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Let The Music Begin

Let The Music Begin

 

Satan, From The Stretch

 

By the time I was a sophomore in high school my family was so well entrenched into the religion that we were now not only attending every single service that was held in the church during the week, we were spending most Saturday afternoons attending bible study classes; and most all day Sunday attending morning, afternoon (prayer circle), and evening services.

Within a few months of his conversion, my father (with the lobbying help of the reverend) had been elected president of the Sociedad De Hermanos (The Society of Brothers), a post that required him to ensure that the adult male membership was regularly attending the Thursday and Sunday night services, was active in recruiting new members, and most importantly, tithing at least ten percent of its earnings into the church coffers. The female and the integrated youth memberships had similar leadership posts and comparable responsibilities.

In fact, Reverend Villa had been so successful in building up the old church’s membership and wealth that by late 1957 he had been able to arrange the sale of the church building, along with its adjacent dining room, to an aspiring young black preacher and his budding congregation. During the few years that we had been attending our church the surrounding neighborhood had slowly evolved from a mostly Hispanic population to one now predominantly black. The black reverend’s growing congregation, lacking a proper meeting place, was elated when it was announced that their leadership had purchased our little church—especially because for the last few years they’d been holding their spirited services under a circus-like tent a couple of blocks away.

Both reverends considered the transaction a holy act of God.

With the proceeds from the sale of the church, and a healthy infusion of cash from the treasury, Reverend Villa was able to make an eighty percent down payment on a mortgage for a recently vacated Methodist Church. And with a couple of year’s worth of “special offerings” and a little arm-twisting on the tithing, the remaining twenty percent should be paid off.

The Methodist church’s previous owners, noting that their neighborhood had recently added a couple of fairly affluent but still very Hispanic neighbors, decided to quickly reassess their future “temple of worship” needs. After a meeting with the church elders they all agreed that the handwriting on the wall appeared to be written in Spanish. So taking quick stock of their finances they listed the building at a bargain price hoping for a quick sale. At the same time they went hunting for a more appropriate location, and in no time their realtor came back to the church leadership with the news that he’d found a newly vacated property conveniently located in a more…appropriate area. Clearly this was yet another act of God.

The Methodist church, easily four to five times the size of our old church, was barely ten years old, and its location in the still mostly white middle class subdivision was definitely a step up for our congregation. The property consisted of a main auditorium and two attached buildings that housed meeting rooms, classrooms, and a fully equipped kitchen and dining room.

Centrally heated and newly air-conditioned (a rarity during this time), the church’s main auditorium was finished with nicely upholstered theater style seating, a built-in sound system, a three-tiered altar area with a large pulpit, and a set of retractable hidden steps behind the pulpit that would allow the congregation to be able to fully view even the very shortest preacher. On one side of the altar, and on a slightly raised stage on the top tier, sat a large black grand piano (included in the deal), with plenty of room (and electrical hook-ups) for amplified instruments and two sets of drums. The floor was richly carpeted, the walls exquisitely draped, and the main auditorium was illuminated by several grandly ornate crystal chandeliers. During prayer circles, meetings, and meditation services, the chandeliers were left off and soft illumination was provided by what later would become known as track lighting—strategically installed in the church’s tall peaked ceiling.

It took just a few days to move into the new building, and most of that time was taken up with moving the kitchen equipment and utensils from the old dining room to the new one. Of course my father volunteered to help and ended up doing most of the work. Already planning to retire from his job at Younger Brothers, he took a few unpaid days off, borrowing a trailer from the paint shop to help move the larger items. On Saturday he pressed me into indentured servitude, sorting and putting away silverware, pots and pans, and the church’s ample supply of mismatched dining ware. I did get a nice supper afterwards from the grateful and very happy cooking sisters.

The following day the very first Sunday school service was held, and as part of the opening ceremonies Reverend Villa announced that from that day forward the church would be known as “La Nueva Iglesia Pentecostal de Jerusalén”. A spiffy new, and very expensive, sign saying just that would soon be delivered and would hang proudly over the two large oak doors leading into the main auditorium.

This church was so remarkably different from what the congregation had grown accustomed to that for the first few weeks of services instead of concentrating on the various aspects of the service, including the sermon, most of them spent their time—heads back and necks craned—gawking at the beauty and opulence of the exquisite mahogany woodwork, the luxurious carpeting and drapery, and the lavish lighting. It was not until Reverend Villa finally had all he could take and delivered a scathing Sunday night sermon titled, “Satan’s Clever Little Temptations”. In it he angrily pointed out to the highly distracted congregation that the devil could covertly but effectively work his evil black magic by simply diverting attention and focus from Godly matters to the seemingly harmless, but ultimately damning, admiration of beautiful earthly objects.

Using examples including the worship of golden calves, the salty transformation of Lot’s wife at Sodom & Gomorrah, Judas’s thirty pieces of silver, and even John the Baptist’s head-removing infatuation with the beautiful but deadly Salome, he bluntly reminded them all of man’s fatal and sinful lust for beauty and his resulting inevitable fall from grace. Villa, pacing furiously from one side of the altar to the other, harangued the membership (in magnificent eardrum splitting stereo); and with sweat flying and spittle spraying, reminded them that this type of sin, although just short of idolatry, would just as surely result in their permanent and eternal damnation deep in the pits of fiery Hell. I wasn’t even saved and it terrified the hell out of me.

The call to the altar at the end of the sermon that night was extraordinarily well attended, even attracting the usually disinterested trumpet players; and the customary “mea culpa” cries from the most devout of the group seemed extra-energetic and exceptionally vocal.

As my mother left her seat to join the kneeling, screaming, and wildly arm-waving throng at the foot of the altar, she shot me a look that said, “Get your sinful ass up and follow me to the altar or you’ll surely fry in Hell for eternity.” Cowed momentarily by her silent but deadly invitation, I started to get up when out of the corner of my eye I saw Joni leave her front row seat and glide deliciously up to the piano.

Fully aware that the devil had just thrown me a vicious curve ball, I nevertheless made a quick decision to go ahead and take a full swing at it anyway. See, from where I was sitting, even though I couldn’t see her face, I had a perfect view of Joni’s beautifully flawless legs. And as she manipulated the foot pedals I would surely score an occasional flash of her lust-provoking upper thighs. Ignoring my mother’s burning glare I slid back into my seat, crossed my legs and focused my attention on the drummer, the bass player and that beautiful shiny black grand piano. Hi Satan. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Frankie.

 

Frankie Gets An Ax

 

On the way home one evening, after a later than usual Sunday night service and a few months after moving into the new church, my father caught my eye in the rear view mirror while we were stopped at a traffic light and said, “¿Oye, Pancho? You awake?”

“Yup.” I answered disinterestedly.

“How’d you like to learn to play guitar?”

“What?! Guitar? Why?” I was dumbfounded.

“Well, I think you oughta learn to play so maybe you can sit up on the stage with those other fellows in the church.” He said, as the Dodge shuddered through the intersection protesting my dad’s bad habit of shifting to third gear directly from first.

“I don’t have a guitar, dad.” I asked, trying to talk over the moaning of the little engine. “How’m I gonna learn to play one without one?” I quizzed.

“Yeah,” my brother piped in from the other side of the seat, “he don’t have one, daddy.”

My mother spun around in her seat, “¡Cállate, Ricardo! Tu papá is not talking to you!” Then turning back to my dad, “Are you Bob?”

Looking quickly to his right my dad started to say something to her, but probably thought better of it. Instead he looked back up to the mirror. “We could buy you one, boy. A cheap one, you know—cheap.”

“How cheap?” I asked curiously, wondering about the quality and size more than the cost.

“Yeah viejo, how cheap?” My mother asked, now turning her full attention to my dad and cocking her head just so.

“Ay, I don’t know, vieja. I’ll have to find one first. I don’t know, maybe twenty-five dollars?”

“¡Estás loco, viejo!” (You’re crazy!) She yelled, startling me. “Twenty-five dollars is a lot of money. Where we gonna get that kind of money from, huh?”

I sensed a big fight coming on, and apparently so did my brother as he flopped over on the seat bringing his knees up to his face and squeezing tightly into a fetal position.

“Look vieja, if you don’t mind, I’m talking to Frankie now. So could you please just butt out and let me talk to my son without you trying to stick your two cents in?” He was getting a bit exasperated.

“Sure,” she replied in a singsong way. “Now he’s suddenly ‘your son’, now that you want to spend twenty-five dollars on a stupid guitar. Ha!”

“Got…” he clipped the full word short. “Dios mío, could you just pipe down, vieja? Please?”

“Fine!” She snapped her head forward and stared out the windshield. “Go ahead and talk to…your son! Fine!!” She crossed her arms angrily and whispered, under her breath but loud enough so she could be heard over the straining engine, “Estás loco, viejo pendejo.” (You’re crazy, you ignorant old man.)

Sucking in a very long breath he jammed the gearshift straight up into second gear, finally realizing that the car was about to stall out. “Dios, dame paciencia.” (God, give me patience.) He whispered to himself—and through the mirror I saw him rolling his eyes.

After a few minutes of silence, except for the strains of the Dodge’s tortured engine, “OK Pancho, listen. Tomorrow during my lunch hour I’ll borrow a pickup from work and I’ll check around to see what I can find. There’s a Jew pawnshop close to the paint shop and I know I they gotta have guitars. If I find one there I know I can bargain those cheap kike bastards down to a fair price. What’d you think?” (Even washing him in the blood of Christ didn’t seem to have cleansed him of his anti-Semitic comments.)

“OK.” I said softly. “But how am I going learn to play? Teachers cost money, right?”

My mother snapped her head to the left and with a snarl said, “Yeah Bob, teachers cost money!”

Completely ignoring her now, “OK, I’ll buy you a book. You’re smart. You can learn from the book. I’ll see if they have one they can throw in with the guitar.”

“Book, book, book! Learn with a book!” My brother mumbled from his dark side of the seat. I pinged him on top of his head.

“Ow!”

“Well,” I said to my dad as I tried to block my brother’s retaliatory kicks. “I guess that’ll be OK.”

“Sure,” my dad said, “you’ll learn to play, and before you know it you’ll be sitting up on the stage with the rest of the musicians.”

Wait! Hmmm, I thought, being able to sit up on the stage really close to Joni without incurring the redheaded brothers’ wrath. Well, that may not be so bad after all.

“OK.” I said, trying not to sound too interested.

I guess a couple of weeks went by when one late afternoon my dad came home from work and called for me from the porch.

“Oye Pancho, ven para acá.” (Come here.)

Putting down my homework I got up from the kitchen table and fell in behind my brother, who upon hearing my dad’s voice had speedily left my mother’s side where he’d been hungrily surveying her every move as she cooked up some watery rice with tomatoes and refried beans for dinner.

“We’re coming daddy!” My brother screamed as he flew through the screen door and onto the porch.

“¿Donde está tu hermano?” (Where’s your brother?) My dad asked as Ricky flew into his arms.

“Aquí estoy.” (Here I am.) I said as I came through the door and stepped out on the porch. “What’s going on?”

“Well boy, let’s take a look in the back seat and see what we got.” He responded cheerily as he turned and walked down the stairs toward the car as he swung my brother from one arm to the other.

“Go ahead and open the door, boy.” He instructed cheerfully.

I opened the door and pushed the front seat back up towards the steering wheel. On the back seat sat a black case, in the shape of a guitar.

“Is it a real guitar, dad?” I asked excitedly.

“Lemme see, lemme see!” Ricky yelled as he tried to squirm out from my dad’s arms.

“¡Cálmate Ricardo!” My dad said angrily. “Esa guitarra es para Frankie.” (That’s Frankie’s guitar.)

Reaching into the back and grabbing the handle I pulled out the black cardboard box. The lightness of the case surprised me as I thought that a guitar would be a little heavier than that.

“Let’s get it inside so you can open it and see how you like it. I’m sure you’re gonna be surprised.” My dad said excitedly.

Lugging the case up the stairs and into the house my dad put my brother down and followed me in.

Dashing around me as I pushed through the door, Ricky began yelling as he headed for the kitchen. “MOM! COME QUICK! FRANK GOT A NEW GUITAR AND IT COST A LOT!!”

Well, that certainly set the tone. Hearing my brother’s hysterical yells my mom came out of the kitchen still holding a large dark blue speckled porcelain spoon dripping runny tomato sauce.

“I knew it, Bob! How much did you spend on that stupid thing?” She asked breathlessly, sending thick droplets of reddish sauce airborne as she menaced us with the spoon.

“¡Ay vieja! Why do you have to be like that? I told you I would Jew those bastards down, didn’t I? God….” He stopped the curse short.

Ricky, having started everything magically disappeared by suddenly scurrying out the back door and was now no doubt crawling for safety under the house.

“Aw…. you!” Was the best she could come up with as she spun on her heel and retreated back into the kitchen with my dad following her closely.

Turning my attention to the black case I tuned my parents’ yelling out and looked to see how it opened. The case was made in the shape of a guitar, and after laying it on the floor I saw it had three latches: one on the neck, another midway down and the third on the bottom.

Snapping open the latches I lifted the top up and got my first look at the instrument. A slightly dusty and woody smell drifted up from the green felt-lined case, and lying snugly inside was a mid-size concert style six-string guitar. Lightly tinted blondish wood made up the main body, darkening to deep reddish brown near the round sound hole. An ebony neck sectioned with brass frets supporting six shiny gold strings.

Picking the instrument up with one hand on the neck and the other supporting the body, I noticed how light the guitar felt. In a concealed compartment in the case I found a small cardboard box with three different colored plastic picks in a waxed paper envelope. A colorful length of thick twine was coiled up at the bottom of the box, and after pulling it out and inspecting it, I determined that it was probably meant to be some sort of shoulder strap that attached to the neck and the little button-like attachment at the base of the guitar.

The yelling in the kitchen was subsiding a bit as I put the guitar down carefully and looked back inside the case. There was a large white envelope that contained a thin, but colorful, pamphlet. Pulling it out I saw the bold black title: “Your New CENTURY Guitar Instruction Manual—With Practice Songs And Chords Included!” The sub-title read: “Learn To Play In No Time!”

“Well Pancho? What do you think?” It was my dad asking, and I was a bit startled, as I hadn’t even noticed that the yelling had stopped.

“Oh gee dad, I don’t know what to think. It looks new.” I stuttered.

“Yeah boy, it’s brand new!” He said proudly. “And…” he paused for effect, “it was only twenty dollars! Those Jews wanted thirty-five dollars, since it was new, but I held my ground and ended up paying only twenty. Pretty good, eh boy?”

“Yeah,” I said, still inspecting the little guitar trying to read the label pasted on the inside through the sound hole. “But I thought that a new guitar would cost much more.”

“Well sure!” He added. “If it was a Gibson or a Martin—but that there’s a Century. Not a real famous brand, you know, but it’ll do the job. After all, you’re not a Carlos Montoya yet.” He ended with a chuckle while snapping his fingers and doing a quick flamenco heel stomp.

I had no idea what a Gibson or a Martin was; nor did I have the faintest idea who Carlos Montoya was. I was more an Elvis man during those days.

“Oh, right.” Was all the response I could think of.

Grabbing the guitar from me he sat down on the bed (their bedroom was part of the front room of the house) and cradled the instrument over his crossed leg. With his stiff right index finger he roughly strummed down across the strings, eliciting the most horrendous sound I had never imagined a guitar could make.

“Um, looks like it needs tuning up, eh boy?”

“I guess.” I ventured. “How do you do that?”

“Gotta twist these keys at the top of the neck until each string is tuned and sounds right. Read the book, boy. Read the book! I’m sure that’ll be right in the front.”

I picked the book back up and opened the thin cover. The first page basically congratulated me on my “wise purchase” and explained how I was just hours away from entertaining friends, family, and being the life of every party. The next few pages were devoted to explaining, via diagrams, how to hold the instrument, how to properly strum the strings, what each string’s assigned key was, and—finally—how to properly tune each string. First, it suggested that I tune it to a piano.

“Dad! It says I need to have a piano to tune each string!”

“Bullcrap!” He said. “You shouldn’t have to need a piano for that. Here, let me see the book.”

“Here, look!” I insisted, pointing to the words printed over the diagram of a piano keyboard. “It says to sound the low E on a piano and tighten or loosen the top string until its sound matches the piano’s.” I whined.

Grabbing the book from me he looked at the diagram then turned the page. “Here!” He said. “It says here that if you don’t have access to a piano you can use a ‘Chord-O-Matic’.”

“What’s a Chord-O-Matic?” I asked simply.

“Wait!” He said, as he continued to read. “OK, it looks like it’s a small harmonica; and when you blow in its six different holes the sound that each string should be making is produced. There! See? Don’t need no doggone piano!”

“Dad?” I ventured to ask. “Is there a Chord-O-Matic included with this guitar?”

“Well. Well, I’ll be da…. darned!” He exclaimed running his hand through his hair. “Those crafty little kikes got to me after all!”

“How?”

“Well, when I paid them for the guitar this one Jew-boy asked me if I wanted a Chord-O-Matic to go along with the guitar. Said he could let me have one for a few more dollars. Thinking that they were trying to pull a fast one and try to sell me some other instrument we didn’t need I told him that I already had one. Crap!”

“So how much did he say it would cost?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t ask.” He said a bit dejected now.

Probably attracted by the hideous sound the guitar had made when my dad strummed it, Ricky, knees smeared with dirt, came hopping into the room. “Wow, can I play it?”

“NO!” I exclaimed, and picked up the guitar to put it back in the case. “And, that also means you can’t take it out of the case either.”

Not satisfied with my answer he said, “Dad, can I play it?”

“No mijo. That’s Frankie’s guitar. Besides we need a Chord-O-Matic.”

“What’s a chordamakic?” Ricky asked.

“Nada mijo.” My dad said. “Just don’t touch Frankie’s guitar, OK?”

With that the guitar went back into the case and my dad slid it under the bed.

Yelling from the kitchen while making as much noise as possible while setting the table, my mom said, “OK, enough about that stupid and ugly sounding guitar. It’s time to eat.”

Never having to be called to the table twice, my brother leaped off the floor, leaving a dusting of dried mud flakes on the linoleum, and scurried into the kitchen yelling, “Mamá, I want muchos frijoles!”

My dad made a beeline for the restroom and I slowly got up, still leafing through the pamphlet. After a couple of pages, illustrating how to form chords, I came to the songs section. There were two songs with small chords printed above the music and the lyrics. The first song was “Old Black Joe”, and the second one was, “When The Saints Come Marching In.”

Oh yeah, my days of entertaining friends and family were right around the corner—and just as soon as I mastered those two hit songs I should be a real star.

 

Frankie Joins The Band

 

A few days later my father came home from work and presented me with a brand new Chord-O-Matic with which to tune my guitar. Similar in sound to a harmonica, it was flat and circular, and had six small holes along the outer edge—each corresponding to a particular guitar string note: E, A, D, G, B, E. Blowing into each hole would produce a harmonic sound, and all one had to do then was to tighten or loosen the string’s key until it produced the same sound.

Everyday, after school, (and before my homework), I would spend most of my time tuning and re-tuning the cheap little guitar, as it refused to stay in tune for more than an hour at a time. Between tunings I practiced my finger placements as displayed in the book for the various keys and their related chords. After a few days I found that the fingers on my left hand ached miserably and the tips of my fingers, save my thumb, were excruciatingly sore.

One day in school, as I pondered a tricky question while taking a test in Mr. Krohn’s[1] English class on Shakespearean literature, I was tapping my fingers on the desk when I noticed that the ends of the four fingers on my left hand were becoming…well, hard. Curious, I put my pencil down and began to study the tips of my fingers with tremendous curiosity, marveling at the degree of hardness by rubbing each one in turn with my thumb.

Mr. Krohn, whose eagle eyes never missed anything in his class, abruptly ripped me from my hypnotic digital fascination by quietly sneaking up behind me, and in his best stage projection voice bellowed:

“Mr. DeLeón!! By chance, hast thou written, on the tips of thy fingers, the answers to our noble quiz in microscopic print, and are now trying to decipher such without benefit of thy super-duper magnification tool?”

Snickers and guffaws from the rest of the students, most of who had also been startled by the loud and sudden outburst.

Dropping my hands down to my lap I meekly said, “Uh, no.”

“NO? Dost thou say…NO?” Striking an exaggerated stage-like pose. “I ask thou then: What dost thou seek that can be found at the tips of thy very digits?”

“Uh, nothing.”

“Ah, ignorance is not thy best cloak, sir. Let me examine those stealthy digits, if I may.”

Slowly pulling my hands out from under the desk I presented my fingers for inspection. The room had suddenly become excruciatingly warm.

Taking my left hand he turned it palm up and began to look closely at each of my fingertips—his face all the while twisted into a Sherlock Holmes-like caricature. Eyebrows arched and eyes bulging, he announced, while waving an arm theatrically, “Anon, I see nothing here but that a good nail file wouldn’t make quick work of.”

The class, now realizing that he was putting on a show at my expense, now began to laugh out loud.

“Ah, and these white spots on thy nails tell me you are in dire need of more goodly vitamins, good fellow.” He continued.

Ceremoniously laying my left hand down on my desk and resuming his Mr. Krohn persona he said, “OK now, back to the quiz. And that means everybody.”

Completely humiliated I unsteadily picked up my pencil and struggled to remember where I’d left off. But before completely re-immersing myself into questions dealing with Shakespearean drama, I made a mental note to remind myself to further examine my fingers when I got home.

***

Within a couple of months I had memorized a few basic chords on the guitar and had finally coördinated my right hand and arm to strum the strings in rhythm to the two songs I was trying to learn. Having taken choir in my freshman year I could read a bit of music, but I still needed to actually learn the melody to “Old Black Joe”, having never heard it before, so I had to tolerate my dad’s rendition of the song over and over again until I (and my mom and my brother) had at last committed it to memory.

After dinner on a Friday evening, as we were getting ready to leave for church, my dad asked me if I wanted to bring the guitar to the service.

“What for?” I asked stupidly.

“Well, so you can play it, of course.” He responded.

“Dad! I don’t think anyone at church wants to hear me play the guitar while I sing ‘Old Black Joe’!” I protested.

“No, of course not!” He said, raising his voice a bit. “But you can sit up on the stage and play along with the coritos and the hymns. No one will really hear you since the guitar is not amplified.”

“No, Dad!” I continued to protest. “The only chords I know are D, G, and C. I don’t even know what key they play the coritos in.”

“Well,” he continued, “you can sit up there and just follow along, you know.”

“No, dad. Sorry. I’m just not ready to do that.” I quickly ran into the restroom to avoid any further discussion. A few minutes later I heard my mother call for me to hurry because we were ready to leave.

We arrived at the church, and as usual, my dad took off to find Rev. Villa, while Ricky, my mom and I walked slowly from the parking lot and into the large dining room to have a cookie or two before the service.

I saw Joni talking amicably to Gilbert and spotted her two brothers lurking near the back doors, arms crossed, quietly surveying the crowd and keeping a close eye on their sister. Ignoring them, I busied myself reading last week’s Sunday school attendance statistics posted prominently on a fancy wooden display case hanging on one of the walls. Within a few minutes one of the sisters walked in from the main auditorium and rang a small hand bell signifying the start of the evening service. Finding my mother, and tearing my brother away from the large platter of Mexican cookies, I led them into through the main doors and directly to my most favorite (and visibly strategic) seat.

As Joni took her seat at the piano and began to play an introductory hymn we all stood to welcome the group of church officials as they filed onto the stage from a side door housing administrative offices.   Because of his position as president of the Sociedad de Hermanos, my dad was now required to enter the church with this group and take a seat on the stage. As he stood in front of his chair facing the congregation, clapping and singing along with the hymn he caught my eye and gave me a little wink. Odd.

The hymn ended with a loud chorus of “alleluias” and “gloria a Dios” from the gathered, and we all took our seats. Ricky, sitting to my mother’s right suddenly pointed and said, in an almost too loud voice, “Mamá, what’s Frankie’s guitar doing up on the stage?”

Snapping my head to the right intending to shush him, I froze as the meaning of his question filtered through my brain. My head ricocheted to the left and my eyes stopped and focused on the ridiculously tiny Century guitar sitting on the floor with its neck leaning on an empty chair next to Brother Cantú and his humongous bajo sexto. Looking slowly around, I noticed that everyone in the musician’s area, including Joni, was looking at me. The trumpet twins were rapidly fingering the valves on their shiny horns and grinning obscenely. The pit of my stomach froze and my bowels sent out an urgent SOS.

Regaining what little dignity I had left I turned to my mother and loudly whispered, “Mom, who put my guitar up there?”

Staring blankly ahead she slowly raised her left arm. Uncoiling her index finger and pointing it straight ahead she said, “Mira. O, Mira.”

As I sat glued to my seat and unsure of what to do next Reverend Villa made his entrance. Since this was a Friday night, the entrance wasn’t grand, nor was it made through the main doors in his usual grand manner. Walking in through the same doors that the preceding group of officials had used, he, nonetheless, glided in, in semi-grand fashion—toothy smile plastered on, and enthusiastically waving his large white bible clenched in his left hand.

Passing in front of my dad he stopped and whispered something to him while vigorously shaking his hand. Then they both looked over to where we were seated and smiled. This was not a good sign for me. Continuing on to the pulpit he waited patiently until the congregation’s shouts and ovations finally drifted off.

“¡Buenas noches, y que Dios les bendiga!” This set off another round of holy acclamations.

Raising both arms to quell the crowd he continued. “Tenemos una gran sorpresa esta noche, hermanos. Parece que Dios nos ha presentado con otra bendición en nuestra población humilde.” (We have a great surprise in store for us tonight. It seems that God has presented our humble population with yet another blessing.) Then, looking directly at me, he continued, “Por favor, si nuestro hermanito, Frankie nos pueda hacer el favor de subir al altar con los otros músicos por la Gloria de Dios. ¿Qué dicen hermanos?” (Could our little brother, Frankie, do us the favor of coming up to the altar and joining the other musicians for the glory of God? What do you say brothers?) The whoops and holy acclamations started again and, first a few, then the whole congregation rose to cheer me up to the stage. Even Joni was standing and quietly clapping her hands daintily. Brother Cantú was actually dusting the empty chair next to him with his tent-sized bandana and grinning broadly. Trumpet boys were leering and the drummer twirled his sticks looking a little bored.

I stood slowly, then my knees gave out and I sat back down in a heap.

“¡Ándale, pronto!” My mother said, a little too loudly.

Ricky was saying, “Go, go, go, go!”

Standing up again I very ungracefully edged out of my row and headed for the stage. Passing behind Joni I heard her say, “I can’t wait to hear you play…”

Great. I wondered if she knew how to kick off a cool riff on, “Old Black Joe.”

 

The Benefactor

 

That first night on the stage I spent most of the time vainly trying to figure out what key we were in and where the chord changes were. It didn’t turn out too well. After the service Brother Cantú kindly congratulated me for my courage in even coming up and told me how cute my little guitar was. Reverend Villa made a point of coming over also to say a few encouraging words, assuring me that it would get easier for me as time went on—and I learned more chords. Joni didn’t even bother saying anything. After the last hymn she just closed the piano up and walked off. I thought that maybe I should’ve suggested playing “When The Saints Come Marching In”, but then she would’ve probably played it in some weird key like F, or even B flat. My little book didn’t go past D major.

As I was looking around for my guitar’s case I heard someone behind me call my name. Turning around I saw a man, maybe in his mid-forties, whom I didn’t ever remember seeing before, walking toward me. He stood out a bit because he was dressed really well in a tucked in silky looking sport shirt and dark pleated slacks over glossy dark brown loafers.

“So, first night playing in public, huh?”

“Yup, I don’t think it went really well though.” I responded.

He put his right hand out. “Marcelo Ruiz.”

He was a short man; his face round, dark-skinned, and slightly pockmarked. He had an abundance of wavy black hair, and although his name was Hispanic, he looked more Asian—almond shaped dark hazel eyes, high cheekbones and a short wide nose. The hand he extended was adorned with a large gold ring topped with a shiny black stone. His nails were flawless and although his grip was firm, his hand was soft and warm.

Putting my guitar case down I extended my hand. “Frankie…uh…DeLeón.”

“Sure! You’re Brother DeLeón’s son, right?”

“Yes.” I answered simply.

“I saw you and your family at the other church a few times when you were first visiting, but I never got the chance to introduce myself. Well, it looks like the Lord reached out and saved them while I was gone.”

“Sorry?” I said, a little confused. “You were gone?”

“Yeah, well, I’m a merchant mariner. Do you know what that is?” He asked as he pulled one of the chairs up and sat down.

“No, not really.”

“Well, I work on ships and I’m gone sometimes for two or three—sometimes even six months. It depends on the trip. There’ve been times I’ve been gone for up to eight months.”

“Really?” I put the case down and pulled a chair up. “What do you do, and where do you go?” This was really interesting.

“Oh, I don’t do too much now. Since I’ve got a lot of seniority I usually just make sure the cargo logs match up with the cargo at the destination, as they were when we departed. I’m called a Cargo Master. And, yeah, I’ve really been just about everywhere.”

“That sounds cool.” I was really impressed. “But, do you get to go to church when you’re on a trip?”

“Not usually. See, the Lord saved me a long time ago when I was a young seaman just starting out. But because I travel a lot I don’t get to attend church very often. I just worship the Lord in my heart when I travel. That’s what I promised Him I’d always do, way back when.”

“I see.” I said. “Do you have kids?” I asked curiously.

He broke into a short jolly little laugh waving his well-manicured hand. “Oh no! I’ve never had time for that with my traveling all the time. Quickly turning a bit pensive he added, “ I’m afraid I’ll always be a life-long bachelor. Anyway,” he continued, “enough about me. I really wanted to talk to you about your future plans…I mean, about playing the guitar in church.”

“Um, I don’t really have any plans, really. I’m just learning now, and I’m not really very good. I just know how to play in three keys; so most of the time I spend trying to figure out if the song Joni’s playing is in a key I know. Then, I really didn’t know the chord changes. It’s hard.”

He smiled. “Yeah, I guess it is. But I have to compliment you on your courage to come up here not knowing what you were doing.”

“Well, I didn’t have much of a choice, really.” I confessed. “If I hadn’t, I would’ve heard about it from my parents when we got home. A little embarrassment here is better than being yelled at by my parents at home.”

He chuckled, and patted me on the shoulder. “Would you be willing to, or better said, would you like to take a few lessons?”

“Well, sure.” I answered immediately. “But, we don’t have the money to spend on lessons. My dad already got in trouble with my mom just for buying this guitar for me.”

He smiled, and looking up to where my dad was busy conversing with Reverend Villa and a couple of other brothers, he said, “What if I asked your dad to let me teach you—say every Saturday while I’m in Houston—at your house. I think I could do maybe an hour each week.”

“Well, I think that would probably be great, but really, we don’t have the money to pay you.” I explained.

“No, no. That’s OK. I wouldn’t charge you anything. See, I felt God move me tonight and I think He put the thought into my head when I saw you called up to the stage.”

“Yeah, that was embarrassing. Well, I don’t know.” I said. “For sure you’ll have to ask my dad.”

“Of course!” He said. “I’ll go ask him now.”

Marcelo patted me on the shoulder once again as he got up. “OK, I’ll talk to your dad and let you know.” With a quick smile, he gave me a little wave and got up. “See ya.” He moved to where my dad was still deep in conversation with Villa.

Of course my dad agreed, and the following Saturday Marcelo showed up at our house at one o’clock in the afternoon. He was driving a new two-toned beige Studebaker Commander Coupé that looked as if it had just been driven off the showroom floor, and it attracted more than a few of our neighbors’ attention as he cruised into our dirt front yard.

My mother had gotten me up early that morning and made me spend extra time cleaning the front room. “Next week,” she’d told me, “we’ll be living in a better house with a real living room.”

“Really?” I was surprised. “Where’re we moving to?”

“Oh, just up the street. You know that big house on the corner a block from the bakery?”

“Yup. Some Anglo family lived there. I don’t think they had any kids.”

“Right! OK, your dad made a deal with the owner after the people who were living there moved out, and we’re renting it for almost the same as we’re paying here.” She said proudly.

“Cool.”

“¡Ay! No me digas, ‘cool’. ¡No me gusta esa palabra!” (Don’t say ‘cool’. I don’t like that word.) She said, annoyed.

“OK, mom, but that’s what everyone says.”

“Not to me!”

As promised we began moving out on a Wednesday evening, and by the time we were ready to go to the Friday night service we were all moved in. As a bonus my brother and I got a bedroom to share as our very own. Of course it was a bit sparse, with just a couple of rollaway beds and an old worn out dresser. But it was my first bedroom and I was overjoyed with the privacy it afforded me.

***

As I waited on the porch he waved as he got out and walked to the back of the car and opened the car’s ample trunk pulling out a black guitar case. It looked almost twice the size of mine.

“Hi, Mr. Ruiz.” I said as he walked up the stairs.

“Hey, hi Frank; and please call me Marcelo.” He stretched out his soft skinned right hand.

“OK. Come on in.”

I invited Marcelo to sit in our rickety armchair that mom had thrown a sheet over to cover the worn spots, and I pulled up one of our kitchen chairs.

Laying his guitar case on the floor he popped the four latches and opened it up. Inside lay the most beautiful guitar I had ever seen. Deep brown body that faded to almost black with a beautiful sunburst center, it shone like it had been layered in deep acrylic paint and hand polished for days. As he gently raised it out from the case I looked at the brand: Gibson.

“Wow, that’s really beautiful.” I said admiringly.

“Oh, well she’s a bit old. It’s a model L00, flat top. Want to hold it?”

I wasn’t even sure how to properly hold my little Century so I wasn’t about to take a chance on his Gibson.

“Oh no.” I gasped. “Maybe later when I get better at playing.”

“OK, let’s start with the basics first.”

That first lesson lasted a little over an hour and not once did we even attempt to play either guitar. Instead, he coached me on the proper way to sit or stand with the guitar; tune, hold, strum the instrument, and how to hold the pick. I learned that there were several types of picks, and many different thicknesses—each affecting the sound and feel of the strings.

For homework he had me memorize the key that each string was in, and the three-chord progression for each major key. “Next week,” he promised, “I’ll introduce you to the associated minor chords.”

For the next three months Marcelo visited and tutored me on the guitar. A few times he let me practice on his beautiful Gibson, but most of the time I had to struggle on my little Century. I was amazed at the difference in the feel of the two different guitars. While I had to exert heavy pressure on the strings of my guitar to press them into the fret board to produce the desired note, it seemed that I just barely touched the strings on the Gibson to make the same sound.

During this time I continued to play along with the church’s musicians on the stage. I quickly got over my stage fright as I gained more confidence in my ability to follow along and even anticipate the keys and chord changes that each hymn and little coritos required. Although I remained unplugged (no amplifier) I did my very best to make myself heard over the other instruments.

During one of our lessons Marcelo brought with him a cardboard cutout of a piano keyboard, and with that he taught me how to tune my guitar to the church’s piano before the service started. It wasn’t long before I was experimenting with the piano—forming chords that I was familiar with on the guitar with the piano keyboard. Plus, I found that with my newly developing talent I was scoring a bit more face time with Joni. Although her demeanor towards me began to warm up a bit, she continued to remain strangely aloof—keeping our conversations centered mainly on musical subjects.

Marcelo usually only attended the Sunday and Friday services, so each Saturday, he would review my performance from the week before, offering up hints and suggestions to make my accompaniments more effective. After each lesson he would spend a little time telling me about his past voyages aboard ship and describing the various countries he had visited. After a while I began to dream about someday being able to travel to foreign lands and learning about new cultures. But I knew I didn’t want to do it from a boat. Sailing was never my favorite pastime. I would have to think about some other way.

Finally, one Saturday he let me play the Gibson for most of the lesson. I was getting pretty good at executing chord changes smoothly without having to pause my strumming, but when I played his guitar it seemed as if I didn’t even have to think about the chords. After the lesson, and as I was putting away my little guitar he asked me how I liked playing the Gibson.

“Oh, I really love it!” I answered. “The finger action is so smooth that I hardly have to exert any finger pressure to get a clean chord sound.”

“Well, that’s the mark of a well-made guitar, you know.” He said. “Yours will eventually become harder and harder to sound out chords because the neck is all wood, and the tension of the strings will warp it, as it has no neck support built-in. The Gibson has a metal rod running through the neck to keep it from warping—so it’ll stay true forever.”

“Wow!” I exclaimed. “Maybe someday when I’m older and have a job I’ll be able to buy one of these for myself. Until then, I’ll just have to take good care of my little cheap one.”

He looked at me kindly and put his hand on my shoulder. “You know, I wanted to tell you sooner but I thought I’d just wait until today.”

“Tell me what?”

“I just got a new marine assignment, so I’ll be leaving next Thursday.” He said, half smiling.

“Oh…” Was all I could think of to say.

“Can you guess where I’m going?”

“No, I don’t have the slightest idea.”

“Well,” he started, “the ship I signed up with will be leaving Galveston, and we’ll head south until we get to the Panama Canal.”

“Oh yeah,” I said knowingly. “We studied that in my history class last year.”

“OK, then we’ll sail west and north docking in San Pedro, California, for a couple of days to pick up cargo. Afterwards, we’ll sail to Hawaii, then visit several Asian ports of call.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“It’ll be about six months, maybe more. Depends on the weather.” He answered.

“That long, huh?”

“Yeah, so while I’m gone I expect you to continue improving on your guitar playing. You have all the basics down now, so all you need now is a lot of practice.”

“OK, I’ll try.” I said, a little disappointed now that I realized I wouldn’t have a personal instructor.

He got up and asked, “Can you get your mom and dad? I want to say bye to them.”

“Sure,” I responded. “I think dad’s outside working on the car and mom should be in the kitchen.” Although our new rental was old, it was roomier than our old house; and someone sitting in the living room couldn’t just turn around and see the kitchen.

“OK.” Marcelo said. “I’ll pack up while you go and get them.”

I ran out the front door and found my dad, as expected, working on the car that my uncle Frank had sold to him just before he left for California. So far it was the best car we’d ever had: a 1955 Ford Fairlane—two-tone powder puff blue and white.

“Dad, Marcelo’s ready to leave but he wants to say goodbye before he goes.”

My dad, in his usual white “wife-beater” undershirt and khaki pants, looked up from under the hood. “Say bye to him for me, I’m busy.”

“No dad!” I said, a little too aggressively. “He’s leaving for about six months on a trip, so you have to come say goodbye now!”

He stepped back from the car, wrench in hand. “Six months? Where’n the devil’s he going—the moon?”

“Funny dad. No, he’s going on one of his trips—somewhere farther west than even Hawaii.”

“Hawaii? OK, let me clean my hands and I’ll be right in.”

I ran up the back stairs through the back door that opened up into the kitchen. Mom was rolling out some of her fat tortillas.

“Mom, come say bye to Marcelo. He’s leaving and won’t be back for about six months.”

“¿Y tu papá? ¿Donde está?” (And your father? Where is he?)

“He’s coming, but he’ll probably walk around the house and go in through the front door.”

“Bueno. Allí vengo.” (All right, I’m coming.) She grabbed a wash cloth to wipe the sticky dough off her hands.

I quickly ran back through the small dining room (yes, we even had one of those now) and into the front living room.

“They’re coming, Marcelo.”

“Good.” He said.

He had packed up his Gibson and had put the case on the chair.

“So now I need to tell you something and ask you for a big favor.” He said seriously. “First, when I return I expect to see you in church playing the guitar without having to look at your left hand. Next, you have a good voice, so I would like for you to practice some hymns that you can sing while accompanying yourself. When you think you’re good enough I want you to sing that hymn on a Sunday night in church during the special hymns part of the service. Can you do that for me?”

“Gosh, I don’t know. I guess.” I said, a little nervous.

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but I’m going to give you something that should help.” He reached over and picked up the Gibson in the case and held it out to me.

“She’s yours to practice on, to play, and to take care of. At least until I get back.”

My eyes began to burn a little and suddenly I got a little lump in my throat.

“Mr. Ruiz…” I stammered.

“Marcelo.”

“Marcelo, I, I, can’t…I, don’t know..”

“Sure you do.”

Mom and dad came into the room, both wiping their hands for different reasons.

“Ah, buenas tardes hermanos.” Marcelo said, holding his hand out for my dad to shake.

“Brother, I hear you’re going away on a trip?” My dad said, pumping Marcelo’s hand.

“Yes. Have to get back to work. But I’m leaving my guitar with Frankie. I hope you approve.”

Both of my parents just kind of stood there with blank looks on their faces.

Finally, my dad said, “Hermano Ruiz, that’s a really expensive instrument and I wouldn’t want him to damage it while you’re gone.”

“He won’t—of that I’m sure. I think he loves that guitar more than I do. Besides, he’s got some, well, homework…to take care of while I’m gone.”

“¿Si?” My mother managed to say.

“Yes.” Marcelo said. “I’ll let him tell you about it later. Now, I have to get a couple of other things out of the car. Would you excuse me?”

He turned and walked out the front door. The three of us just walked slowly and watched as he opened his trunk.

“Frankie!” Marcelo called out. “Come out here and give me a hand.”

I ran down the steps and around to the back of his car. From the trunk he pulled out and handed me a small amplifier, then he reached in and took out a small cardboard box.

“This is an electrical pick-up that you’ll install over the sound hole. I’ve already had a receptacle installed on the guitar where you can plug in the amplifier. It’s small, but I think it’ll help you make yourself heard when you play in church. With these you’ll be able to be heard over the trumpets and the rest of the musicians—especially brother Cantú and his big bass guitar.

I was stunned, and just couldn’t find the right words to say. So, I just stood there holding the little box containing the pickup and unashamedly cried a little. Marcelo grabbed me by the shoulders, pulled me close and hugged me. I believe this was the first time ever that I’d been hugged by another male.

“Just take good care of her until I come back—and make me proud.” He said as he stepped back with his hands still on my shoulders.

I glanced up at my parents, who were still standing on the porch—my father with his arms crossed and wearing a strained little smile, and my mother just looking confused. Marcelo patted me heavily on the back and walked slowly up to the driver’s door.

“¡Adios hermanos! Cuídenlo.” (Take care of him.) He said to my parents—waving as he got into his car.

One final wave as he pulled away from our house.

As I sadly waved back I had no way of knowing that it would be the last time that I, or anyone else, would ever again see Marcelo Ruiz.


 

[1] Mr. Charles Krohn left Jefferson Davis Senior High School a few years later and went on to become a very successful actor. His film credits include:  Futureworld (1976), Sugar Hill (1974), The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training (1977), Red Alert (TV Movie, 1977), and Adam: His Song Continues (TV Movie,1986). He and his wife are major benefactors at the Alley Theater in Houston, and until lately starred in, and directed, the theater’s production of Charles Dickens’, A Christmas Carol. He was last employed as Professor of English at St. Thomas University, in Houston, Texas.

From Sinners To Saints…Part III

From Sinners To Saints…Part III

 

A Hint of Things to Come

 

After returning home from our having lunch at the Mexican restaurant I quickly changed clothes and went out into our little back yard to sit quietly on the steps leading out from the back door.  I was trying to decide if I had enough time to do my book report, complete twenty-five math problems, and work on my history assignment in the two hours I had before having to get ready to leave again, when my mother came out and asked if I wanted a baloney sandwich before getting ready for the evening service.

“No, I’m still not hungry.”

“¿Bueno, entonces quieres un vaso de poly-pop?  Tu hermano is having one.”  (Do you want a glass of Kool-Aid?  Your brother is….) My mother always called Kool-Aid, “poly-pop; and no, I don’t know why.

“Sí.  I guess.”  I responded, a little dejected.  “Mom, I didn’t do any homework on Saturday thinking that I could do it on Sunday night.  Now I’ll have to stay up all night to get it done and probably fall asleep in school tomorrow.  Why do we have to go back to church tonight?”

“Look,” She said pointing her finger at me and lowering her voice almost to a whisper.  “All I know is that your father is home this weekend, and that I owe to that little church and those people; especially el Reverendo Villa.  So don’t go ruining this by making your father angry.  He was really mad at you in the car, and I was afraid he was just going to drop us off and go out drinking.”

“So, now it’s my fault he drinks?”  I responded, matching her whisper.

“No, but I don’t want anything to make him angry enough to take off like he likes to do.”

I didn’t know what else I could say to her so I just shrugged and said, “Fine.  What time do we have to leave?”

“No se mijo, but I think maybe around six.”

Well, I thought, that left me with about ninety minutes to see how much of the book report I could punch out.

I heard the screen door close behind me and listened as my mom’s shuffling steps retreated back into the house.  “¿Oye viejo!”  She yelled.  “You want some coffee?  I can make some for you.”

“Yeah!”  He yelled back from the front room of the house.  “Bring it out to me in the front yard.  I want to take a look at the parking brake on the car before we have to go.”

Great, I thought.  Maybe he’ll dick up the car and we won’t be going anywhere after all.

Not being in the mood to get into my books right then I decided to sit there and think things over.  I had noticed a slight change in my father’s attitude in the last couple of days, and for sure he hadn’t gone on one of his usual weekend benders, but he was still smoking his normal two to three packs of Camels every day, so I couldn’t help but wonder just how long he’d hold out before he succumbed to whatever pleasure he derived from drinking down those bottles of Four Roses Whiskey straight—without the benefit of a glass.

He had displayed an unusually benevolent temperament towards my mother since Friday; actually conversing with her for more than just a few minutes, and not baiting her into one of their knockdown drag-out arguments.  But his almost violent reaction to me earlier in the car had taken me by complete surprise.  Usually he never had much to do with me or Ricky, as far as discipline was concerned—that was usually my mother’s specialty; and for the most part he was always civil and liked to joke with us more than anything else.  He also never seemed too concerned with my performance in school—never asking me anything about my course loads or even what subjects I was taking.  While my mother carefully looked over my report cards, scrutinizing every detail and asking why a “B” was not an “A”, and…“that conduct grade, it should be higher…” he would just casually glance at the card and quickly scrawl his signature on the back.

I had never been afraid of my father in the same way as I was of my mother.  Getting on her bad side usually meant that there’d be hair pulling, pinching, slapping, and most of all, yelling.  This, by the way, went on all the way through my teenage years but stopped abruptly after I graduated from high school and started working.

For the most part my father had never really displayed a “bad side” to me; so, after an episode of having been disciplined (whipped) by my mother, it was normal for me to tearfully protest my “abuse” to him whenever he came home from work.  After hearing me out he would usually just pat me on the head, or (less frequently) give me a little hug and tell me he’d have a talk with her.  Those small discussions always made me feel better, probably because I was just looking for some sympathy, but mostly because I actually thought he’d intercede on my behalf and read my mother the riot act.  In reality he was just paying me lip service and staying above the fray.

All in all though, and until I left home in December of 1960, my father and I got along pretty well—particularly before times got hard with the medical bills and my mom’s unplanned, and financially devastating, pregnancy.  After my brother was born and my mother came down with kidney stones our life went downhill fast, and pretty much stayed there.

Well before those events came to pass there were two particular experiences involving me and my dad that will forever stand out in my memory.  The first, pleasant and prophetic; the other, frightening and tragic.  So for just a little bit now, and before I continue detailing what transpired that Sunday afternoon and evening, I’d like to digress and revisit those experiences; both of which would end up having a profound effect on me and my future.

Reflections

The Airport

Hobby Airport, located south of the Houston Metro area off the Old Galveston Road (now I45) and Telephone Road, was the only major airport that served my hometown for many years before the Intercontinental Airport (now George Bush Intercontinental Airport) was built in 1957.

One day, probably around 1949, my parents and I were in our car returning from a day-long fishing trip at the free piers at Galveston Island when I happened to see an airplane flying very low in the sky.

“Daddy, daddy, look at that airplane!”  I yelled excitedly from the back seat.  “Where’s he going?  Is he going to crash?”  I quickly scooted from the right side of the backseat to the left to keep the rapidly descending plane in sight.

“No mijo,” my dad responded as he craned his neck towards the windshield to find the plane.  “He’s probably just landing at the airport over there.”  He pointed out the left window.

“An airport?  Is there an airport over there?  Is it close?  Can we go see?  Please!”

“Yeah, it’s the Hobby Airport, but I don’t know if we have time to go over there.”

“Please daddy?  Please!”  I begged.

He looked at my mom and shrugged his shoulders.  “What do you think, vieja?  We can turn left here on Telephone Road and drive by the airport for a little while.  It’s still early and  I think they have a little parking area where we can stop and watch the planes take off and land.”

“Oh, I don’t care.”  Mom said off-handedly.  “As long as we don’t stay too long…I have to go to the bathroom soon.”

“OK.”  He said.  “There’s a Gulf station about a block from the airport.  We can stop there and while you go to the rest room I’ll get us all a Coke.  Then we can park for a little while and watch the planes.  What do  you think, Pancho?”

“Oh yeah!”  I yelled with glee.  “And are we really all getting a Coke?”

“Sure.”  He said, as his eyes smiled at me in the rearview mirror.

And so it was that on day my fascination with airplanes, and aviation in general, began. Practically every weekend after that day, until the drinking finally and permanently ended our trips, I would beg my father to take me to the Hobby Airport where I would sit on one of our old car’s front powder puff fenders and dream of someday piloting one of those beautifully graceful flying machines.  I would especially love to see TWA’s red and white Super Connie aircraft, twin tails gleaming in the sun, taxi to the end of the runway and rev up its four powerful piston engines to full take-off power.  The resulting turbulent prop wash would wildly whip the tall grass between the end of the runway and the airport boundary fence, causing instant chaos and general panic among the large, and heretofore unseen, resident jackrabbit population hiding deep in their burrows.  I would giggle with glee as I watched them leap here and there, scattering wildly in every direction trying to escape the ear-splitting noise coming from the plane’s four engines, and the powerful blast of blustery air generated by the Connie’s large silver propellers.  My dad would hang on to his hat and hug me tight—both of us laughing as we watched the graceful giant slowly start its take-off roll, and finally lift off majestically into the sky.

One day, after a particularly long interval between take offs and landings, I noticed a large white oddly shaped building halfway down, and to the right, of the runway. “Dad!” I called while pointing straight ahead.  “What’s that white funny looking building over there?  It looks like an ice cream cone but I can see people inside the top part where the green glass is.”

“Oh, that?  That’s the airport tower.”

“What’s it for?”  I wondered out loud.

“Well,” he explained. “The people that work inside talk to the airplanes and tell the pilots when they can take off or when they can land.”

“Wow!”  I exclaimed.  I was absolutely amazed.  “Daddy, I think the job those men do has to be more important than the pilots flying the airplanes, don’t you think?  Gee, they must be really smart to be able to do that.”

“Well,” He said, rubbing his chin.  “I’m sure they have to have a lot of training to be allowed to make those kind of decisions, I guess.  You know, a pilot is responsible for his airplane and all of his passengers, but those guys in the tower are responsible for all of the airplanes in and around the airport.”

“Even when they’re in the air?”  I asked breathlessly.

“Yes, I think so, but I’m not sure.  I know they talk to the planes on special radios.”

“Wow!”  I exclaimed, my eyes now glued on the tiny figures moving around behind the green windows.  “I think when I grow up that’s what I’d like to do!  Do you think you can send me to that kind of school when I grow up, daddy?”

He chuckled deeply and gave me a noogie.  “Well, let’s get you through high school first and then we can see if you still want to do that.”

“Oh, I know I will.  I just know it.”

“Well, mijo we’ll see.”  And then he picked me up and set me down on his lap as he slid up and took my place on the fender.  I rested my chin on his arm and held on tightly as he hugged me snugly and securely.  I stared at that building for a long time trying to see if I could make out what exactly the men inside were doing.  Finally, my dad said, “Mira mijito, here comes one from behind us ready to land.”

I was so very excited and couldn’t wait to get home to tell Jerry all about the airport tower that I had seen, and the smart people that talked to airplanes.  I didn’t think I’d tell mom because she’d just say I was being silly.  She usually said that when she didn’t understand something I was trying to explain.

It was many years later, and long after I earned my pilot’s license, and been hired by the Federal Aviation Administration as an air traffic controller, that the memory of that long lost day was finally recalled.  Now, in retrospect, I realize that that occasion was probably my closest and warmest dad and son experience.  There were so very few.

Of course there were other good times too—especially when he was still coming home on Fridays.  That’s when he’d ask me if I’d like to go fishing with him early the next day.  “Sure!”  I would always say, knowing that he’d be waking me up very early on Saturday—somewhere between two and three o’clock—so that we’d get to the free pier on Galveston Island before anyone else.  “That way”, he’d explain, “we’ll get the ‘best’ spot…” ensuring our success in landing a record haul fish.

Sadly, and more often than not, we’d end up with just a few pitiful looking catfish (he called them “hard-heads”) or a couple of sunfish, or perch that we’d end up throwing away before we’d leave for the long drive home.  Worse, the entire day was spent baiting, casting, and mostly reeling in a wet and empty hook.  There was very little conversation between us, except maybe for a few repetitive words or phrases such as: “Almost had him…” “Watch your head, I’m casting out…” “I’m moving over there…” “Not hitting very well today…”

The long day would end with me dozing off in the back seat on the way home, my hands stinking of shrimp and squid (bait), and gently rubbing my red itchy sunburned shoulders.  Sometimes, but not very often,  we’d make a stop at “Prince’s Drive Inn” on Old Galveston Road, and order up some deep fried jumbo shrimp and fries, and a vanilla malt.  I’d always feel odd eating what I’d been sticking on hooks all day long.

Bill’s Joint

By far, the strangest experience that I ever had with my dad occurred when I was about seven or eight, and it didn’t have anything to do with fishing or airplanes.

I was outside playing in my favorite cool spot under the house, when I heard my mother yelling for me to come in the house.  Thinking that I had probably done something wrong I took my time crawling out, slowly walking up the back stairs and easing quietly through the screen door.  As I padded through the kitchen in my bare feet I saw my dad standing near the front door with my mother holding on to his left arm.  They were arguing.

Trying to tug away from her grip he was saying, “¡Te digo, vieja, que voy a volver en unos cuantos minutos!”  (I’m telling you, old lady, I’ll be back in a few minutes.) “I’m just going to go around the corner, for God’s sake!”

Agitated, she looked directly at him and said, “No Bob!  Whenever you say that I don’t see you for two or three days!  You are not doing this to me today!  If you really are just running an errand “around the corner” you won’t mind taking Frankie with you, now will you?”

“NO!  I will not take him with me!”  He yelled back at her.  “I won’t, goddammit!”

“I swear to God Bob, if you don’t take him with you, then when you finally decide to come home you’ll find us gone, and you’ll never see us again!”

Hearing this surprised and scared me at the same time.  First, I hadn’t heard my mother ever use this tone of voice ever, half crying and half screaming; but more than that, it didn’t sound like a threat—more like a promise.  The thought of leaving home and never seeing my dad again suddenly made me profoundly sad.

“God dammit vieja, where in the hell would you go anyway?”  He asked angrily, still trying to pull away.

Now crying full force, “Bueno, you just go, desgraciado! (damned you.)  But when you get home you’ll see!  I’ll…we’ll be gone and you’ll never find us!  Never!!  I’ll find a way to get as far as I possibly can from you—and me and Frankie will never be seen again!”

Now I really started to worry.  She didn’t sound like she was kidding!

“Shit!”  He spat.  Looking out toward the car with a wistful look then turning back toward her he said, “Fine, Godammit!  But, don’t think I’m taking him because your stupid threat scared me!  I’m doing it to stop you from screaming your ass off for all the fucking neighbors to hear!”

Ripping his arm away from her he yelled over her head, “¡Pancho!  ¡Vente, vamonos!” (Come on, let’s go!)

I tentatively moved towards the door and my mother gently pushed me in the direction of the porch.  “Ándale mijo, vete.” (Go ahead son, go.)

Glaring at my dad, and between clenched teeth, she hissed, “Listen you!  If anything happens to him, I swear to almighty God that I will do my best to kill you, if it’s the last thing I ever do!”  For maximum effect, she shook her left fist at him.

Hearing that, I started to think that maybe the safest choice for me was to stay just where I was.  But as I began to open my mouth to voice my opinion, my dad said, “¡Vieja estupida!  Where do you think I’m going to take him?  He’s my son too, pendeja, (idiot (but much worse)), and I know how to take care of him, for Christ’s sake you idiot!  And, you better stop threatening me, vieja loca!”

Reaching for my arm he abruptly yanked me away from my mother’s side, and before I knew what was happening I was being dragged down the stairs and out to the car.

“Just mark my words, Bob—JUST MARK MY WORDS!”  She yelled at the top of her lungs as she stood on the porch, arms folded and head cocked sideways with a look on her face that really scared me.

Pushing me into the front seat, my dad slid in and started the car while his left leg was still hanging out over the running board.  “God, your mother is so full of shit!  You know what I mean?”  I wasn’t so sure I knew what he meant, but I kept quiet and just shrugged.  The old Dodge shook as the engine caught.  He slammed the floor shifter into reverse and did a 180 degree backwards turn in the front yard.

The momentum of the car sort of rolled me over the seat and I ended up with my knees on the floorboard facing the back of the front seat.

“God damn stupid ass woman!”  He whispered loudly to himself, jamming the shifter into first gear while popping the clutch and spinning the steering wheel.

I flew up onto the seat and grabbed the arm rest on the door.

Daring a quick at him I saw his raw anger.  Thinking I might want to get on his good side I asked, “Dad, can I shift the gears?”  He would let me do that sometimes when he was in a really good mood.  This may have not been a good time to ask.

“Just stay over here and be fuc…, be quiet until we’re far away from that maniac.”

Bumping out onto House Street I hung on to the armrest to keep from sliding back onto the floor.  Looking up at my dad I saw that instead of looking out the windshield his eyes were glued to the rearview mirror.

Making a left turn onto Liberty Road we headed toward Lockwood Boulevard.  “Dad?  Where we going?”

“Around the corner.”

Well, by my count we’d already done that a couple of times.  “No, really—where we going?”

“You know, you ask too many questions, dammit boy!”

“Oh, OK.  Can I shift the gears now?”

“Huh?  Oh, yeah, but not just now.  Lemme get out of this traffic and get to the light”

“Daddy!  I know that!  We have to stop, and then get ready to go, for the gears to be shifted.  So, where we going?”

“Lockwood, Navigation, Telephone Road, and then McCarthy Road.  Now, do you know where any of those streets are?”  Suddenly he sounded playful and his face looked a bit more relaxed.

“We’re on Lockwood now!”  I said, as I kneeled on the front seat so I could look out the windshield.  “And, I know there’s a stop light soon; so when we get there I’ll get to shift the gears.  Right?”

“We’ll see.”

Stopping at the light he looked over to me.  “Alright boy, let’s see what’cha got.”

I slid over and grabbed the floor shifter with both hands trying to remember each gear’s position on the “H” pattern that my dad had taught me.

A few stop lights later, and a few pounds of ground out gears (his clutch work and my gear shifting were a little out of sync), and we cruised out onto McCarthy Road.

From what I remember, this street was pretty much on the outskirts of town on the southeast side of Houston, and was mostly populated with gas stations, trucker restaurants, motels, and—oh yes—a bunch of brightly lit bars and clubs.

The brilliant array of red, blue, green and white flashing neon signs were dazzling.  The “Dew Drop Inn”, “Mac’s Drive-In Lounge”, “Tina’s Club” (Ladies Always Welcome), “Butch & Bob’s” (Best Burgers N’Beer N’Town), was like eye candy to my young eyes.  Soon I had forgotten all about the gearshift and had moved over to the passenger side and cranked the window open to try to read as many of the signs as I could.  The cool evening air felt great and I opened my mouth wide to see if the wind would inflate my cheeks.

“Get your head back in the car, Frank!  Jesus!”

I pulled my head back in but kept my right hand out flying it up and down while making nasally airplane noises.

“Hey daddy!  Oh, look!  There’re so many nice stores here.  They’re so lit up!”

“Well,” He chuckled.  “I don’t know how nice those…uh, stores are Pancho.  Know what I mean?”

No, I didn’t.  “Uh-huh.”

Slowing down we made a left turn across traffic and pulled into a small gravel lot where a small white wooden frame building sat.  There were a few cars pulled up to the front of the structure, and my dad picked a place between two cars almost facing the front door.

“BILLS JOINT.” This, written in large black block letters on a swinging white metal sign, hanging on a rusty metal rod over the door and guarded on either side by two small flood lights.  No neon here, and I was a little disappointed that he’d picked this dull place over all the other better ones.

There were two little windows on either side of two large screen doors, hung slightly askew, protecting matching solid white wooden doors.  Three slightly off-center concrete steps led from the white dirt lot up to the doors.  Right away I didn’t like the place because it looked old, cheap, and plain.

“What’re we doing here, daddy?”

“Well, I gotta go see a man about a fire.  Get it?”

“No.”

“Jesus.  OK, I’m going in to talk to someone, and I won’t be long.  So you’re gonna wait here—play with the gear shift if you want—then when I come out we’ll go home.  You want me to bring you out a Coke?”

The Coke comment came out just as I was getting ready to protest.

“Really?  A Coke?  Sure!  Can I go in and get it with you?”

“No Pancho, this is no place for little boys.  You wait here and I’ll be out with the Coke in a little bit.”

“Daddy?”

“What?”

“Are you bringing me a bottle of Coke?”

“Of course!  Why?”

“Well,” I put on my ‘matter of fact’ voice and crossed my arms, business-like.  “If it’s in a bottle then I’ll have to drink it here while you wait, because if you don’t return the bottle right away you won’t get back the nickel deposit.”

“Jesus Christ!  You’re just like your mother!  Mira Pancho, I’m buying you a Coke—AND I’ll pay the deposit so you can drink it on the way home.  Capice?”

“Well then, that’s really good.  Because then tomorrow I can take the empty bottle to Henry’s store and he’ll pay me back a nickel for the deposit!  Then I’ll have a nickel to spend there!  Oh, unless you want it back because you paid, uh…Bill (as I looked at the sign) a nickel.”

“OK, Frankie.  I’m done with the talking.  Now I’m going in and you’re staying here until I come out.  OK?”

“Sure.  Uh, Daddy?”

“What, for Christ sake?” He turned as he was getting out.

“Please don’t forget to bring me my Coke.”

“Jesus!”

He closed the door a little harder than usual and walked around the front of the car heading for the concrete stairs.  Swinging open the screen doors he pushed open one of the large wooden doors and started in.  Just before disappearing into the darkness of “Bill’s Joint”, he quickly turned and pointed his finger at me.  (Stay there!)

Spinning away from me he pulled the door closed behind him, and just before it completely closed I heard:  “Jambalaya, Crawfish Pie-a, Me-oh-my-o, for tonight I’m……”

The time ticked by slowly as I sat in the hot car and entertained myself, first with the floor shifter, then by spinning the dial on the non-working radio on the dash, and acting out dramatic mini-scenes when the dial landed on certain frequencies:  (In my professional radio announcer voice) “Now the news! Frankie won the most famous car race ever by shifting gears faster than anyone else–EVER!”—“In sports, Frankie’s team beat everyone in the world by hitting one hundred homeruns in their game against the very much hated New York Yankees!”—“Today the FBI arrested a big villain with the help of Special Agent Frankie, who after popping him in the nose, held him down, with the help of his best friend Jerry, until the local cops showed up!”—And on, and on.

Yeah, OK.  I was a little light on reality, but I did have a great imagination.

My mind games were abruptly interrupted when a big black car pulled off of McCarthy and slowly rolled up and parked next to ours.  Leaving the radio I turned my attention to the driver, who after shutting off the engine, just sat there for a while, staring straight ahead at the white building with the slowly swinging white metal sign.  With my knees on the seat and chin resting on the open window of our car I wondered why the man was just sitting there, doing nothing.

He looked big, bigger than my father, broad shoulders and a large round face, and he was wearing a gray felt hat pulled partially down over his eyes.  Sweat was running down the side of his face, and every once in a while he’d wipe his brows with a large pudgy hand.  His stare never wavered.

Finally he pushed open the door and stepped out.  Looking at me for the first time, our eyes met, and with my chin resting on the open car window, I smiled, wiggling the fingers on my right hand, saying hello.

He paused momentarily, eyes still locked on mine; then, without a word he slammed the car door and quickly looked away.   Pulling his hat down further over his eyes he walked briskly to the back of his car.  Once there, he looked slowly around, then bent down and opened the trunk.

Straining my neck, and hanging my arm out, I tried to see what he was doing.  No luck.  I could barely see his rump swaying slightly as he appeared to be struggling with something heavy at first, and then straightening up while stuffing something into his pants pockets.

When he pulled back and reached up to slam the trunk lid with his right hand I could see that hanging off his left arm was a long black rifle.  Walking between our car and his I saw that his pockets were bulging and noticed that his hat was gone.  He slowed, turning and glancing at me curiously, then deliberately walked towards the bar—holding the long black gun low and level with the ground.

He took the first step up to the screen door, stopped and rotated the weapon up into a vertical position.  Opening the screen door with his right hand he kicked the wooden door open and rushed in to the blackness of the bar.

I heard:  “…cheating heart, will tell on you…I cried and cried, the whole night through…”  “BOOM, BOOM!!”  My ears rung and my mind stopped.

“…HOLY SHI…”, a scream from inside the bar…“BOOM, BOOM!!”  These louder, and closer together.

I dropped to the floor of the car, but not knowing exactly why I did.  “CRACK, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK!!!”  Then…nothing but silence for what seemed like a very long time.  I don’t recall breathing.

A rush of cool air flooded into the car and I looked up as my dad flew in and pushed the button that started the car.  With his door still open and throwing the floor shifter into reverse he yelled,   “STAY DOWN FRANKIE, STAY DOWN!!!”

The engine caught and I was thrown forward onto the front of the floorboard and under the dash as I felt the car violently sliding backward—the engine screaming.  Shifting, steering wheel spinning wildly, the car lurched forward and I was again thrown, this time onto the bottom of the front seat.

“GODAMMIT, GODAMMIT, GODAMMIT!”  My father shouted in a voice that I’d never heard before.

“Daddy?”

“SHUT UP, GODAMMIT!  STAY DOWN!!  SHUT UP!!  SHUT UP!!”

I wanted to cry.  I wanted to pee.  I was scared.  I wondered where my Coke was.

Bouncing savagely, the car’s back wheels spinning, I smelled burnt oil and rubber.

Starting to get a little dizzy, I whispered loudly, “Daddy, can I get up on the seat now?  Please?”  I chanced a look up to my father.  Mouth open, eyes darting wildly from the windshield to the rearview mirror, he said, “NO!  Dammit, hold on, I’ll tell you when to get up!”

“OK.”  I closed my eyes, and I felt a warm bitter taste of bile at the back of my tongue.  Curled up on the hot rubber floorboard under the glove compartment I tried not to breathe in the acrid smell of grease and hot oil seeping in through the firewall.  The inside of my head spun crazily and I thought I would surely have to throw up soon.

After an eternity of lying on the floor holding back the bubble of vomit wanting to explode from deep in my throat, I heard my father say, “OK Pancho, you can get up on the seat now.”  Grabbing for the frayed arm rest on the passenger side door I drunkenly pulled myself up onto the worn felt seat.  A cool rivulet of sweat ran down my neck, soaking into the collar of my shirt as I pushed my back into the seat.  I slowly turned to look at my dad.

His driving had settled back down to normal and I saw that we were in a part of town I didn’t recognize.  “Daddy,” I was finally able to say without fear of gagging, “where are we?  What happened?  Are we going home now?”

“Settle down boy.  We’re on our way home now.”

“What happened?  I heard some really loud noises coming from the building.  What were those?”

“Nothing, they were nothing.  Now stop asking questions.”

“OK.”  I wanted to ask a lot more questions, but I sort of knew there would be no answers.

“Listen!”  He suddenly blurted out.  “When we get home don’t tell your mother anything—you hear me?  NOTHING!!”  His eyes were squeezed down to sharp slits as he glared at me, and I noted how terribly pale his face was.

“OK.  But can I at least tell her about the loud booms I heard?”

“NO!!  Godammit!!  What did I just say?”

“Don’t tell her nothing?”

“NOTHING!”

“OK.”  My stomach was still queasy.  “Daddy, can I get a Coke?”

A long pause, then he finally said, “OK, we’ll stop at a drug store before we get home and I’ll get you a Coke, and maybe some peanuts.  Would you like that?”

“Sure.  But I’d rather have Cracker Jacks; they have prizes in the box.  Oh, and can we go to Mobley’s for them?”

“Fine, Cracker Jacks!  Just remember not to say anything to your Mom.”

“I’ll remember.  But what will I say if she asks what we did?”

He wrinkled his brow and scratched his head; then he looked down at the floor then craned his neck to look at the back seat.  “Shit.  Where’s my hat?”

“I don’t know.” I responded, not really concerned about his hat.  “Huh, Daddy?  What if she asks?”

“Hell, I don’t know.  Just tell her we went around the corner and stopped at the airport for a while.  Then we went somewhere and we ended up getting you got a Coke and Cracker Jacks.”  “Capice?”

“OK.  Mobley’s…that’s where we’re going now, right?”

“Yeah, Mobley’s.”

The drive home after a stop at Mobley’s Drugstore for my treats was strangely and uncomfortably quiet.  Even the old car’s rattily engine sounded subdued.

We pulled into our front yard and I opened my door.  Tightly holding my booty I ran in the front door of the house anxious to show my mom what I’d gotten.  My dad stayed behind, lifting the hood and inspecting the Dodge’s tortured engine.  Walking to the back of the house I found my mom sitting in the kitchen with her head in her hands.

“Hi mom!”  I greeted her while inspecting my Cracker Jacks prize—a secret decoder ring.

“Oh, hi mijito.”  She said, a little sadness in her voice.  “What did you and your daddy do?  You were gone so long.”  She sniffled and rubbed her nose with a tattered dish towel and reached out to pull me to her.

“Nothing.  Dad took me to Bill’s Joint on McCarthy Road, and I waited in the car until he ran out. Then we went to Mobley’s for this.”  I held out the box and continued munching on a handful of Cracker Jacks.

“Bills what? WHAT?  BILL’S JOINT?!”  Her eyes bulged and she leaped out of her chair.  “BOB!!”  She lurched out of her chair and literally flew out of the kitchen.  I heard the screen door bang open and heard her saying some really angry and loud words. I couldn’t make them out, but really didn’t care too much since they weren’t directed at me.

Admiring how cool the purple plastic decoder ring looked on my hand I wondered briefly what had upset her so much.  Heck, I thought, I hadn’t even had a chance to tell her about the loud booms and about how fast daddy came running out of the place afterwards.  Oh, and his hat!  I should tell her that he lost his hat.  I’ll tell her that when she comes back in.  Tipping my head back and letting the last few kernels of sweet popcorn and peanuts roll into my mouth I thought, But I’ll just wait for her to cool off a little before I tell her anything else.

Enlightenment

In November of 1962, I was home on leave, having driven from my Air Force assignment in Winnemucca, Nevada.  It was a typical Houston winter day, mid 40’s with a stiff wind out of the north and a light chilly drizzle that swirled about coating and soaking everything with its shiny wetness.  Before leaving Nevada I had bought a decades old Chevrolet Bel-Air for the long trip back to Houston, and within thirty miles from reaching home, and late at night, the engine had died due to a clogged fuel pump.  A passing tow truck driver took pity on me and towed the car free of charge, dropping me off at my parents’ house well after midnight.

The next day I was up early and asked my mother if I could borrow their car to go to find an auto supply store to purchase a new fuel pump.  Returning later in the morning I found both my folks at home and sitting at the kitchen table.  By then my dad had been  retired from Younger Brothers for a few years, and was now heavily involved in the Pentecostal Church, mostly as a traveling lay minister.  They had moved from the old house on House Street, (now renamed Kashmere Street), and were living in a small rental that the church leadership had provided in exchange for his ministry.  It was old, and not much larger than the old house, but it was conveniently close to the church where he preached regularly.

Having a cup of coffee and reading the paper, my father asked, “So, did you find the fuel pump at the parts house OK?”

“Yeah, now I just need to find the energy to get off my butt and brave this crap weather to change it out.  You know, I just don’t understand.  I’m stationed in Nevada, and the temperature there can be twenty degrees, and I still find it possible to work outside in shirtsleeves.  Here it’s forty degrees and I start shivering within five minutes of going outside.”

“Es la humedad, mijo.”  (It’s the humidity.)  He said turning to the sports page.  “You’re just not used to it anymore.  Here, sit down and let me finish my coffee, then we’ll go out together and get that thing changed out in no time.”

“OK, thanks.”  I sat down at the table.

“Oh,” he quickly said.  “How much was the fuel pump?”

“Twelve dollars and some change, why?”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a hundred dollar bill.  “Here, some gas money for when the car’s fixed.  You still gotta drive it back, right?”

“Dad.  I don’t need any money.  I drew an advance on my check before I left so I should have enough to last me for the trip back.”

“Nonsense!”  He said.  “Take this, put it in your pocket and use it for traveling money back.  You never know what can go wrong.”

Then my mother chimed in.  “Si mijo, take the money.  We don’t spend too much nowadays.”

“No!”  I insisted.  “You both need the money more than I do.  I’m not going to take it.”

Putting the bill back into his pocket, he said with a little disappointment in his voice, “Suit yourself.”

“You want some coffee, mijo?”  My mother asked, as she cleaned around the small gas stove.

“No thanks Mom.  I know what real coffee tastes like now.  I really can’t believe you still just boil the grounds in a pan.”

“Oh, mister delicate!”  She chided.  “Your dad’s been drinking it like that all his life and he’s still alive.”

“Yeah, I know” I said.  “And I still don’t know how he doesn’t choke on the grounds.”

Sucking down the last of his coffee and smacking his lips as he put the cup down.  “You just gotta know what you’re doing.  Your mom’s coffee is not for amateurs.”  He smiled and wiggled his eyebrows, Groucho style.

I threw on a coat and we went out into the light drizzle.  After a few minutes of tinkering with the fuel hose and loosening the retaining bolts I said, “Dad, can I ask you something about something that happened when I was a kid?”

Peering into the dark engine housing through his worn and slightly bent turtle shell glasses he said, “Sure, and I’ll answer truthfully as long as the statute of limitations on the subject has expired.”  Looking over the top of the scratched up lenses he winked.

“Well, I don’t know, maybe not.”  I said cautiously.

“Shoot then.”  He quipped.

“OK, when I was little—I don’t know, maybe seven or eight…before my brother was born, for sure…one day you took me with you to some bar over on McCarthy Road because mom made you take me.  Remember?”

“Sure I remember.  I’m old, not senile. That, good buddy, would be your mom.”

“Seriously, dad.”

“OK, yeah, I remember.  Bill’s Joint.”  He added, as he pushed up his glasses.  And you spilled the beans when we got home.”

“Right!”  I looked up to see him shaking his head.  “Yeah, sorry about that, but I remember you went in and were there for a while—then some guy pulled up in a car next to ours and took a rifle out of his trunk.”

He pushed himself out from under the hood and took off his glasses. “Shotgun.  It was a shotgun.  You saw it, huh?”

“Yup.  I remember thinking how big and black that thing looked as he walked between the cars then went into the bar.”

“Hmm, I guess I should’ve asked you if you saw anything when I came out.”

“Well, as I recall, you were in a bit of a hurry.  Anyway, as he was going in the door I heard the jukebox playing what I now know was a Hank Williams song, and then I heard a lot of loud booms.  I assume now that he shot up the place.  Right?”

He looked around as if there may be someone hiding in the bushes with a recording device.  “OK look, I caught hell from your mom that day because you told her where I took you.  But if she’d ever found out what really happened that day in that bar she would’ve left me for sure.”

“Yeah, I remember she was really pissed anyway.  Okay, so what happened?  I assume it wasn’t good.”

“OK, but you have to promise me, man to man, that you’ll never breathe a word of this as long as I’m still alive.”

“Dad,” I reached over to pat him on the shoulder, “I know a lot of stuff that I saw when I was growing up that I’ve never told anyone.  So I’m not about to start now.”

“Hmmm,” he mused.  “We’ll have to discuss that subject at length one of these days.  But anyway, I went in to Bill’s to have a beer, but mainly I was there to try to collect on a gambling debt that Bill—that’s the owner—owed me.  He was behind the bar when I walked in.”

He paused to clean his glasses on his shirttail and held them out to make sure they were clean. “When I sat down on a stool,” he continued, “I noticed there were two other guys sitting a couple of bar stools away on either side of me, nursing their beers.  Call it a sixth sense, but as soon as I took my seat and looked around I got a case of the heebie-jeebies—you know?”  He perched his glasses back on his nose and rested his right foot up on the front bumper.  Crossing his arms over his knee, he leaned forward and focused his eyes somewhere very far away.

“I don’t think you remember, but the place was tiny; really just a rectangular wood frame building, the long side running left to right.  I think had been someone’s house a long time before.”

He paused, his face passive and his eyes narrowing and searching for that long forgotten visual memory.  “Anyway, Bill had gutted the place and built the bar so that when you sat on the stools your back was to the double doors, and the little windows that were on either side.  You know that I have never liked to sit anywhere with my back to the door.”  He shook his head negatively and rubbed his neck, slowly.  “But, there I was.”

He shot a nervous glance toward the house, and then continued.  “So Bill and I were chatting about how he was on a bad luck run, losing a couple of hundred dollars in just over a week when the door behind me suddenly opened.”  He started to get really nervous now; taking off his glasses again and cleaning them on his shirt-tail, and putting them back on repeatedly.

He continued, “Bill glanced up and I looked over my right shoulder.  All I saw was the shotgun that this guy was bringing it up to his shoulder.”

“Shit.” I said without thinking.

“Now if you were to ask me what this guy looked like, I could never tell you.  I never saw his face.  But I could sure tell you volumes about that gun.”

“He didn’t point it at you, did he?”  I asked.

“Ha, I didn’t wait long enough to find out.  Without even thinking, and with all my strength I grabbed the backside of the bar and pulled myself up and dove head first over the bar…right into Bill’s stomach.  I guess he must’ve be frozen because apparently he hadn’t moved an inch.  I hit him square in the gut, wrapped both my arms around him, and we both went down like sacks of potatoes onto the floor behind the bar.  He rolled over on top of me and that’s when I felt—didn’t really hear—the first two volleys.  I remember looking up and seeing a sheet of red spray raining down, mostly on Bill.

“God Dad, the guy shooting never said anything?”  I asked.

“I don’t think so, but I couldn’t hear so good then because the first volley blew my hearing out a bit.  I started crawling away from where I thought the guy was when I noticed that Bill was crawling the other way.  Then I heard the next two shots.  In my mind I remember thinking how funny they sounded: like loud metallic clangs—not booms at all.  I guess it was because we were inside a building and not outside where the sound could quickly dissipate.”

“Was the guy shooting at Bill?”

“That’s what I thought, but apparently having taken out the first guy, he’d quickly jammed two more cartridges and leveled on the second guy at the bar.  That guy was probably scared shitless, oh, sorry; anyway, he didn’t think to jump or run.  He just sat there, frozen.”

“Christ!”  I’d forgotten how unpleasant the cold drizzle was.

“By then,” he continued, “I was crab crawling as fast as I could to try to get behind a beer cooler near what should’ve been a back door.  Well, there was a door but it was blocked with four beer kegs, stacked two by two.

“So,” he continued. “Making myself as small as possible I squeezed down between the kegs and the cooler and finally took a chance to peek out to see where the shooter was.  That’s when I saw Bill at the far end of the bar starting to stand up with a pistol in his hand.  He must’ve had it stashed somewhere behind the bar and waited ‘till the guy blew off the second two rounds.  Almost dreamlike, I saw flame come out of the barrel and saw the recoil.  I don’t recall hearing the gun go off.”

“Did he hit the guy?”

“Put four rounds square in his face while he was trying to reload.  I felt the floor vibrate under me when the guy hit the floor.”

“Did Bill tell you to get out at that point?”

“Well, if he did I couldn’t hear him anyway.  No, I scooted around the end of the bar and tried to look out to find the shooter.  Then I saw him. He was on the floor, on his back with one leg under him, still holding the shotgun in one hand.  Half his forehead was split open and one of his eyeballs was hanging down by his cheek.  A geyser of blood was slowly pumping out of where his forehead used to be, and he was twitching a bit.

“I couldn’t believe the bastard was still holding the shotgun, broken open, and there were two live cartridges rolling on the floor.  He was planning to jam those into the breach and keep shooting.  Jesus, smoke was still curling out of the damn barrels.  That’s when I got up on all fours and baby crawled as fast as I could to the door.”

“What about the two other guys?  Where were they?”

“Don’t know, and at that time I didn’t care.  I got up and ran through the doors as fast as I could.  Took the screens right off their hinges as I went out, and got into the car as fast as I could.  I just wanted out of there.”

“Do you remember what you told me when you got into the car?”  I asked, curious.

“You know, I don’t remember very much until we got to Mobley’s Drug Store.  I don’t know why we were there, to tell you the truth.  But I remember you wanted some popcorn or something.”

“Cracker Jacks.”

“What?”

“I wanted Cracker Jacks…and a Coke, so I asked you to take me to Mobley’s Drug store.”

“OK.”  He was sweating a little bit now, or maybe it was just the drizzle.

“Jesus Dad, did the cops ever call to question you?”

“Bill never admitted to anyone else being in the bar.  For sure, aside from Bill, there were no witnesses left.  The crap part was that he never paid me my money, but I sure as hell wasn’t about to go back and ask him for it either.”

“Did Bill get in trouble with the law?”

“No, he was no-billed by the Grand Jury a couple of months later and the case was closed.  It was a clear case of self-defense.”

“What about the shooter?  Why did he go in like that?”  That was the question that I really wanted to have an answer to.

“Well, I really never found out for sure, but the talk around town was that one of the guys he gunned down had been messing with his wife.  I found out later that he’d killed her first at their house before he drove out to the bar.  Guess he knew where his wife’s boyfriend did his drinking.  Then after having done him, I guess he decided he couldn’t leave any witnesses.”

“Holy crap!”  I exclaimed.  “This sounds like a movie.”

“Well, I thought that maybe I should stay close to home a bit more after that, but that didn’t last too long.  I went back to drinking a couple of weeks later.”

“Have you seen Bill since then?”

“No, about a year after the shooting he sold the bar and we lost touch.  Then I heard he died of cancer a couple of years later.  He was only forty-eight.”

“Well, that was a hell of an experience.”  I said, quite amazed.

He ran his hand through his thinning hair, took a deep breath, and said, “Yeah, so just remember, don’t ever sit anywhere with your back to the door.

“Hey, this fuel pump ain’t getting fixed by itself!”  Rubbing his hands together vigorously he said, “Let’s finish up, I’m getting cold.”

Funny, I had forgotten all about the weather.

Call me crazy, or call me superstitious; but to this day I never sit with my back to any door, anywhere.  Not if I can help it.  Ask anyone.

***

There are two major things that make these previous recollections so extraordinary.  One, is that before I left home for the Air Force, my dad and I never had much of a speaking relationship.  Early on, most of the time he was either off working, out with his buddies drinking, and later on fraternizing with the church brothers and other reverends.  Whenever he was at home I remember him mostly sitting at the table drinking coffee (or buttermilk if he was nursing a hangover) and reading a newspaper.  Our usual communication would pretty much go like this:

Me:  “Hey dad, what’cha doing?”

Him: “Reading the paper, why?”  (Eyes still glued to the paper)

Me:  “Oh, nothing.  What’cha gonna do today?”

Him:  “I don’t know.  Go bother your mother, or go outside and play.”

And off I’d go.

Even right up to the day before I left for the Air Force in 1960, and after asking my mom to leave the room, he asked me to sit with him because he said he needed to tell me something very important.

“You know,” he started, tentatively, “you’ll be meeting women now that you’re going off on your own.”

“Yeah.”

“So, you’ll have to be careful…you know.”

“About what?”

“Women!” He started to tense up and I noticed a small tic working his upper lip.

“What about them will I have to be careful of?”  I asked curiously.

“You know.”

“No…I don’t.”

“Some of them are dirty.”  He quickly spit out.

“Uh, dirty, like what?  Like some of them don’t take baths?”

“No Pancho!  You know…down there.”  He nodded his head slightly downward.

I looked at the floor, then looked up at him.  “Their feet?”

“Look Frank,” he said, a bit exasperated.  “Some women carry sicknesses down there between their legs…so you have to be careful—that’s all.”

“What kind of sicknesses?”  This was starting to be fun.

“Clap!”  He blurted out.  “And…and…bugs, like fleas, but worse.”

He was getting real pale now and was doing his best to avert my gaze.

“Crap?” I asked.

“Jesus.”  He mumbled, staring at the floor.

“Look dad,” I finally said.  “Gonorrhea, syphilis, and crabs.  Does that about cover it?”

He slowly looked up at me and stared for a bit; nervously pursing and licking his lips, finally saying, “OK, so I want you to be careful and go out with women that are clean—OK?”

“Sure dad.  I’ll be sure to check them out before I take them out. We done?”

“Yup!”  This as he was anxiously getting up from the chair and escaping out the back door presumably to go tinker with the car.

The second extraordinary thing was his offering me money.  In all my life, previous to my leaving home that is, my father had never, ever, offered me, or my mother, any money—for anything!  No money on birthdays, none (of course) for my high school graduation, and certainly none for any kind of allowance. Even when he was making good money prior to going to work for Younger Brothers, he’d stop by the house on payday (usually Friday) and give my mother a twenty dollar bill.  “This is for groceries.”  He’d say, as he was walking back out the door and to his car not to be seen again until maybe Sunday.  By then he was broke.

A Discovery and the Brothers

The Sunday night service we attended that evening didn’t end until well after ten o’clock.  My brother had fallen asleep halfway into the service and when the final hymn and dismissal prayer had concluded he lay sprawled face down on the pew, mouth open, a small puddle of spittle slowing pooling where the back rest and seat met.

As I got up, slowly flexing my stiff back muscles and lightly stamping the prickly pins out of my numb right foot, I saw that Reverend Villa had left the stage and was making his way towards us—glad handing and smiling broadly at some of the members who had migrated up to the pulpit area.  He raised his left hand in our direction while seemingly ignoring Sister Sánchez as she hurried up to him, her pudgy little hand extended—probably hoping for a warm handshake and a willing ear.  Brushing quickly past her and still waving his arm and hand directly at my dad he yelled, “¡Señor De León!  Un momento por favor.”  He slowed his pace as he caught my dad’s eye.

Acknowledging the reverend’s calls my dad looked over to my mom. “Evelyn, get Ricky up and wait for me outside.  The reverend wants to talk to me.”  He then moved down the pew toward the right side exit next to the wall.

Before my mom could respond, Mrs. Villa, who had been chatting with a couple of sisters on the pew in front of us, turned and said, “Señora De León, I’ll help you with the boy.  Just let me come around.”

“Pancho, ayúdame con tu hermano.”  (…help me with your brother)  Mom asked as she tried to pick him up off the pew.  Mrs. Villa made it around the pew and grabbed my brother’s legs as my mom wrestled with his head and upper body.

“¡Aye, que pesado es este niño!”  (…this kid is heavy!)  Mrs. Villa exclaimed.

“Sí, ya se.” (Yes, I know.) My mom responded.  “Es muy comelón.” (He’s quite the eater.)

Together, they managed to push my brother’s chubby limp body up to where my mom could cradle his bottom with one arm while his head lolled over her shoulder.  As she made her way to the side exit door I saw that my brother, mouth open and head bouncing with my mom’s every step, had resumed his spittle production and a bit of it was running down the back of her dress.

Following at a safe distance I paused just before I got to the door and looked to my left where the musicians were busily packing up their instruments.  Joni was standing there, one knee on the piano bench, talking to a guy whom I’d never seen before.  He was tall, sported a dark complexion and wore his hair in a greasy Elvis-style pompadour.  For just a moment they both stopped talking and shot a glance over in my direction.  I thought about waving to her, but then thought better of it since the guy might think it was him that I was waving to.  Before I had a chance to finish the thought they both turned away continuing their conversation.  Watching for a few more seconds I saw that she was very relaxed and was smiling widely and nodding enthusiastically at whatever he was saying.  Feeling a bit dejected I turned away and walked out into the dark parking lot breaking into a little sprint to catch up with my mom and brother.

After Mrs. Villa and my mom shoved Ricky into the back seat of the car, my mother opened the trunk, pulled out an old thin flannel blanket, and covered my brother from head to toe.

“Para los mosquitos”.  She quietly explained to no one in particular.

After quietly closing the door and looking in the window to make sure my brother was still sound asleep, my mother asked Mrs. Villa, “¿Bueno, y entonces a donde vamos?”  (OK, where to now?)

“Vamos al comedor.”  Mrs. Villa instructed. “Allí podemos platicar acerca de la Sociedad de Hermanas en nuestra iglesia.”  (Let’s go into the dining room.  We can talk there about the Sisterhood in our church.)

I wasn’t sure I’d heard her correctly when she mentioned a “dining room”.  We were outside in the parking lot, and as far as I could remember the Villa house was not anywhere within walking distance.

“¿El comedor?”  My mom asked, with a puzzled look on her face.

“Si.  Allá está al otro lado de la iglesia.” (Yes, it’s on the other side of the church.)  Mrs. Villa said as she began to walk behind the church.

Rounding the back side of the church I saw that there was actually a small square wooden building that was hidden away from the street and parking lot view.  It was dimly illuminated by a couple of light bulbs hanging from metal fixtures guarding both sides of a small screen door.  Through the brightly lit windows I could see several people inside milling about and talking loudly amid the sharp din of clanging tin spoons and the rattling of cups and saucers.

I followed as the two women climbed the sagging wooden steps, and once inside I was overwhelmed with the pungent aroma of brewing coffee and the sweet smell of warm bread.  I recognized a few of the church members I’d seen in church, and couldn’t help but notice the large old man who played the bajo sexto—smooth brown skinned bald head shining brightly—leaning on a small counter where a large commercial sized coffee pot bubbled noisily away.  Next to his elbow I spotted a nice variety of pastries that sent my saliva glands into rapid overdrive.

There were probably a dozen, or so, people there, standing around in small groups balancing coffee cups, saucers, and morsels of sweet Mexican pastry, while merrily conversing and laughing raucously.  Once Mrs. Villa was spotted, the conversations quickly died away and all eyes turned to acknowledge her presence.

Sporadically, “Buenas noches, hermana”, “Hola Señora Villa”, “Dios la bendiga, Hermana”, rang through the small room.

“¡Hermanos!” Mrs. Villa said—raising her voice slightly to attract the attention of those few who had missed her entrance and had continued their conversations.  Clearing her throat, she announced, “Ya conocen a la Señora De León y su hijo, Frankie.”  (You all already know Mrs. De León and her son, Frankie), magnanimously delivered with a sweep of her arm.  “Y, por favor, continúen con sus refrescos y postres.” (And, please, continue with your refreshments and pastries.)

Turning around she put her arm on my shoulder and said, “Go!  If you want some coffee, the cups are over there and the pastries are on the counter.  One of our members works in a Mexican panaderia (bakery) and he…well, he brings us what they don’t sell.”

I didn’t need a second invitation so I made a charge towards the sweets.  Working my way around the large bass playing brother I grabbed a yummy looking pan de huevo (egg bread: fluffy soft and sweet), and looked to find a cup.

“¿Te llamas Panchito, eh?” (Your name is Frankie, eh?) The bass player asked, rubbing his head.

“Yes.  Donde están las copas?”  (Where are the cups?)

“Aquí, mijo.”  He pointed to a shelf beneath the counter on which the large coffee maker and pastries were sitting.

After pouring myself about a half a cup of coffee and adding plenty of cream to help wash the sweet bread down, I looked around the “comedor” and wondered how I’d never seen it before.  Stepping out to escape the stuffiness of the small building, I saw that at night if the lights were off, the building—tucked away in a corner of the lot behind the church—would be almost invisible.

When I had attended daytime services I hadn’t seen it because there was never a need to go exploring behind the church.  I would later learn that el comedor was where several of the more senior sisters of the church (the best cooks, no doubt) would spend most of the day preparing and serving breakfast, lunch, and dinner to the members and guests attending church conferences (always scheduled on Saturday); and cooking and serving the membership and guests attending evangelical revivals.

Seeing that my mom was surrounded by several other sisters, seemingly talking to her all at the same time, I decided to step out into the cooler night air.  Nursing my coffee I walked slowly back to my car and peeked into the car through the passenger side window to check on Ricky.  He was still under the blanket sound asleep.

As I turned around to make my way back to the dining room I was startled to see that Joni’s two brothers were standing quietly, arms crossed, staring directly at my face.

“Oh, hi!”  I said, maybe a little too loud.

“Hey.” The bigger and older of the two responded.  “What’s your name?”

“Uh, Frankie…Frank.”

“Oh yeah,” the big one said to the smaller one.  “…he’s the new kid…De León, right?” Turning back to face me.

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“Word of advice.”  Big boy sneered.  “Our sister is not interested in you.  So back off, ese.”

“Yeah,” said the little one.  “Not at all.  She likes Gilbert.”

“¡Cállate pendejo!”  (Shut up, stupid!)  The big one spit out, glaring at his brother. “He don’t need to know our business, or hers.”  The younger one looked down at his shoes.

“I..ah..I’m not interested in your sister—not in that way, I mean.”  I lied.  “I just thought we could be friends.”

“She doesn’t have friends, ese…not boyfriends.  Not like you.  Get it?”  The big guy whispered loudly, as he took a step closer.

“That’s fine.”  I managed to wheeze out.  “No problem.”

“So long as you understand.”  The smaller one added.

“See,” his brother continued, “she’s never going to end up with some mojado (wetback) who can’t support her and ends up kicking her ass every weekend.  Or some loser like some of the pendejos that go to this church.”

Now, this was really going quite a bit further than I had imagined because I had never entertained the thought of dating anyone, much less marrying someone.  And now I’m being accused by a couple of red headed bullies of moving in on their sister.  I was beginning to get a bit agitated about their attitude; to say nothing of the language the sons of the mighty Reverendo Villa were using.

Stupidity suddenly took over and I heard myself saying, “Look guys, I’m not looking to find a girlfriend or anything like that.  I just liked your sister and talked to her because she seemed nice and she plays the piano really well.  That’s all.  But truly, I don’t need to hear this bullshit from either of you.  And, especially you being reverend’s sons.  So, let’s just drop this now.”

The world turned very quiet, and got very small—and I felt as if I had suddenly been thrust into a vacuum.  Time stopped, and I marveled at my foolhardiness.  Where in the hell had all those words just come from? 

Just then…

“Oye.”  (Listen.) The big one said to the smaller one; his voice reaching my ears like an echo.  “He’s Robert’s fucking little friend.”

The world reappeared.

Instead of a right hook to the face or a kick to the groin, the brothers simultaneously put their hands out for a shake.  “Tienes cojones, vato.”  (You got balls, dude.)  Said the big one.  “We were just fucking with you, ese.”  “¿Verdad?”  He affirmed with his brother.

We shook all around.

“Peter!”  Said the older brother.

“Eddie!” Said the younger one.

“Frank!” I announced boldly, while shaking their hands.

“Hey, ese!  I like this little fucker.”  Eddie said, looking up at Peter.

“Yeah.” Peter said, nodding his head and stretching the word out. “But we’re not fucking kidding about Joni.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not interested.”  With that I decided that I had skated on thin ice long enough and pushed between them heading back to the dining room.  Looking up I saw my mother coming out, accompanied by Mrs. Villa and a couple of other sisters.  Looking to my left I spotted my dad stepping out the church’s side door while Reverend Villa held the screen door open.  I veered over towards my dad and the reverend.

“Hey boy!”  My dad shouted cheerfully.  “Ready to go home?”

“Yup.”  I answered, wondering why he was in such a good mood.

“Where’s your mom?”

Pointing in the direction of the dining room I said, “Over there.  She’s with Mrs. Villa.”

Closing the screen door behind him, Reverend Villa said, “Allá está el comedor, hermano; como le dije.”  (The dining room is over there, brother; just as I said.)  As he tapped my dad’s shoulder while pointing the small rectangular building out.

“Oh yeah, you know I could sure use some coffee.”  My dad said as the reverend came around to my dad’s side.  “Then we gotta go…Frank has some homework he needs to finish tonight.”

“No te preocupes, hermano.”  (Don’t worry, brother.)  The reverend said.  Then in a loud voice directed to his wife, “¡Querida!  Tráele una copa de papel con un cafecito para que el hermano se lo lleve a la casa.”  (Sweetheart!  Bring some coffee in a paper cup so brother can take it home.)

Mrs. Villa waved and turned back toward the dining room.  My mom, still escorted by the other two sisters, continued to head to our car.

I stopped to see if Peter and Eddie were still standing by our car, but saw that they’d walked away and were now standing behind their new Buick.  Well, I thought.  I didn’t feel like introducing them to my parents anyway.  I don’t particularly like them.

On the trip home I was a bit mystified by the good mood that both my parents were in.  My dad was whistling a catchy tune and my mom was trying to hum along with the melody—badly.  It took me a while, but shortly before pulling into our yard I realized that they had been intoning one of the cheery little “coritos” that Joni occasionally launched into to keep the congregation’s spirits high.

***

My mother was the first to surrender to the Pentecostal religion.  That event occurred after a particularly fiery sermon had been delivered during a Thursday night service by a visiting, and very charismatic, female preacher.  The following morning, as I was getting ready for school, I heard her praying in a shaky teary voice, begging God and all His angels to help her by somehow also bringing her husband to Jesus.

Ever since that Sunday night service when they had gone off to speak in private, the Reverend Villa had been working hard on my father.  And whenever my father failed to attend any service we could surely count on the little caravan of Villa’s disciples faithfully paying us a home visit the very next day; most of the time led by the man himself.  I began to sense a change in my father and his well-known habits.  He’d suspended his usual Friday night forays, instead packing us up and dragging us to church.  On Saturdays, instead of butter-milking away a dreadful hangover he worked on our car or sat on the porch leafing through a bible that he’d somehow mysteriously acquired.  Sundays?  Well, you know where we spent most of the day.  The magic that Reverend Villa and his minions were working on my dad finally took hold.

One Sunday evening about two months after my mother took the dive, my father, deep in the throes of religious fervor and crying like a baby, was all but carried to the altar by a group of brothers; and within the hour, surrounded by a sweaty and teary-eyed throng of the church’s most devout members, confessed that he’d been a terrible sinner and declared Jesus as his personal savior.  On his knees, tears flowing like water down his cheeks and body shaking uncontrollably, he sorrowfully traded in his wayward life for a shiny new calling.

Reverend Villa, seeing his efforts finally rewarded, lifted his sweat drenched head and bellowed to the very heavens:  “¡Señor!  ¡Te amos entregado la alma de este pecador mundial, y Usted nos ha devuelto un soldado de Jesucristo!  ¡Gloria a Dios! Y gracias por el sacrificio que Su Hijo nos ha dado!  Le has lavado los pecados con la sangre sagrada de Tu Hijo.  ¡Aleluia y aleluia!” (Lord, we have delivered unto You the soul of an earthly sinner, and You have returned to us a soldier for Jesus Christ!  Glory to God!  And thank You for the sacrifice your Son has given for us!  You have washed away his sins with the sacred blood of your Son! )

Sitting uncomfortably on the hard pew with my sleeping brother’s head in my lap, I watched as my mother went down on her knees crying and thanking God for the miracle she was seeing.  I was nervous and confused, and as I watched my brother sleep peacefully, I wondered what all of this meant for me—for us.

After having smoked two to three packs a day since he was a teen and drinking the equivalent of two fifths of hard whiskey just about every weekend for years, my father quit everything cold turkey overnight.  To my knowledge he never did smoke another cigarette, and it was decades later that I actually saw him drink alcohol—a margarita, while having lunch at a Mexican restaurant in Houston with me and a girlfriend in the early 1990’s.

With both my parents now fully entrenched in the Pentecostal religion, and proselytizing to anyone who would listen (and even those who wouldn’t) about their faith, I truly began to believe that our pitiful and poverty-stricken family life would now take a positive turn and come to be more peaceful, predictable, and most of all, financially stable.

I was sadly mistaken.