially love to see TWA’s red and white Super Connie aircraft, twin tails gleaming in the sun, taxi to the end of the runway and rev up its four powerful piston engines to full take-off power.  The resulting turbulent prop wash would wildly whip the tall grass between the end of the runway and the airport boundary fence, causing instant chaos and general panic among the large, and heretofore unseen, resident jackrabbit population hiding deep in their burrows.  I would giggle with glee as I watched them leap here and there, scattering wildly in every direction trying to escape the ear-splitting noise coming from the plane’s four engines, and the powerful blast of blustery air generated by the Connie’s large silver propellers.  My dad would hang on to his hat and hug me tight—both of us laughing as we watched the graceful giant slowly start its take-off roll, and finally lift off majestically into the sky.

One day, after a particularly long interval between take offs and landings, I noticed a large white oddly shaped building halfway down, and to the right, of the runway. “Dad!” I called while pointing straight ahead.  “What’s that white funny looking building over there?  It looks like an ice cream cone but I can see people inside the top part where the green glass is.”

“Oh, that?  That’s the airport tower.”

“What’s it for?”  I wondered out loud.

“Well,” he explained. “The people that work inside talk to the airplanes and tell the pilots when they can take off or when they can land.”

“Wow!”  I exclaimed.  I was absolutely amazed.  “Daddy, I think the job those men do has to be more important than the pilots flying the airplanes, don’t you think?  Gee, they must be really smart to be able to do that.”

“Well,” He said, rubbing his chin.  “I’m sure they have to have a lot of training to be allowed to make those kind of decisions, I guess.  You know, a pilot is responsible for his airplane and all of his passengers, but those guys in the tower are responsible for all of the airplanes in and around the airport.”

“Even when they’re in the air?”  I asked breathlessly.

“Yes, I think so, but I’m not sure.  I know they talk to the planes on special radios.”

“Wow!”  I exclaimed, my eyes now glued on the tiny figures moving around behind the green windows.  “I think when I grow up that’s what I’d like to do!  Do you think you can send me to that kind of school when I grow up, daddy?”

He chuckled deeply and gave me a noogie.  “Well, let’s get you through high school first and then we can see if you still want to do that.”

“Oh, I know I will.  I just know it.”

“Well, mijo we’ll see.”  And then he picked me up and set me down on his lap as he slid up and took my place on the fender.  I rested my chin on his arm and held on tightly as he hugged me snugly and securely.  I stared at that building for a long time trying to see if I could make out what exactly the men inside were doing.  Finally, my dad said, “Mira mijito, here comes one from behind us ready to land.”

I was so very excited and couldn’t wait to get home to tell Jerry all about the airport tower that I had seen, and the smart people that talked to airplanes.  I didn’t think I’d tell mom because she’d just say I was being silly.  She usually said that when she didn’t understand something I was trying to explain.

It was many years later, and long after I earned my pilot’s license, and been hired by the Federal Aviation Administration as an air traffic controller, that the memory of that long lost day was finally recalled.  Now, in retrospect, I realize that that occasion was probably my closest and warmest dad and son experience.  There were so very few.

Of course there were other good times too—especially when he was still coming home on Fridays.  That’s when he’d ask me if I’d like to go fishing with him early the next day.  “Sure!”  I would always say, knowing that he’d be waking me up very early on Saturday—somewhere between two and three o’clock—so that we’d get to the free pier on Galveston Island before anyone else.  “That way”, he’d explain, “we’ll get the ‘best’ spot…” ensuring our success in landing a record haul fish.

Sadly, and more often than not, we’d end up with just a few pitiful looking catfish (he called them “hard-heads”) or a couple of sunfish, or perch that we’d end up throwing away before we’d leave for the long drive home.  Worse, the entire day was spent baiting, casting, and mostly reeling in a wet and empty hook.  There was very little conversation between us, except maybe for a few repetitive words or phrases such as: “Almost had him…” “Watch your head, I’m casting out…” “I’m moving over there…” “Not hitting very well today…”

The long day would end with me dozing off in the back seat on the way home, my hands stinking of shrimp and squid (bait), and gently rubbing my red itchy sunburned shoulders.  Sometimes, but not very often,  we’d make a stop at “Prince’s Drive Inn” on Old Galveston Road, and order up some deep fried jumbo shrimp and fries, and a vanilla malt.  I’d always feel odd eating what I’d been sticking on hooks all day long.

Bill’s Joint

By far, the strangest experience that I ever had with my dad occurred when I was about seven or eight, and it didn’t have anything to do with fishing or airplanes.

I was outside playing in my favorite cool spot under the house, when I heard my mother yelling for me to come in the house.  Thinking that I had probably done something wrong I took my time crawling out, slowly walking up the back stairs and easing quietly through the screen door.  As I padded through the kitchen in my bare feet I saw my dad standing near the front door with my mother holding on to his left arm.  They were arguing.

Trying to tug away from her grip he was saying, “¡Te digo, vieja, que voy a volver en unos cuantos minutos!”  (I’m telling you, old lady, I’ll be back in a few minutes.) “I’m just going to go around the corner, for God’s sake!”

Agitated, she looked directly at him and said, “No Bob!  Whenever you say that I don’t see you for two or three days!  You are not doing this to me today!  If you really are just running an errand “around the corner” you won’t mind taking Frankie with you, now will you?”

“NO!  I will not take him with me!”  He yelled back at her.  “I won’t, goddammit!”

“I swear to God Bob, if you don’t take him with you, then when you finally decide to come home you’ll find us gone, and you’ll never see us again!”

Hearing this surprised and scared me at the same time.  First, I hadn’t heard my mother ever use this tone of voice ever, half crying and half screaming; but more than that, it didn’t sound like a threat—more like a promise.  The thought of leaving home and never seeing my dad again suddenly made me profoundly sad.

“God dammit vieja, where in the hell would you go anyway?”  He asked angrily, still trying to pull away.

Now crying full force, “Bueno, you just go, desgraciado! (damned you.)  But when you get home you’ll see!  I’ll…we’ll be gone and you’ll never find us!  Never!!  I’ll find a way to get as far as I possibly can from you—and me and Frankie will never be seen again!”

Now I really started to worry.  She didn’t sound like she was kidding!

“Shit!”  He spat.  Looking out toward the car with a wistful look then turning back toward her he said, “Fine, Godammit!  But, don’t think I’m taking him because your stupid threat scared me!  I’m doing it to stop you from screaming your ass off for all the fucking neighbors to hear!”

Ripping his arm away from her he yelled over her head, “¡Pancho!  ¡Vente, vamonos!” (Come on, let’s go!)

I tentatively moved towards the door and my mother gently pushed me in the direction of the porch.  “Ándale mijo, vete.” (Go ahead son, go.)

Glaring at my dad, and between clenched teeth, she hissed, “Listen you!  If anything happens to him, I swear to almighty God that I will do my best to kill you, if it’s the last thing I ever do!”  For maximum effect, she shook her left fist at him.

Hearing that, I started to think that maybe the safest choice for me was to stay just where I was.  But as I began to open my mouth to voice my opinion, my dad said, “¡Vieja estupida!  Where do you think I’m going to take him?  He’s my son too, pendeja, (idiot (but much worse)), and I know how to take care of him, for Christ’s sake you idiot!  And, you better stop threatening me, vieja loca!”

Reaching for my arm he abruptly yanked me away from my mother’s side, and before I knew what was happening I was being dragged down the stairs and out to the car.

“Just mark my words, Bob—JUST MARK MY WORDS!”  She yelled at the top of her lungs as she stood on the porch, arms folded and head cocked sideways with a look on her face that really scared me.

Pushing me into the front seat, my dad slid in and started the car while his left leg was still hanging out over the running board.  “God, your mother is so full of shit!  You know what I mean?”  I wasn’t so sure I knew what he meant, but I kept quiet and just shrugged.  The old Dodge shook as the engine caught.  He slammed the floor shifter into reverse and did a 180 degree backwards turn in the front yard.

The momentum of the car sort of rolled me over the seat and I ended up with my knees on the floorboard facing the back of the front seat.

“God damn stupid ass woman!”  He whispered loudly to himself, jamming the shifter into first gear while popping the clutch and spinning the steering wheel.

I flew up onto the seat and grabbed the arm rest on the door.

Daring a quick at him I saw his raw anger.  Thinking I might want to get on his good side I asked, “Dad, can I shift the gears?”  He would let me do that sometimes when he was in a really good mood.  This may have not been a good time to ask.

“Just stay over here and be fuc…, be quiet until we’re far away from that maniac.”

Bumping out onto House Street I hung on to the armrest to keep from sliding back onto the floor.  Looking up at my dad I saw that instead of looking out the windshield his eyes were glued to the rearview mirror.

Making a left turn onto Liberty Road we headed toward Lockwood Boulevard.  “Dad?  Where we going?”

“Around the corner.”

Well, by my count we’d already done that a couple of times.  “No, really—where we going?”

“You know, you ask too many questions, dammit boy!”

“Oh, OK.  Can I shift the gears now?”

“Huh?  Oh, yeah, but not just now.  Lemme get out of this traffic and get to the light”

“Daddy!  I know that!  We have to stop, and then get ready to go, for the gears to be shifted.  So, where we going?”

“Lockwood, Navigation, Telephone Road, and then McCarthy Road.  Now, do you know where any of those streets are?”  Suddenly he sounded playful and his face looked a bit more relaxed.

“We’re on Lockwood now!”  I said, as I kneeled on the front seat so I could look out the windshield.  “And, I know there’s a stop light soon; so when we get there I’ll get to shift the gears.  Right?”

“We’ll see.”

Stopping at the light he looked over to me.  “Alright boy, let’s see what’cha got.”

I slid over and grabbed the floor shifter with both hands trying to remember each gear’s position on the “H” pattern that my dad had taught me.

A few stop lights later, and a few pounds of ground out gears (his clutch work and my gear shifting were a little out of sync), and we cruised out onto McCarthy Road.

From what I remember, this street was pretty much on the outskirts of town on the southeast side of Houston, and was mostly populated with gas stations, trucker restaurants, motels, and—oh yes—a bunch of brightly lit bars and clubs.

The brilliant array of red, blue, green and white flashing neon signs were dazzling.  The “Dew Drop Inn”, “Mac’s Drive-In Lounge”, “Tina’s Club” (Ladies Always Welcome), “Butch & Bob’s” (Best Burgers N’Beer N’Town), was like eye candy to my young eyes.  Soon I had forgotten all about the gearshift and had moved over to the passenger side and cranked the window open to try to read as many of the signs as I could.  The cool evening air felt great and I opened my mouth wide to see if the wind would inflate my cheeks.

“Get your head back in the car, Frank!  Jesus!”

I pulled my head back in but kept my right hand out flying it up and down while making nasally airplane noises.

“Hey daddy!  Oh, look!  There’re so many nice stores here.  They’re so lit up!”

“Well,” He chuckled.  “I don’t know how nice those…uh, stores are Pancho.  Know what I mean?”

No, I didn’t.  “Uh-huh.”

Slowing down we made a left turn across traffic and pulled into a small gravel lot where a small white wooden frame building sat.  There were a few cars pulled up to the front of the structure, and my dad picked a place between two cars almost facing the front door.

“BILLS JOINT.” This, written in large black block letters on a swinging white metal sign, hanging on a rusty metal rod over the door and guarded on either side by two small flood lights.  No neon here, and I was a little disappointed that he’d picked this dull place over all the other better ones.

There were two little windows on either side of two large screen doors, hung slightly askew, protecting matching solid white wooden doors.  Three slightly off-center concrete steps led from the white dirt lot up to the doors.  Right away I didn’t like the place because it looked old, cheap, and plain.

“What’re we doing here, daddy?”

“Well, I gotta go see a man about a fire.  Get it?”

“No.”

“Jesus.  OK, I’m going in to talk to someone, and I won’t be long.  So you’re gonna wait here—play with the gear shift if you want—then when I come out we’ll go home.  You want me to bring you out a Coke?”

The Coke comment came out just as I was getting ready to protest.

“Really?  A Coke?  Sure!  Can I go in and get it with you?”

“No Pancho, this is no place for little boys.  You wait here and I’ll be out with the Coke in a little bit.”

“Daddy?”

“What?”

“Are you bringing me a bottle of Coke?”

“Of course!  Why?”

“Well,” I put on my ‘matter of fact’ voice and crossed my arms, business-like.  “If it’s in a bottle then I’ll have to drink it here while you wait, because if you don’t return the bottle right away you won’t get back the nickel deposit.”

“Jesus Christ!  You’re just like your mother!  Mira Pancho, I’m buying you a Coke—AND I’ll pay the deposit so you can drink it on the way home.  Capice?”

“Well then, that’s really good.  Because then tomorrow I can take the empty bottle to Henry’s store and he’ll pay me back a nickel for the deposit!  Then I’ll have a nickel to spend there!  Oh, unless you want it back because you paid, uh…Bill (as I looked at the sign) a nickel.”

“OK, Frankie.  I’m done with the talking.  Now I’m going in and you’re staying here until I come out.  OK?”

“Sure.  Uh, Daddy?”

“What, for Christ sake?” He turned as he was getting out.

“Please don’t forget to bring me my Coke.”

“Jesus!”

He closed the door a little harder than usual and walked around the front of the car heading for the concrete stairs.  Swinging open the screen doors he pushed open one of the large wooden doors and started in.  Just before disappearing into the darkness of “Bill’s Joint”, he quickly turned and pointed his finger at me.  (Stay there!)

Spinning away from me he pulled the door closed behind him, and just before it completely closed I heard:  “Jambalaya, Crawfish Pie-a, Me-oh-my-o, for tonight I’m……”

The time ticked by slowly as I sat in the hot car and entertained myself, first with the floor shifter, then by spinning the dial on the non-working radio on the dash, and acting out dramatic mini-scenes when the dial landed on certain frequencies:  (In my professional radio announcer voice) “Now the news! Frankie won the most famous car race ever by shifting gears faster than anyone else–EVER!”—“In sports, Frankie’s team beat everyone in the world by hitting one hundred homeruns in their game against the very much hated New York Yankees!”—“Today the FBI arrested a big villain with the help of Special Agent Frankie, who after popping him in the nose, held him down, with the help of his best friend Jerry, until the local cops showed up!”—And on, and on.

Yeah, OK.  I was a little light on reality, but I did have a great imagination.

My mind games were abruptly interrupted when a big black car pulled off of McCarthy and slowly rolled up and parked next to ours.  Leaving the radio I turned my attention to the driver, who after shutting off the engine, just sat there for a while, staring straight ahead at the white building with the slowly swinging white metal sign.  With my knees on the seat and chin resting on the open window of our car I wondered why the man was just sitting there, doing nothing.

He looked big, bigger than my father, broad shoulders and a large round face, and he was wearing a gray felt hat pulled partially down over his eyes.  Sweat was running down the side of his face, and every once in a while he’d wipe his brows with a large pudgy hand.  His stare never wavered.

Finally he pushed open the door and stepped out.  Looking at me for the first time, our eyes met, and with my chin resting on the open car window, I smiled, wiggling the fingers on my right hand, saying hello.

He paused momentarily, eyes still locked on mine; then, without a word he slammed the car door and quickly looked away.   Pulling his hat down further over his eyes he walked briskly to the back of his car.  Once there, he looked slowly around, then bent down and opened the trunk.

Straining my neck, and hanging my arm out, I tried to see what he was doing.  No luck.  I could barely see his rump swaying slightly as he appeared to be struggling with something heavy at first, and then straightening up while stuffing something into his pants pockets.

When he pulled back and reached up to slam the trunk lid with his right hand I could see that hanging off his left arm was a long black rifle.  Walking between our car and his I saw that his pockets were bulging and noticed that his hat was gone.  He slowed, turning and glancing at me curiously, then deliberately walked towards the bar—holding the long black gun low and level with the ground.

He took the first step up to the screen door, stopped and rotated the weapon up into a vertical position.  Opening the screen door with his right hand he kicked the wooden door open and rushed in to the blackness of the bar.

I heard:  “…cheating heart, will tell on you…I cried and cried, the whole night through…”  “BOOM, BOOM!!”  My ears rung and my mind stopped.

“…HOLY SHI…”, a scream from inside the bar…“BOOM, BOOM!!”  These louder, and closer together.

I dropped to the floor of the car, but not knowing exactly why I did.  “CRACK, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK!!!”  Then…nothing but silence for what seemed like a very long time.  I don’t recall breathing.

A rush of cool air flooded into the car and I looked up as my dad flew in and pushed the button that started the car.  With his door still open and throwing the floor shifter into reverse he yelled,   “STAY DOWN FRANKIE, STAY DOWN!!!”

The engine caught and I was thrown forward onto the front of the floorboard and under the dash as I felt the car violently sliding backward—the engine screaming.  Shifting, steering wheel spinning wildly, the car lurched forward and I was again thrown, this time onto the bottom of the front seat.

“GODAMMIT, GODAMMIT, GODAMMIT!”  My father shouted in a voice that I’d never heard before.

“Daddy?”

“SHUT UP, GODAMMIT!  STAY DOWN!!  SHUT UP!!  SHUT UP!!”

I wanted to cry.  I wanted to pee.  I was scared.  I wondered where my Coke was.

Bouncing savagely, the car’s back wheels spinning, I smelled burnt oil and rubber.

Starting to get a little dizzy, I whispered loudly, “Daddy, can I get up on the seat now?  Please?”  I chanced a look up to my father.  Mouth open, eyes darting wildly from the windshield to the rearview mirror, he said, “NO!  Dammit, hold on, I’ll tell you when to get up!”

“OK.”  I closed my eyes, and I felt a warm bitter taste of bile at the back of my tongue.  Curled up on the hot rubber floorboard under the glove compartment I tried not to breathe in the acrid smell of grease and hot oil seeping in through the firewall.  The inside of my head spun crazily and I thought I would surely have to throw up soon.

After an eternity of lying on the floor holding back the bubble of vomit wanting to explode from deep in my throat, I heard my father say, “OK Pancho, you can get up on the seat now.”  Grabbing for the frayed arm rest on the passenger side door I drunkenly pulled myself up onto the worn felt seat.  A cool rivulet of sweat ran down my neck, soaking into the collar of my shirt as I pushed my back into the seat.  I slowly turned to look at my dad.

His driving had settled back down to normal and I saw that we were in a part of town I didn’t recognize.  “Daddy,” I was finally able to say without fear of gagging, “where are we?  What happened?  Are we going home now?”

“Settle down boy.  We’re on our way home now.”

“What happened?  I heard some really loud noises coming from the building.  What were those?”

“Nothing, they were nothing.  Now stop asking questions.”

“OK.”  I wanted to ask a lot more questions, but I sort of knew there would be no answers.

“Listen!”  He suddenly blurted out.  “When we get home don’t tell your mother anything—you hear me?  NOTHING!!”  His eyes were squeezed down to sharp slits as he glared at me, and I noted how terribly pale his face was.

“OK.  But can I at least tell her about the loud booms I heard?”

“NO!!  Godammit!!  What did I just say?”

“Don’t tell her nothing?”

“NOTHING!”

“OK.”  My stomach was still queasy.  “Daddy, can I get a Coke?”

A long pause, then he finally said, “OK, we’ll stop at a drug store before we get home and I’ll get you a Coke, and maybe some peanuts.  Would you like that?”

“Sure.  But I’d rather have Cracker Jacks; they have prizes in the box.  Oh, and can we go to Mobley’s for them?”

“Fine, Cracker Jacks!  Just remember not to say anything to your Mom.”

“I’ll remember.  But what will I say if she asks what we did?”

He wrinkled his brow and scratched his head; then he looked down at the floor then craned his neck to look at the back seat.  “Shit.  Where’s my hat?”

“I don’t know.” I responded, not really concerned about his hat.  “Huh, Daddy?  What if she asks?”

“Hell, I don’t know.  Just tell her we went around the corner and stopped at the airport for a while.  Then we went somewhere and we ended up getting you got a Coke and Cracker Jacks.”  “Capice?”

“OK.  Mobley’s…that’s where we’re going now, right?”

“Yeah, Mobley’s.”

The drive home after a stop at Mobley’s Drugstore for my treats was strangely and uncomfortably quiet.  Even the old car’s rattily engine sounded subdued.

We pulled into our front yard and I opened my door.  Tightly holding my booty I ran in the front door of the house anxious to show my mom what I’d gotten.  My dad stayed behind, lifting the hood and inspecting the Dodge’s tortured engine.  Walking to the back of the house I found my mom sitting in the kitchen with her head in her hands.

“Hi mom!”  I greeted her while inspecting my Cracker Jacks prize—a secret decoder ring.

“Oh, hi mijito.”  She said, a little sadness in her voice.  “What did you and your daddy do?  You were gone so long.”  She sniffled and rubbed her nose with a tattered dish towel and reached out to pull me to her.

“Nothing.  Dad took me to Bill’s Joint on McCarthy Road, and I waited in the car until he ran out. Then we went to Mobley’s for this.”  I held out the box and continued munching on a handful of Cracker Jacks.

“Bills what? WHAT?  BILL’S JOINT?!”  Her eyes bulged and she leaped out of her chair.  “BOB!!”  She lurched out of her chair and literally flew out of the kitchen.  I heard the screen door bang open and heard her saying some really angry and loud words. I couldn’t make them out, but really didn’t care too much since they weren’t directed at me.

Admiring how cool the purple plastic decoder ring looked on my hand I wondered briefly what had upset her so much.  Heck, I thought, I hadn’t even had a chance to tell her about the loud booms and about how fast daddy came running out of the place afterwards.  Oh, and his hat!  I should tell her that he lost his hat.  I’ll tell her that when she comes back in.  Tipping my head back and letting the last few kernels of sweet popcorn and peanuts roll into my mouth I thought, But I’ll just wait for her to cool off a little before I tell her anything else.

Enlightenment

In November of 1962, I was home on leave, having driven from my Air Force assignment in Winnemucca, Nevada.  It was a typical Houston winter day, mid 40’s with a stiff wind out of the north and a light chilly drizzle that swirled about coating and soaking everything with its shiny wetness.  Before leaving Nevada I had bought a decades old Chevrolet Bel-Air for the long trip back to Houston, and within thirty miles from reaching home, and late at night, the engine had died due to a clogged fuel pump.  A passing tow truck driver took pity on me and towed the car free of charge, dropping me off at my parents’ house well after midnight.

The next day I was up early and asked my mother if I could borrow their car to go to find an auto supply store to purchase a new fuel pump.  Returning later in the morning I found both my folks at home and sitting at the kitchen table.  By then my dad had been  retired from Younger Brothers for a few years, and was now heavily involved in the Pentecostal Church, mostly as a traveling lay minister.  They had moved from the old house on House Street, (now renamed Kashmere Street), and were living in a small rental that the church leadership had provided in exchange for his ministry.  It was old, and not much larger than the old house, but it was conveniently close to the church where he preached regularly.

Having a cup of coffee and reading the paper, my father asked, “So, did you find the fuel pump at the parts house OK?”

“Yeah, now I just need to find the energy to get off my butt and brave this crap weather to change it out.  You know, I just don’t understand.  I’m stationed in Nevada, and the temperature there can be twenty degrees, and I still find it possible to work outside in shirtsleeves.  Here it’s forty degrees and I start shivering within five minutes of going outside.”

“Es la humedad, mijo.”  (It’s the humidity.)  He said turning to the sports page.  “You’re just not used to it anymore.  Here, sit down and let me finish my coffee, then we’ll go out together and get that thing changed out in no time.”

“OK, thanks.”  I sat down at the table.

“Oh,” he quickly said.  “How much was the fuel pump?”

“Twelve dollars and some change, why?”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a hundred dollar bill.  “Here, some gas money for when the car’s fixed.  You still gotta drive it back, right?”

“Dad.  I don’t need any money.  I drew an advance on my check before I left so I should have enough to last me for the trip back.”

“Nonsense!”  He said.  “Take this, put it in your pocket and use it for traveling money back.  You never know what can go wrong.”

Then my mother chimed in.  “Si mijo, take the money.  We don’t spend too much nowadays.”

“No!”  I insisted.  “You both need the money more than I do.  I’m not going to take it.”

Putting the bill back into his pocket, he said with a little disappointment in his voice, “Suit yourself.”

“You want some coffee, mijo?”  My mother asked, as she cleaned around the small gas stove.

“No thanks Mom.  I know what real coffee tastes like now.  I really can’t believe you still just boil the grounds in a pan.”

“Oh, mister delicate!”  She chided.  “Your dad’s been drinking it like that all his life and he’s still alive.”

“Yeah, I know” I said.  “And I still don’t know how he doesn’t choke on the grounds.”

Sucking down the last of his coffee and smacking his lips as he put the cup down.  “You just gotta know what you’re doing.  Your mom’s coffee is not for amateurs.”  He smiled and wiggled his eyebrows, Groucho style.

I threw on a coat and we went out into the light drizzle.  After a few minutes of tinkering with the fuel hose and loosening the retaining bolts I said, “Dad, can I ask you something about something that happened when I was a kid?”

Peering into the dark engine housing through his worn and slightly bent turtle shell glasses he said, “Sure, and I’ll answer truthfully as long as the statute of limitations on the subject has expired.”  Looking over the top of the scratched up lenses he winked.

“Well, I don’t know, maybe not.”  I said cautiously.

“Shoot then.”  He quipped.

“OK, when I was little—I don’t know, maybe seven or eight…before my brother was born, for sure…one day you took me with you to some bar over on McCarthy Road because mom made you take me.  Remember?”

“Sure I remember.  I’m old, not senile. That, good buddy, would be your mom.”

“Seriously, dad.”

“OK, yeah, I remember.  Bill’s Joint.”  He added, as he pushed up his glasses.  And you spilled the beans when we got home.”

“Right!”  I looked up to see him shaking his head.  “Yeah, sorry about that, but I remember you went in and were there for a while—then some guy pulled up in a car next to ours and took a rifle out of his trunk.”

He pushed himself out from under the hood and took off his glasses. “Shotgun.  It was a shotgun.  You saw it, huh?”

“Yup.  I remember thinking how big and black that thing looked as he walked between the cars then went into the bar.”

“Hmm, I guess I should’ve asked you if you saw anything when I came out.”

“Well, as I recall, you were in a bit of a hurry.  Anyway, as he was going in the door I heard the jukebox playing what I now know was a Hank Williams song, and then I heard a lot of loud booms.  I assume now that he shot up the place.  Right?”

He looked around as if there may be someone hiding in the bushes with a recording device.  “OK look, I caught hell from your mom that day because you told her where I took you.  But if she’d ever found out what really happened that day in that bar she would’ve left me for sure.”

“Yeah, I remember she was really pissed anyway.  Okay, so what happened?  I assume it wasn’t good.”

“OK, but you have to promise me, man to man, that you’ll never breathe a word of this as long as I’m still alive.”

“Dad,” I reached over to pat him on the shoulder, “I know a lot of stuff that I saw when I was growing up that I’ve never told anyone.  So I’m not about to start now.”

“Hmmm,” he mused.  “We’ll have to discuss that subject at length one of these days.  But anyway, I went in to Bill’s to have a beer, but mainly I was there to try to collect on a gambling debt that Bill—that’s the owner—owed me.  He was behind the bar when I walked in.”

He paused to clean his glasses on his shirttail and held them out to make sure they were clean. “When I sat down on a stool,” he continued, “I noticed there were two other guys sitting a couple of bar stools away on either side of me, nursing their beers.  Call it a sixth sense, but as soon as I took my seat and looked around I got a case of the heebie-jeebies—you know?”  He perched his glasses back on his nose and rested his right foot up on the front bumper.  Crossing his arms over his knee, he leaned forward and focused his eyes somewhere very far away.

“I don’t think you remember, but the place was tiny; really just a rectangular wood frame building, the long side running left to right.  I think had been someone’s house a long time before.”

He paused, his face passive and his eyes narrowing and searching for that long forgotten visual memory.  “Anyway, Bill had gutted the place and built the bar so that when you sat on the stools your back was to the double doors, and the little windows that were on either side.  You know that I have never liked to sit anywhere with my back to the door.”  He shook his head negatively and rubbed his neck, slowly.  “But, there I was.”

He shot a nervous glance toward the house, and then continued.  “So Bill and I were chatting about how he was on a bad luck run, losing a couple of hundred dollars in just over a week when the door behind me suddenly opened.”  He started to get really nervous now; taking off his glasses again and cleaning them on his shirt-tail, and putting them back on repeatedly.

He continued, “Bill glanced up and I looked over my right shoulder.  All I saw was the shotgun that this guy was bringing it up to his shoulder.”

“Shit.” I said without thinking.

“Now if you were to ask me what this guy looked like, I could never tell you.  I never saw his face.  But I could sure tell you volumes about that gun.”

“He didn’t point it at you, did he?”  I asked.

“Ha, I didn’t wait long enough to find out.  Without even thinking, and with all my strength I grabbed the backside of the bar and pulled myself up and dove head first over the bar…right into Bill’s stomach.  I guess he must’ve be frozen because apparently he hadn’t moved an inch.  I hit him square in the gut, wrapped both my arms around him, and we both went down like sacks of potatoes onto the floor behind the bar.  He rolled over on top of me and that’s when I felt—didn’t really hear—the first two volleys.  I remember looking up and seeing a sheet of red spray raining down, mostly on Bill.

“God Dad, the guy shooting never said anything?”  I asked.

“I don’t think so, but I couldn’t hear so good then because the first volley blew my hearing out a bit.  I started crawling away from where I thought the guy was when I noticed that Bill was crawling the other way.  Then I heard the next two shots.  In my mind I remember thinking how funny they sounded: like loud metallic clangs—not booms at all.  I guess it was because we were inside a building and not outside where the sound could quickly dissipate.”

“Was the guy shooting at Bill?”

“That’s what I thought, but apparently having taken out the first guy, he’d quickly jammed two more cartridges and leveled on the second guy at the bar.  That guy was probably scared shitless, oh, sorry; anyway, he didn’t think to jump or run.  He just sat there, frozen.”

“Christ!”  I’d forgotten how unpleasant the cold drizzle was.

“By then,” he continued, “I was crab crawling as fast as I could to try to get behind a beer cooler near what should’ve been a back door.  Well, there was a door but it was blocked with four beer kegs, stacked two by two.

“So,” he continued. “Making myself as small as possible I squeezed down between the kegs and the cooler and finally took a chance to peek out to see where the shooter was.  That’s when I saw Bill at the far end of the bar starting to stand up with a pistol in his hand.  He must’ve had it stashed somewhere behind the bar and waited ‘till the guy blew off the second two rounds.  Almost dreamlike, I saw flame come out of the barrel and saw the recoil.  I don’t recall hearing the gun go off.”

“Did he hit the guy?”

“Put four rounds square in his face while he was trying to reload.  I felt the floor vibrate under me when the guy hit the floor.”

“Did Bill tell you to get out at that point?”

“Well, if he did I couldn’t hear him anyway.  No, I scooted around the end of the bar and tried to look out to find the shooter.  Then I saw him. He was on the floor, on his back with one leg under him, still holding the shotgun in one hand.  Half his forehead was split open and one of his eyeballs was hanging down by his cheek.  A geyser of blood was slowly pumping out of where his forehead used to be, and he was twitching a bit.

“I couldn’t believe the bastard was still holding the shotgun, broken open, and there were two live cartridges rolling on the floor.  He was planning to jam those into the breach and keep shooting.  Jesus, smoke was still curling out of the damn barrels.  That’s when I got up on all fours and baby crawled as fast as I could to the door.”

“What about the two other guys?  Where were they?”

“Don’t know, and at that time I didn’t care.  I got up and ran through the doors as fast as I could.  Took the screens right off their hinges as I went out, and got into the car as fast as I could.  I just wanted out of there.”

“Do you remember what you told me when you got into the car?”  I asked, curious.

“You know, I don’t remember very much until we got to Mobley’s Drug Store.  I don’t know why we were there, to tell you the truth.  But I remember you wanted some popcorn or something.”

“Cracker Jacks.”

“What?”

“I wanted Cracker Jacks…and a Coke, so I asked you to take me to Mobley’s Drug store.”

“OK.”  He was sweating a little bit now, or maybe it was just the drizzle.

“Jesus Dad, did the cops ever call to question you?”

“Bill never admitted to anyone else being in the bar.  For sure, aside from Bill, there were no witnesses left.  The crap part was that he never paid me my money, but I sure as hell wasn’t about to go back and ask him for it either.”

“Did Bill get in trouble with the law?”

“No, he was no-billed by the Grand Jury a couple of months later and the case was closed.  It was a clear case of self-defense.”

“What about the shooter?  Why did he go in like that?”  That was the question that I really wanted to have an answer to.

“Well, I really never found out for sure, but the talk around town was that one of the guys he gunned down had been messing with his wife.  I found out later that he’d killed her first at their house before he drove out to the bar.  Guess he knew where his wife’s boyfriend did his drinking.  Then after having done him, I guess he decided he couldn’t leave any witnesses.”

“Holy crap!”  I exclaimed.  “This sounds like a movie.”

“Well, I thought that maybe I should stay close to home a bit more after that, but that didn’t last too long.  I went back to drinking a couple of weeks later.”

“Have you seen Bill since then?”

“No, about a year after the shooting he sold the bar and we lost touch.  Then I heard he died of cancer a couple of years later.  He was only forty-eight.”

“Well, that was a hell of an experience.”  I said, quite amazed.

He ran his hand through his thinning hair, took a deep breath, and said, “Yeah, so just remember, don’t ever sit anywhere with your back to the door.

“Hey, this fuel pump ain’t getting fixed by itself!”  Rubbing his hands together vigorously he said, “Let’s finish up, I’m getting cold.”

Funny, I had forgotten all about the weather.

Call me crazy, or call me superstitious; but to this day I never sit with my back to any door, anywhere.  Not if I can help it.  Ask anyone.

***

There are two major things that make these previous recollections so extraordinary.  One, is that before I left home for the Air Force, my dad and I never had much of a speaking relationship.  Early on, most of the time he was either off working, out with his buddies drinking, and later on fraternizing with the church brothers and other reverends.  Whenever he was at home I remember him mostly sitting at the table drinking coffee (or buttermilk if he was nursing a hangover) and reading a newspaper.  Our usual communication would pretty much go like this:

Me:  “Hey dad, what’cha doing?”

Him: “Reading the paper, why?”  (Eyes still glued to the paper)

Me:  “Oh, nothing.  What’cha gonna do today?”

Him:  “I don’t know.  Go bother your mother, or go outside and play.”

And off I’d go.

Even right up to the day before I left for the Air Force in 1960, and after asking my mom to leave the room, he asked me to sit with him because he said he needed to tell me something very important.

“You know,” he started, tentatively, “you’ll be meeting women now that you’re going off on your own.”

“Yeah.”

“So, you’ll have to be careful…you know.”

“About what?”

“Women!” He started to tense up and I noticed a small tic working his upper lip.

“What about them will I have to be careful of?”  I asked curiously.

“You know.”

“No…I don’t.”

“Some of them are dirty.”  He quickly spit out.

“Uh, dirty, like what?  Like some of them don’t take baths?”

“No Pancho!  You know…down there.”  He nodded his head slightly downward.

I looked at the floor, then looked up at him.  “Their feet?”

“Look Frank,” he said, a bit exasperated.  “Some women carry sicknesses down there between their legs…so you have to be careful—that’s all.”

“What kind of sicknesses?”  This was starting to be fun.

“Clap!”  He blurted out.  “And…and…bugs, like fleas, but worse.”

He was getting real pale now and was doing his best to avert my gaze.

“Crap?” I asked.

“Jesus.”  He mumbled, staring at the floor.

“Look dad,” I finally said.  “Gonorrhea, syphilis, and crabs.  Does that about cover it?”

He slowly looked up at me and stared for a bit; nervously pursing and licking his lips, finally saying, “OK, so I want you to be careful and go out with women that are clean—OK?”

“Sure dad.  I’ll be sure to check them out before I take them out. We done?”

“Yup!”  This as he was anxiously getting up from the chair and escaping out the back door presumably to go tinker with the car.

The second extraordinary thing was his offering me money.  In all my life, previous to my leaving home that is, my father had never, ever, offered me, or my mother, any money—for anything!  No money on birthdays, none (of course) for my high school graduation, and certainly none for any kind of allowance. Even when he was making good money prior to going to work for Younger Brothers, he’d stop by the house on payday (usually Friday) and give my mother a twenty dollar bill.  “This is for groceries.”  He’d say, as he was walking back out the door and to his car not to be seen again until maybe Sunday.  By then he was broke.

A Discovery and the Brothers

The Sunday night service we attended that evening didn’t end until well after ten o’clock.  My brother had fallen asleep halfway into the service and when the final hymn and dismissal prayer had concluded he lay sprawled face down on the pew, mouth open, a small puddle of spittle slowing pooling where the back rest and seat met.

As I got up, slowly flexing my stiff back muscles and lightly stamping the prickly pins out of my numb right foot, I saw that Reverend Villa had left the stage and was making his way towards us—glad handing and smiling broadly at some of the members who had migrated up to the pulpit area.  He raised his left hand in our direction while seemingly ignoring Sister Sánchez as she hurried up to him, her pudgy little hand extended—probably hoping for a warm handshake and a willing ear.  Brushing quickly past her and still waving his arm and hand directly at my dad he yelled, “¡Señor De León!  Un momento por favor.”  He slowed his pace as he caught my dad’s eye.

Acknowledging the reverend’s calls my dad looked over to my mom. “Evelyn, get Ricky up and wait for me outside.  The reverend wants to talk to me.”  He then moved down the pew toward the right side exit next to the wall.

Before my mom could respond, Mrs. Villa, who had been chatting with a couple of sisters on the pew in front of us, turned and said, “Señora De León, I’ll help you with the boy.  Just let me come around.”

“Pancho, ayúdame con tu hermano.”  (…help me with your brother)  Mom asked as she tried to pick him up off the pew.  Mrs. Villa made it around the pew and grabbed my brother’s legs as my mom wrestled with his head and upper body.

“¡Aye, que pesado es este niño!”  (…this kid is heavy!)  Mrs. Villa exclaimed.

“Sí, ya se.” (Yes, I know.) My mom responded.  “Es muy comelón.” (He’s quite the eater.)

Together, they managed to push my brother’s chubby limp body up to where my mom could cradle his bottom with one arm while his head lolled over her shoulder.  As she made her way to the side exit door I saw that my brother, mouth open and head bouncing with my mom’s every step, had resumed his spittle production and a bit of it was running down the back of her dress.

Following at a safe distance I paused just before I got to the door and looked to my left where the musicians were busily packing up their instruments.  Joni was standing there, one knee on the piano bench, talking to a guy whom I’d never seen before.  He was tall, sported a dark complexion and wore his hair in a greasy Elvis-style pompadour.  For just a moment they both stopped talking and shot a glance over in my direction.  I thought about waving to her, but then thought better of it since the guy might think it was him that I was waving to.  Before I had a chance to finish the thought they both turned away continuing their conversation.  Watching for a few more seconds I saw that she was very relaxed and was smiling widely and nodding enthusiastically at whatever he was saying.  Feeling a bit dejected I turned away and walked out into the dark parking lot breaking into a little sprint to catch up with my mom and brother.

After Mrs. Villa and my mom shoved Ricky into the back seat of the car, my mother opened the trunk, pulled out an old thin flannel blanket, and covered my brother from head to toe.

“Para los mosquitos”.  She quietly explained to no one in particular.

After quietly closing the door and looking in the window to make sure my brother was still sound asleep, my mother asked Mrs. Villa, “¿Bueno, y entonces a donde vamos?”  (OK, where to now?)

“Vamos al comedor.”  Mrs. Villa instructed. “Allí podemos platicar acerca de la Sociedad de Hermanas en nuestra iglesia.”  (Let’s go into the dining room.  We can talk there about the Sisterhood in our church.)

I wasn’t sure I’d heard her correctly when she mentioned a “dining room”.  We were outside in the parking lot, and as far as I could remember the Villa house was not anywhere within walking distance.

“¿El comedor?”  My mom asked, with a puzzled look on her face.

“Si.  Allá está al otro lado de la iglesia.” (Yes, it’s on the other side of the church.)  Mrs. Villa said as she began to walk behind the church.

Rounding the back side of the church I saw that there was actually a small square wooden building that was hidden away from the street and parking lot view.  It was dimly illuminated by a couple of light bulbs hanging from metal fixtures guarding both sides of a small screen door.  Through the brightly lit windows I could see several people inside milling about and talking loudly amid the sharp din of clanging tin spoons and the rattling of cups and saucers.

I followed as the two women climbed the sagging wooden steps, and once inside I was overwhelmed with the pungent aroma of brewing coffee and the sweet smell of warm bread.  I recognized a few of the church members I’d seen in church, and couldn’t help but notice the large old man who played the bajo sexto—smooth brown skinned bald head shining brightly—leaning on a small counter where a large commercial sized coffee pot bubbled noisily away.  Next to his elbow I spotted a nice variety of pastries that sent my saliva glands into rapid overdrive.

There were probably a dozen, or so, people there, standing around in small groups balancing coffee cups, saucers, and morsels of sweet Mexican pastry, while merrily conversing and laughing raucously.  Once Mrs. Villa was spotted, the conversations quickly died away and all eyes turned to acknowledge her presence.

Sporadically, “Buenas noches, hermana”, “Hola Señora Villa”, “Dios la bendiga, Hermana”, rang through the small room.

“¡Hermanos!” Mrs. Villa said—raising her voice slightly to attract the attention of those few who had missed her entrance and had continued their conversations.  Clearing her throat, she announced, “Ya conocen a la Señora De León y su hijo, Frankie.”  (You all already know Mrs. De León and her son, Frankie), magnanimously delivered with a sweep of her arm.  “Y, por favor, continúen con sus refrescos y postres.” (And, please, continue with your refreshments and pastries.)

Turning around she put her arm on my shoulder and said, “Go!  If you want some coffee, the cups are over there and the pastries are on the counter.  One of our members works in a Mexican panaderia (bakery) and he…well, he brings us what they don’t sell.”

I didn’t need a second invitation so I made a charge towards the sweets.  Working my way around the large bass playing brother I grabbed a yummy looking pan de huevo (egg bread: fluffy soft and sweet), and looked to find a cup.

“¿Te llamas Panchito, eh?” (Your name is Frankie, eh?) The bass player asked, rubbing his head.

“Yes.  Donde están las copas?”  (Where are the cups?)

“Aquí, mijo.”  He pointed to a shelf beneath the counter on which the large coffee maker and pastries were sitting.

After pouring myself about a half a cup of coffee and adding plenty of cream to help wash the sweet bread down, I looked around the “comedor” and wondered how I’d never seen it before.  Stepping out to escape the stuffiness of the small building, I saw that at night if the lights were off, the building—tucked away in a corner of the lot behind the church—would be almost invisible.

When I had attended daytime services I hadn’t seen it because there was never a need to go exploring behind the church.  I would later learn that el comedor was where several of the more senior sisters of the church (the best cooks, no doubt) would spend most of the day preparing and serving breakfast, lunch, and dinner to the members and guests attending church conferences (always scheduled on Saturday); and cooking and serving the membership and guests attending evangelical revivals.

Seeing that my mom was surrounded by several other sisters, seemingly talking to her all at the same time, I decided to step out into the cooler night air.  Nursing my coffee I walked slowly back to my car and peeked into the car through the passenger side window to check on Ricky.  He was still under the blanket sound asleep.

As I turned around to make my way back to the dining room I was startled to see that Joni’s two brothers were standing quietly, arms crossed, staring directly at my face.

“Oh, hi!”  I said, maybe a little too loud.

“Hey.” The bigger and older of the two responded.  “What’s your name?”

“Uh, Frankie…Frank.”

“Oh yeah,” the big one said to the smaller one.  “…he’s the new kid…De León, right?” Turning back to face me.

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“Word of advice.”  Big boy sneered.  “Our sister is not interested in you.  So back off, ese.”

“Yeah,” said the little one.  “Not at all.  She likes Gilbert.”

“¡Cállate pendejo!”  (Shut up, stupid!)  The big one spit out, glaring at his brother. “He don’t need to know our business, or hers.”  The younger one looked down at his shoes.

“I..ah..I’m not interested in your sister—not in that way, I mean.”  I lied.  “I just thought we could be friends.”

“She doesn’t have friends, ese…not boyfriends.  Not like you.  Get it?”  The big guy whispered loudly, as he took a step closer.

“That’s fine.”  I managed to wheeze out.  “No problem.”

“So long as you understand.”  The smaller one added.

“See,” his brother continued, “she’s never going to end up with some mojado (wetback) who can’t support her and ends up kicking her ass every weekend.  Or some loser like some of the pendejos that go to this church.”

Now, this was really going quite a bit further than I had imagined because I had never entertained the thought of dating anyone, much less marrying someone.  And now I’m being accused by a couple of red headed bullies of moving in on their sister.  I was beginning to get a bit agitated about their attitude; to say nothing of the language the sons of the mighty Reverendo Villa were using.

Stupidity suddenly took over and I heard myself saying, “Look guys, I’m not looking to find a girlfriend or anything like that.  I just liked your sister and talked to her because she seemed nice and she plays the piano really well.  That’s all.  But truly, I don’t need to hear this bullshit from either of you.  And, especially you being reverend’s sons.  So, let’s just drop this now.”

The world turned very quiet, and got very small—and I felt as if I had suddenly been thrust into a vacuum.  Time stopped, and I marveled at my foolhardiness.  Where in the hell had all those words just come from? 

Just then…

“Oye.”  (Listen.) The big one said to the smaller one; his voice reaching my ears like an echo.  “He’s Robert’s fucking little friend.”

The world reappeared.

Instead of a right hook to the face or a kick to the groin, the brothers simultaneously put their hands out for a shake.  “Tienes cojones, vato.”  (You got balls, dude.)  Said the big one.  “We were just fucking with you, ese.”  “¿Verdad?”  He affirmed with his brother.

We shook all around.

“Peter!”  Said the older brother.

“Eddie!” Said the younger one.

“Frank!” I announced boldly, while shaking their hands.

“Hey, ese!  I like this little fucker.”  Eddie said, looking up at Peter.

“Yeah.” Peter said, nodding his head and stretching the word out. “But we’re not fucking kidding about Joni.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not interested.”  With that I decided that I had skated on thin ice long enough and pushed between them heading back to the dining room.  Looking up I saw my mother coming out, accompanied by Mrs. Villa and a couple of other sisters.  Looking to my left I spotted my dad stepping out the church’s side door while Reverend Villa held the screen door open.  I veered over towards my dad and the reverend.

“Hey boy!”  My dad shouted cheerfully.  “Ready to go home?”

“Yup.”  I answered, wondering why he was in such a good mood.

“Where’s your mom?”

Pointing in the direction of the dining room I said, “Over there.  She’s with Mrs. Villa.”

Closing the screen door behind him, Reverend Villa said, “Allá está el comedor, hermano; como le dije.”  (The dining room is over there, brother; just as I said.)  As he tapped my dad’s shoulder while pointing the small rectangular building out.

“Oh yeah, you know I could sure use some coffee.”  My dad said as the reverend came around to my dad’s side.  “Then we gotta go…Frank has some homework he needs to finish tonight.”

“No te preocupes, hermano.”  (Don’t worry, brother.)  The reverend said.  Then in a loud voice directed to his wife, “¡Querida!  Tráele una copa de papel con un cafecito para que el hermano se lo lleve a la casa.”  (Sweetheart!  Bring some coffee in a paper cup so brother can take it home.)

Mrs. Villa waved and turned back toward the dining room.  My mom, still escorted by the other two sisters, continued to head to our car.

I stopped to see if Peter and Eddie were still standing by our car, but saw that they’d walked away and were now standing behind their new Buick.  Well, I thought.  I didn’t feel like introducing them to my parents anyway.  I don’t particularly like them.

On the trip home I was a bit mystified by the good mood that both my parents were in.  My dad was whistling a catchy tune and my mom was trying to hum along with the melody—badly.  It took me a while, but shortly before pulling into our yard I realized that they had been intoning one of the cheery little “coritos” that Joni occasionally launched into to keep the congregation’s spirits high.

***

My mother was the first to surrender to the Pentecostal religion.  That event occurred after a particularly fiery sermon had been delivered during a Thursday night service by a visiting, and very charismatic, female preacher.  The following morning, as I was getting ready for school, I heard her praying in a shaky teary voice, begging God and all His angels to help her by somehow also bringing her husband to Jesus.

Ever since that Sunday night service when they had gone off to speak in private, the Reverend Villa had been working hard on my father.  And whenever my father failed to attend any service we could surely count on the little caravan of Villa’s disciples faithfully paying us a home visit the very next day; most of the time led by the man himself.  I began to sense a change in my father and his well-known habits.  He’d suspended his usual Friday night forays, instead packing us up and dragging us to church.  On Saturdays, instead of butter-milking away a dreadful hangover he worked on our car or sat on the porch leafing through a bible that he’d somehow mysteriously acquired.  Sundays?  Well, you know where we spent most of the day.  The magic that Reverend Villa and his minions were working on my dad finally took hold.

One Sunday evening about two months after my mother took the dive, my father, deep in the throes of religious fervor and crying like a baby, was all but carried to the altar by a group of brothers; and within the hour, surrounded by a sweaty and teary-eyed throng of the church’s most devout members, confessed that he’d been a terrible sinner and declared Jesus as his personal savior.  On his knees, tears flowing like water down his cheeks and body shaking uncontrollably, he sorrowfully traded in his wayward life for a shiny new calling.

Reverend Villa, seeing his efforts finally rewarded, lifted his sweat drenched head and bellowed to the very heavens:  “¡Señor!  ¡Te amos entregado la alma de este pecador mundial, y Usted nos ha devuelto un soldado de Jesucristo!  ¡Gloria a Dios! Y gracias por el sacrificio que Su Hijo nos ha dado!  Le has lavado los pecados con la sangre sagrada de Tu Hijo.  ¡Aleluia y aleluia!” (Lord, we have delivered unto You the soul of an earthly sinner, and You have returned to us a soldier for Jesus Christ!  Glory to God!  And thank You for the sacrifice your Son has given for us!  You have washed away his sins with the sacred blood of your Son! )

Sitting uncomfortably on the hard pew with my sleeping brother’s head in my lap, I watched as my mother went down on her knees crying and thanking God for the miracle she was seeing.  I was nervous and confused, and as I watched my brother sleep peacefully, I wondered what all of this meant for me—for us.

After having smoked two to three packs a day since he was a teen and drinking the equivalent of two fifths of hard whiskey just about every weekend for years, my father quit everything cold turkey overnight.  To my knowledge he never did smoke another cigarette, and it was decades later that I actually saw him drink alcohol—a margarita, while having lunch at a Mexican restaurant in Houston with me and a girlfriend in the early 1990’s.

With both my parents now fully entrenched in the Pentecostal religion, and proselytizing to anyone who would listen (and even those who wouldn’t) about their faith, I truly began to believe that our pitiful and poverty-stricken family life would now take a positive turn and come to be more peaceful, predictable, and most of all, financially stable.

I was sadly mistaken.

 

From Sinners To Saints…Part II

From Sinners To Saints…Part II

 

Boy’s Night Out

 

The service that Friday night was just a bit different from what I’d seen previously. Because it was designated as “El Servicio de los Hermanos” (Brothers’ Service), it was run by, and for, the male membership of the church; and meant to nurture and strengthen the spiritual bonds among the men.

Similar services during the week, with similar goals, were categorized as Youth Night (Tuesdays—both sexes combined), and Sisters’ Night (Thursdays). Mondays and Wednesdays were reserved as special prayer circle nights where anyone with particular or pressing needs such as a serious illness, lingering family problems, or sudden catastrophes, could attend and have the prayer specialists deliver their supplications to God via special delivery. These services were sparsely attended, usually no more than five to eight of the more devout members, and lasted no more than ninety minutes. No music, no offering, no singing…but a whole lot of praying.

Saturdays were reserved for special occasions such as conferences, financial meetings attended by the church leadership, and of course forming up and dispatching various outreach raiding parties.

Even though the service that night was Brothers’ Night, there were probably more women than men in attendance, but I did notice that the pews near the front of the church were populated by men, whereas the majority of the women had migrated to the back of the auditorium.

Having taken my seat on the hard wooden pew to my mother’s left I noticed that missing from his prominent chair on the stage, and particularly from the honored place on the first pew, was the Reverend Villa and his wife. Joni was also missing, and in her place on the piano was the pathetic little girl who had played when I attended my first Sunday service a few weeks earlier. She was again torturously eliciting flats when sharps were called for, and sharps when anything else would’ve sounded better. The drummer and the bajo sexto (fat bass guitar) player were courageously trying to keep time with her uniquely halting style, and the one trumpet player who had showed up that night had apparently finally given up altogether and was busying himself by furiously polishing his already gleaming horn.

After bringing a normally soothing and solemn hymn to a ragged yet merciful end, the girl (whose name I would later learn was Magdalena) stole a quick glance at the large wall clock hanging on the wall over the piano and quickly stood up and scurried off to join her beaming family at the rear of the church. The accompanying musicians on the stage produced a very vocal and coördinated sigh of relief and the bass guitar player, casting his eyes unto heaven, pulled a huge hand towel from his back pocket and energetically mopped his soaking brow. From the congregation came a scattering of “¡Gracias a Dios!”, and “¡Gloria a JesuCristo!”—giving me the distinct impression that they were not necessarily just praising God, maybe they were sincerely thanking Him.

Just then the side door through which we had entered earlier opened and the Villa family, minus the two brothers, made their entrance. Stopping just inside the doors, the reverend, followed by his wife then Joni, threw open his arms and enthusiastically bellowed, “¡Que Dios los bendiga!” This brought the crowd around and they responded, “¡Y a usted, hermano!” The men already seated on the stage stood up respectfully, each nodding their acknowledgment of the reverend and his family.

Instead of turning right and taking his place on the stage, Reverend Villa took his wife’s arm and escorted her to her usual place on the pew just in front of us. Just as Mrs. Villa sat down the reverend looked up and captured all three of us with his jet black eyes. Placing a knee on the pew he crossed his arms on the back of the pew and addressed us.

“Ah sí,” he said. “Ustedes son la familia De León, ¿no?” (You’re the De León family, no?)

Jerking my head away from his gaze and looking at my mother to my right, I saw her with a look of sheer terror with her left hand clutching her throat and gasping as if she’d swallowed a jalapeño and her right arm tightly wrapped around my little brother’s chest. My dad, however, was doing his “Joe Cool” impression—slyly smirking while casually crossing his legs—with his right hand blindly reaching for his Camels in his breast pocket!

“That’s us brother!” My dad said, cocking his head a little to the left. “And you? You must be Reverend Villa. Right?” His Camel reaching hand stopped in mid clutch and the tips of his fingers gently caressed the pack through the shirt pocket.

“Sí hermano. Bienvenidos a nuestra iglesia.” The reverend said—his gaze sweeping us from right to left and back. Focusing on my dad and glancing quickly at the cigarettes in my dad’s pocket, he softly said, “Conozco a su hijo, Frankie. He’s been here before; and from what I hear you and your wife attended the church many years ago.” His English was heavily accented, but very precise.

“Ah, you speak English.” My dad said, completely ignoring the reverend’s comments. “And not too badly either.” He cynically added.

“Well, you know brother,” the reverend said, breaking into a wide smile that turned his eyes into black inverted crescents and caused his upper lip to pull up and away from his pearly white teeth. “Bueno…I live here in Houston, so one has to speak the language. ¿Verdad?”

Out of nowhere my mother, having regained her ability to speak and seeing that my dad was not going to introduce her, blurted, while pointing at her forehead, “And, yo am Evelyn…uh, soy Avelina…uh, De León…uh, Bob’s mother and Frankie’s wife…No! I’m married to Bob over here…” (Flashing her thumb at my dad as if hitchhiking), “…and Frankie’s my mijo…our mijo…son!”

“Encantado.” The reverend said smoothly, ignoring my mother’s blubbering blunders and extending his right hand.

Hoping my mother wouldn’t drop to her knees and kiss his hand instead of shaking it, all I could think of doing was to grin and continue to sit on my hands.

Saving the moment my dad quickly stood and instead took the reverend’s hand in a manly grip, shaking it firmly. “Igualmente.” (Likewise) My dad said just as smoothly.

Still smiling and letting my father’s hand go, Reverend Villa pushed back from the pew and put both feet on the floor. Extending his right hand, palm up, towards his wife, he looked down at her and said, “Y les presento mi señora, Señora Villa.”

Mrs. Villa shifted her body slightly to the right, and still sitting, looked directly at my mother, smiling.

“Que gusto, Señora De León.” She said while extending her right hand over the back of her pew, palm down and three fingers out.

Stuttering, my mother managed to say, “Sí, me too…también..” She gripped Mrs. Villa’s three fingers with her entire hand and began to pump them vigorously.

Mrs. Villa’s natty little black hat did a slight slide to the right and then down towards her forehead before she was able to wrench her three fingers from my mother’s gyrating fist.

“Hey Frank!” An angel voice from my left. “Glad you came back—and, without your thug friend!” Joni added with a twinge of laughter.

“Oh, hi! I said, swiveling left to face her. “Yeah, I came with my parents tonight.”

Looking over my head she said, “Oh, glad to meet you!” And gave them a little wave. “OK”, As she rubbed her hands together, “…gotta go warm up the crowd. See you after the service.”

“Yeah, that kid that plays before you come in is pretty bad.”

“Well, she’s just learning…so give her a break.”

“I know…OK, see ya.”

With that she spun on her heel and floated off towards the piano. The band perked up noticeably, and my heart did a little somersault.

Turning back to my parents I saw that my dad was now standing and was conversing with the reverend. His stance said it all: legs slightly apart and leaning a tad right, weight on his right leg, arms tightly crossed in front of his body, his head tilted up and cocked right, and a smile on his lips that was just north of a sneer. He certainly wasn’t buying whatever the reverend was selling.

My mother, was sitting on the edge of the pew, chin resting in the palm of her right hand, staring at the back of Mrs. Villa’s head. She seemed a bit dazed.

“Mom, are you OK?” I said as I sat back down and slid a bit closer to her.

“Sí mijo; what time is it?” Now this was number one of my mother’s many classic eccentricities. Anytime she was stressed, confused, or embarrassed she would either stare intently at the watch on her wrist, as if it were some alien growth—if no one was around—or ask what time it was if someone was around. This was her way of changing the subject.

“Oh, almost seven. Why?” I knew why.

“¡Mira!” (Look!) She said then, while pointing with her left index finger to some random point in space. This then was eccentricity number two. Whenever she found that eccentricity number one hadn’t worked she resorted to eccentricity number two. Normally anyone would turn to see what she was pointing at just to find nothing to see at all. Turning back to ask what it was that she was pointing at my mother would then coolly respond, “Oh, nada.” (Nothing). And hurriedly change the subject.

“Mom, stop it, there’s nothing there. What’s wrong?”

“Mira.” As she pointed at an opposite point in random space.

“Mom! Stop it!”

“Oh you!” This was her patented “go-to” remark when she couldn’t think of anything else to say.

I sat back and looked over to where Joni was taking her place at the piano. After adjusting her posture she addressed the musicians with a look then dipped her head as a downbeat. They then began to play an energetic little hymn that prompted Reverend Villa to end his conversation with my dad, shake his hand, and turn to walk regally to the stage to take his seat next to the pulpit.

A little after seven Joni brought the song to a thundering conclusion—eliciting a bunch of holy accolades from the audience, then she quickly took her place on the first pew on the left side of the church. One of the men onstage, who always seemed to be sitting in the same chair on the opposite side of Reverend Villa, slowly stood and took center stage. The congregation quieted down as he shuffled back and forth through the pages of his bible trying to find his bookmark with one hand while adjusting his reading glasses with the other. Having finally found his place he looked up, focused on the congregation over his readers, and cleared his throat.

“Buenas noches hermanos. Voy a leer un verso y entonces vamos a orar para darle gracias a Dios por la oportunidad de servirle.” (I’m going to read a verse then we’re going to pray to thank God for giving us the opportunity to serve Him.)

After reading a (thankfully) small verse, he peered over his readers into the audience, and after scanning the crowd, pointed and said, “Hermano González, llévanos en oración, por favor.” (Brother González, please lead us in prayer.) As everyone rose from their seat, a small dark man on the left side of the church quickly raised both his arms high to heaven and enthusiastically launched into a spirited supplication. In a loud and slightly hoarse voice he began by calling out the Lord and beseeching Him to descend upon this church tonight to seek out the very souls of all the condemned sinners who were surely on the road to eternal flaming Hell. This seemed to energize the crowd and they responded with an undulating chorus of sacred affirmations, a few whoops and a bunch of “¡Sí Señor!” I got the distinct feeling that they were all talking directly to, and precisely about, us. So I dared not look up, fearing I’d see divine lightning bolts rushing down from heaven to exterminate our sinful souls. Mercifully Hermano González finally brought his pleadings to an end and we all sat back down—sinful souls intact.

The rest of the service followed the familiar pattern that I had already experienced before, except that the majority of the testimonials, along with the usual Biblical verse recitations, and the gathering of the offering, were performed specifically by men. Looking around when I could I saw that the female membership seemed content to just sit quietly in their pews furiously fanning themselves with the little paper fans and occasionally shushing a child here and there.

Endurance

Where this service differed from the others that I’d attended was the notable lack of spiritual intensity that I had previously observed. Although the structure of the service was basically the same, it seemed to me to be more businesslike and less gospel-like.

As an example, during one part of the service just before the sermon and the service closing activities, another male member, who had sat in one of the chairs on the stage, took over the pulpit and began reading entries from a green bookkeeping ledger. Items included offering totals for the four Fridays in the month, expenditures directly related to the male oriented church activities, and results of self-directed tasks in regards to church building repairs, maintenance and upkeep. All very boring stuff to a young teen who was more interested in daydreaming a few impossible romantic scenarios—all involving the red-haired piano player.

The service ground on and on until it was finally time for the sermon. Fully expecting Reverend Villa to majestically rise and (literally) wake the masses with his magnificent vocal delivery, I was instead surprised to hear the director of the service introduce a small fidgety young man who had apparently been sitting on the stage hidden from view behind the pulpit all along.

With an exaggerated sweeping flourish of his right arm, the service director announced, “¡Hermanos, ahora con la palabra de Dios les presento nuestro amado hermano Vicente Aguilar!” (…now with the word of God I present to you our esteemed brother…).

As he left his chair and shuffled slowly towards the pulpit the little guy appeared to be sweating profusely and looked not unlike a death row convict being led to his ultimate demise. In his left hand he was carrying a bible that looked like it weighed more than he did, and in his left dangled a huge red and black bandana. My mother, staring intently, quickly brought her left index finger up to tightly purse her lips in order to suppress a giggle that desperately needed to be let out. Others in the congregation weren’t quite so successful.

Reverend Villa, perhaps sensing that perhaps some of the evening’s holy decorum was quickly evaporating suddenly stood, and in a booming voice addressed the heavens.

“¡Aleluia, y Gracias a Dios!”

Instead of having the intended calming effect on the audience that Reverend Villa probably wanted, his supplication came so abruptly and with such volume that it rattled the already fidgety Brother Aguilar and caused him to lurch back and to the right. His eyes bulging like freshly peeled boiled eggs his feet tangled and he went down to the floor, bible flying and bandana flapping.

My mother, unable to contain herself any further, let out a little snort, looked at my father, and pointed her finger into random space. “Mira”.

Dad, legs casually crossed while regally leaning back with his arms spread and resting on the back of the pew, slowly turned and gave my mother a blank stare quietly mouthing, “Vieja loca.”

Never one to be left out of embarrassing activities, my little brother Ricky, who was sitting between my parents, let out a yelp as the brother went down, and quite unexpectedly, and very loudly, farted. His butt cheeks, constrained hard together into the old wooden pew compacted the passing gas in such a manner that when suddenly released it resonated in a tortured, squealing high C. What Reverend Villa had not been able to carry out, my brother did—the whole place went dead quiet.

Looking up between the fingers of the hand that I’d used to hide my face I saw Joni glancing over her right shoulder and looking directly at me. Smiling sweetly she winked, licked her lips and quickly moved over to the piano bench. Taking her cue, Reverend Villa rushed over and helped the struggling brother up to his feet—pointing him in the direction of the pulpit.

“¡Vamos a cantar un corito, hermanos!” (Let’s sing a little chorus, brothers!) The reverend announced as he handed Brother Aguilar his humongous bible and tent-like bandana.

Joni launched into a spirited tune while the harried supporting musicians rushed to bring their instruments to bear. Tambourines rang out from the mostly female crowd in the back and everyone stood up, clapping in time, joining in the joyful din, seemingly quickly forgetting the struggling Brother Aguilar.

Having regained his feet with the reverend’s help, and now firmly positioned behind the pulpit, Brother Aguilar wiped his brow and nervously began to look for his lost place in his extra-large bible. Reverend Villa, almost overpowering the entire congregation with his deeply echoing baritone voice, encouraged the crowd with exaggerated band leader-like arm gestures, then closed his eyes and raised his head high.

When the chorus ended in a hail of “alleluia, gracias Señor, and gloria a Dios”, and everyone had again taken their seat, Brother Aguilar looked nervously at the crowd and timidly began his sermon. It was dreadful, and it seemed to last forever. Mumbling, stumbling, and often completely losing his entire train of thought, it was an exercise in total confusion. Even the most faithful in the crowd began to express their impatience by yawning long and loud and trailing it off with a long-winded “alleluia”.

Throughout this painful ordeal I noticed Reverend Villa maintaining a sort of stoic presence; a physical façade that included hands clasped reverently on his lap, eyes glancing dreamily at some point in space, and head nodding occasionally in agreement when Brother Aguilar tried to make a salient point. Interestingly though, several times I noticed that the reverend would suddenly look directly at my dad—holding his gaze steady until my dad met his in return. Was that a veiled smile that crossed Villa’s face as his eyes darted up and away, and broke the connection?

Dad, alternately crossing his legs, wore a bored expression—and except for the times he intercepted the reverend’s stare—sat perfectly still, alternately stroking his silk tie and the pack of Camels in his breast pocket.

My brother had fallen asleep still sitting on the pew, his head resting on my mother’s lap; while she, however, seemed to be in another world—slowly fanning herself mechanically and rocking dreamily to some soothing mental melody.

I was bored beyond words and spent each eternal minute getting intimately reacquainted with my fingers, nails, cuticles and palms.

Much later, and when we had become regular church-goers, I came to understand that on Brothers’ Night (as was the custom with all the other designated nights) someone from that particular segment of the church membership was always chosen as guest sermon giver for the evening. Ostensibly this gave that particular group some measure of ownership for their respective services, while also assisting the church leadership in discovering any potential future preachers hidden within the lay population. Unfortunately for Brother Aguilar on this night, everyone in attendance (and probably him too) knew he would never make that cut.

He ended the sermon much like he’d started: mumbling into this bible while mopping his brow and occasionally looking up at the congregation as if seeing them for the first time.

Then, mercifully he said, “Bueno, ya acabé”. (OK, I’m finished). “Dios los bendiga.”

The paper fans in the audience suddenly shifted into a faster gear and long numbed butts began to slide into new and cooler areas of the pews. Joni stood up and moved to the piano bench as the other musicians flexed fingers, wet lips and twirled drumsticks. Reverend Villa left his seat and tightly embraced a slightly befuddled Brother Aguilar, who finally extricating himself from Villa’s loving bear hug, looked around smiling—as if he’d just been ransomed out of captivity.

Joni and her group began to play the usual service closing hymn as Reverend Villa took possession of the pulpit and proceeded to officially close the service.

The Personal and Painful Touch

As we were gathering ourselves to leave, Mrs. Villa turned around and addressed my mother:

“It was really nice to see all of you together here in our church tonight. Did you enjoy the service?”

“Oh, shure.” My mother said gleefully while trying to get Ricky to stand. “It was very nice.”

“Well, don’t leave yet because my husband would like to speak to you and your husband in private.”

“¡Oye, Bob! ¿Oiste a la hermana?” (Hey, Bob! Did you hear the sister?) My mom spoke to my dad’s back as he was hurriedly getting his hat and mapping out a rapid escape route to tame the raving nicotine beast.

“¿Qué?” Dad said, looking annoyingly back at mom.

“Dice que el reverendo quiere hablar con nosotros.” (She says the reverend wants to speak to us.) Mom explained.

Now turning to face Mrs. Villa my dad looked down longingly at the sweet-smelling pack of cigarettes in his shirt, then looked up and said, “Well, OK. But we gotta go pretty soon.”

Mrs. Villa looked up to the stage where her husband was enthusiastically shaking Brother Aguila’s hand, and probably congratulating him for not totally alienating his entire congregation. Waving her hand at her husband to attract his attention she turned and said to my parents, “He’s on his way down and I know he really wants to speak to you.” My dad looked annoyed, my mom looked confused, my brother looked cranky and hungry; and I looked at Joni.

“Mom,” I said, seizing a visible opportunity. “I’m going to go up to talk to the musicians while you talk to the reverend. OK?”

As she turned to look to my dad for approval, Mrs. Villa said, “Frankie, that’s a good idea. You should meet brother Cantú. He’s the one that plays the big bass guitar. And also Tommy. He’s one of the trumpet players—and did you know his name is De León, also? But he’s not related, I’m sure.”

I really didn’t care to meet either one of those guys, I just wanted to talk to Joni.

“Oh!” I said, mocking interest and surprise. “Yeah, that would be great. If it’s OK with my parents, I mean.”

Completely ignoring my mom and dad, who were now in a quiet discussion with each other, Mrs. Villa said, “Sure, why don’t you go over there and I’ll come and get you when your parents are ready to leave.” She touched my mother’s shoulder. “Está bien, Señora De León, ¿verdad?”

Mom turned back to me and said, “OK, go! Pero, be ready to go when we are!” My dad was looking wistfully through a window out at the dark parking lot.

“Hey, can I go too?” My brother asked.

“NO!” I quickly answered. Then, whispering in his ear, “You stay here with mom and dad, pedoso.” (Farty).

He made a face and looked as if he was going to say something else, or maybe try to smack me; and I quickly turned and hurried off to where Joni was talking to a girl and the musicians were packing up.

“Hey Joni?” I called as I walked up.

She looked over her shoulder, and for a split second I thought I sensed a look of displeasure cloud her face. “Oh…hi. I thought you’d left already.”

“No, your dad wants to talk to my parents so I thought I’d come over to say hello while they talk.”

“Yeah, well I’m kind of busy talking to Susana here. Why don’t you introduce yourself to brother Cantú?” She turned away briskly and picked up her conversation with Susana, who was staring at me as if she was looking at a giant green amoeba.

Well, I could’ve cared less about meeting the bass guy, or the other guy on the horn. All I had really wanted to do was to talk to Joni. But now for the first time in my life as I stood there by myself and with no one to talk to, I became painfully aware of who I really was; and I felt shame.

My head dropped and I noticed my cheap, scuffed brown shoes, sitting just below my almost too short black cotton pants, hitched up with a tattered olive drab military style belt, topped with a clownishly large thin white shirt; and I became pitifully aware of a deep throbbing emptiness in the pit of my stomach. That very moment would mark the very first time, but certainly not the last, that I would experience humiliation, rejection, and deep shame. Sadly, I was so young and inexperienced that I just had no way of dealing with the feelings that were now ripping through my soul. So I did the only thing I could: I turned, swiftly walking away, my suddenly moist eyes sweeping the church for my parents—but they were gone.

Not knowing exactly where to go I looked around the rapidly emptying church to see if I could spot my parents and brother. Nothing. I dared not look behind me to see if Joni was still engaged in conversation with Susana, so I just slowly walked back to the pew where we’d been and sat heavily down.

Pulling back into the quiet security of my mind, I sat looking out the window. I saw groups of people slowly moving towards their vehicles while swerving headlights bounced gently, illuminating the white crushed shell parking lot—sharp shadows masking its countless potholes. Just outside the church’s side door, gleaming in the mix of soft moonlight and piercing headlamps, sat the Villa’s new Buick. In the moist warmth of the waning Houston evening the car looked cool and slick, and I wondered how it would feel to sit on its smooth leather seats, the engine purring, the wind in my face…

“¡Pancho!” My mother’s sharp voice pierced my dream. “¡Ven, ya nos vamos!” (Come, we’re leaving).

My dad was already out in the parking lot heading hurriedly in the direction of our little black Dodge, and my mom, standing by the side door and looking impatient, kept pawing the air with her left hand, motioning me to get up and get.

Settling in next to my brother into the sticky and stained felt covering the back seat I asked, “So, what did you all talk about? And, where did you go? I kept looking for you but I couldn’t find you.”

“¡Nada!” My mother curtly announced.

“Mom!” You were gone for a long time. What were you talking about?”

“Bob, tell your son to mind his own business!”

My father, sucking hard on an unfiltered Camel, and creating a dull yellow glow that framed his head in the dark car, just kept looking straight ahead and said nothing.

“Bob!” My mother implored.

I caught my father’s eyes in the rear view mirror.

“Dad, what was going on?”

Finally, “Did you hear your mother? Now shut-up and sit back!”

Ricky piped up: “They just talked about God.”

“¡Callate!” My mother yelled at Ricky. “¿Que sabes tu?” (What do you know?)

“I know you talked to the man and the lady about God. And I know Dad said, ‘bullshit’”.

My mother spun around in her seat. “Alright you! Your father said to shut up!! And that means you too Ricardo!!   SHUT UP!”

With that my brother sunk down into the seat, brought his legs up off the floor, and buried his head between his knees. I turned my head and pretended to be interested in the passing scenery that I could barely see through the little triangular window in the coupé.

“Besides,” My mother added, belatedly. “I saw you talking to that red-haired Villa girl. I think you like her. Don’t you?”

There was a sharp pang in my gut and a lump in my throat suddenly made it hard to talk. “No.” I softly mumbled.

“What? I can’t hear you.”

“He said he didn’t like her.” My brother volunteered, in a whiny mocking voice.

Annoyed, I turned and whacked him on the leg; and, of course, he retaliated by taking a swing at my head.

“STOP IT!!” My mother yelled, as she turned to kneel in her seat, facing us with her left up and her fist cocked. “Stop it!”

I turned away from them both and wondered why the lump in my throat had grown so big.

Scrunched tightly against between the back seat and the side of the car I could feel her hot eyes darting from me to my brother and back, and sensed her intense anger. “You wait until we get home! Then we’ll see who’s who and what’s what!” She said through clenched teeth. I never did understand what that really meant, but it was one of my mother’s favorite lines and it usually brought all sorts of mayhem to an immediate screeching halt. (Until we got home).

Chain smoking by lighting each new cigarette with the stub of the one already in his mouth, my father remained thoughtfully silent all the way home.

Careful What You Wish For

The seemingly minor incidents occurring in that church on that warm summer night would set into motion events that would forever change our family in so many ways. And, only after many years did I come to the realization that on that particular Friday evening something extraordinary had happened. For the first time, and for as long as I could remember, my father had come home from work, had dinner with, and had spent the rest of the evening in the company of his family. And on the following Saturday morning he had awakened in his our home and in his own bed, sober.

After getting up late that morning, and after taking my usual leisurely bath, I was surprised to see my dad sitting at the kitchen table dressed in an undershirt (wife beater) and khaki pants, drinking a cup of black coffee and reading the newspaper. Since we obviously didn’t have a subscription I assumed he’d gone somewhere to pick up a copy; probably King’s Super Market.

On a small platter in the center of the table were a few fresh Mexican pastries; and the sight of that in itself was enough to make me giddy.

“Hey boy.” He said, not looking up from the paper.

“Hi dad.”

“Go put some clothes on and come join me. I got some pan de huevo and a couple of empanadas here with your name on ‘em.”

“Really?” I exclaimed, suddenly needing to pee.

“Sure boy!” He said looking up while taking a long drag on his Camel. Tipping his head back he blew a couple of perfectly round smoke rings. He watched them hit the ceiling and evaporate. “How you like your coffee?”

“Huh? Oh…I don’t know. I don’t drink coffee. It’s too bitter.”

“Well, us De Leóns like our coffee like we like our women: hot and black!” He winked at me, threw his head back and broke into a deep belly laugh that quickly morphed into a phlegmy racking cough. “Shit boy, that’s funny. (cough, cough) Don’t you think?” He said, digging out a raggedy handkerchief and loudly blowing his nose.

“Oh, yeah…black…I get it…sure.” I stammered.

“OK, ándale, go get out of that towel, boy. We got man business to take care of today!”

I went into the next room to search the chester-drawers for some underwear and a pair of jeans, but my mother already had some clothes laying out of her bed.

“Mom? What’s dad doing here?” I whispered, squatting down beside the bed to drop my towel and jump into my boxers.

“Never mind that! Hurry up and get dressed. He wants to do something with you today.

“What?” I asked, pulling my thin t-shirt over my head. “Is Ricky going too?”

“No!” Through clenched teeth. “Pronto, he’s in a good mood.”

“OK. He wants me to drink coffee.”

“Bueno, I’ll make some more.” She said, as she headed to the kitchen.

“NO! I don’t like coffee. Can I have milk?”

“Shh! Look, if he wants you to drink coffee, you’ll drink coffee.” She hissed right next to my ear.

From the kitchen my father yelled, “Hey, what’s going on in there? Sounds like a bunch of damn snakes! Pancho! Get in here!”

“!Mira, vez! Now he’s mad. If he leaves it’ll be your fault. Now get in there now!”

“Fine!” I said.

Sauntering back into the kitchen I pulled up a chair while my mother started rattling some pans and running some water.

“So,” my dad said. “You don’t like coffee, huh?”

“No, I’d rather have milk with my empanada.”

Getting up from the table, he said, “OK, tell you what. You gotta learn to be a man sometime.” He opened the ice box.   “So if you want to drink milk then it’ll have to be buttermilk.”

He took out a quart of unopened buttermilk and pulled an old jelly glass out of the cabinet over the sink.

“Uh, no dad! I’ll have the coffee. If you make me drink buttermilk I’ll vomit.”

“OK, suit yourself.” He poured the white thick liquid into the glass. “I think I’ll have a glass then.” He sat back down and licked his lips. “Um, that looks good.”

Just looking at the putrid smelling liquid with clumps of God knows what, made me nauseous.

While I was eating my empanada and trying to sip the boiled black coffee (mom didn’t brew, she boiled the grounds, then poured the whole thing into a cup) between my teeth to filter the grounds out, my dad folded the paper, gulped the last of his buttermilk, and pushed away from the table.

“Time to get to work!” He announced.

“Work?” My mom asked while rinsing out the cups and glasses. “I thought you were staying home.”

“I am! Gonna do a little work on the car. It’s been making some funny noises so I’m gonna try to find out what the problem is.”

Well, that was bad news. As great a mechanic as my father was, whenever he tinkered with our own car it would always turn out badly. Other peoples’ cars would run like new after he worked on them, but our car would normally not run at all after one of his repair sessions. Eventually he’d get it back running again only to tell us that while trying to fix what he thought was wrong in the first place, he’d found a bunch of other things wrong and had to fix them. At the end of the day our car would still be suffering from its “original problem”; but at least it was running. So off he went that morning, whistling a jaunty tune.

The next day I was awakened early by my mother. “Get up, your dad needs to get to the stove.”

“What? Dad? Why?” Since I slept in the kitchen next to the stove I’d have to put up my roll away bed before anyone could get to the stove.

“¡Sí, pronto!”

I wondered just what the heck was going on as I started to fold up my bed. “What’s going on? What time is it?”

“When you finish with the bed, go get into the tub and take a quick bath. Your dad’s going to cook breakfast, then after we eat we’re going to shursh.”

“What? Is there hot water? Church?”

“No! You have to take a bath with cold water. It’s summer anyway and it’s hot. So don’t be a sissy. Get in there!!”

“What’s dad going to cook? We don’t have anything to eat but Post Toasties.”

“OK, Pancho! He got up early and already went to the store and bought eggs y queso. And we already have frijoles y tortillas. So, go!!”

Climbing into the cold porcelain tub I kept wondering if I was still dreaming. Eggs? Cheese? Dad cooking? The first pan full of cold tap water over my head assured me that I was indeed wide-awake.

Until that day I had no idea my dad could cook. Turned out he was pretty good. While I was getting my clothes on he yelled from the kitchen if I liked my eggs “sunny side up”. I had no idea, but said, “Sure!” I don’t think I’d ever even had eggs for breakfast. At least I couldn’t remember if I had or not.

“OK.” My dad yelled back. “Hurry, you don’t let sunny sides get cold.”

I hurried—mostly because the house suddenly smelled glorious and my stomach was growling mightily. Was that bacon I smelled? I cruised into the kitchen where my mother was just setting down a small pan of refried beans and a small stack of warmed over tortillas.

“Siéntate.” She said. (Sit down.) “Hay vienen los huevos.” (Here come the eggs.)

That had to be the strangest Sunday ever; a complete breakfast with bacon, and a full glass of milk. Sitting at the table with my mother, father and brother made me feel almost claustrophobic; as the table was so small we were literally bumping elbows.

As I started to hungrily devour my eggs, sunny side up, I saw that my dad didn’t have any eggs on his plate at all. There were frijoles, a couple of strips of bacon, and one of mom’s saucer-sized thick tortillas. Instead of coffee there was a big glass (I’d seen it sitting all alone at the back of the cabinet, but had never seen it used) filled to the brim with what I assumed was buttermilk. That was my father’s usual beverage of choice when beating down one of his massive hangovers. But as I looked closer at the glass I noted the liquid’s slightly yellow tinge and the small head of tannish colored foam at the top. That was not buttermilk.

“Hey dad.” I managed to ask while chewing juicily on a succulent slice of bacon. “What’cha drinking?”

Before answering me he picked up the glass and took three mighty gulps—bringing the level down to mid-glass.

“Ponche.” He said, smacking his lips.

Now, “ponche” is the Spanish word for “punch” in English. So I was a little confused.

“Huh? Ponche? What kind of ponche?”

“The kind that real men drink for breakfast. My parents used to make this for us when we were kids. Wanna try it?”

“Sure.” I said reaching across the table to take the large glass from his hand.

Putting the glass up to my lips I sensed a faint aroma of cinnamon. I took a slug.

“What do you think?” My dad asked, with a little twinkle in his eye.

It tasted like sweetened milk and cinnamon, but had a thick, rather slimy, consistency.

Swallowing, I said, “Um, it’s not bad. But it’s a little slimy. What’s in it?”

My mother snorted as a suppressed giggle escaped her throat.

Taking his glass back, he said, “Oh, that would be the raw eggs you’re tasting.”

“RAW EGGS?? THERE ARE RAW EGGS IN THAT?”

Not being able to restrain herself any further, my mom cackled out loud and slapped me on the back of the head.

“¡Ay, Pancho tonto!” She managed to say between peals of laughter. “Your dad really put one over on you.”

My brother, never missing an opportunity to add to my misery, said, “Yeah, tonto!”

“Dad,” I managed to say, feeling the swallow of ponche trying to find its way back out. “You’re kidding, right? There’s no eggs in there, are there?”

Taking the glass and putting it back up to his lips he drained the remaining ponche, licked his lips, and slapped his belly. “Ah, that’s good! Sure mijo, six raw eggs. That’s how I had my eggs this morning; in the ponche.”

I thought I was going to vomit.

“If I hadn’t told you there were raw eggs in there would you’ve known? Did you taste them?” He asked.

Taking my mind off my feelings of nausea, I reevaluated. “Well, no…”

“Well, there it is! Mind over matter. Now finish your breakfast, we have to leave soon.”

He went back to scooping the refried beans with his tortilla and humming a catchy little tune. My mother gleamed at me, wiggling her eyebrows while covering her mouth with her paper napkin—surely hiding a silly grin—and my brother resumed eating while repeating “tonto, tonto, tonto” between mouthfuls. Suddenly I felt just fine.

***

The Sunday service was not much different from those I’d attended with Robert and his family, except now I was with my family. During the service Reverend Villa pointed us out to the congregation and asked everyone to welcome us to the House of God. We were asked to stand and a special prayer was said, led by the reverend himself. He thanked God for bringing us to his humble fold and asked that He make His presence known to us. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but my mother nodded her head with her eyes closed and said, “Sí, Señor.”

My dad was uncommonly attentive during the service and I noticed that his pack of Camels was not in its usual place in his shirt pocket. After the segregated Sunday school classes reconvened in the main auditorium I saw that my dad had been given a pamphlet which he was reading with great interest.

After the Sunday service was over, the reverend and his wife made a bee line to where we were sitting and cordially invited us to join them, and some of the more important church officials, to lunch. To my surprise my parents accepted their invitation and after leaving the church parking lot we followed the Villas—them, in the gleaming new Buick, and us, put-putting along in our wheezy little black Dodge—to a Mexican restaurant a few miles from the church.

After the meal, which I was unable to finish due to still being full from breakfast, the group began to debate various religious scenarios involving the Apostles. I was surprised to see my dad take an active part in the discussions; he sure knew more about the bible than I had ever imagined.

My mother made small chit-chat with Mrs. Villa, and occasionally looked at me while pointing into random space saying, “Mira”.

Although Joni didn’t come along for lunch, I still wondered why she suddenly acted as if she’d never seen me before. Earlier, during the Sunday service our eyes had met once—and she just looked right through me expressionless before turning away. Although I’d never heard the phrase before, I subconsciously acknowledged that “she was way out of my league.” Even being friends was probably out of the question. Time to move on I guess.

On the way home in the car, after leaving the restaurant, my father announced that we only had a few hours before we’d have to leave to go back to church to attend the Sunday evening service.

“Dad?” I said, tentatively. “I have a lot of homework that I still have to finish before tomorrow. Can I stay home?”

Pulling the rear view mirror down to focus on me, he said sternly, “No, you can do that after we get back home tonight.”

“Dad! I’ll be up all night. We won’t get back until after ten. I can’t do that!”

In the mirror his eyes narrowed, and using a tone I’d not ever heard before, he growled, “Pancho. This discussion is over. Now shut up!”

More shocked than hurt; I turned away and concentrated on looking out the side window.

Ricky whispered, “Tonto, tonto, tonto.”

My mother pointed out her window and said, “Mira.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From Sinners To Saints – Part I

 

From Sinners To Saints

Part I

The Wooing Begins

It was probably a couple of weeks after the outreach group from the little church had shown up at our house to begin active recruitment of my mother and father.  After that first visit they began showing up quite regularly as the hot summer went on and on in Houston.  Uninvited, they would vary the times of their visits (but always on Saturdays) to try to catch both of my parents at home at the same time.  By now my father had figured out that he was on the church’s “must see and save” list, and so he reverted to his old but successful tactics, gingerly sprinting out the back door just as they were arriving in their little station wagon.  A couple of times, while napping off a bruising hangover, he came precariously close to being caught at home as they were walking through the front yard.  But alerted by an uncanny sixth sense, his head would suddenly jerk up, as if pulled by an invisible puppeteer, and he’d be out the door, cursing as he struggled to pull his pants up and trying not to fall off the back porch.

When my mother had told him about the group’s first visit he had gone absolutely berserk, wanting to know what they wanted and threatening to “cuss them out” if they decided to visit whenever he was home.  Her response was notable for its lack of passion and conviction.

“Do whatever you feel like doing, Bob,” my mother said as she turned and walked away.

You know, whenever he made his pants-tugging and shirttail-flying escapes out the back door, I was never really sure where he went exactly, but I assumed he ended up going over to my Aunt Janie’s—two houses away.  My aunt, and her then-husband Buster, were Catholics and thought the Pentecostals were weird anyway.  They would’ve been my choice for sanctuary if I was on the run from the “holy-rollers”, but alas, if I happened to be trapped in the house when they came visiting I would have to sit there and endure the histrionics quietly.

Forced to sit through these sessions I would let my mind fly away into “Jerryland”, and would try to keep it there as long as possible until rudely yanked back by the sharp pain of my mother’s not so subtle pinch and a dark stare that said: “Listen!”   I guess it wouldn’t have been so bad but at that age my attention span was pretty short, and my interests did not include spending time with old (everyone older than me was really old to me at that age) Mexican people who dressed strangely and smelled kind of dusty.  The worst part of the visits that I was made to sit through was the mind-numbing repetitiveness.  Everyone was identical, and all the dialogue was almost as if it had been scripted.  It was as if they believed that if something was repeated often enough it would surely come true.

“Señora DeLeón,” they would say, “if you let Jesus come into your life, and you accept Him as your personal savior, all your troubles will disappear.  He will take your sins and wash them away.  Your life will be new.  Your husband will soon follow and you both will be happy, but you have to have faith and take the first step.”

The group would tag team my mother—each taking their turn testifying to their own previously wretched life and eventual salvation.  They would quote verses from the Bible or open their dog-eared copies to read from a yellowed onionskin page.

Finally after an hour or so, one of them would suggest that they needed to pray over this matter, then they would all stand and gather into a circle for a group prayer.   My mother, probably not knowing what else to do, would timidly rise—usually assisted by one of the women—and meekly lower her head.

The prayer would center on the theme for that particular visit and was usually led by one of the men.   He would start by addressing the Holy Being by one of several titles.  Sometimes “Señor” or “Cristo”, and other times “Santo Dios”, he would start low and slow and accelerate into high drama with volume to match.  Yes, the Pentecostals believed in loud and dramatic prayers.  Not just bowing their heads or closing their eyes, or intertwining of the fingers for these folks—no sir!  When they prayed they made sure God, or whoever, heard them—literally…and for added measure also anyone within two city blocks of our house.

“Let’s call on the Lord to guide us in His holy word,” he would usually say up front.

Then, just for a second or two while everyone closed their eyes and bowed, there would be quiet.  Slowly, he would begin to lift his arms.  Then he would start to tilt his head upwards until he looked like someone who was being robbed at gunpoint by a guy glued to the ceiling.

“¡Señor!”, he would begin quietly.  Then he would go into a few lines thanking the “Señor” for a multitude of things like life, health, breath, well-being, the house he was in, the people he was visiting, the temperature—and so forth, and so forth.  Taking on a deeper baritone the volume of his voice would begin to increase.  By now the rest of the group would start to voice their agreement by whipping out a “Sí, señor”, or “alleluia”, or maybe a “Gracias Padre” or two.

Next he moved on from the “thank you” phase right into the “bless them” phase.  Really getting into the spirit of it now, his neck and forehead would began sporting some pretty impressive arteries, and sweat would start beading and streaming.  Booming now, he was making damn sure that if God was busy elsewhere, maybe saving some little kids from sure death at the hands of monsters and villains, well, He would have to just drop everything and listen.

Leaving the “bless them” phase he moved smoothly into the “save the sinners” phase.  This was my favorite.  See, to the Pentecostals everyone on earth is a mortal sinner.  Infants, old people, blacks, Jews and Catholics (especially Catholics); and they were all destined to spend eternity in the fiery inferno that God had created just for them.  It didn’t matter what anyone did while living their lives out on earth, if they didn’t follow what the Pentecostals considered the right path—that is, go to Pentecostal church and have their souls washed in the blood of Jesus—they would experience the afterlife in a perpetual and eternal state of fiery agony.

Then it would get personal.  At a near fever pitch now, and bolstered by the growing chorus of affirmations from the rest of the group my family quickly became the main subject of his loud and fanatical supplications.  Sinners wandering in darkness and evil, the DeLeóns were in dire need of salvation and redemption.  Then the crying would start.

One of the many things that remain forever fixed in my memory on the peculiarities of this particular religion was the propensity of its members to launch into a frenzy of hysterical crying and wailing during their time of prayer.  I’ve seen them launch into a tear-spurting, saliva- spewing, teeth-gnashing rant while saying grace over a meal, for God’s sake.  So, taking on something as serious as trying to convince God to save the rotting, putrid, sinning souls of a pair of back-sliding ingrates, along with their skinny son, would fire up the water works but good.  And to them, this was extremely serious business.

By now the whole group would have their hands up, waving and shaking, crying and begging God and Jesus, and the Holy Ghost for good measure, to have mercy on these people and make them see “the way”.  Having formed a semi-circle, with me and my mother roughly in the middle, they’d slowly begin to close in around us.  All of them with eyes closed, arms lifted and heads high, yelling and crying, tears and spittle flying, encircling us not unlike a pride of lions encircling their prey.

During this stage of their visit, and when not peeking quickly to observe the antics playing out before me, I would usually keep my head down and stare at the floor.   A couple of times I would dare to steal a quick glance at my mom to see what she was doing.  My eyes meeting hers, she would glare, wrinkle her brow and purse her lips.  This was mom-speak for, “STOP IT”; and I would pop my head back down and wait for the show to end.

Finally, after having endured a few of their visits an extraordinary and telling event forever changed everything for me.  This particular visit had been no different than the rest of them, right up to the wailing and crying.  I, my head down as usual, raised my eyes fully expecting my mom’s usual pinched frown.  But what I saw shocked me.  My mother had her left arm timidly raised, palm up, and her head…bowed.  On her face she wore a pained sorrowful expression that I had never seen, but that I would sadly get to know, ever so well, from that moment on.

On that never-to-be-forgotten day, and unbeknownst to anyone, my mother began her slow and torturous mutation from the crazy, mood shifting, vibrant, fun loving and wildly affectionate woman that I had fearfully adored, into the unhappy, dejected, empty, bitterly heart-broken shell—who, after slipping into a six month coma, finally breathed her last breath of life—sad, bloated and alone on a sunny November morning in 1971.

Her remaining son, too far away and too busy with his own life, and her husband now long into the habit of living with another woman and not coming home except to wash his clothes, along with the Pentecostal Church, who having cruelly abandoned her soul in its time of greatest need, looked over its shoulder, shrugged its indifference and marched away.  Her heart, tortured and broken for so many years, quietly stopped.

 Bob’s Resolve Dissolves 

My grandparents on my father’s side finally stopped producing children after having had five boys and one girl between the years 1908 and 1915; Roberto being the youngest of the five boys, and the girl, appropriately named Dolores (translated as “pain, grief or sorrow”).  The elder boys had been given stately or saintly names: Louis, Joseph, George and Francis, but their parents seemed to be caught by surprise and appeared totally flummoxed when my father was born.  In a fit of overkill they named him, Roberto Alberto Francisco.

It is my belief that when the first four boys were born, my grandparents, still influenced by the traditions from which they had recently left, chose names for their children that were popular during that time in Europe.  But by the time Roberto and his sister, Dolores, were born, the family, living in poverty-stricken neighborhoods and surrounded by dirt poor Mexicans, a few displaced Jewish families, and not-so-far-removed from slavery blacks, had finally assimilated completely into a lower-class economic life.  Most of their friends and acquaintances living in the neighborhood spoke Spanish, and any English that was spoken was done so in a heavily accented Jewish-Hebrew brogue commonly used by working class Jews.  The De León children, who preferred to communicate with their friends and each other in Spanish or the brogue, had mostly abandoned French—now only spoken at home regularly by their parents.  As they sank deeper into this poverty-stricken, classless society, and perhaps looking for a bit more societal acceptance, the spelling of their family name slowly mutated from the French, “de Léon”, to the Spanish/Mexican, “De León”.

Struggling to survive in a city that itself was striving to establish its own identity—given its lack of navigable roads, humid climate, and its abundance of marshy wetlands and mosquito-infested bayous—the young and over-burdened family toiled courageously everyday to earn just enough to feed and house themselves.  Having been relatively financially comfortable in Europe, they found that not being able to speak English fluently, and probably most importantly, not possessing a marketable skill, restricted their earning potential gravely.  The mother, homebound with the children, took in washing and sewing occasionally; and only when able to buy enough ingredients, baked bread and pastries for the children to sell at a nearby market on weekends.  The father, now reduced to handy-man status, left each day and traveled to the more affluent Houston neighborhoods, tools in hand, to knock on doors and ask if there was any repair work that needed to be done.

As soon as the De León children were able, they would be sent out to do odd jobs around the neighborhood for a few pennies a day.  School was an afterthought, but by the time that Roberto was five the family was stable enough for him to be enrolled in the neighborhood elementary.  He would continue his education through the seventh grade when the lure of the streets and the dream of easy money would put him firmly on a path filled with booze, cigarettes, bloody fists and loose women.  His extremely high intelligence and his ability to learn quickly turned his penchant for fast and flashy automobiles into an extremely marketable skill: repairing, painting and delicately detailing show cars for the Houston affluent.  Dolores, the least encumbered of all the children, went on to earn her high school diploma—and many years later, after having met and married a successful railroad company executive, retired from a long and fruitful career as an accountant for Sears and Roebuck.

When Roberto (now commonly referred to as “Bob”) and his new bride Evelyn set foot in the little Pentecostal church in Houston during the pre-war years, he was smoking two to three packs of unfiltered Camel cigarettes a day, and was known to consume the better part of a fifth of hard whiskey in one sitting.  He was quick with his fists and did not shy away from using the .38 caliber handgun or the .22 caliber lever-action carbine he religiously carried under his car seat whenever someone stoked his volatile temper.  Always a snappy dresser, he favored dark felt fedoras and blood red ties when he was out on the town, and sharply creased khaki shirts and pants when working as a specialty auto painter.

Probably initially attracted to the church by raw curiosity, and maybe sensing the opportunity to impress the mostly lower-class Mexican congregation with his quick wit and good looks, he nonetheless quickly became bored when he discovered that all they really cared about was saving his soul and eventually making him a tithing member.  In that he saw no advantage.  He was fine with his soul the way it was, and he sure wasn’t about to let go of his hard-earned money to some brown-skinned Mexicans to use in the name of God.

But I truly believe that as short as his exposure was to that church, and the Pentecostal religion, somehow a small seed must’ve been planted deep inside his soul.  And now—probably after all the disappointments and failures in his life, the unmanageable medical debts, and the unexpected birth of my brother—now he was just tired; and that fatigue coupled with realization that his life had gone nowhere now provided the fertile ground the seed needed to come to life.  Maybe.

Then…on a punishingly hot and humid late summer evening in 1953, it finally happened.

***

Coming home from school that Friday afternoon and walking into the stifling little frame home, I was surprised to see that my mother was not wearing her normal plain thin cotton dress, but instead had donned a dark blue skirt topped with a white silky-looking blouse with puffy short sleeves, whose collar was gaily decorated with little red flowers on intertwined green stems.  Her jet black hair, freshly washed and pinned up into a tight shiny bun, gave off a sweetly scented fragrance as she scurried about hurriedly putting the finishing touches on a rich saliva-inducing meat and potato stew gently bubbling on the gas stove.  And, she had on makeup.

Seeing me, she stopped in mid-step and curtly told me to hurry up and get ready to take a bath.

“Really?” I asked, a bit confused.  “A bath? Why?”

“Because you need to be out, dressed and ready to eat when your father comes home.”

“Mom, he doesn’t get home for another two hours and it’s only 3:30!  Anyway, why do I have to take a bath and get ready before he comes home?  What’s going on?”

“Well, as soon as he gets home he’s going to take a bath, we’re gonna eat, then we gotta leave.”

“Leave?  And go where?”

“Church!”  (Of course she pronounced it chursh)

“What church?  We never go to church!”  Thinking that we may be going somewhere really fun (which we never did anyway, but still hoping), I persisted, “OK mom, where are we really going?”

“CHURSH!!  Now get into the tub.”

Going to church?  Huh?  Not wanting to irritate her anymore, I put my books down and started for the bathroom.  But why in the world would we be going to church on a weekday, plus at night, and most puzzling—why was my father going?  He never went to church!  Heck!  WE never went to church!  I wondered if Robert or his grandparents had something to do with this.  After all, besides the disastrous visit my mom and I had made to the Catholic Church, Robert had been the only other person I had ever gone to church with.

Easing my worn brown oxfords off my feet and stepping out of my still stiff denim jeans I turned the squeaky faucet on the yellowing tub.

Wait!

“Hey, Mom!” I yelled.  “I can’t take a bath.  There’s no hot water in the tub.”

“Cállate!”  She yelled through the closed door.  “Open the door, I got it here on the stove.”

“Is it hot water?”

“Ay, que estúpido.  Of course it’s hot water.  I put it on right after I finished my bath.  Open the door!”

“Wait, I’m in my shorts.”

“So?  ¡Abre la puerta pronto!” (Open the door, quick!)

“OK!”  I opened the door hiding my lower body behind it while she shuffled in with a large steaming pot of water.

After my bath I came out wrapped in my towel.  “Mom, what am I supposed to be wearing?”

Looking over her left shoulder as she stood over the little gas stove nursing yet another large pot of water next to the simmering stew she said, “Mira, I already ironed your nice pants and got the white shirt ready too.  When your father gets home he’ll help you with the tie.”

Still not really believing that we were going to church I asked, “So, what church are we going to?  It’s not that Catholic one, is it?”

“¡No, tonto!”  She was getting a little testy.  “The chursh that you went to with Robert, and the one where those brothers and sisters have been visiting from.  You know, that one.”

I was stunned!  For the past couple of months whenever the scruffy little group had visited, my father had bailed and scurried out the back door not to return until the group was long gone.  I was the one that had been made to stay and endure the seemingly endless prayers, Bible quoting, and their tortured bawling.  How and when did this happen?

“Mom,” I asked as I dressed by the chester drawers, “are you sure that dad is going too?”

“OK, Pancho!  Like I told you when you came home.  We are all going to chursh tonight.  Your dad and I talked about it last night and he said he wouldn’t mind going.  So, hurry up.  He’ll be home any minute!”

Inspecting my worn-out brown shoes and wondering how they were going to look with black pants, I said, “I didn’t hear anything last night.”

“¡Ay, yai yai!  ¡Ya no te voy a decir otra vez!  (I’m not telling you again!) Get ready!  I don’t have time to explain everything to you.  I still have to get your brother ready!  ¡Ándale!”

It would be many years before my mother talked to me about their conversation that fateful night—and when she did it was almost anti-climatic.  She told me that as she was drifting off to sleep my father had gently touched her arm and softly asked, “Vieja, ¿crees que si regresamos a la iglesia Dios nos pudiera ayudar con estas cuentas?  Ya no se que hacer.”  (“Old lady*, do you think that if we return to the church God would help us with these bills?  I just don’t know what else to do anymore.”)  When I heard that, my first thought was that if he’d stopped spending all his money on his drinking sprees he’d made quite a dent in the bills.  I guess he needed help doing that too.

***

We were instant celebrities.  No sooner had we pulled our old 1936 Dodge coupe into the dusty little parking lot and screeched to a shuttering stop, when a clutch of church members, who’d been milling about chatting, practically ran and surrounded us as we stepped out.  I instantly recognized them as some of the ones who had paid many tearful visits to our house.

“¡Bienvenidos hermanos!  ¡Ay, que bendición!”  (Welcome brothers!  Oh, what a blessing!).  This from sister Sánchez, who had rumbled up to the driver’s side of our car pushing and shoving lesser sized brothers and sisters out of her way.  “¡Y Frankie también!”  (And Frankie too!).  With that, she grabbed me by the neck as I was closing the back door, pulled me towards her, and put me into a smothering bear hug—shoving my face unceremoniously between her more than ample breasts and really messing up my carefully coiffed, Crown Royal-ed up, pompadour.

As I inhaled lilac intermingled with baby powder, and afraid to open my eyes, she continued breathlessly, “¡Miren hermanos, estos son los hermanos De León: Avelina, Roberto, y aquí,” pulling my head out and turning it towards the now enthralled group, “…está Frankie!”

Not really knowing what to say, but grateful to have been given the opportunity to breathe the gloriously smoggy Houston air again, I said, “Hey!”  The group grinned and one of the men tipped his slightly lopsided hat.

My father, stepping out of the car while casually repositioning his black fedora and making sure the front brim was stylishly raked over his left eyebrow, gave the group a quick once over and firmly shook the extended hand of the closest brother: a short squatty man who could’ve passed for sister Sánchez’s twin.  “Evening,” he coolly said, “thanks.”  Looking over to where my mother was now walking around the front of the car he tilted his head toward her and said, “and this is Evelyn, my wife.”

“¡Ah, sí.  Hermana Avelina,” sister Sánchez squealed, “¡Qué bueno que pudo venir!”  (Sister Evelyn, how nice that you were able to come).  Releasing me, she bounced over to my mother and proceeded to put her into a bear hug.

The brother who was still pumping my dad’s hand said, “Oh, you no speak el espanich?”

My dad gave the brother a smirk (the kind that Elvis would later popularize) and said, “Of course.  Why?”

Stuttering, the brother mumbled, “Oh, no, quiero decir…bueno, que bueno.”  (Oh, I mean…good, really good).  “Yo soy el hermano Rodrígues…Seferino Rodrígues.”

“Roberto De León,” my father announced,  “pero usted me puede llamar Bob.”  (…but you can call me Bob.)

With that, sister Sánchez released my mother, brother Rodrígues dropped my dad’s hand, and the group closed in around them both peppering them with questions and compliments.  I was left alone, standing in a small pothole anxiously trying to reform my now totally destroyed pompadour.

Instead of entering the church through the main front doors the group escorted us through a small side door—the one that I had seen Pastor Villa use when he had exited the church one Sunday morning and gotten into his new Buick.  That door provided access to front of the auditorium and the large area between the first pew and the altar/stage.  Turning left at the center aisle we were shepherded to the second pew on the right side of the auditorium and directed to sit directly behind the special pew where Rev. Villa and his wife usually sat.  Apparently, this pew was just a notch below “royal”, and was reserved for dignitaries and special guests.  The people who had already entered the church and were scattered about in little knots cheerfully chitchatting suddenly grew eerily silent as we were seated.  The little group escorting us dispersed in all directions after having given each of us paper fans (the ones with Jesus bleeding on one side and “Crespo Funeral Home—where your loved ones would go, if they could…” on the other) to whip up the hot air around us.

Since this was a Friday night, the service was designated as “El Servicio de los Hermanos”  (male brotherhood service), and was ranked as the second most important service of the week—right after the Sunday night service.  We had picked a good one.

A few members, both male and female, came over to greet us and welcome us to the service.  Mostly, they seemed to be sizing us up.  Since I’d been there before my greetings were limited to a welcome back and most of the more probing questions and comments were reserved for my parents.  My father, having removed his hat and placed it on the pew next to him, sat quietly; his arms crossed over his chest unintentionally and slowly pushing up the open pack of Camels that he’d placed in his breast pocket when we left home and had forgotten to leave in the car.  The camel’s head was peeking out discreetly when my mother noticed and hastily whispered something into his ear.  Again, flashing the Elvis smirk, he casually uncrossed his arms, letting the pack slide back down into his breast pocket and out of sight.  Then, he coolly crossed his legs and quietly cleared his throat.

My mother was as nervous as my dad was cool.  After the last of the church members had paid us a welcoming visit, and the congregation had settled down to await the start of the service, my mother suddenly became a bundle of nerves.  Fanning herself furiously, crossing and recrossing her legs, primping her hair, and making soft sucking sounds as her tongue searched for that last fibrous strand of stew meat jammed stubbornly between two back molars, she was a blur of motion and sound.  Finally, my dad leaned his head next to hers and said, “Stop that!”

Stopping all movement suddenly she turned and gave him her patented death stare.

“Oh you!”  It was as all she could come up with but she delivered it with a sharply hissing breathy whisper.  I hoped to high heaven that a full-fledged argument wouldn’t break out now, because if it did then the brothers and sisters would have quite a show to watch and a whole new foreign tongue to experience.  Besides, at the moment I was pretty much entertained eyeballing Joni on the piano and secretly enjoying those pleasant little throbs of hot energy deep inside my groin that not too long ago had started waking me up late at night.   (To be continued….)

 

*My parents regularly called each other “vieja” (F) and “viejo” (M).  Loosely translated they mean “old lady” and “old man”, and are usually used as terms of endearment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First Contact

First Contact

Feel Me, Touch Me

I

It was a little after one in the afternoon when we turned the corner and pulled into Robert’s driveway. By then the temperature must’ve been well over ninety degrees, although I never had any way of really knowing since we didn’t have a thermometer, or a television for weather news; and our Philco console radio didn’t come on until well after the dinner hour. But it just felt hot and steamy.

Looking over my shoulder and out through the small back window of the car I saw that my dad’s car was gone and our front door was open.

“Would you like to come in and have some lunch with us?” Robert’s grandmother asked as her husband stopped the car and got out to open their driveway gate. “We have plenty, you know.”

“No thank you. I’m sure my mother has lunch waiting for me.” I smoothly lied.

Robert knew better. “Don’t lie, ese. You never eat! That’s why you’re so skinny.” Punching my bony shoulder with his skinned up knuckles, “Frankie The Bear!”

Getting out of the car as fast as I could I retorted, “No, I’m just a picky eater! My mother gives me plenty to eat; and besides I don’t want to be fat when I grow up.”

“Don’t worry about that, vato. You’re never going to grow up anyway. You’re going to blow away and no one will be able to find you.” Robert teased, as his grandfather closed the car door and put the little coupe in gear.

“Ha! Ha!” Were the only two words I could think of to say.

“Bueno Frankie,” his grandfather said as he got back into the front seat. “Ask your parents if you can come with us to the evening service tonight. If they say you can, just come over here about six, or so. The service starts at seven.” With that, he engaged the clutch and the coupe crunched up their shell driveway toward the small one car garage.

“OK, I’ll ask.” I said, waving and hurrying across the street.

I bounded up the stairs and pulled open the slightly unhinged screen door.

“Mom!” I yelled as I pulled my shirt up out of my pants with one hand while yanking on the red tie with the other. “Mom, ¿dónde estás?” (Where are you?)

The house was a little cooler due to our always having all the windows open, letting what breeze there was outside sift through the mesh screens and sink quickly pushing the moist heat up to the ceiling.

From the kitchen I heard a very soft, “¿Eh? Aquí estoy, mijo.” Her voice sounded strangely forced.

She was sitting at our small dining table on the right side of the kitchen, in the chair closest to the window. Angled away from the table she was wistfully looking out the window onto our little side yard. Legs crossed widely, her right elbow resting on one knee her chin resting in the palm of her hand. On the table her left hand worried a small balled up handkerchief.

Keeping her face away from me she said, “¿Quieres some agua? No tengo nada de comer, pero si tienes hambre puedes ir a ‘ca Henry’s a comprar baloney en crédito.” (I don’t have anything to eat, but if you’re hungry you can go to Henry’s to buy some bologna on credit.) With that, and still keeping her face away from me, her shoulders shuddered slightly.

“No mamá, no tengo mucho hambre. Todavía hay un poco de cereal en la caja. Hay bastante. Me lo cómo con un vaso de agua.” (No mom, I’m not very hungry. There’s still a bit of cereal in the box. There’s plenty. I can eat that with a glass of water.)

A loud wet sob escaped her dropping her head into her hands she quickly stifled it with the balled up handkerchief. “¡Ay, mijo! ¡Mi pobrecito mijo!” (Oh, my son! My poor son!) Unable to contain herself anymore she buried her face in both hands and cried bitterly; her body shaking the table and causing the saltshaker to tip over.

“That’s OK, mommy.” I said quietly, not knowing what else to say or do. I walked over to the sink and poured myself a glass of water. Grabbing the almost empty box of Post Toasties off the counter I walked out the back door to the small porch to sit down in the shade and eat my lunch.

I could still hear my mother crying sadly in the little kitchen as I slowly crunched the dry flakes and washed them down with the tepid water.

Later….

I must’ve fallen asleep on the porch because I next remember my mother wiping my face with a cool wet washcloth. I was hot.

“Ay mijo, te vas a quemar.” (You’re going to burn.) You fell asleep and now the sun’s in your face. Come on, let’s go inside.” She helped me up and I saw that the empty Post Toasties box and my glass of water were gone.

“Come, let’s get you out of these clothes.” She said while guiding me back into the kitchen.

“Mom, where’s dad?”

“Oh, you know. This morning after you left he said he was going to go around the corner and would be right back. But he’s still gone. I don’t know.” Those last words came out with a little shudder.

Whenever my dad said he was “going around the corner”, that was code for: “I’m going on a drunken bender and don’t know when I’ll be home.” Christ!! Even I knew that!

“OK,” I said, not knowing what else to add.  “Robert’s grandparents want me to go with them to church again tonight…for the evening service. Can I go?”

“Oh, you really want to go?” She asked. “Why?”

“Well, it was kinda fun. But a little weird too.”

“Weird? What do you mean weird, mijo?” She queried.

“Well,” I started, “the class we had to attend was a little boring, but the singing was great. What was weird though, was when the people all started praying really loud. Suddenly they started speaking in another language and some of the people started falling down on the floor. It was mostly the women that did that.”

“O sí,” she mused, “when your dad and I went there a long time ago I remember them doing that. Your dad didn’t like it and thought the people were being possessed by the devil.”

“Yeah”, I said excitedly, “there was a woman there—a Mrs. Sánchez—and she said she remembered you and dad. She even said she remembered me; but I was pretty little then.”

“Sí, I think I remember her.  Eras un bebito.” She explained. (You were a baby).

She seemed to be a bit more composed, but her eyes were still a bit swollen and she still had a very sad look on her face.

“Anyway,” I continued, “the lady at the church invited me for tonight’s service and Robert’s abuelos said they would take me. Can I go?”

“Bueno pués,” she said, “I don’t know what you could wear. I could wash your shirt but it wouldn’t be dry by the time you have to go. Can you wear another color shirt?”

“I don’t care. Maybe dad has something in his chester drawers.”

She broke into a little smile for the first time that afternoon. “No, mijo. Tu daddy’s shirts are all too big. Maybe I can find something. But now you should take a bath. I’ll heat some water. ‘¡Pronto!’ What time do you have to go to Robert’s?”

“Um,” I mumbled, “I think around six. What time is it now?”

“Son como las cuatro.” (It’s about four.) “Hurry so you can be on time.”

She walked out of the kitchen and I followed her into the next room to search the “chester drawers” for a shirt.

“¿Mamá, quieres ir conmigo?” I asked, tentatively.  (Mom, you want to go with me?)

“No mijo, your daddy might come home and he’ll wonder where I am.”

“Mom!” I said, a little angry, “you know dad won’t be home until maybe early tomorrow morning or late tonight. And he shouldn’t care if you’re home or not! He goes out all the time and he never tells you where he goes or when he’ll be home!”

“¡Ay, no…no puedo!” (Oh no, I can’t) She replied plaintively while glancing doe-like toward the front door. “I have to be here when he gets home. He’ll be really mad if he comes home early and I’m not home. Anyway, come on, we need to hurry so I can get you dressed for church.”

I wanted to say more but I knew she’d made up her mind. That night, and long after I’d returned from the evening service, she quietly sat on our little couch, as she would do for thousands of future nights, watching the evening fade into an empty darkness with only the faraway croaking of bull frogs and the sporadic barking of chained up dogs to keep her company. Staring for hours through the sagging window screen in that gloomy little unlit house, her heart jumping with false hope every time a set of headlights would turn onto our little shell street, she would finally succumb to slumber’s soft healing salve and drift off into her world of unfulfilled dreams. After having done that for so many years and in so many different houses that, first her mind, then her body, could take no more—finally breaking down and turning her into an old, forlorn, hollow woman.

II

Having dug up a clean shirt and re-pressing my trousers, my mother called out to me: “Pronto Frankie! It’s almost six and you have to go pretty soon.”

As I came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, my long straight black hair still dripping water down my bony back, I was instantly hit with the succulent aroma of fried bologna. Somewhere between my spine and my belly button a deep rumbling reverberated and my saliva glands woke up and began to flood my mouth.

“Mira mijo.” My mom proudly announced. “While you were taking your long bath I went to Henry’s Store and got us some baloney. I know how you like it fried up, so here it is!!” With her eyes wide with excitement and her tongue slurping her upper lip, she stood there, both hands holding the ancient black iron skillet out in front of her—the four slices of baloney looking like meat cups, spitting and popping and wafting out waves of fragrantly spicy fried grease.

“Wow!! Can I eat mine now?” I asked breathlessly.

“No, mijo.” Now turning back to the stove to turn off the burner. “You go and get dressed now. Hurry! By the time you do that I’ll have your baloney on a plate. ¡Ándale!” (Get going!)

Running through the kitchen I found my newly pressed clothes on top of the “chester drawers”. Next to them was a pair of clean white socks and my “next to best” boxer shorts.

“Mom!” I yelled from the next room. “Do I wear the same tie that I wore this morning? I don’t know how to do the knot!”

“Don’t worry! Just wear the shirt with the collar open.” She instructed from the kitchen. “You already wore a tie this morning so you don’t need one tonight.”

“OK.” I wondered if that was some kind of tie rule. Once you wear one early you don’t have to wear one later. Sounded good to me.

Finally dressed, I rushed into the kitchen and sat down at our little table.

“¿Ya estás listo?” She asked. (Are you ready?)

“Sí mamá. ¡Pronto, tengo hambre!” I whined. (Hurry, I’m hungry!)

She shoved a plate under my nose with three of the steaming cupped bologna slices. Looking up I saw that she had a smaller plate in her left hand with the remaining slice. Pulling her chair out she sat heavily down and looked up at me.

“Well, start eating!” She snapped.

“Pero, I have three and you only have one.” I explained.

“So?” She said, pushing her shoulders forward in an “I don’t know” motion. “You’re too skinny so you need to eat more. Go, eat!”

“No, mama!” I said as I gingerly picked up one of the cupped bologna slices and placed it on her plate. “We have to share and share alike! That’s what the guy said in Sunday school this morning. Share with your brothers and man, and….or, something like that.”

“¿Sí?” As she looked at me quizzically. “Chair and chair alike? Mira…..how funny. OK, two for you and two for me, ¿verdad? I like that saying better than the ‘chair’ one. Anyway, ¡Come!” (Eat!).

Cutting up the slices with my spoon (I ate everything with a spoon) I practically inhaled the bologna. Still chewing the last spoonful I got up and took my plate to the sink. Putting it into a small plastic tub that my mom always had in there with soapy water for soaking dirty dishes, I grabbed an old jelly-jar glass and half-filled it with water. Washing the meat down I burped and headed for the bathroom to try to plaster my hair down with a few dabs of strategically smeared Royal Crown Hair Pomade. It smelled good too.

While trying to glue down a few errant strands of hair my mind drifted and I began to think of the beautiful red haired Joni. I wonder if I’ll get a chance to talk to her again. I thought. No, I think this time Robert will probably horn in. He’s much better looking anyway, and has muscles. Then a second inner voice sounding a lot like Jerry said: But didn’t she make a face and call him a thug when you mentioned his name? Hmm, that was true.

Breaking my concentration and making me jump a little my mom yelled, “¡Oye Pancho, ya te tienes que ir! (You have to go now!) “¡Ándale!”

With that, I gave myself one last look in the yellow tinged mirror and headed for the front door.

With a last visual going over, a final two-thumbed eyebrow wash, and a quick peck on the cheek my mother pushed me out onto the porch and I headed across the street to Robert’s house.

III

When our little group entered the church I saw that the same men that had been up on the altar/stage in the morning were again seated in their same chairs, but tonight the Reverend Villa, instead of making a grand entrance through the front doors, was already sitting in a larger chair in the center of the stage about ten feet directly behind the pulpit. I spotted his wife, this time dressed in a fetching beige suit, sitting in the reserved area of her pew. Joni was on the piano playing, unaccompanied by the rest of the band, looking like some fairy princess in a fluffy yellow dress and matching shoes; with a circlet of tiny yellow flowers weaved into her bright red hair.

It was noticeably cooler in the little church that evening as the service kicked off a little bit after seven. The same musical group was up on the left side of the stage, but that night they’d been joined by an older, and quite large man, holding a guitar-like instrument almost as large as he was. The body of the guitar was shaped much like any concert model—blond wood, with a dark rosewood fret board, but was at least a foot deep from sound hole to back. Un-amplified, it sported four widely spaced strings and had a ridiculously short neck. I would later learn that it was a bass guitar commonly used in mariachi bands, and was called a “bajo sexto”. It did put out a rivetingly deep driving bass sound and rounded out the little ensemble quite nicely.

Attendance was quite a bit higher than it had been that morning, and the folks seemed a little better dressed. Remembering my earlier conversation with Robert I curiously started scanning the crowd for more red hair.

In the last pew on the left side of the church I spotted two boys, one heavier than the other, sitting next to each other and looking really bored. There was no mistaking them for anyone other than Joni’s brothers; both with fair complexions and shockingly red hair. I tapped Robert on the arm, “Mira, those vatos in the back. They Joni’s brothers?”

After casually turning his head and glancing over this left shoulder, searching them with his gaze, he turned back and said, “Who else would they be?”

“Just making sure.” I mumbled.

“Why? You wanna go talk to them?” Robert teased.

“NO!” I responded, hoping he was joking. “Do you know them, I mean…have you ever talked to them?”

“No, ese,” he said, stifling a yawn, “I don’t even really know the sister either. I tried to talk to her once but she just ignored me and walked away. But you—you got through to her on your first try!” This, accompanied by a poke on my shoulder.

“¡Órale, Robert! That’s enough! You know I wouldn’t stand a chance with someone like her….you know, like a girlfriend.”

“Frankie, from what I’ve seen, you wouldn’t stand a chance with the ugliest girl in Houston. You’re smart, ese, but not girl smart; you know?” He laughed his typical mocking bray-like laugh and popped me on the back of the head.

Mercifully the music ended, and after a few moments one of the men on the stage stood up and walked to the pulpit. Motioning with his hands, he asked everyone to rise for a prayer to dedicate the service to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Except for the absence of classes, the service was not unlike the earlier one that day: Praying, singing, and the passing of the baskets. Then, just when I thought Reverend Villa was about to stand to deliver the sermon, another one of the seated men stood and took over the pulpit. He then announced that the service was now open to “testimonios”. (Testimonials.)

Before I had a chance to ask Robert what that meant, several hands went up in the audience. The man now leading the service pointed to someone and said, “Bueno hermana, díganos su testimonio.” (OK sister, give us your testament.)

A middle-aged woman several pews ahead of us stood. Raising her right hand she took a deep breath and began to recite a verse from what I later learned was the Twenty-Third Psalm: “…aunque ande en valle de sombra de muerte…” (…yea I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…). Finishing her recitation to a ragged chorus of holy exaltations from the congregation she paused momentarily then began a rambling discourse on how the Lord had performed miracles on her and her family’s life. She spoke of nothing in particular, just a general “…and He’s kept us all well and with food on the table and clothes on our backs….” kind of discourse.

All the while, and as she spoke, her right hand remained raised. Slowly her voice began to waver and increase in volume. Her words began to run together and her head stared to rock from side to side. As she became more animated the congregation’s exclamations also rose in intensity. It was difficult to hear exactly what she was saying through all the noise the people were making, but then without warning the woman raised both arms straight up and began to jump up and down. Her voice changed, dropping a full octave and increasing to an unbelievable volume, and then the strange language began to pour out of her mouth. The place went nuts.

Screaming, howling, people dropping to the floor, foreign words coming at me from all directions—and I began to panic just a bit. When the bedlam started everyone stood up, and so did I. Now I looked around and saw that Robert was still sitting down staring blankly ahead, although his grandparents were standing quietly with their heads bowed. I quickly sat back down.

“Robert,” I whispered, “this is what they did this morning.”

Turning and freezing me with his eyes he said coldly, “Ese, this is what they do all the time.”

“Why?” I wondered out loud.

“It’s what they say is the Holy Ghost.” He explained, looking at his nails.

“Have your abuelos ever done that?”

“I don’t think so.” as he turned to look at them. “At least I’ve never seen them do that.”

“Well, I think it’s a little scary. What’re they saying?”

“I don’t know vato. It’s another language.” He said with a smirk and a shake of his head.

“Funny.” But I really didn’t think it was funny. It was strange…in a scary kind of way.

I wanted to see what the red haired boys were doing, but with everyone standing up it was hard to see anything behind me. So I stayed scrunched down and finally everything started to die down.

Slowly, one by one, people started to sit. Everyone around me was thanking God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and Jehovah for the holy blessing. I saw a couple of people helping a frail looking old woman get out from under a pew where she’d ended up after falling. She was still shaking, eyes red and watery, but continuously thanking the Lord.

Everyone finally settled down and the man up on the pulpit seemed to want to take back control of the service.

“Bueno,” he sighed, “gracias a Dios por la bendición.” (thanks to God for the blessing.)

Looking around the congregation he asked, “¿Quién más quiere testificar?” (Who else would like to testify?)

Oh no, I thought. Not again! I looked quickly back at Robert. He was staring at the floor rubbing the small blue cross tattooed on his hand between his thumb and forefinger.

Another scattering of hands went up. The man pointed to a younger man in his thirties.

“Sí hermano, ¡díganos!” He prompted, with a flourish of his hands.

The man stood up and raised his right hand. He also began by reciting a verse from the bible then launched into a rambling testimony regarding the loss of a job and how God had helped him find another one within a week. I guess his delivery wasn’t up to the congregation’s standards, as the smattering of affirmations was not very enthusiastic and actually sounded a lot like, “OK, we get it! Hurry up and finish.”

He ended up by trailing off in both volume and fervor and finally sighed out a, “Gracias a Dios, amen” before tentatively sitting down.

Then as if it had been choreographed, a succession of kids began standing up quickly, one right after the other, all reciting well memorized bible verses. As soon as one would finish and sit down another one would pop up, recite a verse and sit down. Some bible verses were very short, (God is love), and others went on and on, breathlessly delivered while the child stared straight ahead, bolstered by the congregation’s hearty verbal approvals the longer the recitation went on.

When no one else got up for a few seconds, and after the last little person had spit out his verse and sat back down, Joni suddenly started playing some happy sounding little mini-hymn. Robert later told me they call these “coritos”, or “little choruses.” Re-energized, everyone really got into these with great gusto. Tambourines banging, hands clapping, and feet tapping, the crowd rocked on with the band; and even the old guy with the bajo sexto stood up from his folding chair and heartily slapped his instrument in perfect time, eliciting from it a deep and heavy bass thump that drove the song vigorously. I noticed that Joni, who had started all this anyway, had also been swept up in the musical excitement and was bobbing her head rhythmically and bouncing joyfully on the piano bench.

After the corito had finally come to an exhaustive end the crowd sat down and the paper fans magically reappeared—each frantically thrashing the warm soggy air that had been generated by the throng’s vigor, but accomplishing very little other than to stir it up and recirculate it around the auditorium. I glanced back to where the Villa brothers had been sitting but they were no longer there. A few more kids got up and recited their verses, followed by a few more coritos, and finally it was over; silence for about thirty seconds.

Taking his cue, the man leading the service stepped up and introduced the Reverend Villa. Acknowledging the intro he looked around and straightened up his perfectly knotted tie and slowly got up from his chair. Taking the pulpit and opening his white leather bible he began leafing through it, his head down and his brow furrowed, as if he had lost his place. Stopping momentarily, and seemingly having found what he was looking for, he smoothed down the page and solemnly looked up at his flock. He seemed to take stock of every person in the congregation while his hands tightly gripped the front corners of the pulpit. Taking a deep breath he began.

“Hermanos, Dios nos a bendecido esta noche. Me ha dado el mensaje esta noche que Él quiere que les dé a ustedes.” (Brothers/sisters, God has blessed us tonight. He has given me the message that He wants me to give to all of you.) From the Book of James he read a few verses, paused after closing his eyes, then quietly began his sermon.

Although still very dynamic, and dressed immaculately, he seemed a little less energetic than he’d been that morning, and moved around the altar/stage with a bit less vigor. Less like a fiery preacher and more like a learned professor, he spoke to each word in the verses he’d read—delivering an elucidation of what St. James had really meant to say in his letters. Ever the faithful, the congregation punctuated each pause in his sermon with a scattering of amen and halleluiah; here and there a baby cried and a few people coughed.

I found myself drifting off in spite of the heat and the occasional numbing of my butt on the rock hard pew, and I fought to keep my eyes open. I noted that Robert had dropped his head into his hands, and with elbows resting on his knees, was fighting to maintain his vertical balance. Slowly swaying left he’d twitch slightly and start to sway to the right. A few seconds later, a twitch and he’d start his sway to the left. His grandparents were sitting stiffly to his left, eyes glued to the reverend.

After about forty-five minutes the sermon finally ended, and after stifling a yawn I arched my back and indulged in a delicious joint cracking stretch. After a solemn farewell hymn and an ending prayer we all stood up and started shuffling toward the aisle.

Just as I reached the end of our pew I heard someone behind me calling my name.

“Frankie! Frankie! ¡Oye, espérate!” (Wait!) It was Señora Sánchez.

Unable to move any faster because of the congestion in the aisle I stopped and looked over my shoulder. She was shuffling between my pew and the one in front, one hand holding on to the front pew and the other frantically waving. “¡Espérate! Quiero preguntate algo.” (Wait! I want to ask you something.)

Trapped, I turned to her. “Sí Señora.”

“Hablé con el reverendo Villa y queremos visitarlos el sábado próximo. ¿Van a estar en casa tus padres?” (I spoke to Reverend Villa and we want to visit you next Saturday. Will your parents be home?) She asked breathlessly.

“I don’t know.” I answered honestly. “Maybe my mom, but I don’t know about my dad.”

“Oh that’s OK.” (It sounded like, ‘Odas OK.’) “We wan visiting you en you familia for the praying for all you to come back to shursh.” She smiled widely; proud of herself for communicating her message to me in English. I thought maybe I should just speak to her in Spanish from now on.

“Bueno pues,” I started, “le digo a mi mamá pero no sé si van a estar en casa el sábado.” (I’ll tell my mom but I don’t know if they’ll be home on Saturday.)

“¡Ay, sí!” She said, clapping her hands together then clasping them to her heart. “Yo conocí a tus padres cuando eran muy jóvenes.” (Oh yes, I knew your parents when they were very young.)

“Oh, OK. I’ll tell them.”

By now the aisle was clear and I saw Robert and his family as they were going through the front door. Waving goodbye hastily at Señora Sánchez I hurried down the aisle.

From behind me I heard, “Hey, what’s your hurry?” It was Joni.

“Oh, ah, hi…I think we’re leaving.” As I put my hurried departure on hold.

“So, how did you like the service?” She asked sweetly.

“Oh, sure, it was good—you know, OK.” I was stammering.

“Well, good to see you again, but I still don’t like your friend.” She said this through a little smile while looking behind me where Robert would’ve been.

“Oh, sorry. My parents don’t come here so I have to ride with him. We live in the same neighborhood.”

“Where’s that?” She asked.

“El Crisol.” I quickly responded.

“That’s a rough neighborhood,” she whispered, “You like it there?”

“Well, that’s where my parents live,” I responded, “so I don’t have much of a choice.”

“Of course. Well, I’d introduce you to my brothers but they left early. I’m sure you saw them.  Well, maybe next time…if you decide to come back.” She broke into a large smile and I noticed a small dark mole just above her lip on the left side of her face.

Suddenly, not really knowing what to say, all I could come up with was, “Sure, I gotta go. Bye.”

“Bye, Frankie.” The way she said that made me feel like I was a little kid.

“Call me Frank.” I called over my shoulder as I headed out through the doors and down the front steps.

I trotted over to where Robert was getting into the back seat of the car and squeezed in next to him.

He elbowed me in the ribs and loudly whispered, “Frankie the Bear!  Again, with the chica roja (red chick). Be careful, ese, or her brothers will kick your ass.”

“Roberto!”  His grandmother said sharply from the front seat.

All I could do was grin stupidly.

 

They Came Bearing Gifts

I

The following Saturday, as usual on a hot summer day, I had gotten up late, and after having a stiff flour tortilla smeared with some dried out refried beans I wandered out to the back yard to lounge in the sparse grass under a small pin oak tree. A few years ago, and when we lived in the house on House Street, Saturdays usually meant a good breakfast of atole con leche y azúcar (hot cornmeal mush with milk and sugar), in the morning, with an exciting bus trip to downtown Houston for shopping, hot chili dogs, and a movie in the afternoon. But since the beginning of my mother’s health problems brought on by the unexpected birth of my brother, her kidneys’ decision to manufacture stones that could only be removed by surgery, and my father’s alcohol filled binges there was hardly enough money for anything other than the most rudimentary in food, housing and clothing. Movies were out of the question, so my Saturday entertainment was now limited to reading, listening to radio dramas, playing by myself, and daydreaming.

Taking a couple of old almost spineless hardback books outside with me I flopped down on the dewy grass and rolled over on my back in the cool shade. Using the book to block out the mid-morning sun filtering through the leafy branches I tried to get back into Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn, but soon found myself thinking back to the odd little Pentecostal church and its even odder members.

I was deep into wondering about the trance some of the members had gone into before falling to the floor and speaking in tongues when I suddenly remembered that Mrs. Sánchez was supposed to come to visit today. Worse, I had completely forgotten to mention it to either my mother or my father at all! Scrambling up to my feet I threw the book to the ground and ran into the house.

“Mamá! Mamá! Where are you? I forgot to tell you something!” I breathlessly shouted as I flew through the screen door.

“¡Aquí estoy en la cocina! ¿Qué quieres?” She responded impatiently, wringing out a ragged dishcloth and draping it over the sink.

Tearing into the kitchen I saw that she had just finished washing and drying the dishes and pans that had been left to soak overnight in the small soap filled plastic tub.

“Mrs. Sánchez is coming over today!” I spit out.

“Who?! What?!”

“Mrs. Sánchez…the one from the church!”

“What schursh?” She looked pissed. “And, why is she coming here?”

“The schursh…uh, church that I went to last Sunday with Robert!” I explained, while pasting on my face the most innocent look I could muster. “You know. The little fat lady you used to know.”

“¡Pancho!” She only called me that when she was getting irritated. “How do you know she’s coming to our casa?”

Expecting a stinging left hook to come out of nowhere I slowly raised my right forearm for a preemptive block, and answered timidly, “Well, she told me to tell you she’s coming to pray with you—or maybe pray for you, and dad too—so God can make you go back to church.”

“WHAT??!!” I was doomed.

“Mom! I’m sorry! I forgot to tell you. I don’t know why!” I whined, trying hard to swallow the rapidly growing lump in my throat.

“And she’s coming TODAY??”

“Yeah, I think that’s what she said.” Any second now I’d be on the floor wondering who I was.

“¡Dios mio!” She was exasperated and started pacing around the little kitchen, her left hand busy wiping her brow. I was temporarily out of range. “What time are they coming? Do you know that?”

“Uh, no. She didn’t say. All she said was that she was coming and asked if you and dad were going to be home.” Her head spun around, her dark eyes freezing me like a startled deer.

“What did you tell her about your dad?”

“Well, I said you’d probably be home but that I didn’t know about him.”

“Jesus Christ!” She was really pissed now. “He’s not here—he didn’t come home from work yesterday!”

“Well,” I offered amicably, “maybe that’s a good thing, no?”

“¡Pendejo!” She yelled. “What if he comes home drunk while she’s here? What’s going to happen then?”

“I don’t think she’s coming alone…” I offered up meekly.

“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?”

“Maybe she’s bringing some other people from the church with her?” My death was imminent.

“Holy God!” Her eyes were bulging and her hands were balled up. I was keeping my eye on the left one.

“I’m sorry, mama. Is there something I can do?” I asked, terrified.

“Pancho, you’ve done enough! Now tell me what time they’re coming.”

“I don’t know, I don’t know. What time is it?”

“Get out of here and put some clothes on!” She yelled, pointing the way with her left index finger.

Because it was Saturday I hadn’t bothered to put on a shirt or shoes and was just wearing a very old pair of jeans. Scurrying out of the kitchen but keeping a wary eye out for a sneak attack at the back of my head, I headed for the chester drawers to look for some clothes.

Finding a relatively hole-free white T-shirt and a pair of wrinkled khaki pants, I dressed quickly and exited the house to the safety of the front yard. Putting the tree between the house and myself I sat on the ground facing the street. Retrieving the book I had hastily thrown down earlier I again tried to concentrate on the words but found my interest waning. There were more important events about to unfold.

II

An old wood paneled Pontiac station wagon turned cautiously onto our street. As the car rolled slowly I saw several arms extending from the car window—all pointing in the direction of our house—and then the car came to a sudden squealing stop.

Tumbling out of the car the group paused momentarily to smooth out from their clothes the humidity-induced wrinkles, straighten up their hats, and to carefully tuck their well-worn black leather covered Bibles under their arms. The three men in the group were all dressed in ill-fitting wool pin-striped double breasted suits, and the two pudgy women, one of them Mrs. Sánchez, were in full Sunday morning “going to church” dresses, complete with tattered little netted hats perched atop their graying electric-ironed curls. This, in a neighborhood where shoes and shirts were optional.

Sizing each other up and whispering some encouragement to one another, they turned as if one, and marched through our little front yard. Walking by me the men nodded their heads and greeted me with a “God bless you child”. Mrs. Sánchez waved, winked, and smiled. The lead, a short paunchy man with a badly trimmed mustache whom I’d seen sitting on the stage, strode up to our rickety screen door, and with his open palm gently rapped the frame a few times.

“¿Señora De León, Señora De León? Somos de la Iglesia de Jerusalén y deseamos visitar por unos cuantos minutos para platicarle de nuestro Señor Jesucristo.” (Mrs. De León, we’re from the church and want to visit for a few minutes to speak to you of our Lord Jesus Christ.)

Still sitting on the ground with my back to the tree, I watched as my mother came to the door with her best smile frozen on her face.  After a few words she opened the screen door and let them in. As the last lady passed through, my mother shot me a “you are in deep trouble” look, and pointed at me with her left index finger to ensure that I understood completely.

After a few minutes I got up and walked over to the porch. Sitting on the top step I could hear most of what was going on in the front room.

They told my mother that the pastor of Iglesia Jerusalén, Reverend Villa, had assigned them to reach out to her and her husband to see if they would like to resume visiting the church they had attended many years ago. There was no pressure to do so, they assured her, but since “little Frankie” had attended a couple of services with another family, it would please them to see the full De León family attend on their own. It didn’t matter, they said, which service we chose to attend; as there was a service or a prayer meeting just about every night, and we would be welcome anytime.

My mother wasn’t saying much, mostly replying that she would have to discuss this matter with her husband. Eventually they asked where her husband was. “Oh,” she said, “he’s working.” To this they asked if he worked regularly on Saturdays, and just exactly what it was that he did. My mother, never one to be able to tell a very good lie, began to hesitate and repeat herself nervously. It began to sound like an interrogation, and when I got the courage to turn around and try to look through the screen I spotted my mother sitting on our little couch looking like a trapped rabbit.

The two women in the group had taken a seat on either side of her and the three men were sitting on our kitchen chairs in a rough semi-circle facing the three women. They all had their bibles on their laps, each open to different places, and were reading different passages prior to asking their questions or making comments.

After about thirty minutes I heard one of the men say, “Bueno hermanos, vamos a orar.” (OK, brothers, let us pray.) They all stood, momentarily leaving my mom seated, and closed their bibles. Mrs. Sánchez offered my mother her hand and having taken it was gently made to stand with the group. Raising their hands and bowing their heads the pudgy guy led off the prayer.

He began by thanking God for allowing them to reacquaint themselves with one of His long lost sheep and reassured the Lord that very soon the De León family would return to the holy fold. The rest of the group was also praying out loud but the lead speaker mostly drowned their words out. My mother had her head bowed but her eyes were open and she appeared to be intently studying her sandals and counting her toes.  Just then I saw a tear run down her face and hover on her chin.

The prayer went on forever and got louder and louder—and I feared that our neighbors might soon hear the clamor and think that there was something seriously amiss at our house. And based on my previous experience at their church, I fully expected them to fly off into a holy hysteria any minute and start dancing around speaking in strange languages. That would surely bring out a few weapons in my neighborhood.

As good fortune would have it the little group remained in tight control and kept their histrionics in check, and their prayers in Spanish. Slowly the volume decreased and thankfully soon they all began to say “amen” over and over. That was a really good sign and indicated that it was all but over.

The women, having produced handkerchiefs from some hidden pocket, were swabbing their eyes and hugging my mother over and over. The men having put their bibles on the chairs were shaking each other’s hands and hugging each other. That confused me.

By the time they all finally piled out onto the porch I had retreated back to the tree, and from there watched the group swirl around my mother like sharks around a bait ball; each assuring her that the Lord had plans for her, her husband, and even me. Now in the late afternoon sun I noticed that my mother’s cheeks were streaked and her eyes appeared wet and swollen. She was also now in possession of a delicate white hanky, which I knew for sure, she didn’t own. She didn’t seem to be cross, or even slightly put out, but in fact looked somehow acquiescent and submissive. It was a look that I had never seen on my mother’s face, but one that I would ultimately get used to seeing on her regularly for many years to come.

As the group drove away, arms waving through the car’s open windows, I felt my mother’s hand softly touch my neck. Turning and fully expecting her to be angry I instead saw her lovingly smile at me. “Ven mijito,” she whispered. “Let’s see what we can find for you to eat.” Sliding her arm over my shoulder she guided me back up the steps and back into the house.

“Mom,” I asked. “Are you going to tell dad that those people came?”

“Sí, ¿como no?” She said sweetly. “He has to know because we need to accept God in our lives.

“Why?”  I asked curiously.

Because He’s the only one who can stop your dad from drinking, and He’s the only one who can make me well. And for Him to be able to do those things we must all go to church to ask forgiveness for all of our sins.  So, yes, he has to know.”

What sins? I thought.  I’ve never killed anyone or stolen any money either.  “But mom, I don’t think dad is just going to agree to go just because you ask him to.” I said incredulously.

“Sí, mijito, he will. Not because I ask him to, but because God will show him the way.  I never knew that before now, but now I know and I feel it in my heart.”

She turned and strode into the kitchen. “Ven,” she said, “let’s eat and then you can go outside until it’s time for you to go to bed. I have to wait for your father to come home.”

“He may not be home until tomorrow morning, mom!” I pleaded.

“I know mijito, but I’ll be waiting for him anyway.”

After we had eaten some flour tortillas with refried beans, and had split a hot dog between us, I went out the back door to wait for it to get dark. Sitting on the back steps I watched the dusky evening fade and the saw the fireflies begin their flickering flights.  Later, after hearing the frogs and crickets come to life, I heard my mother puttering around the kitchen happily humming some out of tune melody.

Later, darkness enveloped the neighborhood and I found it harder to keep my eyes open.  Scratching a couple of mosquito bites I got up opened the screen door and walked into the dark kitchen. My rollaway bed had been taken out of its hiding place in a small closet in the front room and set up in its usual place between the kitchen table and the window. As I peered into the front room on my way to the bathroom I saw my mother’s silhouette dimly illuminated by the waning moonlight.  She sat motionless on our little couch by the front window looking out into the darkness. Many hours later a merciful deeply numbing exhaustion would finally overtake her and she would sleep fitfully until the bright dawning sun cruelly welcomed her to yet another dismally lonely and empty morning.

And So It Begins

And So It Begins

 

Jesus Loves You—Trust me

 

The sermon on that hot Sunday morning lasted almost an hour, and during that time sitting on that hardwood pew hardly moving, my eyes remained glued to the man behind the pulpit. His booming voice formed beautiful words that I eagerly consumed, each powerful phrase painting a vibrant and colorful picture of redemption and mercy and goodness. He spoke of Jesus, God’s son, sent to earth to live humbly and poorly among us for thirty-three years before allowing humanity to nail Him to a wooden cross and to suffer unspeakable agony and humiliation before dying a slow and excruciating death. This selfless act, I was told, was what now made it possible for my soul to spend all of eternity at God’s side in heaven. All I had to do was to accept Jesus, declare to the world that He was now my personal savior, and live as a Pentecostal Christian for the remainder of my days on earth.

Looking directly at me he lowered his voice, and with anguish asked, “Why won’t you do this today, this minute—this second? Stand up! Tell the Lord that you’re ready. Commit the rest of your life to Him! Come to Jesus, why won’t you?”

His arms were raised, imploring the very heavens to cast hellfire lightning bolts to those who would dare not heed his plea. His terrible dark accusing eyes were suddenly pinned on me and I felt that if I didn’t move something terrible might happen to my soul. I understood now that to obtain the salvation that he spoke of all I needed was to get to my feet and move toward the altar. Deep down inside, my conscience was urging me to hurry and not lose the moment. It was urging and begging me to move. And, just as I turned my head to the left to seek a way out to the aisle, I saw Robert’s face curiously staring at something ahead of me and to my right. Breaking away from the visual lock the reverend had cast on me I hastily looked back to my right to see what had attracted Robert’s attention. In the pew ahead of me a heavy round-faced woman was smiling broadly while staring intently and pointing her finger at my nose.

Her lips whispered, “I know you.” Just then a cold drop of sweat rolled down my back.

Robert gently nudged me, and tipping his head in the direction of the beautiful red-headed pianist now sitting on the first pew blankly staring at the reverend, said, “I like mine better.”

Abruptly, I again became aware of my surroundings and realized that I was about to slide off the front of the pew. Regaining my composure and my balance I slid backward pressing my back onto the hard cool wood, thus allowing my shirt to soak up the rest of the beads of sweat now pouring down my back—at the same time pulling me out of the woman’s line of sight.

Now, completely recovered from the reverend’s hypnotic spell I looked up and saw that several people had risen and were kneeling at the altar, their backs to the congregation. Their heads bowed, they were all praying loudly, and a few were crying. Looking down at their feet I saw that two of the men had holes in the soles of their shoes.

The reverend, apparently no longer concerned with me and my lost soul, was instead concentrating on his new converts loudly exhorting them to give up the great Satan and let Jesus come into their hearts. Going down gently on one knee and softly laying his left hand on the head of one of the kneeling men he loudly implored, “¡Señor, ábrele el corazón y llénalo con Tú amor y misericórdia! ¡Salva su alma en este momento para que pueda hallar la paz que sólo Tú le puedes dar!”   (Lord, open his heart and fill it with Your love and mercy! Save his soul at this moment so that he may find the peace that only You can give!) His right arm raised straight up shook mightily, hand full of white leather Bible, as if trying to rip God from the very heavens.

The reverend’s eyes were tightly closed, and with every forceful exhortation to the Lord a fine spray of sweat flew off his face and head. He slowly stood up, and while still tightly clutching the white Bible raised both hands high unto the heavens. Almost on his toes his entire body began to shake violently. His head rolled fiercely from side to side casting a heavier spray of sweat everywhere—and then in an almost completely different voice roared, “SANSA BALA MIKA LATA SONOBE ALLAYA RRAAMALTAL SANTALERRA ALLELUIA!” That last word almost fading out while his head dropped dramatically to his chest. Again and again his head would jerk up and he would begin yelling those words and phrases—and other similar ones—delivering them in a rat-a-tat-tat fashion, always ending with the “alleluia”.

That sent the entire congregation, including the men on the stage, into an unbelievable frenzy. Perhaps a dozen in the audience, mostly women, began shaking and trembling as their hysterical prayers went from Spanish, quickly morphing into that strange Arabic/Hebrew sounding language. On the stage one of men wearing a dark brown suit began moving slowly forward, arms lifted, eyes closed, mouth wide open as if trying to catch raindrops; then he began to dance.

Speaking in that peculiar dialect the man’s feet started to shuffle from side to side, while his arms flew in herky-jerky motions over his head. Up on his toes and reaching for the sky his body convulsed violently and he began to move in what seemed to be some type of Indian rain dance, minus the feathered head-dress.

Whoops and shouts were coming from every direction in the small church, and I saw five or six women simply collapse to the floor landing heavily the between pews, bodies twitching; all the while still yelling in that unintelligible language. No one paid any attention to them but instead continued to yell their prayers ever louder, some to the point of near hoarseness.

Everyone in the church was now standing, and the ones who weren’t in a state of frenzy were standing quietly with their heads bowed and their eyes closed. I looked to see if Robert had succumbed to the hysteria surrounding us but was surprised to see him standing quietly next to his grandparents and sister, still eyeing the red-head. She, however, was also standing but had her hands clasped in front of her and was staring blankly straight ahead. Up on the music side of the stage the two trumpeters, the drummer and the guitarist were sitting quietly fiddling with their instruments and apparently completely disinterested in the histrionics going on in the audience.

The reverend had calmed down somewhat, not speaking at all now and only shaking his head occasionally as if acknowledging the receipt of some holy subliminal message being sent directly into his mind. He remained standing, eyes closed and head pointed at the ceiling with his arms now spread-eagled, the left hand still gripping the white Bible tightly.

One by one the supplicants who had been kneeling at the altar began to get up and return slowly to their pews; each one, eyes cast sheepishly down at the floor, thanking God in moist and weepy whispers.

Gently, and not unlike the motion of a rolling ocean wave slowly and quietly receding from a water-soaked beach after having noisily crashed and foamed its fury onshore, one by one the people began to sit down quietly, murmuring “amen” over and over. Reverend Villa lowered his arms, lifted his head and opened his eyes. Now switching back to Spanish, while energetically mopping his soaked brow with his now sodden handkerchief, he gave thanks to Jehovah, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit for having visited today. The man in the brown suit stopped dancing and fell to his knees also hoarsely voicing his gratitude for the spiritual visitation.

Just then the red head unclasped her hands and daintily climbed the steps up to the piano. With no introductory chord, she snapped her head sharply down and launched into a full-throated happy hymn, while the rest of the musicians picked up on her downbeat and fell in time perfectly. The congregation began singing and clapping, and the tambourines chimed in heartily. Reverend Villa raised his head wearily, waved at the congregation, and with shoulders drooped but still gripping his Bible, walked to the stairs at the right side of the stage. Slowly, as if carrying the sins of all mankind on his shoulders he joined his wife on the front pew. After a brief hug they both turned their gaze to the pulpit where one of the other men had now taken his position, and joined the congregation in clapping and singing the happy hymn.

At this point I too was keeping time to the music by clapping and furiously tapping my feet. It was hard not to. All the while I kept wondering what it was that I had just seen. Although Robert’s grandparents had not joined the frenzied hysteria, but instead had remained standing quietly praying with their eyes closed, they didn’t seemed at all fazed by the spectacle I had just experienced. I was extremely curious about what had just happened and decided that I should have a long talk with Robert on the way home.

Ending the hymn with a flourish of his arms, punctuated with a fanfare of trumpet, drums and tambourines, the man in the brown suit motioned the congregation to remain standing. Looking into the crowd he called out two names, and a couple of girls—from the pew where the red-head had been sitting—stepped up to the altar and faced the crowd. The man behind the pulpit said simply, “Vamos a orar por la ofrenda.” (Let us pray for the offering).

After the prayer we all took our seats and the two girls walked to either side of the altar, each retrieving a large round straw basket. Side by side they walked down the center aisle to the very last set of pews and handed the baskets to the person sitting on each end. The baskets were then handed from one person to the next, then up to the next pew in front, each person dropping into them varying amounts of money.

As interested as I was in watching the baskets make their rounds, my attention had been drawn to the stunning red-haired pianist. When the two offering girls began making their way down the aisle she had begun to sing a beautifully moving hymn. Although I had never heard it before I was instantly moved by the hauntingly simple melody and the tenderly contemplative lyrics. Singing in her majestically husky alto voice and accompanied only by her piano, she introduced me to a hymn that I would later hear sung by Elvis Presley, Patsy Cline, and others, known in English as, “Just a Closer Walk with Thee”.

JUNTO A TI, SEÑOR, JUNTO A TI

Aunque débil soy, Señor
Tu poder me da valor
Satisfecho yo estaré
Si Tú estás junto a mí, junto a mí

Coro:
Quiero andar cerca de Ti
Junto a Ti quiero vivir
Diario andar cerca de Ti
Junto a Ti, Señor, junto a Ti

Cuando ya mi frágil ser
Deje aquí de padecer
Guíame, mi buen Señor
Junto a Ti, Señor, junto a Ti

[Coro]

Através del mundo cruel
Quiero siempre serte fiel
Quiero Tu carga llevar
Tuyo ser, Señor, Tuyo ser

[Coro]

JUST A CLOSER WALK WITH THEE

I am weak, but Thou art strong
Jesus, keep me from all wrong
I’ll be satisfied as long
As I walk, let me walk close to Thee

Chorus:
Just a closer walk with Thee
Grant it, Jesus, is my plea
Daily walking close to Thee
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be

Through this world of toil and snares
If I falter, Lord, who cares?
Who with me my burden shares?
None but Thee, dear Lord, none but Thee

[Chorus]

When my feeble life is o’er
Time for me will be no more
Guide me gently, safely o’er
To Thy kingdom shore, to Thy shore

The hymn ended with another chorus of “amen” and “hallelujahs” from the congregation as the two girls collected their baskets, full of mostly coins and a scattering of paper bills, and handed them to one of the men on the stage. He in turn left the stage with the baskets and disappeared through one of the doors to the right of the stage.

Now, yet another one of the men on stage, this one much older than the rest and wearing gold rimless spectacles, and a slightly rumpled dark gray suit, walked up behind the pulpit and addressed the congregation. In a soft and almost inaudible voice, and referring to a spiral notebook he’d retrieved from a shelf on the back of the pulpit, he began reading off a list of services scheduled, beginning that evening and continuing for the rest of the week. There seemed to be a service for every age group and gender: men’s services, women’s services, youth services, prayer meetings, and of course the special Sunday school and Sunday night service when every member was expected to attend. He placed special emphasis on every member bringing in guests as potential future members, and reminded everyone that without new membership the church couldn’t grow nor could it support its financial burdens.

At that, I kind of looked around to see if I could spot anything that may be placing a financial burden on that little frame building. There was no sound system, no fans for cooling (air conditioning was in its infancy at that time and prohibitively expensive), the lighting was rudimentary, and the pews were old and probably refugees from some Catholic church. The banners and material coverings for the pulpit and the baptismal tub looked handmade, and the upright piano was ancient. As for the rest of the instruments, I assumed the musicians personally owned them. And lastly, outside, the parking lot was non-existent so everyone just parked anywhere they could around the church. I was a bit puzzled and decided that would be another subject for discussion with Robert on the trip back home.

With that, the frumpy little man closed his binder and stored it back in its place inside the pulpit. Readjusting his spectacles he peered out at the audience and asked us all to rise. Calling on another man seated on the stage he said, “El hermano Gutierrez nos va a despedir.” (Brother Gutierrez will close).

Brother Gutierrez, a bit younger and a bit less frumpy, stepped up to the pulpit. “Vamos a orar.” (Let us pray.) Closing his eyes and raising his arms he began to pray in a loud and high tenor voice. He had apparently decided that he was going to use the farewell prayer to thank God for every living thing on earth; and he was all-inclusive in his gratitude. Next, he asked for instant healing for all the sick, injured, maimed, and otherwise unhealthy—whether or not they were saved. Finally, he implored the Lord to rain hellfire on all who dared to be anything other than Pentecostal; particularly the Catholics. This last supplication brought on a notable rise in the prayer volume of the crowd, and a few of the faithful in the crowd added “¡Sí Señor!” and, “¡Sálvalos JesuCristo!” (Save them Jesus Christ), for a bit of emphasis. At this point I was hoping he wouldn’t launch into the foreign tongue gig because suddenly I had to pee really badly.

Mercifully he ended with about twelve “amens” and and a couple of “gracias a Diós”—and it was finally over.

The red-head began playing a snappy little ditty and the rest of the musicians joined in. As I turned to my left to ask Robert where the bathroom was I heard my name being called from behind.

“¡Oye, Frankie!”

I turned back around and saw that the pudgy little woman was wildly waving her hand at me.

“¡Oye, Frankie, ven para acá!” (Come here). She said, as she was trying to push her way into the aisle.

Since I’d never laid eyes on her I wondered how she knew my name. I was about to find out.

 

I Gotta Go, Then I Gotta Go

 

Finally getting Robert’s attention (he was still eyeing the piano-playing redhead) I asked,

“Hey, where’s the bathroom?”

“Uh, you don’t really want to know.” He said seriously. “You need to wait until you get home, vato.”

“Mira, no puedo. ¡Tengo que ir!” (Can’t do it. I gotta go.) I replied, a bit breathlessly.

Giving me a bit of a disgusted look he said, “OK, but you’re gonna be sorry. It’s outside behind the church, ese.”

Everyone was clogging up the aisle—most people choosing where he or she was to say hello or goodbye, or whatever. Robert’s grandparents were amicably chatting with another couple, just out of the aisle but still in our row, and completely blocking my exit toward the aisle and out the front doors. Looking over my shoulder I saw that if I reversed my route I could exit our row by the wall and then head for the doors. I turned and headed for the wall.

A stubby hand planted itself on my chest and stopped me cold. “Frankie! Do you know who I am?” The pudgy woman attached to the stubby hand asked.

She had one knee on her pew and was leaning over the back, stretching her left arm out to plant her hand on my chest.

“No, I don’t.” I said tentatively.

“Soy Señora Sánchez.” She replied with a little smile squeezing her eyes into chubby little crescents on her face. “I know your mom and dad. Roberto y Avelina, ¿verdad?”

“Uh, yes.” I replied, now really getting nervous.

“And, I remember you too! But you were so little then…un bebito.” (A baby).

“Oh.” It was all I could think of to say as I tried to find a way to excuse myself and get to a bathroom quickly. “Well, I really have to go now.”

“Did you come with Roberto’s abuelos?” She asked, pointing to them as they stood in the aisle chatting with some people.

“Yes, but Robert was the one who asked me to come. Excuse me, but I really have to go.”

“Oh, sí. ¿Tienes que usar los servicios?” (Do you have to use the toilet?) She asked, with a little smile.

“Sí, señora.” Trying not to cross my legs.

“Mira, come with me. I’ll take you to one here in the church so you don’t have to go outside and use those in the back. Están un poco súcios. (They’re a bit dirty).

With that, she turned and headed toward the main center aisle, waving me around to her pew so I could follow her out. For a short heavy woman she moved with surprising agility—easily navigating out into the aisle, and using her rather wide girth to literally plow through the small groups of people who had decided to stand about and chat. With my discomfort growing steadily, but following closely in her wake, I saw that we were headed in the direction of one of the doors at the left back of the church where the Sunday school classrooms were located. Worse, directly in front of us, and to the left of the stage, stood the redhead casually conversing with the trumpet players. To my complete horror Señora Sánchez walked right up to them, inserting herself between the girl and the other two musicians. Addressing the girl she said, “Mira, hijita. ¡Quiero que conozcas a Frankie DeLeón!” (I want you to meet…).

My heart stopped and did a flip, then my stomach flipped, and to my dismay my bladder threatened to go rogue. Holding my organs in check by sheer willpower I managed to meet the girl’s gaze and extended my suddenly sweating hand.

“Hi.” She said softly and reached out with three lovely fingers. “I’m Joni. Nice to meet you.”

“Me too.” I mumbled. “Mrs. Sánchez was taking me to the bathroom.” I stammered, instantly wondering where in the hell those words had come from.

“Oh, well then you better go, I guess.” She advised, arching her eyebrows exposing beautiful emerald-green eyes.

“Bueno Frankie, the toilet is at the back of the classroom behind that door.” Mrs. Sánchez dutifully advised and pointing with her stubby finger. “We’ll be here talking while you do your business.”

I was crushed. Turning away quickly, feeling those deep green eyes on my back, I aimed myself in the direction of the door and tried to remember how to walk. Brushing by the trumpet players who had been expertly culled out by Mrs. Sánchez’s deft maneuvering I swore I heard a suppressed chuckle. Where a moment ago I was sweating because of the heat and humidity now I found myself sweating from sheer embarrassment.

When I walked out I saw that Mrs. Sánchez had moved away from Joni and was now talking with a couple of elderly ladies. Joni had resumed her conversation with the trumpet boys and had her back to me as I walked back into the main auditorium. Keeping my head down and quickening my pace I tried to get by her without being noticed. No such luck.

“Hey, everything come out OK?” Putting her hand to her mouth and stifling a giggle.

The trumpet boys let out a hoot.

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” I blurted out, causing the three to laugh out loud. “See ya.” I mumbled as I turned to find Robert and his family.

“Hey!” Joni called out. “Are those your parents?” Now completely turning away from trumpet boys and facing me full on.

“Who? Oh, the people I came with? No, no. They’re my neighbors. I came with my friend Robert. Those are his grandparents.” The words pouring out of my mouth as I hung in limbo captivated by her eyes. She had freckles. Who was this girl anyway? Pale, red hair, green eyes, and freckles?

“Oh, him.” She almost spat out the words. “He’s a thug. Is he your friend, or something?”

“Well, yeah.” I said cautiously and looking over my shoulder to make sure Robert wasn’t in the area. “But we do different things.” I explained.

Beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable as I noticed that trumpet boys were kind of glaring at me I said, “I gotta go. Oh, nice job on the hymn, by the way. See ya.”

As I started to step away she asked, “Are you coming to this evening’s service? It’s not as boring as the Sunday morning one, and there’s a lot more music.”

“Uh, I don’t know.” I answered, shaking my head. “But I don’t think so. I just came today because Robert asked me to come.”

“Well,” she added, “see if your parents can come too. I know my dad would probably like to meet them.”

“Your dad?” I asked.

“Yeah, you know, the one that gave the sermon. This is our church.”

OK, now that really blew me out of the water!

“Uh, uh, that’s your dad?” the words stumbling over my almost paralyzed tongue. “And, that’s your mom with him?”

“Of course, silly. Who did you think she was?”

Glancing over my other shoulder I spotted Reverend Villa and his wife casually chatting by the altar with a young couple. Both had black hair, brown eyes, dark complexions, and tended to be a bit on the heavy side. Joni was thin, fair, red hair, green eyes and freckles. Jesus!! My brain yelled.

“Oh, nobody…I mean, you know…nothing.” I had now completely lost control of my less than mature emotions and didn’t know what else to say. “Um, sure, yeah. OK.”

“OK!” She gleefully said. “See you tonight.” And with that she turned back to trumpet boys, who by now had lost all patience with me and were both standing with their hands on their hips, looking really annoyed.

Turning away I walked right into Mrs. Sánchez who’d been standing directly behind me.

“So,” she said in a singsong way, “are you going to talk to your padres and get them to come to church tonight?

“I don’t know.” I responded honestly, trying to walk around her. “They don’t go to any church.”

“Oh,” she said knowingly, “I think they’ve been here before. That’s why I recognized you. But you were a baby when they attended.”

“I don’t remember.”

“Of course not. You were too little. But, you know, I think I know where you live. Are they going to be home this afternoon?” her face now turning serious.

“I don’t know, I guess. At least I think my mom will be home but I don’t know about my dad.”

“Ah, sí.” She replied knowingly. “Your dad. He’s a handsome one!”

“He is?” I asked stupidly.

“Sí, mijo. Just like you!” And she reached out and pinched my cheek.

 

To Play, You Gotta Pay

 

OK, I thought, this is really getting out of control. I need to find Robert and get out of here.

“OK, I have to go now.” I stammered. “Thanks señora for showing me the bathroom.” My God! What a stupid thing to say!! Time to go!

Without looking back I pushed my way through the now thinning crowd and headed for the double doors at the front of the church. Stepping out into the blazing high noon sun I shaded my eyes with my hand and looked for Robert. Spotting him lounging on the fender of his grandfather’s Ford coupé I started walking across the white shell and dirt parking area alongside the church, looking down and being careful not to trip or fall into the moderately sized potholes pitting the surface.

I was still trying to understand how two dark-skinned, black-haired people could produce a light- skinned redhead with green eyes and freckles when I looked up to see exactly where I was. Had I gone three or four more steps with my head down, I would have literally walked into a brand- new ivory-colored Buick Special with all the trimmings, sitting next to the side exit door of the church, windows down and engine running. It was clearly out-of-place among the dozen, or so, decades-old jalopies and rusted-out pickup trucks scattered haphazardly around the lot.

Walking by the car and gawking through the open windows, I smelled the pungent aroma of fresh leather wafting out and saw myself reflected in the tons of brightly polished chrome and sculptured metal displayed in abundance, both inside and outside the car. As I came up to Robert he threw me a thumbs up sign and said, “So, I saw you making it with that red-headed chick, vato.”

“Well, I wasn’t making it with her or anyone else, Robert. That woman, Sánchez, was showing me to an inside bathroom and we stopped and started talking. That’s all.”

“Sure, ese. Frankie the Bear strikes again! Ha!! Did she give you her name? Her phone number? Her bra size?” He gave me a leering look and made a gesture using the index finger of one hand being inserted into a circle made by his thumb and index finger of his left hand. I wasn’t sure exactly what he was trying to demonstrate (yes, I was a little slow), but I knew it had to be lewd.

Looking around to make sure no one was within earshot, I responded with my best comeback: “Uh-huh!”

He covered his eyes and started giggling maniacally. “¡Ese vato, you’re so pendejo!” (Stupid, but worse). The finest chick in the church and you march right up and make it with her. You are one pelotón!” (Ballsy).

“Oye, Robert! Never mind the chick, whose fucking car is that?”

Recovering from his fit of the giggles he wiped his eyes and said, “Cálmate ese, that belongs to the red-headed chick’s father. The church buys him a new one every year.”

“Na-huh!” I said clearly surprised.

“Sure, ese. And he gets a free house and clothes too.”

“But how?” I asked incredulously.

Looking at me a bit more seriously he lowered his voice and said, “The money, ese. The money they pick up in those baskets at every service. Sometimes they pass it around twice if they don’t think there’s enough the first time. And then if you’re a member, like mis abuelos, you have to give ten percent of whatever you earn at your job every payday. My abuelo has to pay that from his retirement check from the railroad. Sometimes he has to show his pay stub to the church secretary so they’re sure he’s not cheating. He doesn’t want to go to Hell and burn when he dies, ese. So he pays.”

Looking back again at the two tons of gleaming luxury, I could not bring myself to believe that this pitiful group of people could scape up enough money every year to keep their pastor in this type of transportation and dress; and then I had no idea where they lived or what kind of house they had.

“And his kids too, ese.” Robert added.

“His kids too, what?” I queried.

“Clothes, expenses, tu sabes, todo.” (You know, everything). He said, making a baseball umpire’s safe sign with his arms.

“So, Joni has sisters?”

“No, pendenjo, two other brothers. And they have red hair also, so don’t go falling in love with them too—Frankie The Hot for red-hair Bear!” That threw him into another fit of hysterical laughter.

“Knock it off Robert!”

I was still trying to come to grips with someone getting a car like that for free every year when I saw Reverend Villa, followed by his wife, then Joni, coming through the side door and down the steps. Following them the men who’d been sitting on the stage on either side of the pulpit filed out and lined themselves up, shoulder to shoulder, as the reverend stepped into his car. One of the men peeled off and hurried around the front of the car to open the doors for Mrs. Villa and Joni.

In a display fit for a king, Reverend Villa started the car and eased out of the bumpy parking lot. The church members who’d been gathered in little groups talking now gave their full attention to the departing auto and they all began to wave as the reverend extended his left arm out of the window in a pseudo Nazi-like salute. The car, engine growling menacingly, eased out of the lot and smoothly whooshed out onto the asphalt street, and out of sight.

On the ride home, Robert kept pestering me about my conversation with Joni, wanting to hear again and again every word that had come out of her mouth. A little annoyed, I finally told him that three times was enough, and at this point even his grandmother asked him to stop being a pill. Besides, my mind was overly preoccupied with everything that I had seen and experienced that Sunday morning. Robert may’ve thought it was the girl that had interested me the most, but he would’ve been wrong.

Speaking in strange tongues—now wasn’t that something?

I couldn’t wait to tell my mom.